TITLE : With a Little Help From My Friends
AUTHOR'S NOTE : Wrote this because hiatuses, however short they are, seems like an eternity, and I'm a very impatient person who needed to preoccupy my imagination. This is my short story sequel to "Stand By Me". Pardon the embellishments.
DISCLAIMER : I don't own any of the recognizable characters. They belong to L.J. Smith, Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec, et al.,and CW Network.
SUMMARY : The only thing Elena Gilbert had left was her humanity, but even that was taken away from her to spare her from pain. As a different Elena emerge, she drove her friends away. Will she be able to flip the switch back on? Will she want to? (Slightly Delena)
WARNING : Some spoilers if you're not all caught up with season 4. Mostly canon. Timeline is a tad confusing due to flashbacks. Self-beta'd so forgive any imperfections.
CHAPTER ONE
Elena Gilbert sat comfortably on the couch in the waiting area of the boutique that Caroline dragged them to. She observed her friends faces one by one. Matt Donovan. Bonnie Bennett. Caroline Forbes. Her life-long friends...people she'd known since they were children, now wearing older faces. Kind faces with amused smiles and sad eyes.
They're trying. Elena thought.
They've been through a lot these past couple of years. But they all went through it together. Scarred but stronger. It's not over yet, the big bad Silas was still out there. But then again, Mystic Falls have been littered with the "Big Bads" of the world. The Big Bad Damon. The Big Bad Katherine. The Big Bad Klaus. It's been one 'Big Bad' after another as of late. But at the moment, they have other priorities. Big Bad Silas will just have to wait.
"Do I really have to wear this monkey suit to the prom, Care?" Elena chuckled as she heard Matt's whining.
"Yes, you do, Matt. You know why? Because it will make me happy." Caroline batted her eyelashes at the quarterback.
"Give it up, Matt. We all have to wear prom attire with the Caroline Forbes seal of approval. What she says, goes. And that's the end of that." Bonnie said with a soft laugh.
Elena felt her heart heal a little bit after witnessing the light banter and the soft laughter between her friends. That, after all, was the purpose of this whole shopping excursion...an exercise in healing, as suggested by Caroline. Why? Because they've earned it.
Elena's let her mind wander on the 'what-could-have-beens', if all the crap that had happened in their lives didn't happen. Vicki should have been there to give Matt grief about his prom tuxedo. Tyler should have been there as Caroline's living Ken doll. Miranda and Jenna should have been there to help Elena pick out her dress. Jeremy should have been there with a mischievous grin once he sees Bonnie model her dress.
Elena sighed and shook her her slightly. Due to unforeseen situations that none of them could control, all of them had suffered through a loss...family, friend, love. Matt lost a sister. Caroline lost a dad, and in a way, an EPIC love, with Tyler on the run from Klaus. Bonnie lost her Grams, and of course, Jeremy. It wasn't just Elena who lost him. They all had lost Jeremy. He wasn't just a brother...he was also a best buddy...a boyfriend.
Elena's eyes well up with tears, as she looked at her friends. They all had a shared history. A shared suffering. It was selfish of her to take the easy way out. She had the luxury to not feel any emotion, while the others dealt with their grief the natural way. Elena sniffled softly, as her tears stained her cheeks.
"Elena, what's wrong?" Matt asked worriedly, as he, Caroline and Bonnie gathered around her.
Elena smiled as she cried. "I just love you guys so much!" she answered, while she collected all of them into a group hug.
The hug went on for a while until Matt spoke up. "I'm saying this as a member of Team Human, the lack of oxygen is becoming an issue for me right now!" he gasped.
"Way to ruin the moment, Matt!" Caroline quipped.
"Actually, the lack of air was becoming an issue for me too." Bonnie agreed, earning a look from Caroline. "What? Some of us needs to breathe, Care." she told the blonde.
"Whatever." Caroline rolled her eyes, before turning to face Elena. "In celebration of Elena's return..." she said, as she produced a champagne bottle and flutes from her bag. "...I propose a toast." she declared.
"Whoa, Care! Where did you get that?" Elena asked her.
"The Salvatore cellar." the blonde replied, as she popped the cork and poured everyone a glass. "Raise your glasses, my friends. To Elena..." she toasted. "May your heart continue to heal, your strength grow, your burdens lessen, your happiness multiply." she said. "And may Bitchy Heartless Elena forever be dead and gone." she added with a chuckle.
"Hear, hear." Matt agreed.
"Cheers!" Bonnie raised her glass.
"Damn glad to have you back!" Caroline told her, as she hugged her tightly.
"Glad to be back." Elena replied, hugging her in return.
It was hard to believe that things weren't like this between her and her friends not too long ago. Elena was a mess after Jeremy's death. The pain she felt was so inconsolable, Damon had no choice but to invoke the sire bond and order her to turn her switch off. But the plan did not go without consequences, as they all soon found out. And her friends had barely recognized the Elena that she had turned into. Elena's thoughts drifted back to what happened in the past few weeks.
A FEW WEEKS AGO...
"Elena, we need to talk!" Damon told her, as he slightly grabbed her arm.
"About what?" Elena asked, wiping the blood residue from the corner of her mouth.
"What was that all about?" Damon asked again, careful not to raise his voice.
"That was lunch." she replied nonchalantly. Damon raised an eyebrow. "What? I was hungry. And now I'm not. Simple as that." she told him.
"Elena-" he tried to explain.
"I don't see how is this any different from the way you fed on Tri-Delts?" she asked coldly.
"The difference is, I just don't grab them and tear their necks out in broad daylight. Snatch, feed and erase, Elena! Have I taught you nothing?" Damon tried to keep as calm as possible.
"I remember...I just can't bring myself to care." Elena replied flatly.
"Caroline and Stefan, they're worried about you. Hell, I'm worried about you!" Damon told her.
"Caroline's just pissed that I'm gunning for cheerleading squad captain." she replied. "And as for Stefan, he's just now realizing that he can never get the old Elena back. Poor, defenseless, mopey Elena." she added, as she looked Damon in the eye. "You don't want her back, do you, Damon?" she asked, her hands roaming seductively all over his chest.
"You're still you, Elena...just with some modifications. This version of you is not so different from the old one...just slightly damaged." Damon answered.
"THIS Elena wants to fuck you in the middle of the school football field!" she whispered to his ear. "Come on, Damon. Let's give them something to really talk about." she dared him, as she nibbled on his earlobe.
"Not like this, Elena." Damon sighed in frustration.
"For fuck's sake! If I wanted a vanilla boyfriend, I'd go back to Stefan!" she screamed. "I want you, Damon." she said in a lower voice, as she kissed his jawline, working her way to his lips.
"I don't want you to do anything right now that you'll regret later, when you turn your switch back on." Damon told her, as he pulled away from her.
"Ha! I am never turning it back on! Why would I do that? I like ME better this way. Want. Take. Have. I do what I want, how I want it, when I want to. No emotions. No restrictions. No conscience. I will never turn it back on!" she replied.
"Yes, you will." Damon said matter-of-factly. "Because I want you to, Elena. I want to help you, Elena. Let me help you. Turn your emotions back on." he said in his most soothing tone. "Turn it on. Just let it all back in. It's what you need to do. It's what I want you to do." he ordered her.
Elena stared at him blankly at first. Then she blinked and began to laugh hysterically. "Don't want to. Don't have to. Not gonna. And you can't make me." she replied, as she laughed harder. "Wow! I guess when you asked me to turn off my humanity, you broke the sire bond in the process!" she realized, leaving Damon dumbfounded.
"I'm free. Free from pain. Free from you. Free from this God-awful town and the fucking memories that it comes with!" Elena snarled at him.
"Elena wait!" Damon called her.
"You just don't do it for me anymore, Damon." she told him, with both her hands cupping his face. "And so this is goodbye." she said, before twisting his head and snapping his neck. She stepped over Damon's lifeless body, and casually walked away.
PRESENT...
"Elena...hello? Anybody home?" Caroline snapped her fingers to get her attention.
"Sorry, Care. Were you saying something?" Elena asked.
"I asked you if you've decided which dress are you gonna wear for the prom?" Caroline shook her head.
"No, I haven't." Elena replied.
"I say go for the blue. Like the one you wore for the Miss Mystic Falls pageant." Matt chimed in.
"Blue is too safe." Caroline told him, remembering the conversation with Damon, Elena and April.
"How about the white dress then?" Bonnie asked.
"Puh-leeze! She's going to the prom...not getting married." Caroline retorted.
"Go with the blood red dress then. I'm sure Damon would love that." Bonnie rolled her eyes.
Elena bit her lip at the sound of Damon's name. "Actually, I haven't asked him. I haven't spoken to him since...that night." she confessed.
"Speak of the devil." Caroline muttered, looking out the store window. Elena followed her gaze, and saw Damon talking to Sheriff Forbes out side the town hall. "Well...now's your chance." she urged Elena.
Elena closed her eyes, as she recalled the conversation she had with Damon, not long after she snapped his neck.
A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO...
Elena stared at the dark skies, as she laid down in the middle of the road. She had no idea how she got there, just that it was where her feet had brought her. She didn't know why she was there, and she didn't care.
A few moments later, a car stopped by and someone stepped out not long after.
"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" a tiny voice asked.
Elena looked up to see a petite blonde teenager, probably Jeremy's age. She was amused to see the concerned look on the girl's face. "My night just got better." she hissed at her, before baring her fangs as she grabbed the girl.
She felt a pair of strong hands grab her and pull her away from the blonde, much to her annoyance. She knew who it was before she even looked.
"Go back to your car. Drive home. Forget what you just saw her tonight." Damon compelled the girl. The girl repeated what he said, got back inside her car, and drove away.
Elena clapped her hand slowly. "You again. I guess I didn't make myself clear when I told you to piss off." she snarled.
"I'm here to help, Elena." Damon told her calmly.
"I'm not in the mood to be saved, Damon. Not tonight. Not ever." she turned to walk away, but Damon grabbed her before she could leave.
"I'm freaking hungry, Damon! Let me go, and leave me alone!" Elena yelled.
"Is this what you really want, Elena?" Damon snapped back. "I need you to be sure that this is what you want. Because, once you do this, there's no going back." he said in a calmer voice.
"This, coming from someone who spent a century and a half of his undead life living the credo that man-whoring and mass murder is life well-spent." she snorted.
"Let's just say that I've learned from experience, what this choice can do to you. I don't want you to wake up one day, with your emotions back on-and take it from someone who knows, it WILL turn itself back on-and find out that you've had meaningless sex with countless strangers. Or worse than that, I don't want you to drown in guilt once you remembered killing all those innocent people. Because the people that you will brutally murder, they belong to others. They're somebody's Miranda and Grayson. They're someone else's Jenna. Another person's Jeremy." Damon tried to make her understand.
Hearing all those names stopped Elena in her tracks. "I can't let myself feel again, Damon. It hurts too much." she whispered.
Damon ran his hand over his hair. He knew he needed to get through to Elena. "A wise alcoholic once told me, 'The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.' I won't tell you the rest...it gets a tad depressing after that. The point is, many are made stronger in the places where life has broken them. Elena...you will come off better as a result of the losses and hardships that you endure." he pulled her closer, as he tried to comfort her.
Elena tried to pull away from him, but he only held her tighter. "Why are you doing this?" she asked him.
Damon brought his lips to her forehead and gave it a gentle kiss. He spoke in a calm, almost hushed tone. "There's this guy walking down a street who falls into a hole. The hole was too deep, he couldn't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, 'Hey Doc, can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up, 'Father! I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. 'Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?' And then the friend jumps into the hole with him. The guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here!' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out.'" Damon then held on to Elena's hands tightly. "I've been down here before, Elena. And I know the way out. I know I can't be who you want me to be, but I can be who you need me to be. I won't let you do something that you'll regret. I won't let you hurt anybody, especially not yourself. I'm doing this because I love you. And you know what? You don't even need to love me in return." Damon told her.
"Do you have any idea how pathetic you sound?" Elena struggled and pulled away from him. "My sweet, pathetic Damon. Poor, unloved Damon. The one who nobody ever chose. Your own brother hates you. Your father loathed you. Nobody ever loved you. Not Katherine. Certainly not me. I don't love you. I don't care how much you pathetically throw yourself at me over and over again, I can never love you. The amount of love, concern and care that you show me, it's all wasted on me. I don't know how to love...not anymore. And I like it like that." she hissed. "This is the life I have now. I chose this. I will stay like this for all of eternity. I don't want to care anymore. You made that possible, for that I am grateful. Now, stay the hell away from me. I can't stand to see you anymore!" she ordered him, her voice dripping with venom.
Damon bowed his head in surrender. There are some lessons in life that people need to learn on their own. She needed to figure things out, in her own way, at her own time. He started to walk away, but couldn't resist to bestow Elena some parting words.
"The switch is a lie, you know?" he began. "There is no switch than you can just turn off and on. It only works on baby vampires willing to get fooled by it. But as time goes by...most of us who wants to live forever just have to pretend. Because forever is a really, really long time, Elena. And we need to pretend if we want to survive. And in order to survive, we need to not care about anyone. So we let ourselves pretend that there's a switch. But in reality, the switch is a lie." he said, as he stared into her eyes. "Enjoy eternity alone, Elena." he turned and walked away from her.
~END OF CHAPTER ONE~
FOOTNOTES :
*"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places..." was a quote from Ernest Hemingway.
*The 'man who falls in a hole' story is from TWW #2.10 "Noel", narrated by Leo to Josh.
*This was supposed to be a one chapter story, but went on too long. Will publish the rest soon.
*Thank you for taking time to read this. Hope you like it enough to spare some words of encouragement.