Author: CrashOverride
Title: Hoping to be Cured
Warnings: A short piece that feel out of my mind....? I do not own the G-boys. I am not making money off of this. Dont sue. ^_^ Duo's POV
Rating:PG
I've begun to wonder if falling in love for some one who will never.... Or might never return the feelings is pathetic. For if it is then I must be the most pathetic person in the whole world. Some one once told me that you couldn't pick whom you love and whom you don't love. It just kinda comes natural. You can choose to act on it, or you can let it eat you alive, she told me. However, she never said how it would torment you, and hurt you too see the person with another. How much it would break you heart to have the person verbally take you down for being yourself. She never warned me about the pain of falling in love. She told me it was a wonderful feeling, especially if returned. Though I never bargained for the pain. I don't want the pain but I guess I am left with it no matter what happens huh? I wonder if just telling him that I love him will bring out the love that he might be hiding. But that perhaps will take courage. Courage that I don't have.
I don't remember how I came to love. Or how I will ever tell him. I guess for now, I will just be content on watching him from afar. Hearing his voice on a rare occasion and study his movements. I have documented so much about him already. I could write several books on the boy... the man that I love; though I know only 3 people would by them. Me, Relena Peacecraft, and J. No one else, for no one else would really understand what I would say in the book, either good or bad. Of course I know the other pilots might get a good laugh out of my observations and how I might describe the man in my own vision. I still can't help but love him. It hurts you know. To love some one so much, and even when in their presence, it hurts because they might never know. All they do is pass you off as something that can parish... well at least that is how I see how he acts around me. I am but another causality of the war. And I would rather not be another statistic.. Really I wouldn't....
Anyway on to doing what needs to be done. I have figured out that no matter how much I hate it, there is no point in bottling this love and pain inside. I have found, but the great and wise Quatre..... Lots of sarcasm put into that, that I should just confront my fear and get it over with. Just tell the blasted man that I love him and see how it turns out. If rejected then I will be able to move on, if not I might not feel this dreadful pain any more. So I decided.
I asked him if I could talk to him privately. He of course agreed. We made our way the library, a neutral place of sorts. He sat down on one of the many luxurious couches, while I stood, facing him. Talking in a deep breath, I stared into his eyes before I said it. " I love you" came out as a meek whisper but I knew he heard me. A great weight was lifted off my chest as I said it. And I said again, louder. Then I smiled, and left, leaving him to do what he needed to do, whether it be just sitting there shocked. Or whether it be searching my out and returning the love. Whatever happens, I can only hope, I will be happy again.... For the pain of love is still clawing at my heart.... Creating deep gashes of suffering.... Hoping to be cured.