Christmas and the Snow Globe

by Miranda River

Josh and Donna's first Christmas, pre-canon.

Merry Christmas! To all my readers who partake in the tradition, and happy holidays to everyone. I wanted to get this out much earlier, but I'm afraid that work got in the way of that goal. So, think of this as the present that one discovers hiding behind the tree. I hope you like it.

"Is there any reason why the transition offices couldn't be in some place warmer, say, Alaska?!" Josh yelled to no one in particular.

"Because the President-elect is from New Hampshire? Besides, it's not even below freezing," Donna told him.

"You're basically from the Ice Kingdom itself. Your opinion is thus disregarded."

"Go get some coffee. It'll warm you up."

"Remind me again why you're not getting me coffee?"

"Because, as senior assistant to the heir apparent of the position of Deputy Chief of Staff, it is not in my job description."

"I just added it."

"And I just got rid of it."

Josh narrowed his eyes. "You're fired."

"Since I hired myself, I believe I'm the only one with the authority to fire me," Donna told him.

Josh stared her. "I have a law degree from Harvard and yet that made sense to me," he said to himself.

"Hey, if you're going to get yourself coffee, can you get me some, too?"

"Donnatella Moss, you have a lot of nerve asking for coffee."

"An abundance of nerves is part of my charm."

Josh shook his head. "I'm getting coffee. Maybe if I walk around, the blood will start flowing and I'll feel warmer."

"Get me some, too!" Donna called.

Josh sighed and rolled his eyes. This stupid office was as cold as it was outside, the weather said it was going to snow some more and Donna was leaving tomorrow to spend Christmas with her family, before meeting Josh a few days before they were supposed to be down in D.C. For the actual transition. It was bothering him, for reasons that he didn't really want to get into, that he really didn't have the time to get into.

"Hey, Josh," Sam greeted.

"Hey, Sam."

"Are you on your way to get coffee?"

"How did you know?"

"I heard you and Donna flirting."

"Flirting?"

"Yeah. What you call arguing. Or bantering. Personally, I like bantering, but for the most part every one else calls it flirting."

"We're not flirting!"

"Yeah. Okay."

"She's going to be working under me. It'd be highly unprofessional."

Sam looked like he'd die from laughing.

"What in the hell are you laughing at?"

"I liked the double entendre."

"What...?"

"Repeat what you just said."

"She's going to be working...oh."

"See?"

"You have a very dirty mind, Sam."

"It's CJ's eggnog."

"CJ has eggnog?"

"Yeah. I think she spiked it with the bottle of Jack Daniels that Toby doesn't know I know he has stashed in his desk."

"And we're going to be running the country. That fathoms me," Josh said.

"Stop being such a fuddy-duddy."

"A what?"

"A fuddy-duddy. Someone who doesn't appreciate holiday cheer, in this case."

"Fuddy-duddy is a Donna word."

"A what?"

"A Donna word."

"Of course."

"They're words Donna uses that I'm pretty sure aren't actually words."

"Josh, I'm a speech writer. Don't you think I know which words exist and which don't?"

"Doesn't mean it can't also be a Donna word."

"Does she know about this?"

"Yes. I tell her all the time."

Sam just laughed. "You're going to be a miserable jerk when she's on vacation."

"Yeah," Josh said quietly. "I know."

He walked back to his office, watching Donna organize his desk. He still marveled at the fact that she came back, couldn't shake the feeling that she left him, not the campaign, but him, personally, and didn't she realize that he was trying to do something here? That he really didn't need the feeling of never wanting to get out of bed when he had fifty things to do?

Now she was back with him-with the campaign, going on eight months now. He really should give her something, to commemorate their anniversary. It sounded stupid even in his head.

"Would it kill you to keep this desk in order, even if it's just for a couple of hours?"

"Probably."

"Did you get me some coffee?"

He realized he forgot the coffee. "No. I forgot."

"You forgot?"

"I was talking to Sam."

"And you're not intelligent enough to get coffee and talk at the same time?"

Josh didn't answer her. "Get your own coffee."

"Fine," she huffed, walking out of his office.

He walked around to look at his desk. An hour ago he couldn't see the bottom of it, and now all the folders were in order, with post it notes arranged on his desk by importance.

He really didn't know how he survived without her.

"I'm not very sure how you did, either," Leo said dryly.

"Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes."

"Huh."

"She's leaving tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, something about going to see her family."

"It is the holidays, Josh."

"Yeah, I know."

"You should be nice to her. She does a lot for you."

Josh sighed. "I know, Leo."

"She's able to keep you in check."

"Is this going to turn into a list of my short comings?"

"God knows how she's able to do it."

"Thanks, Leo."

"My point, Josh, is you've lost her once. Don't do so again."

"It wasn't my fault the first time!"

"Did you stop her?"

"It's not like I could, she left before I had a chance to say anything."

Leo considered it. "True. I would hope, then, you would do everything in your considerable power to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Where's this going, Leo?" Josh thought back to what Sam said about him and Donna flirting, even though they weren't and Sam didn't know what he was talking about, but this conversation with Leo was just way too weird.

"Stop thinking, Josh. Just consider this an old man just talking."

Leo chuckled to himself. "Are you at least going to see your mother over the holidays?"

"I don't really have the time, Leo, you know that."

"Josh, you can take a couple of days to go visit your mother. It's the holidays. Take a break."

"Yeah, okay."

"The President-elect is going up to his farm for the holidays, so we're having a wrap-up meeting in an hour."

"Okay."

Leo walked out, smiling to himself. Josh sat down at his desk, reading a couple of things Sam wanted him to look over, then a memo on something or other that he wasn't quite sure why it warranted his attention.

Donna came in, not even bothering to knock on the door.

"I brought you eggnog."

"You won't bring me coffee but you'll bring me eggnog?"

"It's different."

"Of course it is."

"I actually need to ask you a favor."

"What's that?" Josh said with a grin. Know he knew why she got him eggnog.

"Can I leave a little early? I have a couple of other things to pack."

"Sure."

She paused. "Really? Or is this just more of your sarcasm? Most of the time I'm able to pick it up, but I think you're actually serious."

"I am serious. Leave whenever you'd like."

She smiled that smile that made him think he just conquered the world. "Thanks, Josh."

"You're welcome."

She left, humming Christmas music on her way out. Someone in the communications office had the Christmas radio station on, probably Sam, since he had this thing about Christmas music. He listened to it the day after Thanksgiving, which Josh found ridiculous. It wasn't even December yet and Sam would listen to Christmas music.

He busied himself until the meeting, in another part of the building that Josh thought was colder than the staff offices, if that was the least bit possible.

"Of course, you are all invited to come to the farm for Christmas, we've become family during this campaign, even to the point of hating each other because we've spent so much time together," Bartlet told them.

"Thank you, sir," they all murmured more or less in unison.

"Is there any other business, Leo?" Bartlet asked.

"No, sir."

"Good. Happy holidays, everyone."

"Thank you, sir."

They got up and left.

"Did anyone else think it was colder in there than the offices?" CJ asked.

"It was unbelievably cold," Sam answered. "I wished I had some of your eggnog."

"I don't think the President-elect would appreciate if we all showed up to the end meeting completely drunk in an effort to stay warm," CJ answered.

"You spiked the eggnog?" Toby asked. "With what?"

"Your stash of Jack Daniels you think is a super secret but in reality everyone knows about," CJ answered.

"Do you plan to replace it?"

"No, but at least I now know what to give you as a gift."

"How come you don't call this flirting?" Josh asked Sam.

"Because Toby is married and I think CJ could kill me with her bare hands," Sam answered.

"Hey, I think it's snowing!" CJ said excitedly.

"Big surprise, in New Hampshire," Toby grumbled.

"You're a grinch."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, a grinch."

"You're a rather strange woman."

CJ stuck her tongue out at him.

"Well I'm going to enjoy it. You might like the snow, but some of us haven't gotten the opportunity to enjoy it."

"And some of us have a country to prepare for. I'm going to work on the inauguration. Sam?"

"Coming," Sam said woefully. He had wanted to get out early, but it looked like Toby was going to make him work late, again.

"What about you, Josh? Are you going to enjoy the snow or be like the rest of the grinches and stay inside?" CJ asked.

"I'm going to work on a couple of things and try to get out of here early. I'm driving to Connecticut tomorrow and visit my mom over the weekend."

CJ looked at him for a moment, then realized he was serious. "Good for you, Josh. How is she doing?"

"Good, good. She's thinking of moving to Florida. A few of her friends moved there and she doesn't like winters in Connecticut any more."

CJ nodded sympathetically. "Have a good time, Josh."

"Thanks."

He walked back to his desk. Donna was at hers, typing.

"Hey, weren't you supposed to have left by now?"

"Yeah, I was waiting for the snow to clear up."

"I don't that's going to happen any time soon."

"I know. I just don't like driving in the snow."

"Do you want me to drive you?"

She smiled. "Thanks, but I'm fine. I heard you telling CJ you're visiting your mom?"

"Yeah, I thought it'd be a good idea."

"You mean Leo browbeat you into taking a vacation."

Josh's eyes turned into silver dollars. "How did you know?"

Donna laughed. "Because Leo stopped by and wanted to know if you had taken his advice."

"Oh."

"That was a lot more exciting in your head, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"I don't have psychic powers. Don't be a yutz."

He walked back to his office. "I'm leaving early. C'mon, I'll walk you out."

"Thanks."

He gathered a couple of things he'd read before he went to bed, putting everything else on his desk for later.

"Coming?" Donna asked him. She had her stuff already in a tote bag, bundled up in a winter coat and a hat that was way too big for her.

"Yeah," he shrugged into his own coat, shoving the papers into his backpack and following her out.

The snow swirled around them and it was really rather pretty. She was really rather pretty, with the street lights casting shadows on her face, making her eyes seem twice as large, the snowflakes sticking to her eyelashes and her hair and, for not the first time, he wanted to kiss her. (The first time was at a fund-raiser, when she wore this spectacular dress and they danced, and, yes, he had too much champagne. He didn't kiss her, though he might have tried to, the champagne blurred everything. He wanted to think, though, if he did kiss her, he'd at least remember it.)

"How are you getting to the airport?" he asked her suddenly.

"Driving," she told him, as if if was the most obviously thing in the world.

"Donna, you can't just park your car in the parking lot and leave it there."

"Why not?"

"Because. People could break into it."

"Who would break into a 1988 volvo?"

"Bad people."

Donna rolled her eyes. "My car and I will be fine, Josh."

"Donna," he said quietly. "Let me take you to the airport."

"Okay," she said. "Thanks," Donna got into her car.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"What time should I pick you up tomorrow?"

She thought for a second. "Will seven be okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you then."

He watched her drive away, grinning to himself. He got into his own car, driving to the hotel where he was staying. It was like every other hotel where he stayed, nondescript watercolors on the wall, generic wallpaper and carpet, hell, even the same people at the check-in desk. This one, though, had a souvenir area, the stupid things like snow-globes and coffee mugs.

He should get her something, he thought. Something generic but still something. She had to know that he wouldn't be able to function if it wasn't for her. She had to know all the things he couldn't tell her.

He wandered through the gift store, wondering if there was such a thing as a present for your assistant who was so much more than an assistant.

Then he saw it. A cheesy snow globe that had a snowman and skiers, since that was, apparently, the state sport. A fact he knew thanks to President-elect Bartlet who enjoyed lecturing the senior staff and really any one who would listen on the inane state facts about Hew Hampshire. Now Josh knew way too much about New Hampshire.

Donna would love it. He'd give it to her before she left.

He went to his room, grinning at his cleverness and awesome gift-giving abilities. He turned on the television, hoping to catch a baseball game or something. He didn't even bother getting out of his Harvard sweatshirt and jeans, he'd probably end up wearing them tomorrow, so what was the point of taking them off, anyway? He flopped on the bed, ready to watch a baseball game and read a couple of things that would hopefully put him to sleep.

He woke up the the sound of pounding on his door. The television was still on, and the memo he was trying to get through still in his lap. He would really need to talk to same on the necessity of brevity in memos. He opened the door, thousands of things running through his head-the President-elect was sick, his mother was sick, Leo was in the hospital, Donna-

Who was apparently at his door.

"Donna," he said, stepping aside to let her in.

"They canceled my flight!" she said, close to tears.

"What? Why?"

"Josh, did you not notice that New Hampshire is in the middle of a blizzard now?"

"Not really, no."

"Oh," Donna said. "Did I wake you?"

He glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table. 5:30.

"Yeah, you did."

"Sorry," she said, blushing. "I really am. I didn't want you going out in this weather thinking that you had to pick me up, which is really sweet, by the way, though wholly unnecessary, and the roads are really bad and I'd hate for you to get into an accident and I think CJ and Sam and Toby and Leo and the President-elect would probably kill me for killing you not even a month before inauguration and-"

She was really cute, completely flustered and her eyes shining and her hands flying everywhere and while he would prefer to stop her tangent by kissing her, he still had a modicum of sense left in him, so he instead put a finger to her lips.

"Donna, as fascinating as I'm finding this prattling of yours to be, shut up."

She did.

"Good," Josh reluctantly removed his finger, ran his hand through his hair and started to pace. "Can you get another flight out of here?"

"Not until the 26th."

She looked so put out that he wanted to march to the airport and demand they give her a ticket on the next flight out of here. It was cute, in a way, the way her bottom lip stuck out and she looked like she was about to cry. He didn't want her to cry, but she looked pretty when she did and there was something about her that made him want to help her, hold her and protect her from everything that was conspiring against her.

"Have Christmas with me, then," he said suddenly.

"What?"

"Have Christmas here, the Jewish way. We'll have Chinese food and watch terrible television."

She gave him a shaky smile. "Okay."

He yawned. "I need coffee."

"Doesn't your hotel have room service?"

"Yeah, but they never make it right. I usually get some on my way out to work. I'll go get some."

He hesitated before walking out. "Don't leave," he said. It was irrational, but he had this fear that she wouldn't be there when he came back.

She looked at him quizzically. "Where would I go, exactly?"

He grinned at her. "I meant don't leave the bed."

It was risqué, to be sure, but he couldn't resist, and there was no one around to hear them, no one to tell him that it was the wrong thing to say to your assistant.

He came back up with coffee, remembering, on his way up, that he had that snow globe to give her.

She was still on his bed and his stomach flipped at the thought that she stayed there for a reason, that there was a a glimmer of hope that he wasn't this pathetic loser who quite possibly had a crush on his assistant.

"I brought coffee. I know it's not wholesome mid-western food, but it's something."

She smiled. "It's lovely."

"I really am sorry, you know. I know how much you wanted to see your parents."

"Thank you."

They sat in silence for a while and Josh marveled at the fact that they were able to sit there in comfortable silence, sipping coffee while sitting in bed. He really wanted to do this, over and over again.

"Aren't you going to visit your mom today?"

"Yeah, but I'll just call her and tell her I can't make it till tomorrow. She wouldn't want me driving in this anyway."

Donna nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's no big deal."

"Josh, it's your mother. Of course it's a big deal."

"She'd understand. I'll go up tomorrow and spend the weekend with her. Problem solved."

"Tell her I'm sorry."

"I wasn't aware that you started the blizzard."

"You know just as well as I do that you're using that as an excuse."

"No I'm not, I am truly concerned about the state of the roads."

"You're being sweet, thank you."

Josh felt like he was blushing. "Come on, let's find some terrible show to watch."

Of course Donna stole the TV changer, flipping through the channels, finally settling on a Lifetime Christmas movie.

"Oh come on, Donna. Pick something else."

"No."

It was a romantic comedy, a bad one, with writing that would have made Toby kill himself. He let her keep it on though, mostly because she was leaning up against him and had her head on his shoulder.

"This is a really dumb movie."

"Well, I'm sorry if you can't appreciate the finer qualities of Lifetime movies, but you're just going to have to deal with it."

They watched two more before Josh called the only Chinese take out place in a fifteen mile radius, only to find out they refused to deliver.

"I'm not going out there," Josh said stubbornly.

"Then I'll get something from room service," Donna said.

"They overcharge."

"Well, what do you plan to do?"

"Fine. But you're paying."

She stuck her tongue out, though Josh insisted on paying for room service. They watched "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" while eating grilled cheese sandwiches, the only thing they still had in the kitchen.

"CJ called Toby a grinch yesterday," Josh told her.

Donna laughed. "He really is. Though I don't think he commits burglary and damages people's property all because he hates Christmas."

"No," Josh agreed, "probably not. Though if you get him mad enough he probably would."

"You haven't called your mother yet," she told him.

"I'll call her later." When I'm not in a hotel room without any staff or press or really anyone, except my incredibly beautiful assistant whom I can't have.

Donna pursed her lips. "Call your mother, Josh."

"You're not going to give up on this until I do, right?"

"You got it."

"Okay, fine." He got up, walking over to the phone sitting on the desk.

"Did you organize the desk?"

"Yes. It was a mess. How were you supposed to find anything?"

Josh laughed to himself. He wondered if she would reorganize his brownstone, too, once they got to D.C.

He dialed his mother's number, listening to the rings and watching Donna watching him from the bed.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mom."

"Joshua?"

"Do you have another son I don't know about?"

"You never call."

"I call...sometimes."

"Not recently. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to tell you that I was thinking of coming up for a couple of days, if that's okay."

"Of course it is, Josh. Stay as long as you like. I'll start baking all your favorites."

"Mom, don't start cooking."

"Not another word out of you, young man. That sweet girl, Donna, tells me what you eat. I'm going to make sure you get actual food for the next couple of days. When are you coming?"

"I was going to come today, but the roads are really bad and the flights out of New Hampshire are canceled. So Donna and I are spending the day in my hotel room and watching movies."

"She's all alone on Christmas?"

"She's not completely alone, Mom. She's got me."

"I meant family, Josh. You know, the people that are your blood relations and you visit on holidays? Those people?"

"Yeah, Mom, I know the definition of family. And she's going up the 26th, weather permitting."

"Well, if she can't, then tell her to come up with you. I'd love to meet her."

"Okay, Mom. I'll see you soon."

"Okay, honey. I love you."

"Love you, too, Mom, bye."

"You're invited to my house, apparently."

"Oh, tell your mother thank you for me. That was very sweet of her."

"She likes you."

"I'm a very likable person," Donna said very seriously.

"It's your mid-western charm."

She nodded decisively. "I know."

"She calls you "that sweet girl, Donna".

"That's cute."

He settled back down with her to watch the rest of "It's A Wonderful Life", which they came in half way through.

"Why are there so many Christmas movies?" Josh asked.

"So people have things to watch instead of talking to their relatives," Donna told him.

"What?"

"Christmas is when everyone gets together, but it's not you really have anything to talk about, because they've all gotten the family letter in the Christmas card and they really don't need to hear about how little Johnny is doing in kindergarten. So they get together to open presents, eat and watch TV. It's the American way."

"That's so...sad."

Donna shrugged. "At least I don't have to hear Aunt Maria ask me why I haven't married yet. She's still disappointed about Chris."

"Dr. Freeride?!" Josh screeched.

"Yeah."

"But...he was a jerk. Why would your aunt want you to marry him."

Donna smiled wryly. "He's a doctor, Josh. Who wouldn't want to marry a doctor."

"I would rather marry someone I loved."

"Josh, you love politics. You can't really marry a profession, though to your credit you're trying awfully hard."

"I wouldn't say that," Josh said quietly.

They stared at each other for what seemed like minutes, the credits rolling on "It's a Wonderful Life" and it felt like the heat was suddenly ninety degrees and the air was thick and he couldn't really breathe anymore. Her mouth was so damn close and it was only them and Josh wondered what that planet was that people kissed under, mistletoe, wasn't it, and why did he have some so at least he had an excuse.

Donna broke the magic and he wanted to groan. She looked past him to the bedside table.

"I should probably get going, I still have to get a another flight," she said shakily. He hoped that the tremolo in her voice was because she was as affected as he was, that she couldn't breathe and had knots in her stomach all because of a look.

He ran his hands through his hair. "Yeah, sure." He had to get it together. He couldn't kiss his assistant. He couldn't fall for his assistant.

"At least let me give you a ride. I don't think your car could make it."

"Hey, my car is very loyal."

"I'm sure it is. Yet loyalty is not going to help you when there's a ton of snow outside."

She rolled her eyes. "Is this some weird male thing?"

"Will it get you to humor me if you accept that reason?"

She smiled that smile that meant that she was trying to hide it, that she didn't want him to see it. "Alright, then. Let's go. You'll need your coat, though."

As he shrugged it on, he felt the snow globe that was still in his pocket that he forgot to take out. He panicked for a second, worried that she wouldn't like it, or worse, she'd give him the "this was really nice, Josh, but let's not get ahead of ourselves" talk. Maybe he could just brush it off and tell her it was no big deal, even laugh it off and have his pride remain slightly intact.

It wasn't snowing anymore, though there was roughly two feet of snow on the ground, covering everything in sight. Josh could hear snows trucks plowing and sanding the streets.

"It's pretty, you know?" Donna said. "I don't think D.C. gets snow on Christmas. I'm going to miss it."

"We'll always have New Hampshire," Josh joked.

They got into his freezing car, which Josh fervently hoped would heat up. The silence was suddenly uncomfortable and Josh suddenly wished that he hadn't offered to drive her back, that he hadn't looked at her and realized that he was attracted to his assistant and most of all that he didn't want to kiss her desperately.

Her hotel wasn't nearly as nice as his, it was across town in a seedy part of town, but she stubbornly refused to have him get her a room across from his, now that she was on payroll. It reminded him of a hotel out of the film noir that his father used to watch.

It started to snow by the time they got out, he pulled his collar up as a sudden gust of wind blew. He made sure to lock his car, double checking just in case. He followed her through the door, just to make sure she got in safely and to let people know this wasn't just some girl they could potentially hurt. Someone cared about her, someone would go to the ends of the earth to kill the bastards that did anything to her.

She slid the key through the door and turned to him once it turned green.

"Thanks, for staying with me."

He shrugged. "You saved me from reading memos all day. I should probably be thanking you."

"Remember to visit your mother tomorrow. Don't spend the day doing work."

He smiled. "I promise. You can even remind me tomorrow when I pick you up to take you to the airport."

"You really don't have to."

"I want to. Besides, we've already had this discussion."

Donna sighed. "You're very stubborn."

"You're just noticing that?"

"No, but every day it becomes more apparent."

She turned to go inside, opening her mouth to say goodbye when he interrupted.

"I have something for you," he held out the snow globe like an offering.

"Oh, Josh, it's so cute!" She shook it, watching as the snow fell inside the globe.

"Skiing is the state sport," he told her, "I thought it would be appropriate, considering this is New Hampshire, and as I said, we'll always have New Hampshire when you miss having a white Christmas and I thought I should get you something, since it's Christmas and-"

Donna grabbed the lapels of his jacket and kissed him. "Josh, as fascinating as I'm finding this prattling of yours to be, shut up," she whispered against his lips.

He groaned, loving the fact she was quoting him and kissed her, pushing her through the door, ignoring the voice shouting at him that he couldn't come back from this, that once he and Donna had slept together, there was going to be hell to pay. He didn't care, he was willing to pay it.

She was moaning into his mouth and he wondered how it was that he had lasted this long without kissing her. She was tugging at his coat, trying to get it off of him, placing the snow globe on a table before she continued her task of taking his coat off.

He busied himself with running his fingers across her face, down her cheeks, memorize every detail of her face by touch.

She fingered the hem of his sweatshirt breaking off the kiss. "Should we be doing this?" she said breathlessly.

He wanted so very much to tell her yes, unequivocally yes, but he couldn't. He knew what people would say, knew what would happen to him and more importantly what would happen to her if they let this happen.

"I want to," he whispered. "But that's not enough."

She kissed him again, not as a prelude to sex, but rather a slow kiss meant to be savored by itself, a symphony onto itself. He kissed her back, hoping that she would be able to tell in his kiss that there were so many things he couldn't say, how very much he wanted these circumstances to be different.

"We'll always have New Hampshire," she told him.

She showed him the door and he kissed her cheek before telling her good night.

He wasn't able to sleep that night, unable to get the feel of her out of his head nor the smell of her out of the sheets. He tried to read, including the biography on John Adams that he kept with him at all times, yet his mind wandered, refusing to leave the few minutes with her that were permanently imprinted into his memory.

Morning came to early and he debated with himself as he took a shower, got coffee and drove to her hotel whether or not he should, or if it would be too raw, too real still the can of worms he opened up.

He knocked on the door to the room, her room and wondered if the words he had rehearsed would actually come out like he planned.

After what felt like an eternity, she opened the door.

"You came," she said, surprised.

"I wasn't about to let you leave your car at the airport," he told her, his voice sounding hoarse to him and he hoped she didn't notice.

"Let me get my bags," she said, motioning for him to come in.

She grabbed the overnight bag and the suitcase she had over in a corner. He took note that the snow globe wasn't on the table and he hoped that she put it in her bag, that she would want to keep it.

"It's in my bag," she told him quietly and he realized that she noticed that he was staring at the table where she put it last night. "It's a lovely gift, Josh."

"It's nothing," he muttered, shrugging.

"It's the best gift anyone's ever gotten me," she told him. "Better than the beer stein Dr. Freeride gave me last year."

"A beer stein?" Josh said comfortably distracted. "That's something you give a frat brother, not a girlfriend. Even I know that."

"See, and that's why you're the better boyfr-you're the better man than Dr. Freeride."

He smiled, the look on his face so sad that she wanted very much to kiss him and make it better.

"About last night-" he began.

"Josh," she said quietly. "Don't-"

"It was stupid, I'm sorry I-"

"I'm not."

"What?"

"I'm not sorry. But we can't, and we both know this, so why torture ourselves with it?"

"Yeah," he took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah."

"We should get to the airport."

"Yeah."

She smirked, despite the distinct feeling that her heart was breaking. "Is that all you're going to say or are you going use part of that 760 verbal score I keep hearing about?"

He smiled. "Let's get in the car before they decide to cancel your flight again."

The silence was comfortable again and they were even able to talk about the little things, like airplane food and office stuff.

He parked in the parking lot, refusing to just drop her off. Her flight was on time, and she checked her bags with a few minutes to spare before boarding.

"So I guess this is good-bye," Donna said.

"I hate good-byes," Josh said stubbornly. "I'll see you in a couple of days."

"Yes, you will. And I'm sure in that time your desk will look like a hurricane ran through it and I'll spend the morning cleaning it."

"It shouldn't be that bad, I will be gone for a couple of days," he reminded her.

"Right. Tell your mom I said hi."

He nodded. "I will. Don't get stuck in Middle America. I don't want to have to come get you."

"I promise."

They stood there awkwardly, both realizing they were well pass the point of the brief hug of friends and not to the point of the prolonged hugs of lovers.

"Thanks, for everything," she said.

He pulled her into a hug, forgetting the time limit, forgetting everything. "You're welcome," he told her, releasing her.

He watched as she walked to board her plane, realizing exactly how long four years was going to be.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered.