Disclaimer: Gravitation belongs to Murakami-sama. ^_^v But I'll always obsess over it as if it were...
I had wondered for a long time if Yuki really loved me...
...only to find out all this time...
Did I really love him?
Infatuation
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 1 - Kurai. (Darkness.)
"Yuuki~!" I whined sadly as I tugged on his sleeve for about the thousandth time that night. "Please? Let's do something together."
"No, Shuichi." He said without stopping his fingers from typing despite my pulling. "I have to get this finished."
"That's what you said yesterday. Aren't you almost finished anyway?" I said as I sighed.
He didn't say anything.
I don't know if he's lying or he just doesn't want to spend time with me...
After another sigh, I left the room hurt as usual. "It wasn't like I was asking much this time."
"It takes a lot..." he trailed off as he mumbled to himself. But I didn't want to hear it. I just closed the door quietly behind me.
Then, I leaned on the wall for a moment and looked up to the ceiling trying not to cry.
Hey, at least he didn't scream at me like last time...
"Uruse!" he had shouted to my face the last time...
yesterday...
Pushing myself off, I shuffled my feet to the living room and plopped myself on the couch. Again, I stared at the ceiling before me.
"Oh, there's that crack right there..." I had said to myself.
Yuki had thrown something the other time he wanted me to shut up. And it had left an imprint on the ceiling...
That wasn't the only place he had left an imprint...
I looked at the tiny scar left on my side. By accident, the glass shard had flown in my direction and I had started to cry. He thought I was whining and wanted me to be quiet even more until I tried to pick out the glass.
He then came to me and took it out himself.
Looking at him, I had thought, "Despite everything, he always feels bad in the end."
That night, I turned over to one side of the bed to stare at the wall. My eyes adjusted themselves to the darkness and I started to cry silent tears.
I didn't know what to do. It wasn't on purpose, but still...
"Ow..." I whispered as Yuki wrapped his arm around me and at the place where he had put bandaging on.
It was a sign...maybe...of the way we were...
he putting his arm where it most hurt...
Then, he whispered in my ear, "Gomen."
It was a word he rarely used.
It was a word he only said when he was truly sorry for what he had done.
And it made me wonder how many times would he do this to me...
make me think this way...
get me confused as to if it were my fault or not...
I didn't know anymore.
All I knew as the person who was now kissing me was showing the emotion I wish he would show...
...when there was light outside...
...and not in this deep darkness...
...this abyss where I didn't know if it was sincere.
But still those warm hands were reaching out to me...
as my heart receeded within itself.
Was I really needed...or wanting to be needed?
--
Author's note: I don't know whether I want this to be long or short, but we'll see.
I've always wanted to explore those questions I've had: was it an infatuation or is it real as I want it to seem? Hiro looks more of Shuichi's type, but Yuki's the one that he likes. And I love this inner conflict. Infinite possibilities unlike Ryuichi and Tatsuha. I love this pairing even more, but you must present more into their relationship...
then again, this is just me.
Besides, I've come back to Shuichi and I think I'm now comfortable enough to do his character without doubting as much as to what to write compared to the first fanfic I did for Gravi, which is still my favorite along with Fallen Angel/Nagareboshi.
I had wondered for a long time if Yuki really loved me...
...only to find out all this time...
Did I really love him?
Infatuation
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 1 - Kurai. (Darkness.)
"Yuuki~!" I whined sadly as I tugged on his sleeve for about the thousandth time that night. "Please? Let's do something together."
"No, Shuichi." He said without stopping his fingers from typing despite my pulling. "I have to get this finished."
"That's what you said yesterday. Aren't you almost finished anyway?" I said as I sighed.
He didn't say anything.
I don't know if he's lying or he just doesn't want to spend time with me...
After another sigh, I left the room hurt as usual. "It wasn't like I was asking much this time."
"It takes a lot..." he trailed off as he mumbled to himself. But I didn't want to hear it. I just closed the door quietly behind me.
Then, I leaned on the wall for a moment and looked up to the ceiling trying not to cry.
Hey, at least he didn't scream at me like last time...
"Uruse!" he had shouted to my face the last time...
yesterday...
Pushing myself off, I shuffled my feet to the living room and plopped myself on the couch. Again, I stared at the ceiling before me.
"Oh, there's that crack right there..." I had said to myself.
Yuki had thrown something the other time he wanted me to shut up. And it had left an imprint on the ceiling...
That wasn't the only place he had left an imprint...
I looked at the tiny scar left on my side. By accident, the glass shard had flown in my direction and I had started to cry. He thought I was whining and wanted me to be quiet even more until I tried to pick out the glass.
He then came to me and took it out himself.
Looking at him, I had thought, "Despite everything, he always feels bad in the end."
That night, I turned over to one side of the bed to stare at the wall. My eyes adjusted themselves to the darkness and I started to cry silent tears.
I didn't know what to do. It wasn't on purpose, but still...
"Ow..." I whispered as Yuki wrapped his arm around me and at the place where he had put bandaging on.
It was a sign...maybe...of the way we were...
he putting his arm where it most hurt...
Then, he whispered in my ear, "Gomen."
It was a word he rarely used.
It was a word he only said when he was truly sorry for what he had done.
And it made me wonder how many times would he do this to me...
make me think this way...
get me confused as to if it were my fault or not...
I didn't know anymore.
All I knew as the person who was now kissing me was showing the emotion I wish he would show...
...when there was light outside...
...and not in this deep darkness...
...this abyss where I didn't know if it was sincere.
But still those warm hands were reaching out to me...
as my heart receeded within itself.
Was I really needed...or wanting to be needed?
--
Author's note: I don't know whether I want this to be long or short, but we'll see.
I've always wanted to explore those questions I've had: was it an infatuation or is it real as I want it to seem? Hiro looks more of Shuichi's type, but Yuki's the one that he likes. And I love this inner conflict. Infinite possibilities unlike Ryuichi and Tatsuha. I love this pairing even more, but you must present more into their relationship...
then again, this is just me.
Besides, I've come back to Shuichi and I think I'm now comfortable enough to do his character without doubting as much as to what to write compared to the first fanfic I did for Gravi, which is still my favorite along with Fallen Angel/Nagareboshi.