Disclaimer: Nope, I definitely don't own Harry Potter, but thanks for destroying those dreams of mine! ;) I also don't own T.S. Eliot's 'Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats.'
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Young Lily and James, as everyone knows,
Are proud and implacable passionate foes;
It is always the same, wherever one goes.
And the other Gryffindors, although most people say
That they do not like fighting, will often display
Every sign of wanting to join in the fray.
And they
Scream yell shriek cry
Oh, how the sound does boom;
Until you can hear them all through the common room.
Now on the occasion of which I shall say
Almost nothing had happened for nearly a day
(And that's a long time for both Lily and James).
Their mediator, Remus, was away from his beat -
I can't say the reason, but most people believe
He'd slipped into the Three Broomsticks for a short reprieve.
There were people scattered all throughout the room,
When Lily, at James, had started to fume.
They did not advance, nor did they retreat,
But they glared at each other and stamped down their feet.
They started to
Scream yell shriek cry
Oh, how the sound does boom;
Until you can hear them all through the common room.
Now dear James, although people may say what they please,
Is no perfect gent, but an arrogant tease.
And so all his friends, when they heard the uproar,
They watched through the windows, or burst through the door;
(There were surely a dozen, more likely a score!)
And together they started to cheer and to holler
As James tried to placate his poor Lily-Flower.
But a terrible din is what Lily does like,
for her manner is that of a spoiled young tyke,
And her friends, much more comfortable working as writers,
When called upon, turned into glorious fighters;
And so they looked on, faces set with a smirk,
As Lily told James that he was an awful, rude jerk.
Then James' dear friends, wanting to join in the brawl,
Ran down from the stairs, and in from the hall.
Joined in
To the din
With a
Scream yell shriek cry
Oh, how the sound does boom;
Until you could hear them all through the common room.
Now when these young students together assembled,
The voices all hushed, and the Gryffindors trembled,
And the first years, so afraid of the older aggressors,
Rushed out from the room to find a professor.
When suddenly, in from the Gryffindor hall,
Why who should storm in, but Professor McGonagall?
Her eyes were quite fearful, with fire did they burn,
As she glared at the crowd, their stomachs did churn.
Young Sirius implored, "It's just in fun, Minnie, my dear!"
(The poor fool was dragged out of the room by his ear.)
And what with the glare of her eyes which was terrifying indeed,
James, Lily, and the Gryffindors quickly took heed.
Lily glared at the crowd, while James tried not to smirk,
And immediately, the students all returned to their work.
(A lament for dear Sirius, condemned to detention every day;
But ask him what he thinks, and he'll say 'twas a small price to pay!