So I have no business writing this fic because I have no idea what conversation gets them to this point and I can never find a way to contribute much thoughtful discussion to the Shamyanalysis on Fanforum and Tumblr, so this isn't going to be as deep and drawing from subtle callbacks in episodes and everything as I know lots of other Shamyfics are, so basically I'm going to stop rambling and admit that this fic has no beginning and that I'm super insecure about writing Shamy but I got this plot bunny after seeing the promo for the episode this Thursday and I had to write something.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Necessary backstory: The promo implies that Sheldon may be willing to sleep with Amy in the future. So somehow, down the road, Sheldon and Amy have decided to do it. Because I have no real beginning, this just skips to them sitting on Amy's bed, kissing.
"Um, wait," Sheldon said suddenly, jumping up and skittering like a nervous mouse to a few feet away.
"What's wrong?" Amy asked, putting her hands in her lap and watching him.
"Nothing, just…just suddenly got an idea for my research, you know, unraveling the mysteries of the universe. Something I'm good at. Science, intelligence, I have an I.Q. of 187, you know."
"Yes," Amy said. "I know. What does that have to do with this?"
He turned – sort of – so she could see his profile, and then his head moved in her direction, although he still averted his eyes. "Well, I'm good at that. It's been so long that I've been new at something," Sheldon said, looking embarrassed. "I don't know how to handle it."
"Well," Amy said, "you're admitting that you don't know. That's a start."
"Amy Farrah Fowler, if you make any more comments like that you'll remind me of my mother and then we definitely won't be able to do this," Sheldon said, looking down at the floor.
"Sheldon," Amy said, scooting to the middle of the bed and stretching out on her back. "Just come here."
"No, no, I don't think so," Sheldon said, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets and shaking his head. "I don't have a clue what I'm doing. Maybe you'd rather have Leonard. He seems to work out well for Penny."
"Sheldon," Amy said, sounding annoyed.
"Amy?" Sheldon responded. It didn't seem like Amy had said his name rhetorically, but he didn't have much to go on.
Amy sat up and looked at him with her eyebrows raised. "Why would I want to do this with Leonard?"
"Well," Sheldon said, "while inferior to me in all other areas of life, I have to admit that he does have more experience than me in this area. Which quite frankly, I have far superior intelligence so I've never minded if he wanted the title for coitus."
"Sheldon," Amy said. "Remember when we met, and the thing that made you offer to buy me a beverage was me flat out stating that we would never do this?"
"I remember everything," Sheldon said. "Of course I would remember that."
"Well what changed," Amy said, getting off the bed and standing next to him, "was you. I don't want to do this with Leonard, or Howard…"
"Whoa now," Sheldon said, turning to face her, "who said anything about Howard?"
"My point," Amy said, "is that I want to do this because it's you."
"That doesn't make sense," Sheldon said. "Who would rather work with a high school algebra professor over Isaac Newton? Wait!" he said before Amy could answer. "Not Isaac Newton. We're talking about Leonard here. He'd be more like…Leibniz, definitely Leibniz."
"Leonard discovered sex independently of but almost a dozen years after Isaac Newton?" Amy said.
"Now, that's not my point!" Sheldon said indignantly. "That's only applying half the metaphor, it's ridiculous!"
"This is ridiculous!" Amy said.
"Good," Sheldon said. "I'm glad we agree."
"No," Amy said. "I mean this. It's so frustrating, Sheldon! We've been working toward this for so long, we've said we love each other, and now you're trying to pass me off to your roommate, who is in a relationship?"
"I don't want you to have coitus with Leonard," Sheldon said. "You're my girlfriend. If you're going to have coitus, it should be with me."
"I don't plan on doing this with anyone but you. And considering this entire time you've never said you'd prefer to do it with someone else, I think that puts us on the same page." Amy sat back down on the bed. "So the problem is…?"
Sheldon looked at her. "I just explained the problem."
"No, you didn't," Amy said. "I'm new at this too, Sheldon. No matter how many experiments I've volunteered for, it's not the same thing."
"Should two complete rookies be doing this, then?" Sheldon said. "Is that smart for both of us to not know what we're doing?"
"Any partnership has a first time that they work together," Amy said. "Look, Sheldon." Sheldon looked at her. Amy patted the spot next to her. "Sit."
"Okay," Sheldon said agreeably, coming and sitting beside her.
Amy grabbed his hand. "Leonard and Penny both have more experience than us. But Penny's the first girl that Leonard ever actually loved, and as our first date confirmed, Penny's been with plenty of men that she didn't love, if your number of one night stands for her is accurate, which I have no reason to believe it isn't. But you and me?" She smiled. "That's not us."
Sheldon gave her a small smile. "I suppose you make a good point. For someone of your scientific profession." Amy raised an eyebrow at him, and Sheldon, who had learned what that meant, moved on. "As a fellow scientist who doesn't like failures to be noted in public," he started, "you won't be telling anyone of my embarrassing insecurity, I presume?"
"Of course not," Amy said. She leaned over and kissed him, and he kissed her back, putting a hand on her knee.
"I'm used to feeling insecure in some respects," Sheldon said. "Like with sports, or interacting socially with people I don't know, or when I see my right frontal lobe on brain scans…"
"Sheldon," Amy said, kissing him again and placing a hand flat on his chest, "your right frontal lobe isn't small."
Sheldon sighed. "Yes, it is."
"No, it's not," Amy said. "It's plenty big; in fact, it's one of the bigger right frontal lobes I've seen. And believe me, I've seen plenty."
Sheldon leaned back slightly. "You've seen plenty?"
"Brains are my specialty, you know," Amy said. She smiled and dropped her voice slightly. "But none of them are like yours, Sheldon Lee Cooper. You have the most impressive right frontal lobe that I've ever seen."
"Amy Farrah Fowler," Sheldon said, scooting closer to her. "You sure do know how to talk to a man."
Hope that wasn't a complete and utter disaster, but if you do feel the need to take a metaphorical shower and read better fic, then may I recommend the Shamy filters on this site. There's real good stuff there, as I'm sure you all know.
Have a fantazeballs day! Review if you'd like.