Dead... She was dead... And its all my fault. Soul felt like this was a twisted nightmare torturing his mind by that blasted demon that lurks in his soul, but it wasn't. This was real. He had failed.
"Soul."
His fault. It's all his fault.
"Soul!"
Damn it. Damn it all. Why? Why the fuck couldn't he be faster?! Soul punched the wall. The brick cutting into his hand pulling him slowly out of his miserable thoughts and back to reality. Slowly the things around him became real. First he noticed the blood dripping from his hand and dropping down onto the ivory carpet. Staining it. Then he noticed that he wasn't alone in the small room. Black Star stared at him with that damnable look on his face. The same look everyone gave since... since...
"Damn it!" Soul roared and punched the wall again. The pain nothing compared to the pain in his heart.
Black Star stood a silent witness to his pain. Then offered him a tissue.
"To clean up." He said with a pointed look to the blood stains on the once spotless carpet. Soul accepted the tissue wordlessly and wrapped his hand mutely. "Soul, look I'm-"
"Don't." Soul growled. Not wanting to hear the words. Black Star opened his mouth. The idiot never could keep that thing shut!
"No Soul. I'm sorry we didn't get there in time that we couldn't help save-" That was it. Soul grabbed his best friend... That wasn't dead... And slammed him against the wall.
"Don't." Soul said coldly. "Do. Not. Talk." He became aware of Tsubaki peeking into the room shock registering first on her face then... That damned look came on her face like everyone has been giving him. That look that made him want to cut them all into little pieces. Oh yeah. That would please the little demon. He could hear the monster inside him laughing at the thought. Soul growled then released his friend to fall to the ground and rub his throat. Everyone waited for him. Now both were looking at him. Calmly waiting like a sailor waits and watches a huge wave about to crash into their boat. Calmly awaiting the destruction. Knowing there is no way to stop it. "Is it time?" Soul finally spits.
Tsubaki nods. "Yes Soul. We're just waiting on you." Waiting to start. To say all the right words. To look at her lifeless body all cleaned up and peaceful. Like she was sleeping. In a coffin. Surrounded by flowers. Sleeping...
"Fuck." Soul sighs quietly.
"If you need a few minutes..." Tsubaki says calmly putting her hand on his shoulder. He realizes then that he's crying. Tears that he's held in since the day his world ended run down his face and stain that damned carpet some more. He shakes his head and walks out the the room.
To say goodbye... To everything.