Your smile has returned. It's good to see it again.
As I stand here, discreetly observing you in this familiar house, I come to realize how much has changed in seven years. Back then I thought that nothing could ever divide us. But life is surely full of surprises and here we are now. You being larger than life for so many people out there and me watching, not sharing this bizarre time in you life with you. But we are still friends.
When you came back, my life inevitably changed again. It did, even though I rather not confess it to anyone. But you being here changed some things, there's no way of denying that. It took a long time to let you go, to give up on our love, and once I had already gotten used to the idea of not seeing you again, I embraced big changes in my life. I am happy that you are here, of course, and I am happy with my life as well. I guess it was just easier somehow when you were thousands of light-years away. It simply takes a little time to adjust to the idea we are no longer like we used to be, and that we never will. I loved you so much for so long. Decades. I loved you when I was just a child. When I was ten years old, I already knew I would want to marry you one day. I guess that is the reason why there will always be a part of me, which is only yours.
I am not unhappy. I have a wonderful life with my wife who I love tremendously. I can't imagine my life without her. But she is not exactly you. No one is. And what I used to feel for you will always remain as a part of me. I guess it's true that each love is different. I love my wife deeply, but it is different. It is not less, it is not more - merely unlike what I felt when I was with you.
When we first met after these seven years, I was almost blown away. You had changed so much during the time you were gone; Delta Quadrant had definitely left its mark on you. I don't fool myself imagining that I could ever understand what it was like for you to be out there. I will never know. But I know that when you left, you loved life. But when you came back, it seemed like you fought the whole world. You were a fighter, defender. You smiled less and the heaviness of the world seemed to be on your shoulders. There was so little left of that Kathryn I kissed goodbye then.
But now I see that the Kathryn I knew has returned. The smile is back and the familiar spark in your eyes is here again. And I know why. He is near you; your former first officer. He shared that time with you out there. He lived it himself while being by your side.
Did you move on easy? Yes, that question pops into my mind sometimes. It is not that I would still harbor feelings towards you. It's just that you are special to me, you have always been. So I wonder how long did it take for you to give your heart to him? When did you go to him to seek more than just his support during your difficult journey? It shouldn't matter, and it doesn't, but I am curious nevertheless.
I know you appreciated when I did not ask you about him, even though we both knew about the rumors. I sensed you didn't want to share it, at least not then. So we didn't talk about him. But I see it now. You are in love with him and he is in love with you. Your restlessness is gone and you've given up fighting. You love life again. He obviously balances you.
But there is also something else that I see now. He touches your abdomen again. The touch is brief, almost unnoticeable, but it was there. I saw it.
I suddenly realize that I can be genuinely happy for you.
And that I am.