Disclaimer: I don't own any Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Opening Doors
"Would you do it again?" that's all the therapist ever asked her. It seemed to be the only question that people want answered. No matter how much time has passed she still wonders if they still think about it. After all, they do all freeze if she goes near the cargo hold. It's been months and she wonders if they'll every stop. She wonders what they think. Why they think she did what she did. Did they think it was just for Fitz or for them as well. She knows she shouldn't feel bad for what she did and she doesn't. She doubts she ever will, but something about that question bothered her. She didn't know if it was the fact that they were questioning her loyalty to the team or frankly that she doesn't have an answer. Its not that she doesn't what to answer it's that she is not doesn't know what to say. How do you say that you would give up everything, even your life for people you just met and not come off as crazy? She also can't stop but wonder what if Ward hadn't been there? She knows she's not the only one who thinks about it. She's caught Fitz numerable times staring at those doors with such despair in his eyes that it just breaks her heart. She knows that he blames himself for her jumping. She's tried to convince him that in no way, shape, or form was this remotely his fault but he doesn't listen. The odds are he never will. She hears him at night too. When she can't sleep, which is most nights, she hears him thrashing and calling for her in his sleep. She wants more than anything to just walk into his room and comfort him, but she knows it will lead to questions she doesn't want to answer. Especially the question on her mind now. To be honest if she had the chance to do it again she do it in a heartbeat. Not just this team or Fitz but for anyone. Even a complete stranger. They can blame it on her nature or her wanting to make a difference no matter what the cost but, she doesn't care. She knows she'll be known a hero, but she doesn't care. The truth is Coulson's team opened new doors for her but she still can't seem to shut the old ones. She still cares and would give her life for anyone. She doesn't want those doors to shut. So sure let them blame it on whatever they want, but she'll know the reason and the answer.
She jumped because she cares, the same reason she'd do it again