I've had this little thing typed up as a part of another story (one which will probably never be posted, :p), so I fished it out and did major editing to it. The results are this crack-ish fic laid before you on this computer screen. Some of you might think this is a bit OOC, but I could totally see Max doing this if she was hyped up on cookies and feeling safe and secure. Sorry if you wanted a bit of romance or whatever tossed in to this, but this was purely for laughs! Enjoy! =D
It was a fairly quiet Sunday afternoon at Anne's house in Virginia. Actually, I lied; there was a pretty intense DDR dance-off going on. Gazzy was busting a move alongside Iggy, each battling to receive the coveted title of Dance Master. Fang had flat-out refused to participate (Party-pooper that he is). I had been doing fairly well against Angel until Anne had opened the oven doors and released the tantalizing smell of chocolate chip cookies into the house. Both Angel and I had abandoned our mats, rushing over to be the first to taste heaven, fresh from the oven. Though I had beaten Angel to the pan, being the good older bird-kid I was I bestowed the gooey cookie into her little hands. I was rewarded with a chocolaty kiss and a swell of love for the youngest member of my Flock. While the cookie rush had been going on, Gazzy had challenged Iggy to a dance-off, eager to obtain Dance Master status. Believe it or not, even though Iggy couldn't see the scrolling arrows he was beating Gazzy's sorry butt by a landslide. I think it had something to do with Angel projecting the T.V. screen into his head.
If you were wondering where a certain brown-skinned blabbermouthed bird-kid was, wonder no longer. To everyone's surprise (most of all Nudge), she had been asked on a date! A real, honest-to-goodness date! When she had fixed me with a pair of bambi eyes (backed-up by Angel – a killing one-two blow), I had set her free to venture into the world of teenage relationships. Out of all of us, Nudge was the one who most deserved to be asked out. She had enlisted Anne's help in picking out the perfect outfit. (I was a little miffed she hadn't asked me, until I remembered I had the fashion sense of a two-year-old.) Finally, after two hours of nervous primping this morning and waking us all up with her fretting, she was off, clutching the arm of a cute Latino boy. Now the rest of us were biding our time with video-games, waiting until Nudge got back to grill her on what had happened.
As Iggy finished his last step, twirling around with a flourish and grinning smugly at Gazzy, who had come up to me pouting at his loss and thus igniting my protective instincts (to cheer him up, I had been shoving cookies in his face – it worked), Nudge burst into the house.
"!" Nudge squealed, running up to me, grabbing my hands, and twirling me around, "It was so much FUN!"
Nudge released me, gliding over to the large leather couch and collapsing into it with a sigh. "Marcos was soooooooo nice! First, he took me out to this really cool movie about this giant evil robot that was, like, threatening the world. Except, you know, the robot wasn't really evil and this little boy found it and tried to hide it, except that was really hard because the robot was, like, giant, you know! So then he, like, got the help of this sculpting dude to hide the robot in this junk-yard. Like, disguise it as junk or a statue, I forgot which. How can I forget something after seeing the movie so recently? I dunno, I guess my brain's just funny like that. I think it would be so cool to be a sculptor! Or a fashion designer. Oh, that reminds me! Marcos bought me this cute little purse thing! It's adorable, and he says it has authentic Spanish symbols on it. I just love it! I love him! Actually, no, I like him. I don't know if its love yet. Can you have, like, instant love? Like instant noodles. Ramen noodles, mmm. Now I'm hungry! HEY, COOKIES! I WANT ONE!" Nudge abruptly ended her rant just as Iggy was moving to clamp a hand over her mouth. Instead, she stopped her talk with globs of gooey cookies, sighing in ecstasy as the flavors ignited her taste buds.
"You were always saying how cookies were the best thing in the universe, and at first I didn't quite believe you." Iggy stated, turning towards me and 'looking' at me with his blank blue eyes. "But if they can shut Nudge up? Man, these things are godly!" Iggy appreciatively picked up a cookie, marveling at its awesomeness for a couple of seconds before stuffing it in his mouth.
"I know, right?" I mumbled, spraying cookie crumbs everywhere, "Cookies are heaven-sent. Here Fang, you have to have one!" I exclaimed, swallowing the cookie I had been eating and grabbing two more. One I shoved in Fang's mouth (it was open, as he was about to respond to my statement) and shoving the other in my own. Glaring at me, Fang chewed, swallowed, promptly grabbed another cookie, and – still glaring at me – proceeded to devour a second, and then a third.
Laughing, Anne grabbed one for herself. In all the chaos of Nudge's arrival, I had forgotten about her for a moment.
"I'm glad your date was fun, Nudge!" Looking at the nearly empty flour and chocolate chip bags, she murmured, "Huh, it looks like we're almost out of cookie materials." My hand stopped mid-cookie-grab and I swear my heart skipped a beat. The rest of the flock covered their ears, preparing for my outburst, but Anne just looked at my frozen stance in confusion.
"WHAT!" I screeched, shock etched on my every feature, "Nononononononononono! Anne, you have to go out and buy more! Here, car keys!" I shoved the keys in her hands and began guiding her towards the door to the garage.
"If we do not continue to make cookies, the cookie gods will become upset at our disloyalty and the world will fall to ruin! Go, go, go! We must keep the world alive through cookies!" I watched in satisfaction as a bemused Anne drove away, headed towards the store.
"You know, if that was all you had to do to save the world, I'd think our job would be a lot easier." Gazzy commented, smiling up at me with shining blue eyes.
Laughing, I ruffled his hair and remarked, "I wish. But cookies do help fuel me. Everyone in the world should get together, bake a giant cookie, and share it. I'd like to see anyone try to argue after that!" I smiled in satisfaction at my simple resolution to all the world's problems and hunger.
"Hey Nudge," Angel suddenly spoke up, her sweet voice interrupting my fantasies of giant cookies, "How was your date? I know you already talked about it, and it sounded good, but I want to know more!" A devilish idea entered my mind, and I turned towards Nudge with an evil grin.
"Yeah, Nudge!" My voice was syrupy, and Nudge backed up a bit at my sudden change in attitude, "Did you and Marcos…" I paused for effect, wiggling my eyebrows at Nudge as I continued, baring my shark-smile at her, "Kiss?"
Nudge gasped, a blush darkening her cheeks.
"N-no…" Nudge replied, obviously embarrassed, "It was just a first date! I mean, I don't know Marcos well enough to- to-" Her voice quieted drastically as she spoke the last words, "To kiss him."
"Oh-ho-ho!" I replied, relishing Nudge's actions, "Has little Nudgey-poo lost her nerve? Cat got your tongue? Hawk got your tongue?" I grinned at my little joke.
"Max-" Fang began, his voice exasperated.
"Hold on, Fang-y, I'm not done with her yet!" I hooted, continuing on in my torture of Nudge. I could feel daggers piercing the back of my head as Fang glared at me for turning his name 'cure.' The cold feeling the glare brought with it caused me to pause and reconsider my next statement.
"Actually, I'm glad he didn't kiss you. I would've had to beat him up if he'd overstepped his boundaries like that, without me even talking to him first." I took on a no-nonsense tone, my mood turning serious and protective.
"Max!" Nudge whined, "You sound just like a-" Nudge paused, and tears began to gather in her eyes as she whispered the rest of her sentence. "Just like a Mom." Then Nudge was clutching me and bawling into my shirt. I stroked her hair and whispered soothing noises to her.
"Aw, sweetie!" A sudden inspiration stuck me, and a huge grin worked its way onto my face, "Here, I know what'll get that smile back on your face! Angel, where's that CD?"
A grin split Angel's face, and she scampered upstairs, no doubt having read my mind and figured out what I was going to do. She was down in a flash, clutching a CD to her chest so no one could see what it was. I knew though, and I gave her the thumbs up as she scurried over to the radio, putting the shiny disk in. The rest of the Flock stared at Angel and me in confusion, but Angel gave me a double thumbs-up and pressed the play button.
Putting on my best Jamaican accent, I grinned at Nudge. "First, we gotta create da mood! Percussion!" I wiggled my eyebrows as a soft, Caribbean-sounding beat filled the house.
"Strings!" I cheered, and a chorus of violins sounded from the large speakers, imitating the natural sound of crickets rubbing their hind legs together.
"Winds!" Some woodwind instrument (a flute, maybe?) began to play softly, sounding like the wind rushing through a cluster of reeds growing beside a riverbank
"Words!" And I began singing.
There you sees her
Sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
I began walking around Nudge, her startled eyes drying and following my movements. I grinned at her, continuing my song.
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl
I winked at Nudge, and started sway-dancing to the rhythm of the song. Out of the many Disney movies, there was something about The Little Mermaid that spoke to me. Maybe it was the fact that the main character, Ariel, was part-fish. We part-animals had to stick together! At any rate, Nudge had stopped crying and was blushing from head to toe, and Fang and Iggy were giving me strange looks. Gazzy looked a bit weird-ed out and Angel was beaming.
Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you, too
There is one way to ask her
I wiggled my hips at Nudge, and she gasped.
"Stop it!" She cried, but she was laughing too hard for the words to have much effect, so I continued on.
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl
My Jamaican accent had now progressed from a slight hint of Caribbean roots to a full-on Sebastian-the-lobster accent, and I was pretty darn proud of it! Gazzy was laughing over how flustered Nudge was, and he had begun to clumsily dance with me.
"Sing with me now!" I shouted, and Angel eagerly jumped up to dance beside me and her brother. Although I doubted Gazzy would join the song, my little princess loved all the Disney princesses and would most likely raise her melodious voice with me. Ariel was special to Angel, too. She had even proclaimed her fake name to be Ariel! Singing this song was her destiny. Together, hands joined, we took up the chorus.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh, my
Look like the boy too shy
He ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain't that sad
Ain't it shame, too bad
He gonna miss the girl
To my amazement, even Gazzy had joined in the on the "Sha-la-la-la-la-la's", and I think I could get Iggy to do the same in the next chorus. I wasn't so sure about Fang. Singing didn't really seem to be his thing, but I was gonna try! Nudge had begun to grin, and I would do everything in my power to keep that smile on her face. It suited her so much better than tears.
Now's your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy, you better do it soon
No time will be better
Angel had, on my signal, become the little green fishes I liked to call the "Ya-ya" fish. She was in the background, adding "Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya's" to my melody.
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until ya kiss the girl
I made a kissy face at Nudge and she weakly hit my arm in protest, but she was laughing too hard for the punch to have any effect on me. Her laughter encouraged me, and I broke into the chorus at full volume, my smile nearly splitting my face in two.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You wanna kiss the girl
Iggy, to my amusement, joined in on the "Whoa-whoa's," his deep voice adding to the chorus. Nudge was crying again now, but for a much different reason than her previous bout of tears.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Float along
And listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Music play
Do what the music say
You gotta kiss the girl
Everyone was surprised when Fang quietly joined in on the "Sha-la-la-la-la-la" part of the chorus, but no one faltered in their singing. Nudge stopped giggling for a second to look at him, and then threw her arms around him in a hug. Blushing faintly, Fang put up with it for a few seconds before extracting himself from Nudge's grip. Instead, she latched herself on to me, crying and laughing into my shirt and thoroughly making a mess of her carefully prepped hair. The date was over; it wasn't like she'd need her hair to be gorgeous in front of her family.
I mouthed a quick "Thank you" at Fang, which he accepted with a smile and a nod, and then continued on in my Disney sing-along.
You've got to Kiss the girl
Why don't you Kiss the girl
Go on and Kiss the girl
"Go on and kiss the girl!" I cried, throwing my arms up in the air as Nudge drew back from me and retreated to the couch, her legs (shaky from laughing) unable to support her anymore.
With an extravagant bow, I ended the song. Angel bowed along right next to me; she had sung over half the song and deserved it. Still laughing, Nudge began clapping. The boys took it up, and soon Angel and I were facing a standing ovation.
"Good job sweetie!" I smiled at Angel and gave her hand a squeeze. She smiled right back at me and pulled me down so she could give me a kiss on the cheek.
"You too, Max! You sounded really good!" I blushed at Angel's complement. Her comment was met with a round of agreements, causing me to blush all the harder.
"Thanks, Max!" Nudge cried, giving me another hug.
Turning towards her, I joked, "That's the song I'll be singing to the boy I approve for you when he's being a bit slow on the intake. If I don't approve of the boy, I will not be singing anything, as I will be kicking said-boy out of a five mile radius of you." I nodded my head, confirming the fact that I would be following Nudge around on all her dates to make sure no boy tried to pull one on her.
Mock-groaning, Nudge tried to hide her smile. "So what, you're gonna be my personal date-stalker? Gee, thanks Max!"
Grinning widely, I replied "Date-stalker Maximum Ride, at your service!" Of course, Anne chose that exact moment to walk in, holding a bag of cookie-making items in one hand and her car keys in the other. I think she was a bit surprised at my sudden statement.
"What," She asked, a look of horror mixed with surprise on her face, "Is a date-stalker?"
The Flock and I couldn't answer her question though, as we were too busy cracking up to say much of anything besides a few wheezy syllables.
Life is good when you have classic Disney on your side.