A/N: Well hello everyone! Seeing as how I (CeE CrOwE) and Kerri (many of you may know her from stories such as Adjusting To a New Life and Operation: Pay Back) seem to have a lot of fun making up stupid scenarios about FFX characters and us… I figured we'd post some of it. She wouldn't put it up on her site, something about ruining her reputation as authoress or something.. whatever- Well, it's just supposed to be funny, not make sense, but whatever if you like it that's great
Disclaimer: This has got to be the stupidest thing in the world, of course I own FFX duh… :Kerri's standing behind me: Kerri: excuse! I don't think so:snaps fingers:
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Setting: Group sitting around a fireplace, while Cee (Me!) is sitting on big chair looking cool, telling stories.
Cee:… It's one life's great mysteries, like why Auron doesn't have a right arm.
Ker:rolls her eyes: He does have a right arm, idiot. That's what he holds his sword with.. you're thinking of his left arm... or lack there of.
Auron: I have a left arm, I just like to keep it hidden away in my jacket
Cee and Kay:nod head and say in a motherly 'denial' type voice: Of course you do, honey...
Auron: No really.. here see :waves left arm at girls:
Cee:pushes Auron's left arm out of her face: Don't bother me with your black magic hocus-pocus by waving your imaginary left arm in my face, Auron!
Ker:looks behind Cee and whispers: Don't look now but that couch is coming...
Kimahri: Kimahri not couch
Cee: Right... and Auron has a left arm
Auron :smack himself in head with left arm:
Kimahri: Kimahri is angry
Ker:Pets Kimahri: Aw the fluffy couch is angry..
Kimahri: That it! Kimahri jinx you:casts jinx:
Everyone:blinks: jinx?
Kimahri:laugh evilly: Kimahri lowered your luck
Ker:Blinks before completely freaking: AHHHH I'VE BEEN JINX BY A TALKING COUCH:RUNS WHILE MADLY FLAILING ARMS IN THE AIR INTO WALL.. FALLS:
Cee:winces: That looks like it hurt...
Ker: twitch
Few Hours Later:
Tidus: Wow.. Ker that's horrible, man I wouldn't want someone to cast jinx on me
Ker:snuggling against Tidus: I know.. it was horrible my luck was lowered. but don't worry.. I survived
Rikku:twitching in corner: Did this jinxing involve sugar?
Ker:.. :Looks at Rikku strangely: um no...
Yuna:runs into room and stands in her 'hero pose': Hi everyone!
Ker:rolls eyes and mutters: Great... It's Yuna...
Yuna: Hi Ker:narrows eyes: Why are you and Tidus snuggling?
Ker:Get off of Tidus: Never mind that! Hey, Yuna, some kids are stuck in this dark deep cave.
Yuna:gasps: REALLY WHERE?
Ker:Smirks evilly: On the outskirts of Besaid where no one can hear you scream...
Yuna: I'm on it:Run off to outskirts of Besaid:
Wakka:watches Yuna run off: Isn't that where that big monster that kills heroes lives?
Ker:shifty eyes and speaks innocently: It is?
Wakka: But they have a sign warning you of it. She'll be fine, ya?
Ker:holds sign behind back: ... um.. yea :shifty eyes:
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Cee: Now what I don't get is why you carry that bottle of sake on your waist…
Auron: It calms me..
Cee: Can I have some?
Auron: No!
Cee: please?
Auron: leave me alone, you stupid woman...
ACROSS TOWN
Ker: Oh:sponge bob eyes: what's this?... sa..ke? Sake? what is this:sniffs: eww smells gross... I wonder how it tastes
Auron: Sake senses tingling. I FEEL THE IMMINENT LOSS OF ALCOHOL. :turns and glares at Ker: YOU! FREEZE!
Ker:Wide-eyed: ... umm... Kimahri did it:throws bottle at Kimahri:
Auron:Runs at Ker with Masamune out:
Ker: Shit:runs away… into dark room:
HALF HOUR LATERKer: Oh, Auron, I didn't know you were into that kinda thing….
Auron: Well you learn something new everyday
Everyone:outside of dark room: Oh My… :gasp:
Ker: Oh Auron, that feels sooo good….
Cee: Oh God I can't take this anymore :rushes into room and flips on light to see Auron washing Ker's hair:
Ker:pops head up: Hey guys!
Everyone: huh!
Auron:Narrows eyes: Speak one word of this and I'll kill you all!
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Cee: So, Kimahri… you're a couch?
Kimahri:growls and sharpens spear:
:Kerri comes out of room, he hair looking like a million bucks:
Ker: Hey guys!
Group gathers in awe of her hair.
Tidus: Auron! How come my hair never looks like that!
Auron: Because… you're hair sucks. It's all nappy and dead.
Tidus:Gasp: How could you say such a thing:grabs head and curls into ball and starts to cry:
Cee: Enough Crying:sniffs air: There is an enemy a foot…
Rikku: AHHH! It's on my foot! Kill it:starts hopping around the room like crazy:
Lulu:rubs temples: Will someone do something with her?
Tidus: well.. I guess I could do something… hehe
Yuna:crawling on floor, all beat up: I … :takes deep breath: am back! I did it… saved the day once more
Ker and Tidus: Yuna!
Ker:twitch: You did it! What about the giant killer monster that was supposed to kill you?
Yuna: I took care of it…
Ker: damn it :walks away muttering: Way to waste fifteen bucks…
Rikku:still jumping around while shaking her foot madly:
Cee: WILL SOME ONE STOP THIS INCESSANT HOPPING!
:Enters Final Fantasy IX crew:
Some short kid who looks like he's twelve: I can help!
Everyone turns :blinks:
Lulu: who are you?
SSKWLLHT (Some short kid who looks like he's twelve): My name is Zidane! And this is Garnet and that's Beatrix, and that's :goes on to name another 9 people:
Everyone (except Rikku who is still hopping around like an idiot):snoring
Zidane: um… hello?
Cee: What! I didn't do it! I had nothing to do with the Water Gate scandal I swear! I was sleepwalking!
Zindane: We'll take care of the hopping
Cee: oh… yea sure… whatever… :starts to play poker with her imaginary friend pooka:
Everyone gathers around Cee while Zidane takes care of Rikku. After they get Rikku to stop hopping, the FFIX group goes to Cee for some pay.
Cee: DAMN IT! I LOST AGAIN :throws cards to ground narrows eyes at 'pooka': I hate you…
Tidus: Wow, Pooka can sure play Poker, think you can teach me some things?
Cee:mauls Tidus: SHE'S MY FRIEND NOT YOURS!
Zindane: um, excuse me, but can you pay us now?
Ker: Oh you want more money now? Well no, Yuna is still alive and I said I wanted her.. :looks up to see Zidane staring oddly at her: I mean.. uh… :looks around and whispers: Someone do something with them…
Kimahri: Kimahri take care of them:casts jinx:
FFIX AND FFX plus Cee and Ker:blink blink:
:crickets sound and someone coughs:
Cee:Whispers fiercely: Okay, someone kill Kimahri!
:Seymour enters: :Ker: oh great.. it's the flamboyant one….
Cee: wonderful… just flipping wonderful…'
Seymour: Guys it's hot, I'm gonna take off my shirt ok:takes off shirt:
Cee: AHHH IT BURNS:grabs fork to stab self in eye:
Ker:grabs fork: Oh no you don't I'm doing it first!
FFIX CREW: Ahhh :dies:
Cee: well… that took care of that… :looks at fork then FFIX crew: Who's hungry!
Kimahri:smile: Kimahri hungry… hungry for you, Cee
Ker:tries to stifle laughter:
Cee:turns and glares at Ker: SHOVE IT KER! Or I'll tell Auron!
Ker:pulls out butcher knife: you'll do what!
Cee:swallows hard: uh, nothing?
Auron: tell me what?
Tidus: yea tell him what?
Yuna: Oh can I know too!
Kimahri: Kerri like Auron
Wakka: Say what now!….. ya.
Ker:eye twitches: what the hell:turns and looks at Kimahri: I'LL KILL YOU:lunges at Kimahri:
Tidus: ohhh Kerri and Auron sitting in a tree
Yuna: K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Tidus: First comes
Auron:takes out Masamune and swing it at Tidus: Off Tidus' head… Then off with Yuna's!
Tidus and Yuna: AHHH:Run away from Auron:
Kimahri:holding Ker up over his head while she wildly swing her knife at him: Kimahri no like you
Ker: Die you fluffy Couch DIE!
Seymour: Ker, you like Auron?
Ker:eye twitches and slowly turns her head towards Seymour: Listen Blue boy, I'm in the middle of something….
Seymour:giggles: you like Auron… he's like old
Ker:Pushes of Kimahri and dives at Seymour: I'll kill you little boy blue!
Seymour: Eeep:starts to run:
Ker:runs over to Yuna and knocks her out: Give me your guns bitch! .. Wait… DAMN IT I DID IT WRONG :shrugs: whatever…. :starts running off Seymour again shooting at him: DIE!
Seymour: Oh my! I do believe I've angered her:jumps up to avoid being shot:
Ker: Frig this :throws gun at his head knocking him unconscious: There we go!
Tidus:Runs into Ker: …shit…
Ker:grabs him by the collar: You're next Blondie!
Rikku: I'm blond! Oh me next me next!
Auron:Yuna's slung over his shoulder: Tidus come here…
Tidus:jumps into Ker's arms: help!
Ker: help? Imma kill you!
Tidus: Whatever, just keep me away from him:points to Auron: He does bad things to me in the dark…
Ker:drops Tidus: Ah ewww Get away from me! FREAK!
Tidus:chases her: SAVE ME KERRI PLEASE!
Ker: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh CEE! HELP!
Cee: what to do what to do… Oh I know! I am owner of this… I can control what everyone does including… Kerri…. :laughs evilly and breaks out laptop: Ker:walks over to Auron:
Ker: what the frigg is going on? Why am I walking towards… :gulps: Auron?
Cee:laughs evilly: Ker: Auron, I love you
Ker: Oh my God:turns and glares at Cee: I'll kill you!
Cee: No you won't Ker:jumps into Auron's arms:
Ker: hmm… nice arms… I mean.. wait.. DAMN IT CEE! I'LL GET REVENGE AND I'LL DO IT IN MY STORIES :LAUGHS EVILLY:
Cee: Have fun you too!
Auron:carries away Ker who is screaming obscenities at Cee:
Cee: hm… I'm bored… Ok well.. Till next time! Bye!
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A/N: well, that was fun… hehe I added that last bit with Kerri without her knowing… I wonder how long it'll take till she notices:Here Kerri coming: Shit Ok well review if ya want me to continue I will.. and if ya wanna be in it… juss lemme know in your review and I'll see what I can do.. ok well…. Um… bye!