A/N: This is just a little ficlet I came up a little too early in the morning. Enjoy!
Shout-outs to everyone at EPOCH~Twilight - Magsy the Merpire loves you all!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. If I did, then I would be publishing this on Stephenie Meyer's website, wouldn't I?
Edward sat at the corner table, idly stirring the cappuccino he had bought as to not look too out of place. The cafe was nearly empty, yet the tattooed and pierced teenager seemed too busy to notice anything. Where the hell is Leah? This is the third time this week. My shift was over twenty-three effing minutes ago, and I definitely need to write my term paper. If she doesn't show up soon, I swear...
Edward turned away, ignoring the girl's internal rant. He had his own problems - the wolf was keeping her late again, wasn't he? It was getting even harder to put up with the dog - and Bella seemed to think that he could grow to mildly like the creature! Sometimes he pitied the naive innocence of her human mind.
The little bell hanging over the door tinkled slightly at the exact moment that the tempting scent of freesia mixed with the odor of wet dog hit his nose. He looked up, grinning at the human and trying to tolerate the other. Both made their way to the table as Edward stood, sliding out the chair nearest to him. The human smiled as she sat down. "Thanks, Edward," she said.
"L-Cullen," said the other, nodding to recognize the vampire's presence. Leech. The dislike in his voice was obvious; thankfully, the dislike was returned.
"Black," Edward replied, forcing a smile.
"It's nice to see the two of you tolerate each other," Bella mumbled, obviously disheartened by their reactions.
"Remind me why I'm here," the dog stated, glaring into Edward's topaz eyes. Bella looked down, tracing the woodgrain on the table with her delicate fingers.
"Well... I was thinking that... maybe... I could get the two of you to get along," she said, stuttering a little.
"How?" the vampire and the wolf asked simultaneously, causing both to shudder.
Bella's face lit up in a grin. "I have a plan." She lifted her purse - obviously an Alice selection - onto the table. She dug into it, trying to find her way around the insides of the bag. "One minute." She sighed impatiently, mumbling something that sounded quite like "Alice, I am never letting you buy me a monster bag like this one ever again."
Black chuckled. "Issues?"
"Yes," she replied, her voice an adorable imitation of a snarl. Her face lit up as she pulled a box out of her purse. The dog saw the label before the vampire. His eyes grew wide in mock terror.
"Cotton balls?"
"Cotton balls," Bella confirmed. She popped the box open, taking four of the white puffs into her palm. "If you won't get along by yourselves, it's time to take drastic measures."
Edward wondered what she could possibly mean by "drastic measures." What did she think she could accomplish with cotton balls?
"Jake, you first." She took two of the cotton balls and turned towards him. "Hold still." Black's eyes went from mocking to terrified as her fingers found their way to his nose. She shoved both of them into his nostrils and sat back, a satisfied smirk gracing her features.
"Wat teh heck are 'ou doing?" He asked.
"Jacob Black, meet drastic measures," she replied smugly, turning towards Edward and snatching the remaining two cotton balls from the table.
"Your turn," she said, chocolate eyes laughing silently. Edward leaned back, trying to evade the fluff.
"Don't make me hurt you, Isabella," the vampire warned, but knew he wouldn't be able to follow through. He did note that the wolf looked ridiculous with cotton up his nose.
"What, are vampires allergic to cotton?" Bella asked. Alarmed, Edward looked around, but the only other creature in the room was the distressed teen behind the counter, blasting death metal through her Zune.
"No," Edward replied, "but that doesn't mean I like having cotton shoved up my nose."
Black smirked. "Do it, Pelt," he said, voice completely altered by the fibers in his nose.
Faster than Edward had imagined she could, Bella stuck the remaining cotton balls into the vampire's granite nostrils. His sense of smell was dulled slightly.
Bella smiled. "Now instead of hating each other, you can both hate me for making you look ridiculous."
Black looked to the floor. "I can't 'ate 'ou, Pelt." He rubbed his hands on his jeans, and Edward noticed glimmering beads of sweat collecting in the fibers of the denim.
Bella then turned to Edward.
"Bella, I won't. This is ridiculous."
Black turned to Edward, semi-incredulous. "'Ow do 'ou tawk?"
Edward grinned. "I don't need to breathe, remember?"
Black sighed, causing the cotton to wiggle. Bella giggled at the sight. Black took a deep breath with his mouth. "If I say I'll get along wit hib, will 'ou take out dis tuff?"
Bella grinned mischeivously. "I'll need solid proof."
"Fide," Black said. He turned to Edward. "I guedd we can be civil. I will if he will."
Bella grinned and pulled out the cotton. "Edward?"
"Bella, you know that I would do anything for you. If it involves trying to be friendly, then I will do it."
Bella smiled sweetly. "Thank you," she said. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
Black looked slightly envious, thinking things along the lines of Oh, she'll kiss the leech.
As if she heard it, too, Bella said, "Jake, play nice, you promised."
He rolled his eyes playfully, and Edward held back a chuckle as Bella smiled at him. So this was a truce, he thought. This was how it felt to have an uneasy peace with the "enemy." Edward did not need to read her mind to tell that their fighting had hurt her. It was better if they kept their war away from her. Edward knew that the dog did not want Bella to be hurt, either. Both would make an effort.
Bella stood up. "Well, I should be going," she said.
"I'll walk with you," Edward said, jumping up before Black had a chance to respond.
As both human and vampire walked out the door, Bella whispered, "Be grateful I didn't find what I was looking for."
"Weren't you looking for the cotton balls?" Edward asked.
Bella shook her head, smiling. "Nope. The cotton balls were only backup."
"What was the first plan?" Edward asked.
Bella grinned, her eyes sparkling in a striking resemblance to Alice.
"Tampons."