Of Hopes, and Dreams, and Wishes
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear
The trouble, it might drag you down
If you get lost you can always be found
Home (Phillip Phillips)
I shiver against the December night air. Or was it morning by now? I can't exactly say what time it is right now, which is a very bad thing. I have been dozing on and off for the past few hours, after relocating here from my snug and cozy bed back in the mansion. Why did I even think the P&E barn would make it any easier to sleep?
Maybe it was the way the barn always smelled fresh and of hay, a phenomenon that even Liz couldn't understand. Or the way it would creak in the wind, but never sway. Or maybe just because even though everything around it changed, it stayed the same. Constant, everlasting.
By now a fog has settled over the grounds. I suppose it should be early morning by now. At least get a few solid hours of sleep. I think to myself. I snuggle down between two bales of hay, trying to shield myself from the frigid breeze but also sitting up enough to be able to see out the open second floor loft door, which frames a view of nearly the entire back lawn, completed by the tiny sliver of the lake I see in the right corner.
I'm completely wrapped up in the scent of hay and the fog which is creeping into the loft, settling over everything with a thin sheet of dew. I realize that come morning I will be completely soaked and stiff, but I can't bring myself to move. I try to stay in my quiet reverie of listening to the wind and the owls calling our low, mournful tunes for as long as possible, maybe long enough that I can fall asleep before another troubling thought comes along to ruin my splendor.
I'm about to drop off into a dreamlike state when I hear someone walking across the lawn. At first I'm puzzled. It's not the footsteps of a civilian, because they are quiet, deliberate steps, the same kind I have been taught to walk with. But the person walking is making no move to completely silence them either. I see the figure come into view through the door, and is bearing a large lump in his hands. It's obviously a man judging from his size, probably one of the teachers, telling me I will freeze to death if I do not go back inside right now, and what was I thinking being outside at night without another person! Especially after hours, they will say, and that I am are lucky they are not sending me back to my mother right now.
Which I will obviously see right through, because someone will have been watching me this entire time, either through a video camera or maybe someone is out there, braving the cold just to ensure my safety. Whoever it is, is probably fed up that I haven't just given into the cold and went inside yet. We do have to keep up appearances after all.
As the figure draws nearer and nearer, the thought that it's not a teacher, but someone with an entirely different incentive flits across my mind quickly, but it soon dies away. He is walking directly in the low light cast by the lamp posts and is making no move to be stealthy. Maybe if I pretend I am asleep they will just leave me alone.
Who am I kidding, these are spies, and I just don't have the energy that it will take to fool a fully capable spy.
I'm still pondering if there's any way I can convince the teacher to just leave me be, when he enters the first floor of the barn, and heads directly for the stairs leading up here, at least that's what I can gather from just listening. As he makes his way up the old creaking stairs, making no move to silence his heavy footfalls, he suddenly comes into a sliver of light filtering through the door I was previously gazing through.
For just a second, I saw a flash of green eyes and dark brown, closely cropped hair on the sides, that is taller on the top. It takes a moment in my mind to register, whether I blame it on the fact that I have hardly slept all night, or the cold is slowly freezing the cranks and gears inside my brain, it doesn't really matter.
My heart stops beating altogether, and when it starts up again, it's beating double time. Can't the universe just leave me at peace? Why does everything have to be so damn complicated?
It's not like I want to stay away from Zach, or avoid him, but can't I just relax tonight, let the cold air take over, and numb everything over, whether physically or emotionally? I really don't have the energy it takes to deal with Zach, and that definitely takes energy - physically and emotionally. Not to mention I probably look like a disaster, with my thickest (and therefore ugliest) pair of flannel pants and all my hair spilling out of my woolen hat. But then again, these situations always have a way of finding me, so I shouldn't be too surprised that the guy that I'm sorta-kinda-maybe-dating-but-we-don't-talk-about-it-because-its-complicated sees me looking my most ridiculous.
And you would think I would get over it - seeing him all the time now. In class or across the hallway. But I haven't, and I don't think I ever will. And maybe that's not such a bad thing.
Maybe he's been standing there for just a moment, or maybe he's been waiting minutes, which, again, is not a good thing that I keep losing track of time. I look up at him, and I mutter a timid, "hey," and offer him a small smile. I can't help smiling at him whenever he's around.
"Hi," and then he grins back, which makes my stomach do little flips and my grin grows wider still. The large lump he was carrying in his hands is a blanket, which he is laying on the ground right now.
"You can um, lay there, if you want. I'll be back in a sec," I frown, confused at why he was here and then is leaving. He walks out of my line of vision, and I hear a creaking sound coming from above me as I begin to try to wake up my sleeping fingers and toes. I look up and smile, realizing what he is doing.
"You know, this is kind of cliché Zach, even for you." I call out, even though the creaking has stopped. He chuckles softly as he walks over and lays beside me on the blanket, pulling it up over our feet so it lays just below our waists. I look up at the stars through the skylight he just made by opening the trapdoor that leads to the roof. I smile, remembering the rumors I heard about last year when some of the seniors snuck out here at night with other Blackthorne boys, to stargaze. His hand finds mine, and we lay in a comfortable silence for a while. While before they were trembling from the cold, his warm hands still mine and he draws circles with his thumb on the back of my hand.
"So why did you come up here? I thought you were a teacher at first, telling me to go inside." I say, still gazing up at the clear night, but looking at him out of the corner of my eye.
"Well, somebody had to come and check on you." He said and then shrugged. I scoffed, and said "Why do they think I need to be constantly watched!" Although I already knew the answer.
"You know, it was Macey, Liz, and Bex, who decided to watch you like this." He says.
"What? Then why are you here? I didn't think they would trust you," I muttered the last part under my breath, but of course he catches every word.
Why should I expect any less?
I see a look of hurt on his face, and then it's replaced with one of anger. "You should know Gallagher Girl, that I would do anything to save you. But you know what, whatever, we obviously aren't on the same page," And then moves to get up. He's almost standing when I realize we are talking about two different things.
"Zach, of course I trust you one hundred percent" I blurt out.
"Then why would you say-" but I cut him off with "Just forget it, okay? Please come and lay down again, it's so cold," I probably sound like I'm pleading, but I hope he just drops what I said. He doesn't lie down though, instead he's still half standing there, with a half angry confused look, and after a moment it slowly turns into a devilish grin. He's looking at me in a way that makes me squirm, to want to shrink into nothing.
"Oh, you mean that kind of trust. No, I don't really know why they would trust me at all either then," And he slowly lowering himself onto me, while my breath is getting faster and faster and my eyes are wide. He's looking at me like I'm his prey, and I do not like it one bit. His lips finally find mine and we are transported to another world, without fears, or thoughts, or anything. Just us.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Breaking the comfortable silence, I turn my head towards Zach, my cheek brushing against the flannel blanket he brought into the loft. The sun has not yet made its appearance, but the sky has turned a faint rosy pink, though it is still dark.
"I'm thinking about you, actually." He says, smirk appearing on his gorgeous lips.
"I don't believe you." I say, sticking my nose in the air and turning my head to the other side playfully.
"No, really. I was thinking about the first time I met you." He says, wrapping his arms around me to keep off the December chill. "I was thinking, what if Grant never pointed you out to me?"
"Mmmmhhhhmmm. Sure." I smile as I say it, remembering my junior year, and trying to block out all the memories that follow.
"Seriously, he said 'Look at that girl over there! She's gorgeous dude.' I immediately look to where he motions, and I spot the most beautifully breathtaking girl I had ever seen. Little did I know that we were talking about two different girls, but all the same." Zach ends, whispering into my neck. I turn so I am facing him, and say,
"Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Goode." I say exasperatedly, knowing we will have the same old argument. Zach just shrugs and says,
"It's the truth. I would never lie about something like that. I wish you would just see that," He says to me, staring deep into my eyes. He pulls my hands up to his lips, and places the gentlest of kisses on them. He pauses, and we stay like that for a few moments, boring into each other's eyes, daring each other to be the first to cave in.
He's the first to pull in for a kiss, and then I, but the following are just a jumble of sensations and feelings coursing through us. Everything just feels so right when I'm with him. I am his, and he is mine, that's just how it is.
I pull away for a moment, and he starts trailing kisses down my jaw bone and neck, only pausing and making his way back up when my sweatshirt gets in the way.
"I don't think it was a coincidence that we met, Zach" I exhale, trying to gather my thoughts, and nearly failing because of his torturous teasing on my neck. He only mumbles something indecipherable and I take that as a queue to continue speaking.
"I mean, what are the odds? That the son of a high member of the organization that is out to get me is assigned to trail me in a CoveOps." I take Zach's head in my hands, trying to get a look into his eyes.
"Yeah, I guess that it does seem a bit fishy, but I think it's something more."
"Like what?" I ask, trying to see his reasoning. What other factors am I missing? What piece of information have I left out in my calculations?
"Don't you think its fate that led us together? I can hardly believe that by chance, my soul mate is the same girl that my mother is out to find. Whatever is going to happen between us was meant to happen." I almost roll my eyes at this, it's so cheesy. But the girl part of me is almost dancing around and squealing because I am so happy. Soul mate.
"So you're saying that we are destined to be together? It kind of sounds like a twisted version of Romeo and Juliet." I immediately regret saying that, because we both know how that story ends.
"I hope we have a happy ending," I whisper. "Like in all those Disney movies. Even the bad guys turn good sometimes."
"I don't think that's how our story ends, Cam." The sun is finally peeking over the horizon, and the barn swallows have finally awoken and are busy flitting around, chirping.
"Then how does our story end, Prince Charming?"
"That's the thing Gallagher Girl, I don't think it's going to end," I just smile.
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home
A/N: So um, sorry for the long hiatus... hehe. idk when i'll post next, but this fandom is kind of dying out anyways... so i don't really know where I stand here anymore. send me prompts i guess? i really don't have any inspiration for these guys anymore, maybe its time to just ship (literally lol). pm me? imma lonely person :P k byeee