Ok so im Insanity and this is my first fanfic. as you may know, my stepsis Generation Pope wrote the first set of Vincent chronicles. I came up with alot of the ideas for some of them, but i never actually wrote a story. so here it is. my first story. BE NICE. beware of the bashing of Yuffie, Cid and Sean Desmond.
Chronicles of Vincent Missiles:The Lost Chapters
Chapter 1
Vincent's Invite
Our story begins with Vincent in that crazy crystal cave place where he is trying to talk to the crystallized Lucretia…
"Lucretia, can you hear me?" Vincent hung his head low and whispered to his love.
Vincent…I'm so sorry…"Holy shit! What the hell was that!!!?" Vincent screamed and hid behind a glowing blue rock.
It's me…Lucretia.
"Lucretia? Am I finally hearing you? After all these crazy daydreams?!!!"
Yes… Vincent Valentine…you have contacted me with your love…"Wait…what was that?" Vincent twitched his eye in fury.
I said…"I heard you bitch!!! My name is MISSILES! VINCENT MISSILES!!!!" Vincent was enraged that his one true love did not know about his name change.
But I…" And why are you a crystal?!! No wonder I couldn't hear you before! You can't move your mouth when it's crystallized!!! And look at your outfit! Hello! Ever heard of designer couture! Lab coats were out like a jillion years ago…
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Vincent awoke from his nightmare. He couldn't believe it had happened again. He ran quickly to the phone and dialed the first number that came to his mind.
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.
" Hello?" A very groggy and annoyed Cloud picked up the phone.
"OMG! Cloud I just had that horrible nightmare again!!! The one with Lucretia!!!"
sniff,sniff,cry,cry
"You should have seen her outfit," Vincent said through his sobs, "It was horrible! She didn't even accessorize properly!"
" Okay, okay. Just calm down Vincent. It was only a dream." Cloud said sarcastically, as if he could care less.
"I know but it was still scary," Vincent whined.
"Just go to sleep ok? It was all just a dream." Cloud didn't wait for any reply. Click. He hung up without even saying goodnight.
"That Cloud can be so rude sometimes…" Vincent was cut off by his own yawn. He staggered to his bed and got under the covers (he loved his covers, they had pictures of shopping bags all over them). He weakly whispered goodnight to his parrot Spanky as his eyelids became heavy and he drifted into a deep sleep.
Vincent woke with a smile on his face. He had finished off the night with a good dream that made him forget all about his terrifying nightmare.
In his dream, he and Yuffie had been walking along a steep, narrow path that led up a mountain made of Versace shopping bags. When they got to the top of the mountain, Yuffie tried to hug Vincent but he moved out of the way and she fell straight off the edge to a painful death.
Vincent sat up in bed trying to remember the gory details when he heard a loud growl…his stomach. He got off the bed and stretched out his limbs. He pulled on some semi-clean clothes (you can't expect any better than that when you live in a sty) and sauntered over to his kitchen. The black tiles were covered in old Spanish food and greasy dishes. Vincent scooped up a crusty bowl of enchiladas and dumped the contents into his parrot's food dish. He then ripped a spoon of the cage (causing Spanky to squawk loudly) and poured himself some of his favorite cereal, Spaniche Puffs.
After a few spoonfuls, Vincent was interrupted by a knock on his door (people do this a lot you see). He threw his bowl across the room and it smashed into Spanky's cage. The cage crashed to the ground and Spanky flew out. He was about to fly out the window, but Vincent turned Chaos and shot a fireball at him. His feathers sizzled and he squawked out some smoke as he drifted to the ground and got stuck in some of Vincent's old food.
Vincent turned back and shrugged as if nothing had happened. His visitor banged on the door again, but this time it was with more force.
"I'M COMING!!!" screamed Vincent, in an unusually high voice. He ran over to the door and whipped it open.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" he screamed. Yuffie was standing right outside his door. "I thought you died!…uuuh I mean uhhh…hey ..Yuffie." He managed to cover up badly.
"HEY VINCENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yuffie screamed and Vincent flew across the room. He smashed threw the window at the back of his house and into the backyard. He got up and dusted himself off. He was about to go Chaos and rip Yuffie's ugly face off, when he heard a gruff voice behind him.
"Hey Vince, do you think I could barrow a couple bucks…"
"Hell no I won't give my money you diseased beggar!… oh, sorry Cid, I mistook you for a jobless bum on account of your greasy face-stubble and that thing you chew all the time and your wino redneck accent." Vincent interrupted before Cid could finish his sentence.
"Oh, don't worry about it, happens all the time," Cid said, laughing it off.
"Yeah, I bet it does." Vincent rolled his eyes and walked back to the front of his house through the shattered remains of his back window. When he got back, Yuffie was still fidgeting in the doorway, but some new people had joined her (though Vincent couldn't figure for the life of him why anyone would want to hang with Yuffie).
"OMG, DAVE NEVARRO!!!! Oh…it's just you Reeve," Vincent realized sadly. Reeve was so boring and he had absolutely no fashion sense.
" Hi Vincent, we have a surprise for you!" Reeve said with a big smile on his face. He reached deep into the front pocket of his navy blue dress and handed Yuffie what looked like two concert tickets. She shoved them into Vincent's hands with the stupidest grin on her face.
"What are these?" Vincent said, as he raised an amused eyebrow. He turned the tickets over to see whose show they were for. "OMG," Vincent squealed, "These tickets are for Sean Desmond! I LOVE SEAN DESMOND!"
"I KNOW," Yuffie giggled, " I saw an add in the Midgar Manbag that said he was coming to play right here in Edge! I know you've been kind of bored since you moved back so I wanted us all to hang out! These are for you and me and Reeve, Cloud and Tifa are coming too!"
"OMG, Yuffie, this is GREAT! I just decided not to kill you…I mean uhh…I just decided not to uhh…bill…you……..for being such a good friend! Yeah, that's what I meant to say!" Vincent covered up quickly. He wasn't sure he really wanted to hang with Yuffie, but he had been really bored since he moved back to Midgar. He had wanted a place closer to his friends, but he also wanted to honor his Spaniche heritage, so he moved to the poor Spanish district of Edge.
"It sounds great you guys. It's tonight right?" Vincent had to know when it was so he had time to go shopping for a new party outfit.
Yuffie waved her hand in front of his face to get him out of his daze (he was thinking about the new Prada sweat suits).
"Uhh…yeah Vince, it's tonight. So I guess we'll see you there?" Yuffie said, with a most hopeful look on her face.
Vincent pitied her ugly face so much; he just had to say yes. "Yeah, sure Yuffie, I'll see you guys there." He seriously hoped he wouldn't regret his decision.
"Yes! Ok, catch ya later Mr. Valentine!" Yuffie skipped of so fast she didn't even hear Vincent screaming after her.
"IT'S MISSILES (MEE-SIGH-LESS) YOU STUPID, NINJA-BITCH!!!!"
I had to come up with a newspaper and this just seemed to fit the mood .
Well that was it. i hope u liked and please review! dont worry there will be more...i mean come on, who doesnt want to hear about a Sean Desmond concert! puke ...maybe cloud's emo band can open for him...?????!!!!!!! ; )