My Little Brother
Sprawled on the floor of our father's study,
My blood coats my fingers as I cry your name.
I feel unbalanced and robbed,
But more has been taken from me
Than one can possibly imagine.
I call your name in the haze of the chaos.
Are you there? No.
You have been taken.
Taken to the other side, never to be seen again.
Taken…because of me.
We had such dreams, such hubris,
To think we could take the place of gods,
To think we could resurrect what has deceased.
But why not, I wonder.
The theory was perfect. We could not have failed.
What drove us was her smile.
That sweet glowing smile that gave happiness
To darkened world, and hope
When there was none.
Our mother was all we desired.
And here I am: bleeding and alone,
Screaming your name in vain,
Trying to drown out the inhuman wheezing of the monster we created.
My legs long to stand, so they can search for you,
But it is useless. I have only one now.
It was the toll I had to pay,
So that I could glimpse the Truth.
But now as I grow lonelier in this echoing room of despair,
The regret fills my chest,
Filling my lungs and drowning me slowly.
As the tears slip out of my eyes,
As I feel as though I have surely been sent to Hell,
The smoke and heat begin to make me nauseous,
Making me dizzy, making me want to quit.
While I grow weaker, I wish to stop crying your name,
To surrender the fight for you and lie down.
Our infraction upon nature is not going unpunished.
It's a hard fact to choke down.
My arms wish to cave in,
Showing to me what agony lies ahead of me.
Inexplicably, there is a new will to fight.
A new courage and determination,
That I believe will save you.
A suit of armor in the corner…
If my theory is correct,
Its steel shell will be the thing to save you,
The last refuge I have.
If you can forgive me for dragging us into this sin,
Then please come back to me.
Don't abandon me when I have nothing left.
I offer them whatever they want.
They can have the rest of my limbs, too.
They can even take my heart from me,
My soul in exchange for yours.
And this time, the sacrifice is mine to make.
It is not stolen from me, now.
And as the armor springs life,
It's like magic.
After a few moments of excruciating relief,
I quickly remember that I don't believe in such things as the unexplained.
A leg, an arm, a body,
Two lives.
Two lives were sacrificed for the sake of another.
And even then, it was not enough.
Our brazen attempt to play God was shot down from the sky,
Yanking our lives away from us.
No matter how long the rehabilitation,
No matter how great the determination,
There is nothing we can do but move forward.
For there is no one at fault but us.
My little brother,
What have I done to you?
I was supposed to know better,
Supposed to be the one to protect you
From the horrors the world has to offer.
Little brother, my poor little brother,
Tell me you forgive me for my blind foolishness.
For this transgression, this crime against your soul
Is ugly and unspeakable.
If it were within my power, my toll would be greater,
So yours would be less.
My little brother,
Oh my unfortunate little brother.