Title: One of these mornings… I'll be dead
Author: Lissy

As Stella woke up, a sunbeam fell on her face. She stood up and opened the window to let fresh air into her room. It was six o'clock, the first day after the weekend. She put on her clothes and went out of her apartment. Before she went to work, she looked in her post box. There was only one envelope in it, and it came from the St. Vincent's Hospital. She knew what it was: the result of her HIV test. She couldn't open it.

She went out of the house, straight to Starbucks for her daily coffee. As she arrived at the lab at 7 o'clock, she was the last one. They had a pretty difficult case about a man who had been found in Central Park without a head. And the head was still missing. The whole team worked in the lab, but Mac was in his office. She knew she had to tell him. As she opened the door, he looked up. "Hey, Stella, what's up?"

"Mac… the ten weeks are over. I got the letter this morning. I didn't open it, because I was not sure if I want to know this. So please open it."

She gave him the letter, and he told her to sit down. He went to his desk, looking for a knife to open the letter.

Meanwhile, Stella looked out of the window.

Mac opened the letter and read the text. His face said all. He was really shocked.

"Stel, please stay calm. It's not a drama…"

"Mac, what does it say inside? I'm HIV+, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are." He showed her the letter so that she could see it.

'They found antibodies in her blood', she read. That said all. She was HIV+. "Mac, I can't do this… I can't live with it. That's too much for me. I don't know how to tell the others… and I don't know how I can do my job well with this. The last ten weeks I've been working for 12 hours everyday to forget what happened. You said I'm strong, but I'm not. Last year the thing with Frankie, and now this. I know, lots of people are living with AIDS, but I can't. I don't know how to live with it, how to be myself with that."

She began to cry. It was too much for her.

Mac stood up from his chair went around the table and sat down next to Stella. "Stel, that's not the end of the world. You'll get the medicine to get AIDS later. We'll tell the team about it, and I promise they'll help you and not pity you. Believe me, please."

"I have to go to Sid. I must tell him that I got the result back and that I've tested positive. I gave him CPR so he has to take a test…"

"Stel, it can wait. The first thing you have to do is to go to the hospital to let them check. Go home, calm down and do your favourite thing. Think about it, call me or another friend and then come back, and we'll talk with the team, okay? Do everything, but don't hurt yourself (too much)."

As Stella walked out of this office, he realized what this diagnosis meant for Stella. He knew he had to be strong and show her the positive ways, but he knew it wouldn't be easy. It was a shock.

Meanwhile, Stella walked to the elevator to drive down to the autopsy to Sid. As she reached the room, she stood behind the door for a few minutes, not really knowing what to do or say.

Peyton opened the door and saw Stella crying. "Hey, Stel! What's up?"

"Nothing… I have to talk with Sid… alone."

"Ah… okay. Wait a minute, I'll go to him and tell him you wait here for him."

"Thanks, Peyton."

Stella sat down on a chair next to the door. A few seconds later, the door opened, and Sid came out. As he saw Stella crying, he knew she got the results back.

"Sid… I got my test today back. I'm HIV+. They found antibodies in my blood… and… and I want you take the test, too. Please. I want to be sure you didn't get it as I helped you. Please."

"Stella… come, stand up." He holds her in his arms, and she cried. All her fear, all the bad things… she knew she wasn't strong enough.

A few hours later:

Stella had decided to take a walk in Central Park. As she reached the playground, she saw all the happy children with their mums. She knew her wish to get a child was over. No man would sleep with a HIV+ woman. And she doesn't want to give her child the risk to be HIV+ from birth. It was a sunny day, and Stella took her jacket off. She saw the scar on her arm and the moment as the glass cut in her arm came back. Her whole life this scar would remind her of the worst day in her life.

In the lab:

The whole team was in the lab to collect every piece of evidence to complete the picture. Mac walked in. "Hey. Please stop your work and come with me in my office. I have something to tell to you."

All of them looked a little bit worried, but they quit their work and went to Mac's office.

"Every one of you knows Stella cut herself at the Emery Gable crime scene. Emery Gable was HIV+, and Stella took a test. She got the result today back. She has tested positive for antibodies. I want you to know that if something happens, you have to help her. And please treat her like the woman she was before this accident. That's important. Any questions?"

tbc.

A/N: I've got six chapters for this story already written and plan to write about ten more. Just so you know, this was written before we found out she tested negative, not that it matters. Please tell me what you think so far. Thanks.