If I Could

Jack stood outside the Vic, his feet planted firmly on the road that ran parallel to the red building. The night was silent, the darkness embracing the streets in its icy arms, enveloping him, until it was pouring into everything that he was. His heart felt as though it was in a vice, with every breath tightening a little bit more.

He just stood there, looking out into the darkness but not really seeing anything.

Everything was gone.

The ambulance and police cars.

The people.

All gone.

But he remained. He remained.

Standing in the last place she had been, the place she had drawn her last breath.

Jack's heart constricted in his chest, but he refused to feel it, refused to let himself feel it. He just kept on breathing, breathing through the pain until the only thing that remained in his mind was the desire to stop.

"Jack."

He heard someone call out his name, the sound was distant and strange. Immediately he whipped around, looking about himself in all directions. "Ronnie?" He spoke into the darkness, his eyes searching for her. "Ronnie?"

Roxy shook her head, the tear tracks on her face glinting beneath the orange glow of the street lights. "She's gone, Jack."

"They took her," he whispered, no longer looking at Roxy, his eyes refusing to settle on one person or thing. Just in case he missed her. "They took her."

Jack shuddered as the sobs agonizingly escaped from his body. The harsh wind whipped at his face, as a thousand bolts of lightning struck his already broken heart. The shattered pieces pierced every part of his soul, the light in him extinguished. He'd died the second her body had gone limp in his arms.

They had had such little time together, both pushed each other away, trying to deny the depth of their love – but they couldn't, not when they knew how much they loved each other. Was this meant to happen? Is this some cruel joke that someone's playing on us? I'm not meant to love anyone, am I? Because whenever I let anyone close, they're ripped away from me.

A sudden thought struck him. This isn't real. This isn't real. It's just a dream. A horrible, sick dream that I need to wake up from. I need to wake up. Striding over to the side of the Vic, Jack's fist pummelled into the wall. His knuckles pounded into the flesh of the brick. Punch after punch left them cut and bleeding, the skin ragged and torn where once they had been healed. But nothing could wake him up.

Roxy's bottom lip trembled as she watched the man that loved her sister break in front of her. She rushed to his side, trying to take hold of his fist in her hands. "Jack, stop. Stop, stop it," she told him, her voice increasing in volume with each word.

"I have to wake up. I have to wake up. I have to. Let me wake up," he said, refusing to look at her whilst continuing to crush his fist into the red brick building. Jack felt a roar of anger surge through him. This place had caused her so much pain – so many things had happened here, so many heartbreaking things.

Finding out about Amy, her dad, Danielle. She lost her baby here. She lost everything here, in this building. She lost everything.

Jack wrenched his hand free of Roxy's, his body igniting with a white hot rage and his fists smashing against the building. His chest heaved with the exertion, his muscles screaming in agony for much needed oxygen, but he was too far gone now, venturing into a place where the fury engulfed him, the flames licking his skin and devouring every part of him.

"Jack!" Roxy shouted out to him, trying to break through the haze of an emotion so thick she thought it would suffocate her.

"Wake up!" He screamed, the roar ripping from his throat.

Before Jack's fist connected with the wall, Roxy managed to close her fingers around it. But his movements were too fast for her and the back of her hand was crushed between the brick and Jack's. She cried out in pain, startling him.

Jack's eyes fell to the droplets of blood that were rapidly forming between Roxy's broken skin. He drew his eyes away, locking onto the ice blue orbs. "I need to wake up," he whispered.

Roxy gulped, wanting nothing more than to collapse to the ground and let the time fall away. But she couldn't do that, not now. She shook her head.

"You're not asleep."