Anima Villis
~When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most~
Ronald Anthony
The Ending.
It was only the beginning and yet it felt more like an ending.
Something heavy and almost unbearable filled the air as they entered the locker-room. Such a deadly, bleak silence. Grim expressions that somehow seemed inappropriate on their young faces. They all sat down, feeling defeated and with eyes locked on the floor. They waited for the worst to come. Although the team was already expecting it, the cutting voice still managed to strike down like a lightning and catch every one of them unprepared and vulnerable.
"I can't believe it! It's like you've forgotten absolutely everything Clamp and I taught you!" harsh words of the coach ripped apart the last remnants of their confidence. The weak hope of comfort and hearing an encouraging 'you did your best' vanished as quickly as it appeared. They didn't give their best. And the truthfulness of that mouthful hurt the most.
"All those hours of practice," Aarch continued, his voice echoing through the hallways. "All those combinations repeated again and again!"
It was beyond his imagination how could they perform so badly, what was the cause of this meltdown? Dame Simbai and Clamp simply stood by his side, forever loyal to him. They watched the scene almost dispassionately and kept their thoughts to themselves. It was all between Aarch and his team. In this dramatic moment they were in no position to point their own opinions.
"You have to wake up, huh-" they couldn't be farther from the finals and yet the stake seemed to be at its highest.
It was only the beginning and yet it felt more like an ending.
It was only the beginning and the mere thought of losing his probably last opportunity to once again reach for the dreams of youth made Aarch feel sick to the core. He felt like screaming. When the former striker had decided to form a new team he was aware of the difficulties he'll have to face- but never did he suspect that it would affect him so deeply, nor did he expect to deal with such 'be or not to be' situations so early. Aarch was a kind and loving man but he also had his ambitions and the mere thought of failing at this stage, before his team had even really tried, made him bitter and that fueled his anger even more.
" -otherwise we can just kiss the Galactik Football Cup goodbye right now… but maybe you don't deserve it after all."
The teenagers listened without looking up, humble and hacked as the harsh words fell on them like a whip, striking where it hurt most. It is unbelievable how faith in one's own worth can do miracles. How strength can be found at the eve of defeat and no failure seems fatal, how hope is not lost when the end of the road can't be seen. The simple assurance that somewhere out there is a place where you belong and there is a reason for you to be, that all your efforts weren't just good for nothing. But as it seemed no miracles would take place tonight, not on the frozen stadium of Akillian. For it is also unbelievable how hollow are the eyes of those who were made feel worthless, without anything to hold onto. And indeed the small flame that was burning in the eyes of his students seemed to go one shade paler. Only one of them kept his gaze unchanged.
With a burning anger and a chilling feeling of helplessness Aarch turned to the last of his players. 'That selfish, short-fused punk,' he thought bitterly. Indeed one could say that the boy was the main reason why the first half of the 'Snow Kids versus Red Tigers' match ended with such big disadvantage for their team. Three goals were lost. None scored. From day one Aarch was certain that Sinedd would be a tough case but what he saw today on the field has left him, gently speaking, absolutely outraged.
'What a messed-up kid,' he thought, 'constantly fouling, never passing the ball, even stealing it from his own teammates!' for most of his life Aarch was dealing with football, either as a player or a coach, and at this point he was sure that nothing more could surprise him. That was until the match when Sinedd has proven him wrong. Going to any lengths just in order to score, playing solo all the time, treating absolutely everyone on the field like an opponent, having no respect for basic rules of playing. He was a very talented striker, none could deny that fact and thanks to his remarkable skills he could allow himself to lead such reckless actions. But even the best striker in the galaxy can turn into a disadvantage if he breaks every known norm of teamwork. And too bad that despite all his attempts, or rather antics, Sinedd didn't manage to score. But even that wouldn't hold Aarch back. No, the coach was not quite done yet. He held up his fist and clenched it.
"… as for you Sinedd," the demented striker lazily rose his head and met the steely gaze of the furious coach with a well hidden spark of defiance in his eyes, "If you keep putting on a one-man show-"
"What you're gonna do, huh?" the striker didn't like the way that man was talking to him. He really hated when people were shouting at him, made a scapegoat out of him, he has already had enough of it in his life. He really wished Aarch would stop, just shut the hell up for a second and leave him alone, just stop, just stop fucking shouting at me! In the back of Sinedd's mind a quiet voice kept telling him not to let his arrogance and temper get the better of him, that he owes something to this man and being a rebel without a cause would gain him nothing but trouble. But then again who did he think he was, the boy thought, scolding him like that. According to Sinedd's point of view during the first half the rest of the team was goofing around while he was doing all he could to make a goal. And they didn't even try to help him, that useless lot. Take D'Jok for example, playing the team's 'star,' as if he had it in him to be one. Then Micro-Ice, that ass-faced clown, juggling with the ball like a monkey just to show off in front of that swellheaded bimbo Mei. And not to mention the goalkeeper sleeping in the net- how come he, the only one who was actually trying to score back there was now the only one receiving the 'hearty' treatment?
Unable to understand why the blame was placed on him, Sinedd let his feelings become dark and bitter. Once again he ignored that weak voice of reason in his head and allowed it to fade away within the anger. He hid his mixed feelings of insecurity and frustration behind a mask of fake bravado. Attacking with insolence was the best defense; the boy had learned that long ago. He was ready for anything Aarch would throw at him or want to threaten him with. After all the coach was in no position to make demands, for there was nobody on the team who could replace Sinedd. After the wonder child- Tia- had been taken back by her parents the Snow Kids were left only with seven players. None was warming the bench this time, not even that damn hobbit- Micro-Ice was replacing Tia on the midfield. This situation gave him a false sense of security- no more holding back. Playing with the Snow Kids was a wild-goose chase anyway, so why not make the best out of it? He saw this as an opportunity to show everybody what he was really made of. Finally the striker could play the way he wanted, without any useless idiots holding him back and pulling him down with their pathetic mistakes. That match belonged to him alone. Alone…
"Kick me out of the field?" he challenged. He felt like nothing could bring him down this time. Tia was the only one who could replace him but now she was stuck back on the Obia Moon with her overprotective mother and father. Back when the authorities were taking her home for the first time in his life Sinedd felt superior for not having parents, being able to do whatever he pleased without anyone butting in. Or caring.
"And replace me with whom-"
"How about me?"
Everyone in the locker room turned around to see Tia standing in the doorway, all healthy and smiling. The bondage in her leg was gone and she seemed to be in a pretty good shape. Gracefully she stepped in and crossed her arms.
"Tia…!" Rocket sounded relieved. It was as if that unbearable weight and pressure were lifted the moment Tia appeared. Frowns were replaced with smiles, new hope was rising.
"You didn't think I would let you lose without me, did you?" she joked merrily. None was thinking about defeat any more. Tia had the Breath of Akillian, she was their salvation and the ticket to the Cup. The more lighthearted everybody felt the more desperate felt Sinedd. As the tension seemingly vanished from the room in truth it all fell on his shoulders. Having the ground disappear from under his feet he was left speechless.
"What about your parents?" Aarch asked, wondering how she could overcome that matter. He still couldn't believe his luck.
"Let's just say that's an 'out of sight out of mind' situation," she replied mysteriously, remembering how she tricked the security in her mansion. It will take them some time to realize that the image on the screen is a fake and they might even get to finish the game before her parents arrive to the academy. "Don't worry coach; you won't have any trouble for this."
"Oh, believe me, I have no more worries now that I see you," everybody circled Tia, patting her back and laughing. The will to fight has returned. Aarch turned his face to the defiant striker.
"Well Sinedd," he smirked and looked once again at the happy crowd. "Does that answer your question?"
Sinedd remained silent, his eyes unreadable. He wasn't going to grace Aarch with any kind of reaction. Apathy was the best shield he had that so far had proven itself to be an unbreakable one as well and while hiding behind it none could get to him. Not that anyone ever tried. And it also annoyed people. Aarch was glad that he had won this little battle; he didn't intend to bring the boy down but to teach him something, perhaps the most valuable lesson in his life: the ability to do the things that need to be done, whether he likes it or not. That was something every child learns early on in life and also something that will take long time for Sinedd to get used to. But his insolence didn't turn the coach off, as repulsive as it was. He was certain that 'the kid will get around eventually.'
The second half was about the begin and the Snow Kids, high-spirited as ever moved out of the locker room to enter the stadium. New hope was rising, they were determined to win. As the platform was about to take them once again on the field Micro-Ice spared one last glance at the suspended player. A wicked grin darkened his face.
"Hey pro!" he mocked. "Now watch how you really play football! But if you need that face-time so badly you can put on a skirt and be our cheerleader," he started to rhythmically move his hips and arms, pretending to hold pompoms, "maybe someone will notice you then!" D'Jok and Thran laughed. Being already annoyed beyond words Sinedd shot Micro-Ice a hateful glare and with a quick and rude gesture he simply flipped him off. The younger teens smile went even wider.
"And I love you too honey! See you later after we win!" he waved his hand mockingly not realizing how prophetic his last words were. About their glorious victory and how much later it will be when he would see Sinedd again. Aarch chuckled to himself. It was always amusing to watch the boys trying to get under each other's skin. Still, there was no time to waste. The players were on the field again and the game would resume in less than three minutes. The brief moment of joy was gone as the match wasn't over yet. He clapped his hands loudly to get the attention of the rest of the staff.
"All right people, back to work! We haven't won yet," he said. Dame Simbai collected her tools that she used for Tia's quick checkup- it was impressive that she recovered so well in such a short time. Simbai also noticed Clamp's pensive and grim expression as he headed to the other room in his usual sluggish pace. She came closer to him, still searching through her bag, looking for some unknown item.
"Now, now, turn that frown upside down," she said in her exotic accent and patted him on the back. "Everything is turning for the best, we have to think positive."
"I wish you were right Simbai," he sighed. "I wish you were. But still we're taking pot luck…"
Aarch sighed and turned his head to look behind. Sinedd hasn't moved an inch since the rest of the team had left for the game. He was looking motionlessly at the ceiling, at the gate where the platform has disappeared and taken the players up on the field leaving him underground like he was some kind of misbehaving dog. His face was twisted with a strange, ugly scowl that usually appears when people step in a rather large and foul-smelling poop. The boy didn't notice as the coach came closer to him.
"You too, come with me," Aarch called the absentminded player. "You'll watch a documentary show called 'teamwork'," he joked. Wanting to get his student's attention he has gently put a hand on Sinedd's shoulder and was taken aback as the boy flinched and immediately stepped away from the coach as if he were burned. He looked at Aarch warily, his body tense. After less than two seconds he relaxed slightly and nodded. Nevertheless something wild was still blazing in his eyes. Had he startled the boy, maybe? With eyes still locked on the older man Sinedd slowly went past Aarch and headed to the other room where Simbai and Clamp were already consumed with work. Aarch stood alone for a moment, deep in thought, wondering about what he had just witnessed. He snapped out of it quickly as there was no time for meditation. He left the empty room to join the rest of the staff.
The game was about to start as he reached the control room. Dame Simbai and Clamp were at their desks, watching the screens. Sinedd was also there, in the back of the room, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a nasty scowl on his face (what was actually his usual expression and if it ever turned into an honest smile the paradox would probably destroy the entire universe- so it was actually better the way it was). Aarch could almost imagine a big black cloud with lightings hovering above the boy.
"You seem worried Clamp," Simbai noticed and frowned slightly. She always noticed things like that- whether it was a mere cold, serious injury or just bad mood, she was looking after her companions all the time, like a good mother- keeping her attitude positive no matter what. This made her probably the most precious treasure on the team. With a dull expression on his face the professor kept on looking at the screen in front of him, full of complicated statistics and numbers.
"Tia's out of practice," he pointed out. "And she hasn't played since her injury."
"I have looked at her- she's in good shape," indeed she was. It wasn't a miraculous comeback but still strange enough to keep a closer eye on it. After all Simbai wasn't with the Akillian team only thanks to luck- the Flux Society has given her specific orders to observe how the situation with the Breath will develop.
"It's a pretty big risk-"
"A risk can turn into opportunity, Clamp," they had nothing to lose anyway. And everything to gain.
"Especially at three-nil," Aarch sent Sinedd a scornful glare and the boy lowered his head slightly. It was hard to tell if it was an act of showing shame or that he simply had enough of dirty looks, which he has been receiving from everyone lately. His team members, the staff, even the empty walls seemed to scold and stare at him.
The truth was that the devastating failure from the first half wasn't entirely his fault- although he didn't give his best (or rather wanted too badly to be the best); the rest of the players wasn't doing much better at all. But it was always easier to find a scapegoat. And Sinedd's defiant attitude didn't help much to stop the others from placing the blame on him. It was much easier for everyone that way. And he didn't even care much about it anymore; having such a repulsive nature he was used to being scolded for everything and nothing, for simply being there.
The coach was giving another lecture to the players but Sinedd didn't pay much attention. It was as if he suddenly stopped caring whether his team advanced to the Galactik Football Cup or not, despite the fact that it was also his only chance to go to places, to accomplish something in his life. On the other hand he doubted that the Snow Kids would manage to score against the Red Tigers, not after the beating they've received in the first half. There was also a slight hope that perhaps someone had noticed him on the field, that maybe another club would take him in. But he didn't really believe something like that would ever happen to him. Like hell. More likely he would get run over by a pack of giant xenon turkeys than that.
"You have one half left to prove your worth-" Aarch continued the speech. Sinedd smirked at his words. Like they could win without him, fat chance. They were no better than him, not D'Jok and his midget, not even Tia. Flux or no flux, he was the one who always got past the defense straight to the goal and, when it was necessary, he was the one fouling- not the other way around. He would never be the victim, he was way too strong for that. And even if he got injured, he wouldn't make a scene because of one petty scratch. But that was the whole point, they were all playing like, with no offence to Mei and Tia, girls. One boo-boo and they need to be carried off the field, all snotty and crying. They didn't even know how to fight back, how pathetic. He considered football just as another battle he had to go though, just like everyday life. Survival of the fittest so to say, a fight to stay on the surface- friends or no friends in the end it all came down to your own strength.
"I'm counting on you!"
The game started quite nicely, meaning the Snow Kids didn't lose a goal in the first thirty seconds. It seemed like Tia's return and Aarch's ranting had really risen the team's spirit. And then Tia has used the Breath leaving everyone speechless and amazed. That was the first goal for the Snow Kids. The second one followed quickly after, also thanks to the girl's flux. The game was nothing like it was during the first half. Everything was turning for the best. Everything was turning for the best and yet Sinedd was feeling uneasy, anxious. He should be glad that the prospect of them qualifying for the GF Cup was becoming more and more real, but at the same time he didn't feel like a part of that success. Actually when he thought about it, there never was a 'we' in the team, it always was 'me and them'. And now, as he was the only one left behind out of the field, he noticed how huge the gap between him and the others was…
Sinedd quickly shoved that thought away and turned his attention to the game.
And then it happened! Shocked gasps and screams of frustration filled the air when Tia hit the ground roughly. People gathered around as she was lying motionlessly. The two players from the Red Tigers who fouled the girl so violently were temporary taken off the field. Rocket kneeled beside her and the time seemed to stop. The seconds passed slowly and everything went silent as the snow started to fall gracefully on the field through the gap in the not in the control room. Simbai and Clamp were quickly looking through the scanners, checking Tia's stats and health. Aarch went berserk, smashing fists on the desk and cursing the other team's coach.
"Playing dirty, as usual! Can't come up with anything better, huh, Artegor? You're gonna pay for this!" he shouted and turned to the others. "How bad is it Simbai?"
"I'm still checking…" she replied calmly, eyes locked on the computer screen.
"Please tell me she wasn't hit too hard…"
"I've told you it was a bad idea," Clamp pointed out. He was looking through different files, checking tables and statistics. None had anything more to say, it was all a matter of few seconds to see if Tia will be able to continue playing. And once again- the contrast: as everyone was mortified and worried about the girl, Sinedd felt glad. Seeing her down gave him a vicious and foul satisfaction. He was irreplaceable again. It was his second chance. That twisted with a scowl mouth started to turn into a rare smile and an equally rare feeling of hope filled his heart. A hope that-
"Perhaps we could make a substitution?" the engineer suggested. Sinedd felt like a great weight was lifted from his chest. But Aarch was still hesitant to answer. He briefly looked over at the striker standing behind him and sighed, defeated. He really didn't want things to turn out like that. Tia deserved to play, just like Sinedd deserved to be taught a lesson. Then again, what other choice did he have?
"Well," the coach started and Sinedd's heart started to beat faster, "I guess we don't have any other choi-"
"She's okay Aarch, no need to worry," Simbai interrupted and pointed to the screen. Tia was standing up. "There're going to be a few bruises but nothing serious."
Damnit!
"All right!" Aarch cheered, forgetting what he was just about to say. Once again he couldn't believe his luck, "We're back on the right track."
He watched happily as the team captain, Rocket, was preparing for the free kick. If he would score then they will catch up with the Red Tigers. And after that nothing could go wrong, the victory was at reach. And as Aarch predicted, the young captain used his magical right foot and made a magnificent goal. The coach didn't expect anything less from his own blood. His own nephew. Norata should be so proud…
"It's amazing!" said Clamp, looking unexpectedly more alive, "Oh boy Aarch, I'm starting to think we're actually going to win…!"
"Of course we're gonna win!" roared the coach and turned the speaker on to communicate with his players.
"Well done people! Three goals down, one to go!" he felt like a king concurring a new land. "Listen up! We're not losing any longer but that doesn't mean you can lay back- there still are twenty minutes left, anything can happen. This is the time to give all you've got, show those rich brats what you're made of!"
The kids gave in union a fierce shout, like an army preparing for battle. 'My army against them', he thought about all those people who tried to take him down. Ha! Indeed he felt like a king. And nothing could stop them now. Seeing how the Snow Kids crushed their opponents made him think of good old days, when he, along with his best friend- Artegor, were a star players, a goal-scoring machines. The time didn't matter back then, the two of them thought all this glory would last forever, just like their friendship. Pity it turned out differently… Those times will never come back but all was not lost. He could feel the excitement of the incoming victory, he could almost see his kids playing on the Genesis Stadium, beating the best teams in the galaxy. And him, the one who coached them- complete nobodies, from zeros to heroes, the coach of the champions… They haven't even qualified for the GF Cup yet but in that very moment he was sure that was only a matter of time, that all the glory he loved so much was within his reach.
As Aarch was consumed with thoughts of greater things he failed to notice that something was missing in the room, someone…
I didn't feel real. I couldn't be real. It was surely some of anomaly, maybe even a kind of delirium, another side-effect of the Smog. That's it, he was having one of those dreams again, one of those that make you wake up screaming in the middle of the night. So simple. There was no other way to explain how his team could have lost to a bunch of rookies. And yet, few hours after the final whistle was blown he still couldn't wake up. Which was making him rather uneasy and was pointing to the dreadful fact that Aarch's glorious victory and his shameful defeat were in fact not just another one of maniacal nightmares but harsh reality. Aarch has won, again. But what else did he expect? Trust that traitorous 'wonder boy' to show up just before the Cup with his last-minute assembled team and rib him off the spot in the final sixteen. He might have been a bit jealous of Aarch in the past, might have had the tendency to get a little obsessive about it sometimes, but who can deny now that what has happened today was just fucking unfair!
Aarch, that traitor. All that prick could do was to jump from one planet to another, from team to team- everything only for his own benefit. Their friendship meant nothing to him, nothing! Artegor Nexus was better than him, much better. So what if the brats he had been training were just a bunch of spoiled gits who didn't deserve the Cup after all? It's not the point- he deserved it. Akillian deserved it. But did Aarch care? It was all between the two of them, and old game that was probably never meant to be finished. And it's about time to do it, now or never. He's not going to lose to Aarch, never mind the means. And that was precisely what he was doing now- the ship to the Shadow Archipelago was almost ready. There was only one thing left to be done, the final blow. As Artegor stood in the snow covered field, his vehicle not too far away, he wondered what will the future bring. He smiled, what cloud either mean impending doom for his enemies or that the full moon was coming.
He had backup plan even before the match had started. After all he couldn't count on the Red Tigers- as their coach he knew better than anyone that those brats had no chance against GFC level teams. The ship has been waiting for him in the port for the last two days. But he wasn't leaving because he was scared of losing to Aarch, no, never. That traitorous bastard just got lucky. It was because...
That thought made something in his stomach twist painfully and that left him feeling numb and empty, the train of thoughts broken. Who knows for how long he just stood there, a dark stranger invading the purity of snow. The wind was freezing, but he didn't mind. Cold could do him no harm since he was frozen inside. The silent twilight, he was not afraid of it. It made him feel safely hidden in the shadows, for his soul was as black as the night sky. As the Smog.
But that pure white snow, it made him feel nervous. Exposed.
True, tonight he was forced to retreat. But an enemy that forces you to retreat is in fact afraid of you. And after all Artegor was not leaving Akillian for the Shadow Archipelago without any kind of booby prize. He knew his rival very well, knew where would hurt him the most. And who knows, maybe losing the match would turn out for the good? After all his 'prize' seemed very promising and Aarch, Artegor would make sure of that, will regret this night for the rest of his miserable life. He would make a great use of his new tool and my, who would have thought, it was only a mere coincidence that he found that kid sulking in the hallways. Artegor made the best of that rare chance to get back at Aarch. And it wasn't even that hard, as it only takes a few words to spread poison in a young mind.
'Pity they didn't let you finish'
'Why aren't you celebrating with your friends?'
'Was the bench cozy?'
'Don't expect to play anytime soon'
It was a mere coincidence that he found such a great opportunity to get back at his arch-nemesis. All the newly recruited coach of the Shadows had to do now was to wait in the spider's web for his pray to come. Just a little bit longer…
People were cheering and laughing. And they had a lot to celebrate-not everyday your child get that chance to play in the most prestigious sport event in the galaxy. Families and friends sharing their happiness- for such moments life is worth living.
It was like watching a movie. Like looking at pictures moving in front of you but never being an actual part of them, never participating. That's precisely how he felt. Sinedd was observing the others from a distance, avoiding everyone ever since he left the control-room. It was hard to tell whether it was out of shame or anger. Disgusted, that's how he felt. With the others… or himself? He wasn't sure. He silently observed the happy scene with a mask of indifference on his face.
D'Jok and Micro-Ice were together with their mothers, goofing and laughing. They were vividly talking about something, probably gloating about their great success. Small wonder that D'Jok found the Breath, everything always came easy to that lucky bastard. The twins were nearby with their parents, so was Mei with hers. Even Tia had come to terms with her folks, all thanks to Callie Mystic no doubt. Balloons and confetti were laying everywhere; tables had been prepared with delicious looking food and colorful drinks. Everything that's needed for a good party. Sinedd stood on a balcony and like a black vulture he observed everything from above. A grim, contemptuous expression has twisted his young face into an ugly scowl.
What a bunch of idiots, he thought. Such a pathetic victory is nothing to be celebrated, the first half of the game was a complete humiliation, and the other was just mere luck, weird coincidence, nothing more. It's rather something to be ashamed of. What a bunch of idiots.
Stupid, so stupid.
And incompetent!
Losers.
Spoiled brats.
Assholes.
Stupid bastards.
Stupid...
He despised the sight of them, as they looked so happy and care-free… and yet he found himself unable to take his eyes off the laughing families. They were so close and at the same time everything felt so far away from him as if he were trapped in a black void. A wonderful kind of warmth was radiating from those people. Just simple emotions: kindness, acceptance, joy. Strangely that loving energy has only made him feel cold inside. The ire was already leaving him; he couldn't find any more meaningless excuses or throw empty insults. Something in his stomach was twisting. It was hard to decide whether it was jealousy or just simply the feeling of being rejected. Maybe a combination of both. After a storm of negative emotions came a sad tranquility.
Pity he had none to celebrate with. Pity that mom and dad couldn't come. Pity that they were dead.
His eyes wandered aimlessly towards the window. It was a beautiful evening but he couldn't care less. Although he would never admit it, deep inside Sinedd knew that no matter how though and strong he acted, how he provoked everyone with his arrogance and insolence- loneliness was something he could never defeat. And that was probably his greatest poverty. But it was no news to him, he didn't get all emotional about it. Most of his life he had been all alone and there was not a soul in the entire universe that would give a damn about him. Big deal. He knew how to take care of himself, he had to learn that long ago. Sinedd wasn't a poor, misunderstood orphan who acted like a complete bastard just because he had it rough, deep inside just wanted to be loved and if somebody would only give him a chance he will turn all goody and friendly. Like hell. If anyone ever tried to give him a hug he would probably repay with a punch in the face. He was strong and needed no one. True, it was pretty hard at the beginning. Hard? No, it was rather a nightmare- he had spent his first few weeks at the orphanage looking through the window, day after day, his little hands and nose pressed against the old glass, waiting for his parents to come and take him back home (and every day he was certain that 'they will arrive any moment now'). But things have changed, his whole life has. No mother. No father. No home. Deep down he had known they were gone, that he was left alone in a world full of strangers, but back then he was simply too stubborn to acknowledge that fact, to let his family die in his heart so easily. As the time passed by he stood in the window less and less often until he couldn't be seen there anymore and the only proof that he had ever been there were small hand-prints left on the dirty glass. In the end that fragile spark of hope that helped him to survive all those lonely nights not only didn't protect him from the feeling of loss but also brought the greatest misery upon him- bitterness and disappointment. Sinedd learned that to hope is to delude yourself in the most cruel way, that 'dreams are for losers, kid.' Suddenly the world wasn't such a friendly place anymore and around he could only see twisted faces. He got a little paler back then, lost a little weight, lost a little faith. Maybe some part of him died in that old house full of children that no one wanted or cared about.
But did the past matter? Not really. For Sinedd important were 'here' and 'now'. The past held nothing good for him. And now it seemed like the future would be no different either… He glared at people below him. When he thought about it wasn't even about being an outcast from the party but the sole fact that they were enjoying themselves, as if happiness were a toxin to his pessimistic personality. Like laughing were forbidden… He was in no way a social butterfly- he disliked adult people, he disliked old people, he disliked young people. He disliked people in general and wasn't very fond of anything else for that matter. Sinedd came as far as to embrace the fact that he was lonely, that he had no real friends, a fact about which D'Jok and his stupid gorillas just loved to remind him. But what were friends for anyway? They were for weak people, that's what. Weaklings gathering around other weaklings, a brotherhood of losers. Maybe a dwarf like Micro-Ice needed them, that idiot wouldn't even figure out how to tie his shoelaces on his own. Sinedd didn't need any useless crowd to hold him back. And good riddance, he thought, at least I don't have to worry that one day someone will stab me in the back… Those words were harsh but he wouldn't hold on to them if they weren't true, if he hadn't learn it the hard way. The world was full of bad people, very bad people and the trick was to win the race to be the criminal rather than the victim. 'It is not worth it to trust others,' he reminded himself of the words he had heard so long ago. And it had usually worked pretty well for him; it helped to keep his emotions at bay. There was nothing worse than drowning yourself in self-pity.
But as he was watching all this happiness an old wound in his soul opened, ready to bleed again. A doleful litany echoed through his head.
No mother.
No father.
No home...
Damn their laughter was annoying. If all that joy would confront his foul mood the antithesis would probably make the whole room explode. And that would be neat, seeing their goofy smiles frozen on their bloody faces laying few meters away from their decapitated bodies… He really needed to get some fresh air.
"Aarch, he's nowhere to be found! He has disappeared!"
The kid had literally fallen from the sky. Or crashed on his snowboard right under Artegor's feet, but no matter. Everything was working according to his plan. He looked at the boy, who was laying face down in the snow and shakily tried to get back to his on his feet.
"Angry, Sinedd?" Artegor asked but it was rather a rhetorical question- he saw with his own eyes how Sinedd stormed though the hallways, furious and with expression on this face that made him look like a serial bunny killer bent on extermination everything what's nice and fluffy.
"What about you, why aren't you livid?!" Sinedd replied, still on his fours, with as much bravado as he could muster. He didn't like that man advancing on him or seeing him lose control of the snowboard like some stupid kid. He got up quickly. "You lost, didn't you? It was my team that won," he smirked.
"Yes… but without you," it was Artegor's turn to get cocky. Sinedd's smile fell and he turned his head, not wanting to face that odd man. He looked at the cliff he has just fallen off. It was pretty high and his landing wasn't extremely spectacular either. His right arm hurt like hell and he was sure that big nice bruise was already there. He wondered what else could go wrong.
"Oh, what's the use?" Artegor continued. Now was time to set the bait. "What would you say about wining… for real? Together!"
"'Together'?" He finally caught the kid's attention. Nexus was amazed to see how Sinedd's expression evolved from regular anger through genuine surprise to angry disrespect mixed with contempt and general hatred for the entire universe. "What a joke!" he barked. "Like anybody would like to play with your pathetic team. It's not even playing in the Cup!"
"At least you would be ON the team," the taller man retorted. The team I'm talking about it anything but pathetic, you little punk! His temper was already rising, but he couldn't allow himself to get annoyed and scare the kid away, the stake was pretty high and still could lose this little game.
"And what is that supposed to mean?!" Sinedd raised his voice slightly, sounding a bit offended. Artegor mentally high-fived himself realizing he had just managed to hit a nerve.
"Oh, please don't tell me you actually believe that you will leave the bench anytime soon. Not after what happened. Not after they had won without you," Nexus made a dramatic pause, then added gravely, "You're not needed anymore."
The boy's frown deepened and he remained silent, suddenly unable to come up with any smart-ass comeback. For a few moments they just stood there facing each other, two pillars of ice and snow, both of them somewhat frozen inside.
"I've watched you closely during the game, you know," Nexus broke the silence. "I saw how they were shunning you. You're not very liked, am I right?" he was pretty sure he was pushing the right buttons, rubbing salt in the wound. In fact he really had been observing Sinedd on the pitch; actually it was hard NOT to notice him turning the entire game-play upside down. Although the kid failed miserably to score he did manage to pull few amazing moves out there. His ability to work in a team was indeed horribly lacking but on the other hand Sinedd was fast, aggressive, bold- in so many ways different from the other players Aarch had selected. Artegor immediately recognized this raw talent and was bent on using it the way Aarch would never dare. "You're different from them and you will never belong."
At this point Sinedd decided he has had enough of this man blubbering. Just his luck to have a crash-landing from a stinking cliff and end up in the middle of nowhere with a suspicious-looking guy who wears sunglasses at night. And has a weird hairdo. In his head Sinedd calculated all pros and cons about his current situation and decided that staying here with this creep was a definite no-no and leaving was most absolutely a yes-yes. He also didn't appreciate what that man was talking about, especially since it was the truth that Sinedd wasn't very glad to acknowledge. He turned to leave, wondering it there still was a point in going back to the academy.
"Aww come on dude, maybe we could hang out, do cool stuff or something," Artegor, seeing that he was losing control over the situation decided to try a different approach. Sinedd stopped suddenly and eyed him carefully. His expression was unreadable.
"Now that's … really creepy."
"What, a grown man trying to sound like a teenager?"
"No, your hairdo," he picked up his snowboard and started walking away towards the academy. Artegor was growing frustrated. That kid couldn't just slip away like that, he already had plans to use him, big plans. He was not going let some bad-tempered punk ruin his chance to finally get back at Aarch. Of course he would crush that pathetic fool anyway but it wasn't enough, he wanted to humiliate him, to beat him with his own weapon. Artegor wanted Sinedd, a player Aarch had himself selected, to be the one to score that final goal that would send those Snow Kids out of the Cup. It was perfect. And now this mutt, scumbag, this nobody is not only going to spoil this beautiful future but also dares to mock him? Artegor Nexus was never a man of patience and emotional tranquility, especially not under the mentally intoxicating influence of the Smog. In other words he got pissed off rather easily.
"Fine, go! And what do you expect? No matter how hard you try, you will never be one of them!" He shouted after Sinedd. The words disappeared in the moaning wind like a tear in the rain. The impact they have left, although not visible, was truly great. The boy stopped in his tracks and absently looked at his feet to see that snow was now reaching far above his ankles, his own shoes lost under the whiteness. He was starting to feel cold but didn't bother to zip his jacket. The older man was standing few meters behind him but Sinedd was sure he could feel his breath on his back, a warm breeze tangling around his neck. It was sickening. Nexus forced himself to inhale slowly trying to hide how his breath trembled with irritation. White flakes covered their tracks and soon there would be no trace that this conversation ever took place. It was getting colder and the chilling wind was toying with Sinedd's scarf.
"Oh yeah?" He said quietly, more to himself than to Artegor. Then he turned fiercely to the older man and looked him in the eyes, or rather where his eyes supposed to be behind the sunglasses. To Artegor he resembled an angry stray dog barking at strangers. "Yeah?! What if I don't want to be one of them, huh? I'm different, better. What would you know anyway?!"
"What would I know?" Artegor chuckled. "My boy, I know your type. The angry outsider type so hotheaded that it burns. Teamwork is not for you, no, no. You're different from the rest of them, true, and that's why you'll never be a part of the team. And a team is exactly what Aarch wants," his mouth twisted when he said his rivals name as if tasting something bitter. "You've got talent boy, I give you that, but how far can it take you? You think you're so though, that you need none? Well, you're wrong.
"I know what you want. I can give it to you. We are very alike, you and me."
"I don't think so, winding hair on curlpapers just isn't my thing," snarled Sinedd. It looked like he was determined to try Artegor's patience, which unfortunately was far from limitless.
"I am giving you a chance of your life, you insolent snot! A chance to prove yourself to be the best!" Nexus urged. "And leave my hair out of this!" He made a mental note that the first thing he will teach this brat is to hold his damn tongue. Not far from them a vehicle passed by. They could see its bright lights slashing through the blackness. Sinedd didn't realize that were the last glimpses of light he would see for a very long time, for the darkness was already gathering around him, holding him in it's grasp. He kept his gaze locked on the vehicle until it was barely visible, ignoring the older man. Artegor took a deep breath, silently counted to ten and after a moment added:
"You can either stay with the Snow Kids and enjoy the nice view from the bench while they others play or you can go with me and get to play with the greatest team in the galaxy. To play for real! To win the Cu-"
"The Cup?" Sinedd taunted. "Keep on dreaming old man, dream and live a happy life in that little fantasy world of yours where your loser team wins the Cup, sissy hair-curls are manly and you ride a cyber-pony."
"I see there is one thing you misundersto-"
"Your. Team. Lost," he pronounced every word very slowly and very clearly, as if explaining something ridiculously obvious to a small child. "You should take their example and get lost as well.
"You're out of the Cup, deal with it!" he jibed at Artegor. The man opened his mouth to speak but Sinedd interrupted him. "And stop wasting my time. If I'm going to be on a piss poor team at least it will be the one that actually advanced somewhere."
"I left my involvement with the Red Tigers behind in the distant past," explained Artegor with a look of painful nostalgia painted on his face, as if some unpleasant memories were catching up with him. "It was long ago, I was very young and the times were hard, I needed the money and made a mistake, I admit, but now it's time to move on-"
"What distant past are you talking about?" Sinedd cut in. "The match wasn't more than two hours ago-"
"- time to move on and the team I'm going to lead can grant you unlimited power!" Artegor's voice grew more and more excited. He was sure he was close to winning, he could sense victory like a hungry hyena and he loved that feeling. "The independence and freedom you seek! I can help you fully develop your true potential… or do you want to go back to the orphanage so badly?"
If Sinedd knew what a camel was he would certainly admit that the last remark was the straw that broke the camel's back. He wasn't so sure anymore. Aarch was angry with him, that was certain. With Tia back the team was more than complete, so he couldn't take his position for granted, not anymore. The more he thought about it the slimmer his chances with the Snow Kids seemed to be. Perhaps Lady Luck was smiling down on him, sending him a crooked, toothless grin and gave him another chance, maybe this is how it was supposed to be after all...
"Your anger is a gift." Artegor smiled slyly. A great gift for the Shadows. He could see it in that kid's eyes full of ire; he'll be a perfect Smog user. All those negative emotions combined in one person like a deadly hurricane could be used to achieve great power. But anger and hate burn like fire and fire always burns the one who holds it. In time, Sinedd would learn that.
"… what team are you talking about…?"
"You shouldn't have a shadow of a doubt," Artegor slowly outstretched his hand and released the Smog. It was floating around his body like a black snake giving him a delightful sensation. It made him feel complete and Artegor loved the alien substance with his whole being. Sinedd looked at the flux with wide eyes. He has never seen anything like that before, not this close. At first it seemed almost like the Breath, with black instead of electric blue. Then recognized the quality in it he had learned to respect. Power, he felt it's power, it was fascinating, pure energy consuming everything around it. It didn't remind him of the Akillian flux any longer. Compared to the Smog it seemed so weak… Artegor stood patiently, his cold smile betrayed no emotion except calm confidence. He looked at Sinedd's face and for a brief moment was taken aback- the usual angry frown was replaced with expression Nexus thought was physically impossible for that brat to pull off. Sinedd's eyebrows were raised, pale lips slightly parted, eyes wide open, so big and shining with great wonder and amazement, so innocent that it made him look like a child. In that moment Artegor realized that it was precisely who Sinedd really was- still just a child. A vicious and angry one, but still a kid. He couldn't be older than fifteen. For the first time he saw the boy as something more than just a player, another pawn on the field. Suddenly he felt like a drug dealer selling a hit to jejune schoolboys. Were he a better man, he would have withdrawn his hand and offered the kid a lift to the academy. But unfortunately he was not a better man, not anymore and not yet. Watching as that childlike face disappears under the mask of distrust and hostility Nexus caught a last glimpse of brilliant rich violet still burning in Sinedd's eyes. The boy didn't move for a what seemed like a very long time, considering his options. He eyed Artegor's hand and after a moment of hesitation took it. Even after that he still wasn't sure whether he found the other side of the rainbow or made a pact with the devil.
„Very well," said Artegor in a light tone. "We will leave Akillian at once, there is no time to waste. Training, training… The ship to the Shadow Archipelago is already waiting." He pushed Sinedd in front of him and they started walking. Sinedd felt a little light headed, everything was happening so fast, too fast… but that's exactly what he wanted, right?
"H-hey, wait! What about Aarch an-"
"No matter, don't expect him to worry about you."
"And the orphanage, I need to ask the-"
"I'll take care of that."
"My stuff…?" Sinedd asked weakly, feeling as if the world were spinning around him faster and faster.
"Leave it. We'll get everything you need once we arrive at the Archipelago," Artegor didn't want to waste more time, there were only two days left before the next match against the Pirates. Sinedd silently walked beside him. Slowly he turned back and looked at where he has left his snowboard. He wouldn't need it anymore, there would be no snowboarding on the rocky hills in the Underground of the Shadow Archipelago. The snowboard was buried in the snow, half of it poking out like a tombstone. Tombstone of Sinedd, the Snow Kid.
"Don't think about it as charity boy," said Artegor in a low voice as they reached his vehicle. He needed to make few things clear, "or about me as your friend. Players are just pawns on the pitch and right now you are needed, as you are a valuable tool I know how to use properly. I'll use you to accomplish my goals the same way you will use me to get a chance to change your life," for better, he thoughtas he looked at his skinny protégé, another thing we'll have to work on. "But keep in mind that an unneeded and useless tool is worthless, good enough to be thrown away. Always remember that, my boy."
They sat in the vehicle in silence letting the words sink in. The main computer recognized the owner and Artegor started the engine. Sinedd wasn't surprised by his words, he didn't expect anything else from this man. And he didn't mind, the last thing he needed was another dumb adult pretending to care when in reality they didn't give a damn about him. It seemed even better for Sinedd, from what he saw of the Red Tigers, apart from being pathetically weak, was that they were playing roughly, that they were ready to kick some asses if needed. He liked that, it was more familiar to him than all that teamwork shit Aarch was so full of. From now on things would be different.
"You should also remember one thing," Sinedd said suddenly.
It was only the beginning of his journey. In the end all worked out how he wanted to- another football club wanted to take him in. Somebody actually wanted him. And not just any club, but a club with one of the strongest teams in the GF Cup. For the first time in his life he was going leave Akillian, his home planet, a place of which he held not a single good memory. He was moving forward, leaving everything behind. Not that he had anything in the first place. There would be no regrets. He had gotten himself into something big and has made the right decision, he was sure of that. Whatever the future might bring, terrible or wonder (and knowing his luck Sinedd was sure there would be far more 'terrible' than 'wonder'), he will pull through it. He will be the best. He'll show D'Jok who's the best striker around here. He'll show Aarch, all those puny Snow Kids, everyone who had called him worthless, a nobody, who had treated him like trash. He will show them all.
But if everything was turning out for the best…
"I'm not 'your boy'"
… why did it feel like an ending?
A/N: I reuploaded it again, made some corrections and all. Hope you like it! English isn't my native language so sorry for all mistakes, I tried my best. I'm still thinking about writing more chapters, I dunno... time will tell :)
Cheers!