Red Eyes on Orange Horizons
There he is. That boy. The one who filled my dreams and my mind for 6 whole years. Just as I get over him there he is walking back into my life.
"Urgh,
of all gigs you bring me to, it has to be a fucking Bring Me The
Horizon one doesn't it." I said to my so called best friend Rob,
he knew Oli but maybe he hadn't realised it was him up there, I
admit that he looked a little different but to me he was still my
Oli.
"Why what's wrong?" He asked.
"Does the name Bring Me The Horizon not ring a bell to you?"
Horror suddenly took over his face as he realised.
"That's
Oli?…shit of course it is!" He said as he pointed to Sheffield's
own, heavily tattooed screamo front man.
"Uh huh, it sure is
Rob."
"Shit! I'm sorry, I didn't know, I didn't
recognise him and when I heard the band name, sure it sounded
familiar but I forgot it was these guys. Do you want to leave?"
"Nah,
why should I let Oliver Scott Sykes ruin my night." Little did I
know I would soon be wishing I had taken Rob's offer.
The night passed by and I desperately tried to look like I wasn't enjoying it.
The bands set finished as I went to the bar for another alcoholic beverage, damn I think I needed many as I was here in such close proximity to him.
"Still
like alcohol I see." His breath brushed the back of my neck. I
guess he was even closer than I thought.
"Yeah, and I can STILL
handle it better than you Sykes."
"Very true, I'm still no
better." I turned to face him. "How have you been Miles?" He
asked using his old nickname for me, and with what looked like a hint
of pain in his face. Or had I just imagined that? Was that how I
wanted him to feel when he saw me. Pain and regret for ever leaving
me.
"I'm good, although I hadn't expected to be here this
evening, Rob's idea."
"Ohh…" He looked slightly
deflated, hmm could that be Miley- 2 / Oli-0 ?? I think so. I guess
it sorta hurt to upset him but he caused me a lot of pain when he
ended it so I don't see why I can't hurt him.
"So, did you
and Rob hook up after I left?" I laughed, he looked slightly
confused.
"Unless I've had a sex change and am called Miles as
in a guy. He came out of the closet a few years back, just after you
left."
"No way, seriously?"
"Yeah, I'm glad he let it
out, he had been bottling that secret up for 18 years, pretty hard
going I would say. But its true what people say."
"Huh?"
"Every
girl wants a gay best friend, I think I want my gay best friend more
than a normal lad, at least you wouldn't have to worry about them
getting with one of your girl mates, although the guy ones have to be
locked up when he's around." I laughed.
"Yeah I imagine."
He smiled, the smile that still makes my heart swell, the one that
made me fall in love with him 6 years ago.
"I'm glad you two
are still friends though, I didn't want you two to end up like me
and you."
"I know… you do understand why I couldn't keep
in touch with you though don't you?" He nodded.
"It would
have been too hard on us Ols, I just couldn't do it."
"I
know, I've missed you though, more than I should have, it really
did hurt to let you go but I had to. It would have been unfair on us
because I've hardly been in Sheffield."
"I understand, I've
just missed you that's all."
"You know, you look more
beautiful than you did four years ago."
"Oli…" I said with
tears starting to fill up my eyes.
"No, it's true." He said
tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"Oli don't…I'm
sorry I can't do this." I ran out of the Sheffield Leadmill.. my
most visited venue, I used to always come to give with Oli here, it
was out special place. I leant again the wall sobbing, thinking about
old times and about how he can be so casual and all over me again as
soon as he see's me.
"I can't do this, I can't do this, I
can't do this." I kept repeating.
"MILEY!" Rob said
hugging me, "What happened?"
"I still love him Rob, he made
me realise it tonight. I'm not over him, I've just been kidding
myself…I never will be over him. I can't do this!"
"Oh
Miley, I'm so fucking sorry for bringing you here. I wish we had
left when I found it was him. I'm sorry for putting you through
this."
"He
kept bringing up old times and about how he missed me and how
beautiful I look after 4 years. Why Rob? Why hurt me like this
again."
"I honestly don't know sweetie, he's probably not
over you. He didn't want to end it in the first place but it was
his only option, he couldn't keep a relationship going while he was
jet setting over the world and trying to get his band sorted. It was
his only option, to prevent further hurt on you both."
"Well
that idea went to pot, I've never been so hurt in my
life."
"MILES!" I knew it was Oli, he is the only one I
allow calling me that.
"Oli, I don't know whether it's a
good idea you speak to her."
"Baby, I'm sorry. I never
wanted all this to happen." I stood up right in front of him.
"Yeah
well it did, you broke my fucking heart. No wait, you ripped it out
and stamped all over it, I missed you so much and I tried as hard as
I possibly could to get over you but guess what? It never happened…
I'm still insanely and madly in love with you!" I yelled thumping
his chest. He pulled me close and held me.
"It hurt so much , so
much." I sobbed into his shoulder.
"Oh baby, never in a
million years did I want to hurt you, you are the most important
person to me, all I ever wanted to do was love you but I had to let
you go. I'm so sorry. I love you so much Miley, these past few
years have been hell without you and this can't continue. I know
this is so much to ask and I'd understand if you hit me for even
asking but I need to know. Will you give old Oli a second chance?
Will you let us try and make us work?"
"You seriously mean
that?"
"I do, I really do."
"Then, I want to make this
happen, I don't ever want to lose you ever again Oli."
"You
never did lose me, I was always here." He said putting his hand
over my heart.
"I love you Oliver Scott Sykes."
"I love
you too Miley Brown." He said leaning forward and kissing me.
I
guess tonight wasn't a total waste of time, I'm so happy that I
got my 'Olleh' back =)
I feel complete again! 3 =')
