Welcome friends. ::strokes his chin in his chair::. I know DBZ survivor
fics have been done before. ::smokes a cigar lightly:: and frankly they all
disgust me! O_o
But this.. This is .. O.o better than you may think! AHAHAHA.. and soooo on
.. This is the first chapter of this humor fic, and I hope ye who reads it,
enjoys it greatly ^_~
Note: (as usual) I do not own DBZ, I do not WISH to own DBZ. well. maybe if
you offered but down to business.. Where was i. ah yeah. ::kills you all::
( that's my um. action command if you haven't worked that out yet.
DBZ Survivor
Open scene.
::Goku is in a room with pizza boxes surrounding him::
Goku: Pizza! (singing) I love pizza, it's so tasty! (Also watching TV)
TV voice: brand new $7 dollar bill, yours for only $20 (call fast price doubles every minute spent on phone.)
Goku: ::eyes widen:: Oh my!! Wha!! Huh!!!
::Gasp::
Chi Chi!!!!!!!! Chi chi!!!
::Counts his fingers randomly staring in disbelief at the amazing offer.::
Chichi: ::rushes in with a hose pipe:: what is it Goku!? You haven't set your socks on fire again have you!?
Goku: DON'T TALK CRAZY WOMAN! You must be thinking of krillin ::sighs laughing comically to himself:: that crazy moronic moron, with his fake hair and lives on a small planet with a monkey and happens to be green. ANYWAYYY!.. ah yeahhhh, 7 dollar bill, the things I could buy with a 7 dollar bill..
::Screen goes blurry::
::Changes screen::
Goku: ::is prancing around with a huge grin on his face :: la la la laaa, 7-dollar bill!
::Walks in electronics shop::
::Tries to find a cable::
::Goes to counter::
Goku: umm, I would like to purchase this cable please!
Keeper: that'll be 7-dollars please sir.
Goku: ::smiles:: la la la la 7-dollar bill ::mumbles to himself::
Keeper: I'll suppose you'll be wanting 3 Dollars change from your 10 Dollar bill! huh!
Goku: NOPE! Cuz I gotta 7-dollar bill ::anime smile::
Keeper: wowwww
Goku: yesssssss, AAHAHAHAHA
::Takes the cable and prances out of the shop::
::Screen changes back::
Goku: la la la la 7-dollar billll
ChiChi: Goku!
Goku: la la la la
ChiChi: GOKU!
Goku: la wha!? LA WHAAAA!?
ChiChi: You slob! All you do is sit there watching TV and eat pizza! Well you leave me to eat left-over pizza! Go get a job!
Goku: whoa, im brooookeee! Im gunna go get a job!
::jumps up and walks out the house::
::whilst walking down the road::
Goku: imma gunna get myself a job, and not be a slob (singing), cause imma a slob, a big smelly, DUMBASS SLOB! ::falls to the floor crying::
::man walks by and drops a dollar:: Goku: don't patranise me!
::gets up::
::again starts walking down the road as if nothing had happened::
::hums a song on the way::
Goku: ahh this looks like a place of work!
::walks into a removal van::
::sits on a sofa::
::5 mins later::
Goku: ah this is easy enough
Goku: la la la la laaaa
::van starts moving::
Goku: ahhh! Earthquake!
::hides under a palm tree::
::1 hour later::
Goku: ah that was close!
::door opens, goku walks out::
Goku: now wheres my pay.? Huh.? Ahhhh welllll
::walks home::
Goku: HI chichi!
ChiChi: did you get a job?
Goku: yup!
ChicChi: well done.
Goku: yesss, I ammm wonderful ::anime smile::
ChiChi: have you got work tomorrow?
Goku: ::thinks:: .. Yesssss
ChiChi: ::sigh of relief::
::next day::
Goku: well im off to work
Chichi: ahhh ok, cya later
::goku is walking down the road::
goku: im not a slob! Cause I gotta job! Slobbity dobbity diddle doo!
::goku goes to the same spot as the removale van was::
Goku: ::looks puzzled::
Goku: wheres it gone? O.O' ::looks under a newspaper:: nope.
Goku: that's not fair they've made me . rut-un-tunt
Goku: that's it! I quit ! ::storms away::
Goku: well, suppose I better find another job.
::starts walking::
::walks into a pole::
::looks puzzled::
goku: hmmmm ::rubs head::
::a piece of paper falls off the pole and drops on Goku's head::
Goku: OWWWW! That really.. Um.. huuuurtttt o.o;
::his face comically turns serious at a very high speed:: (if you know your anime you may just about understand what that looks like)
Goku: ::looks at the paper::
Goku: hmmm, survivor eh!?
Goku:HMMMM!
------------------------------------------SURVIVOR--------- ------------------------ YOU! YES YOU! COULD BE IN FOR 1 MILLION DOLLARS!
(GOKU: who me!?)
JUST CALL 988-survivalness!
Goku: wooow, chichi is gunna be soo pleased with me!
::starts running to a public phone box::
::runs into it and falls to the ground::
Goku: ah whhhaaaa, whhhhaaaat the!? Ohhhh yeahhhh, I was ment to come to this what-cha-ma-call-it? O.o'
Random passer-by: phone box ya moron ::falls on the floor and rolls into the road then being hit by several cars::
Goku: yeahhhh that's it mr! Thanks!
::closes his eyes and rubs his head as he stands up to face the phone box looking confused::
Goku: what!? What the!?
::goku stares back and forth at the phone and a small wooden dog house next to it::
Goku: ::glances between the to looking confused::
::crawls inside::
Goku: what!? How the!? what the!? Theres no phone in here! ::grabs a dog as it bites his hand::
Goku: AHHH!
::dives out of the dog house::
Goku: that wasn't a phone! Ill be complaining to survivor about this!
::walks down the road (la la la) trips over a cactus::
::flies into the sky screaming::
Goku: la la la la la, imma going to somewhere!!! O.O' ::falls randomly into the reception of survivor::
Goku: HMMM! Phone! ::walks to the other side of the room away from the desk with a confused receptionist::
::picks it up and calls survivor::
::the phone rings a recpentio and the woman turns away from the reckage to pick it up::
Survivor receptionist(SR): ummm, hello this is survivor.
Goku: hi im goku!
SR: hello Goku. O.o
Goku: I wanna sign up for ..ummm. ..... Ummm....... HI MY NAMES GOKU!
SR: yesss goku. would you like to apply to join survivor by any chance?
Goku: yeahhhhh, my names goku ^_^
SR: ok goku. whats your full name?
Goku: hmmmmm, that's a tough one. one moment I have to think back to what my good friend vegeta told me one time ::anime grin::
::Blurr::
::goku and vegeta in a room::
vegeta: kakarot, don't look at me like that! Or ill rip your legs off and later on in life at some stage when your walking down the road fall over and a guy calls tou a moron and then rolls into the road and gets ran over by some amount of cars. um. yeah. that will happen O_o''. so. um. don't annoy me!
Goku: ::puppy dog eyes:: please vegetaaaaa, please play baseball with meeee!
Vegeta: FUCK YOUUUU!
::blurrs out::
Goku: FUCK YOU! ::Smiles::
SR: excuse me!
Goku: nahhh, that's the one
::blurrs out again::
Goku: say Vegeta whats my name again?
Krillin uuuh..goku im not vegeta, im kriilin..
::blurrs out::
Goku: im not vegeta im krillin....
Sr: ::frowns :: so your names not vegeta or goku ..its krillin??
Goku:man .what are you talkin' about.. and I though IIII was stupid! Aha-ha- ha! Boy was I wrong! Just look at you!
::slams phone down::
::walks up to the desk to the woman who is looking in a fairly confused state of mind::
Goku: Hi I'm Goku!
SR: ::looks up:: What the..
Goku: You know Son Goku. ::eyes her. waiting for a answer::
SON GOKU! OF THE SON FAMILY! You know my good friend vegeat used to always say, "a lil' love goes a long way". Wait. or was that barney.
SR: look. are you here to sign up for survivor?
Goku: Survivor? Oo'
SR: Yes the game. --'
Goku: ohhh.. OHHHH! Can I play!?
SR: yes now do you want to sign up?
Goku: Sure I guess. sounds like something involving my good friend vegeta.
SR: Ok, now what's your full name?
Goku: Gokuuuuu!. ummm
::thinks back::
Goku: Hey Vegeta oh buddy oh pal!
Vegeta: Shut up kakarot!
::back to reality::
Goku: Goku Kakarot ::nods::
SR: ok, now where do you live?
Goku: In my house ^_^
SR: what house? Oo'
Goku: oh, I see where your coming from. the house next to the dounut factory. :D
SR: ::knowing the houses number and road for some reason, writes it down::
Ok next sir, why would you like to join survivor?
Goku: factor 15 sun lotion ::nods::
SR: riiight
Goku: ::starts to walk out of the SR::
Goku: ok by the way I want all of my friends to come!
SR: OO'' errr, ok. can you fill information slips for them?
Goku: yup! They all live with me, they all like factor 15 sun tan lotion. And they're all called goku ^_^
SR: How many of them are there?
Goku: All my friends! ::walks out proudly::
::walks home::
Goku: hi ChiChi. I have good news!
ChiChi: ::gasp:: You have a promotion!?
Goku: Some would say that.. yesss.
ChiChi: you have!?
Goku: nah, I signed us all up for surivor!
ChiChi: was that one of those dreams you had which never actually happened? Oo
Goku: no time to talk chichi! I gotta go tell vegeta!
ChiChi: well take back his lawnmower
Goku: no time for that chichi, it's not on the way to the kitchen
Chichi: eh?
Goku: no time for that chichi! ::dives out a window::
::later at vegeta's::
Vegeta: ::strokes his chin::
I sense danger, Trunks have you stolen my pumpkin!?
Trunks: nah, just your hawiiann shirt.
Vegeta: MY HAWAIIAN SHIRT!?
Trunks: look dad a pumpkin!
Vegeta: ::turns round as trunks runs off::
Authors:- And that's all for now friends. chapter to should already be posted though :D
DBZ Survivor
Open scene.
::Goku is in a room with pizza boxes surrounding him::
Goku: Pizza! (singing) I love pizza, it's so tasty! (Also watching TV)
TV voice: brand new $7 dollar bill, yours for only $20 (call fast price doubles every minute spent on phone.)
Goku: ::eyes widen:: Oh my!! Wha!! Huh!!!
::Gasp::
Chi Chi!!!!!!!! Chi chi!!!
::Counts his fingers randomly staring in disbelief at the amazing offer.::
Chichi: ::rushes in with a hose pipe:: what is it Goku!? You haven't set your socks on fire again have you!?
Goku: DON'T TALK CRAZY WOMAN! You must be thinking of krillin ::sighs laughing comically to himself:: that crazy moronic moron, with his fake hair and lives on a small planet with a monkey and happens to be green. ANYWAYYY!.. ah yeahhhh, 7 dollar bill, the things I could buy with a 7 dollar bill..
::Screen goes blurry::
::Changes screen::
Goku: ::is prancing around with a huge grin on his face :: la la la laaa, 7-dollar bill!
::Walks in electronics shop::
::Tries to find a cable::
::Goes to counter::
Goku: umm, I would like to purchase this cable please!
Keeper: that'll be 7-dollars please sir.
Goku: ::smiles:: la la la la 7-dollar bill ::mumbles to himself::
Keeper: I'll suppose you'll be wanting 3 Dollars change from your 10 Dollar bill! huh!
Goku: NOPE! Cuz I gotta 7-dollar bill ::anime smile::
Keeper: wowwww
Goku: yesssssss, AAHAHAHAHA
::Takes the cable and prances out of the shop::
::Screen changes back::
Goku: la la la la 7-dollar billll
ChiChi: Goku!
Goku: la la la la
ChiChi: GOKU!
Goku: la wha!? LA WHAAAA!?
ChiChi: You slob! All you do is sit there watching TV and eat pizza! Well you leave me to eat left-over pizza! Go get a job!
Goku: whoa, im brooookeee! Im gunna go get a job!
::jumps up and walks out the house::
::whilst walking down the road::
Goku: imma gunna get myself a job, and not be a slob (singing), cause imma a slob, a big smelly, DUMBASS SLOB! ::falls to the floor crying::
::man walks by and drops a dollar:: Goku: don't patranise me!
::gets up::
::again starts walking down the road as if nothing had happened::
::hums a song on the way::
Goku: ahh this looks like a place of work!
::walks into a removal van::
::sits on a sofa::
::5 mins later::
Goku: ah this is easy enough
Goku: la la la la laaaa
::van starts moving::
Goku: ahhh! Earthquake!
::hides under a palm tree::
::1 hour later::
Goku: ah that was close!
::door opens, goku walks out::
Goku: now wheres my pay.? Huh.? Ahhhh welllll
::walks home::
Goku: HI chichi!
ChiChi: did you get a job?
Goku: yup!
ChicChi: well done.
Goku: yesss, I ammm wonderful ::anime smile::
ChiChi: have you got work tomorrow?
Goku: ::thinks:: .. Yesssss
ChiChi: ::sigh of relief::
::next day::
Goku: well im off to work
Chichi: ahhh ok, cya later
::goku is walking down the road::
goku: im not a slob! Cause I gotta job! Slobbity dobbity diddle doo!
::goku goes to the same spot as the removale van was::
Goku: ::looks puzzled::
Goku: wheres it gone? O.O' ::looks under a newspaper:: nope.
Goku: that's not fair they've made me . rut-un-tunt
Goku: that's it! I quit ! ::storms away::
Goku: well, suppose I better find another job.
::starts walking::
::walks into a pole::
::looks puzzled::
goku: hmmmm ::rubs head::
::a piece of paper falls off the pole and drops on Goku's head::
Goku: OWWWW! That really.. Um.. huuuurtttt o.o;
::his face comically turns serious at a very high speed:: (if you know your anime you may just about understand what that looks like)
Goku: ::looks at the paper::
Goku: hmmm, survivor eh!?
Goku:HMMMM!
------------------------------------------SURVIVOR--------- ------------------------ YOU! YES YOU! COULD BE IN FOR 1 MILLION DOLLARS!
(GOKU: who me!?)
JUST CALL 988-survivalness!
Goku: wooow, chichi is gunna be soo pleased with me!
::starts running to a public phone box::
::runs into it and falls to the ground::
Goku: ah whhhaaaa, whhhhaaaat the!? Ohhhh yeahhhh, I was ment to come to this what-cha-ma-call-it? O.o'
Random passer-by: phone box ya moron ::falls on the floor and rolls into the road then being hit by several cars::
Goku: yeahhhh that's it mr! Thanks!
::closes his eyes and rubs his head as he stands up to face the phone box looking confused::
Goku: what!? What the!?
::goku stares back and forth at the phone and a small wooden dog house next to it::
Goku: ::glances between the to looking confused::
::crawls inside::
Goku: what!? How the!? what the!? Theres no phone in here! ::grabs a dog as it bites his hand::
Goku: AHHH!
::dives out of the dog house::
Goku: that wasn't a phone! Ill be complaining to survivor about this!
::walks down the road (la la la) trips over a cactus::
::flies into the sky screaming::
Goku: la la la la la, imma going to somewhere!!! O.O' ::falls randomly into the reception of survivor::
Goku: HMMM! Phone! ::walks to the other side of the room away from the desk with a confused receptionist::
::picks it up and calls survivor::
::the phone rings a recpentio and the woman turns away from the reckage to pick it up::
Survivor receptionist(SR): ummm, hello this is survivor.
Goku: hi im goku!
SR: hello Goku. O.o
Goku: I wanna sign up for ..ummm. ..... Ummm....... HI MY NAMES GOKU!
SR: yesss goku. would you like to apply to join survivor by any chance?
Goku: yeahhhhh, my names goku ^_^
SR: ok goku. whats your full name?
Goku: hmmmmm, that's a tough one. one moment I have to think back to what my good friend vegeta told me one time ::anime grin::
::Blurr::
::goku and vegeta in a room::
vegeta: kakarot, don't look at me like that! Or ill rip your legs off and later on in life at some stage when your walking down the road fall over and a guy calls tou a moron and then rolls into the road and gets ran over by some amount of cars. um. yeah. that will happen O_o''. so. um. don't annoy me!
Goku: ::puppy dog eyes:: please vegetaaaaa, please play baseball with meeee!
Vegeta: FUCK YOUUUU!
::blurrs out::
Goku: FUCK YOU! ::Smiles::
SR: excuse me!
Goku: nahhh, that's the one
::blurrs out again::
Goku: say Vegeta whats my name again?
Krillin uuuh..goku im not vegeta, im kriilin..
::blurrs out::
Goku: im not vegeta im krillin....
Sr: ::frowns :: so your names not vegeta or goku ..its krillin??
Goku:man .what are you talkin' about.. and I though IIII was stupid! Aha-ha- ha! Boy was I wrong! Just look at you!
::slams phone down::
::walks up to the desk to the woman who is looking in a fairly confused state of mind::
Goku: Hi I'm Goku!
SR: ::looks up:: What the..
Goku: You know Son Goku. ::eyes her. waiting for a answer::
SON GOKU! OF THE SON FAMILY! You know my good friend vegeat used to always say, "a lil' love goes a long way". Wait. or was that barney.
SR: look. are you here to sign up for survivor?
Goku: Survivor? Oo'
SR: Yes the game. --'
Goku: ohhh.. OHHHH! Can I play!?
SR: yes now do you want to sign up?
Goku: Sure I guess. sounds like something involving my good friend vegeta.
SR: Ok, now what's your full name?
Goku: Gokuuuuu!. ummm
::thinks back::
Goku: Hey Vegeta oh buddy oh pal!
Vegeta: Shut up kakarot!
::back to reality::
Goku: Goku Kakarot ::nods::
SR: ok, now where do you live?
Goku: In my house ^_^
SR: what house? Oo'
Goku: oh, I see where your coming from. the house next to the dounut factory. :D
SR: ::knowing the houses number and road for some reason, writes it down::
Ok next sir, why would you like to join survivor?
Goku: factor 15 sun lotion ::nods::
SR: riiight
Goku: ::starts to walk out of the SR::
Goku: ok by the way I want all of my friends to come!
SR: OO'' errr, ok. can you fill information slips for them?
Goku: yup! They all live with me, they all like factor 15 sun tan lotion. And they're all called goku ^_^
SR: How many of them are there?
Goku: All my friends! ::walks out proudly::
::walks home::
Goku: hi ChiChi. I have good news!
ChiChi: ::gasp:: You have a promotion!?
Goku: Some would say that.. yesss.
ChiChi: you have!?
Goku: nah, I signed us all up for surivor!
ChiChi: was that one of those dreams you had which never actually happened? Oo
Goku: no time to talk chichi! I gotta go tell vegeta!
ChiChi: well take back his lawnmower
Goku: no time for that chichi, it's not on the way to the kitchen
Chichi: eh?
Goku: no time for that chichi! ::dives out a window::
::later at vegeta's::
Vegeta: ::strokes his chin::
I sense danger, Trunks have you stolen my pumpkin!?
Trunks: nah, just your hawiiann shirt.
Vegeta: MY HAWAIIAN SHIRT!?
Trunks: look dad a pumpkin!
Vegeta: ::turns round as trunks runs off::
Authors:- And that's all for now friends. chapter to should already be posted though :D