Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. That right belongs with Stephenie Meyer only.
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Bella pulled up slowly in front of my house in the night. Her slow driving with her truck hadn't bothered me at all tonight; I had the whole night to look forward to with my love. I forced myself to push the worries out of my mind, and spend some alone time with Bella. This was something I was sure I needed.
She cut the engine, and I quickly opened my door and was around to her side in a flash. I opened hers and grabbed Bella securely with one arm, while my other found her bag on the seat behind her. My lips eagerly met hers, and I looped her bag up around my arm, and swung her up so that she was cradled up in both my arms.
I had to concentrate on walking straight. I twisted the doorknob of the front door open, and stood there in the entryway, forgetting to shut the door, and my lips were moving with hers in an excited, eager, and a more passionate way.
I lost my train of thought and track of time as I continued to kiss her, unguarded for once. Nobody was going to hurt Bella tonight and I could actually relax and hold her safe in my arms while looking forward to a whole night together.
But then I remembered the hand-me-down that I was looking forward to the most tonight, and reluctantly pulled her away from my body, holding her at arms length. Her face was flushed red and she looked quite adorable.
"Welcome home," I said, being the first one to talk tonight.
"That sounds nice," Bella replied.
I set her down on her feet gently, hoping she would catch her breath better standing up. However, she wrapped her arms around my waist, warming me again.
"I have something for you," I said lightly. I was eager to give her my hand-me-down but I didn't want to show my enthusiasm to her too much. She might think it was a big deal (which it was to me) but I couldn't risk her turning down the offer.
"Oh?" she inquired conversationally.
"Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable," I reminded her that she couldn't refuse this gift now.
"Oh, that's right. I guess I did say that."
I chuckled, pleased. "It's up in my room. Shall I go get it?"
Bella smiled, and intertwined her delicate fingers with mine. "Sure. Let's go."
Eager, I scooped her up lightly in my arms and hurried up the stairs and to my room. I set her down in the doorway and disappeared into my closet. I found the black velvet box lying safely in the shelf where I had last left it and I picked it up gently. I tried not to smile too widely, and stepped out of my closet. Bella moved to the bed, and plopped down in the middle, curling up into a ball, as if protecting herself from the one gift I was about to give her.
"Okay," she grumbled. "Let me have it."
I laughed at her, and then climbed onto the bed to sit next to her. I heard her heart beat a bit irregularly, and if my heart could beat, it would be doing the same. This was a better place to give her the present than standing in the doorway.
"A hand-me-down," I reminded her sternly, trying to preserve the moment from silly excuses.
I looked at her face. She was showing a little reluctance, but didn't say that. Excitedly, I gently took her small left wrist, and quickly fastened the charm around the silver bracelet the mutt had given her.
She examined it cautiously, just the same as I watched her, her reaction flawless. She gasped.
Pleased, I said, "It was my mother's." How amazing it was to be able to share something like this with her. It was also a plus to have her accept this so easily. If only things would run this smoothly all the time.
I glanced at her face again and she was still staring at the charm. I quickly reassured her, "I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I've given some to Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way."
She looked up at me and smiled.
"But I thought it was a good representation," I went on teasingly. "It's hard and cold," I laughed, "and it throws rainbows in the light."
"You forgot the most important similarity," she said softly, "it's beautiful."
"My heart is just as silent. And it, too, is yours."
She twisted her wrist and let the light shine off the heart. I smiled again and my heart seemed to swell.
"Thank you," she said, "for both."
"No, thank you. It's a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you too." I grinned at her.
Bella snuggled closer into me, and ducked her head under my arm. I raised my arm up higher so that she was more comfortable, and then placed it around her waist along with my other arm and pulled her closer into my side.
I closed my eyes, content. Her warmth was so pleasant, and I was caught up in the presence of her beauty again. I knew this night was going to go exceptionally well.
Bella broke the short silence. "Can we discuss something? I'd appreciate it if you could begin by being open-minded."
I hesitated, cautious. What ran through her mind? She seemed anxious. Curiousity filled my mind. Could it be about him, the mutt? He hardly ever strayed from her thoughts.
"I'll give it my best effort," I told her.
"I'm not breaking any rules here," she told me sternly. "This is strictly about you and me." She cleared her throat, and I resisted the urge to smile at her actions. "So...I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would like to apply the same principle to a different situation."
I smiled inwardly again. Was my formalness rubbing off on her so much?
"What would you like to negotiate?" I questioned.
Bella hesitated. Her heart was fluttering rapidly. "Listen to your heart fly," I murmured softly. "It's fluttering like a hummingbird's wings. Are you all right?"
"I'm great."
I frowned. "Please go on then."
"Well, I guess, first I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing."
Where was she getting at? "It's only ridiculous to you," I told her first, "what about it?"
"I was wondering...is that open to negotiation?"
My mind began to wander. I wanted Bella to understand everything she was leaving behind in order to be changed. Though there was something I had obviously overlooked. "I've already made the largest concession by far and away - I've agreed to take your life away against my better judgment. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part."
"No," Bella shook her head firmly. Was she actually serious? "That part's a done deal. We're not discussing my...renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details."
Had I heard right? "Which details do you mean exactly?" I questioned curiously.
She hesitated. "Let's clarify your prerequisites first."
"You know what I want," I stated.
"Matrimony." She scrunched her nose up and her voice was unintentionally seductive.
"Yes," I agreed, smiling mischievously. "To start with."
She looked surprised. "There's more?"
"Well," I began, choosing my words carefully, "If you're my wife, then what's mine is yours...like tuition money. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth." I looked at her hopefully.
"Anything else? While you're already being absurd?"
She was so stubborn.
"I wouldn't mind some time."
"No. No time. That's a deal breaker right there." She was holding onto her firm ground
I sighed. "Just a year or two?" I knew my words would be wasted.
She shook her angelic head, frowning. "Move along to the next one."
"That's it. Unless you'd like to talk cars..." I was teasing, but my mind was elsewhere.
What could it be that Bella so desperately wanted to compromise that she hadn't come to me about before? I strained my memory to try and think of an instance where Bella had mentioned something she might want besides being transformed into a monster. I wouldn't have forgotten that. Nope...she hadn't mentioned anything. Was this a spur of the moment thing? My mind was still on the dog, wondering if this had anything to do with him. What could Bella possibly want to ask me about Jacob though? I had told her that I was giving her free reign on going to see him. I inwardly shuddered at the thought.
I picked up her left hand and began playing with her delicate fingers.
"I didn't realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I'm extremely curious," I said softly.
She looked down, staring at our hands twined together. I couldn't look into her eyes, and I stared at her face, watching her cheeks flush a bright red. Surprised, I stroked at the gentle, beautiful blush in her cheeks.
"You're blushing? Please, Bella, the suspense is painful."
Oh, sometimes the longing for getting inside her mind was too powerful sometimes...
She didn't answer and now I was incredibly wary. What could she possibly want or need so bad that she couldn't talk to me beforehand about? It was just me. She should know that she can ask me anything.
"Bella."
"Well, I'm a little worried...about after," she finally said.
I was instantly tense, knowing this was heading into another discussion about Bella being changed into a vampire. I know she was a little muddled about the stricter details and that was my fault for not filling her in more. But I didn't want her to worry.
"What has you worried?"
"All of you just seem so convinced that the only thing I'm going to be interested in, afterward, is slaughtering everyone in town," she said in a rush.
I winced slightly at her words.
She went on. "And I'm afraid I'll be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won't be me anymore...and that I won't...I won't want you the same way I do now."
Of course she would still love me after she was changed. Once she was transformed, there was no going back. Her heart would remain frozen and I would be in there. The thought made me smile inside. Is that what she was getting at?
"Edward. There's something I want to do before I'm not human anymore."
I was perplexed, on edge, waiting.
She didn't go on.
"Whatever you want," I encouraged. Just get on with it, please.
"Do you promise?" she muttered, not looking at me.
"Yes," I said firmly. Of course. "Tell me what you want, and you can have it."
"You," she mumbled.
"I'm yours." I studied her face, looking for a clue of what she could be trying to tell me.
Bella inhaled deeply, sitting up on her knees, she shifted forward onto my lap and wrapped her arms tight around my neck. She became very seductive. But my mind had not strayed entirely from the mystery. I still didn't have the slightest clue to what she was getting at. She hadn't finished her thought but instead started kissing me.
As if she could read my thoughts, her shaky hands slid downwards through my neck, thrilling me, and down to my collar. Her fingers then made contact with the buttons on my shirt and she unbuttoned the first button, then the second one.
Instantly, I froze. She couldn't be serious.
Without thinking about it, and trying to prevent it from going any further, I pushed her back right away.
"Be reasonable, Bella."
"You promised - whatever I wanted," she reminded me.
I couldn't believe it. She knew me better than that. I was in a bad situation now.
"We're not having this discussion," I closed firmly, buttoning my shirt back up.
"I say we are," she said aggressively, and quickly, her hands moved to her blouse and she unbuttoned the top button.
I took a deep breath. She was underestimating my self-control once again by moving forward to unbutton her own shirt. I couldn't waver, but she was beginning to tempt me even more.
Before she could make another move, I took her wrists and held them tightly down to her sides.
"I say we're not."
She glared at me, and I glared back.
"You wanted to know," she finally said.
"I thought it would be something faintly realistic." She finally decided she wanted something and I so badly wanted to give it to her...this had to be the one thing that I couldn't give to her. Didn't she know how entirely breakable she was and how dangerous this was? The immense possibility of her getting hurt? It would be foolish to risk this.
"So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want - like getting married - but I'm not allowed to even discuss what I - "
I thought I should put an end to this before it got even farther. I took both of her hands in my left and my other hand reached up to cover her mouth.
"No." I tried to make myself look firm.
Bella stopped arguing. She took a deep breath, and I began to relax a bit now that we had gotten that out of the way. I stared at her, trying to decipher what she was thinking. She wouldn't meet my eyes; instead she stared down and blushed deeply.
I sighed. Perhaps I had been too harsh with her. I let go of her mouth and pulled her face upwards under her chin so she would look at me. "What now?"
"Nothing," she mumbled, meeting my gaze. She tried to squirm away from my eyes, but I held it for a long moment.
She had tears building up in her eyes, and I instantly became horrified. I had been too harsh with her. I always set the physical boundaries, but only for her. To protect her, but not in her eyes.
"Did I hurt your feelings?"
"No," she lied pathetically.
I felt horribly guilty and I picked her up and placed her securely in my lap, and my thumb reached across her to stroke her cheek comfortingly. I had to make her see.
"You know why I have to say no. You know that I want you, too." If only she knew how much...
"Do you?" Her voice was unmistakably filled with doubt.
I felt ashamed of myself. I had been giving the girl I loved with all my soul the wrong impression. I thought I'd been clear enough that her safety was my only concern. I'd gotten a bit carried away before in my time alone with her but I couldn't go too far, otherwise she would take advantage of my vulnerable situation and I would become weak in her hands. I couldn't risk hurting her.
"Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl." I laughed a hard laugh. She could be so absurd sometimes. She still didn't understand the other males who seemed to have the same physical interest in her after one look. "Doesn't everyone? I feel like there's a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake...You're too desirable for your own good."
"Who's being silly now?" Bella sighed.
I shook my head. She had no idea. "Do I have to send you a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on the top of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you." Oh, how surprised and freaked out she would be if she found out some of the inappropriate thoughts creeping about Mr. Banner's mind...
She shook her head against my chest. "You're just trying to distract me. Let's get back to the subject."
I sighed. Of course it wasn't over.
"Tell me if I have anything wrong," Bella continued, ""Your demands are marriage, paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn't mind if my vehicle went a little faster. Did I get everything? That's a hefty list."
I tried not to smile every time she made an adorable face at the word "marriage."
"Only the first is a demand. The others are merely requests."
"And my lone, solitary little demand is - "
"Demand?" I questioned, my voice going flat.
"Yes, demand."
I raised my eyebrows at her, and narrowed my eyes. Obviously she wasn't going to let this go.
"Getting married is a stretch for me," she explained, "I'm not giving in until I get something in return."
I sighed and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "No. It's not possible now. Later, when you're less breakable. Be patient, Bella." Clearly, she hadn't been giving that much thought to how our physical relationship would change after she was turned...I certainly had, and that was one aspect in her change I couldn't wait for. But I turned away from the selfish thoughts.
"But that's not the problem," Bella argued, "It won't be the same when I'm less breakable. I won't be the same! I don't know who I'll be then."
"You'll still be Bella," I reassured her.
"If I'm so far gone that I'd want to kill Charlie - that I'd drink Jacob's blood or Angela's if I got the chance - how can that be true?"
"It will pass." I thought I showed my attraction to her in every way possible. It was stronger than my bloodlust for her. I had to apply self-control though. Just because I don't want to hurt her doesn't mean I can't. "And I doubt you'll want to drink the dog's blood," I went on teasingly, shuddering, "Even as a newborn, you'll have better taste than that."
She ignored the side comment. "But that will always be what I want most, won't it? Blood, blood, and more blood!"
"The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true."
"Over eighty years later. What I meant was physically, though. Intellectually, I know I'll be able to be myself...after a while. But just purely physically - I will always be thirsty, more than anything else."
I was silent. I couldn't exactly argue with that...I suppose it would just take a lot of time until...
"So I will be different," she took advantage of my silence. "Because right now, physically, there's nothing I want more than you. More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a more sensible order. But physically..." She twisted her head so that she could kiss the palm of my hand, which was still resting lightly on her soft cheek.
I took a deep breath. What she had just confessed was...sweet. And it made me feel even more guilty. But this was the only thing she had ever asked from me...
"Bella, I could kill you," I whispered, shuddering inwardly at the words.
"I don't think you could," she replied stubbornly.
I frowned. Perhaps she needed a little demonstration, a little reminder...I reached behind the bed, and stuck my hand lower than the headboard, breaking off very easily a silver rose. I brought it around so that she could see it and closed my hand softly for a small second. I opened it again, and she could see that it had been demolished into black dough. Another second, and it crumpled into black sand.
She glared at me. "That's not what I meant. I already know how strong you are. You didn't have to break the furniture."
"What did you mean then?" If this was what I could do with the furniture, couldn't she see it would be a million times harder to restrain myself from crushing her?
I turned back to look at her, after throwing the black sand in the corner of the room, caught up in her facial expression again.
She struggled for words. "Obviously not that you aren't physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to...More that, you don't want to hurt me...so much so that I don't think you ever could."
I was already shaking my head, disagreeing with her. One little slip-up could cost the world..."It might not work like that, Bella."
"Might. You have no more idea what you're talking about than I do."
"Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?"
We stared into each other's eyes. There was still hurt in her big, brown, chocolate eyes. I couldn't pull myself away. "Please," she whispered suddenly, hopelessly. "It's all I want. Please." She closed her eyes.
What tore me the most at that part was how she seemed defeated. Her pain struck at me sharply as if it were my own. I began to wonder what would happen if we did try...was there any way that it would go successfully?
"Please?" she whispered again, interrupting my thoughts. Her heartbeat began flipping again. She said the last words in a rush, "You don't have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn't work out right, well, then that's that. Just let us try...only try. And I'll give you what you want. I'll marry you. I'll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won't complain about the bribe to get me in. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just...please."
Her last word was unbearable. She was willing to give up everything that she didn't want just for this. I was shocked at all the words that came out of her. How painful this was to just sit there and refuse her over and over again. How much rejection could one person go through? I felt like I was torturing her. I'd hurt her time and time again...and yet she had been so unselfish, never asking me for anything even when I pressed for something...this was the only thing she had ever asked me for...
I tightened my grip around her, trying to ease her pain somehow. "This is unbearable. So many things I've wanted to give you - and this is what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?"
"Then don't refuse," she suggested hopefully.
I didn't answer. My thoughts were wavering again...oh, how much I wanted her...the physical attraction to her was almost too much sometimes...I thought about finally giving in, and my head swam.
"Please," she said again.
"Bella..." I let her name linger on my mouth and I bent my head to kiss slowly across her throat. All the passion and desire I had for her was slowly coming out of me...
Bella twisted in my arms suddenly and joined my lips with hers. That did it. I was defeated. I took hold of her face and kissed her back in earnest, my stone lips moving against her warm, soft ones in pleasure...it was a new way of kissing for us and I loved it. Her arms tightened around my neck. Her body was warmer than I had ever felt it before.
I couldn't detach my lips from hers even if I tried. Eventually, she broke away, needing air. My mouth could not pull away from her soft skin, and it moved down her throat, up and down. She tried to unbutton my shirt again and I let her. Her fingers teased me as they traced my chest, thrilling me to no end.
In the back of my mind, it seemed wrong to continue to take the next step in our relationship. And not for safety reasons. What had she said previously? Getting married is a stretch for me. I'm not giving in unless I get something in return. But shouldn't this be coming in return after the marriage? It was the proper way to do things and I wanted to do everything right with me and Bella...with the only things we had left...or rather, she had left...I wasn't sure where I was heading after this life, and I wasn't taking her down with me.
I was still kissing her, letting my desperation soak through my lips. My arms were tight around her, and she still tried to reach the buttons of her blouse, trying to take it off.
I had made my decision. It would be better this way.
I grabbed her wrists, pulling them away from her shirt. I lay her down on the bed, me hovering slightly above her and to the side. "Bella," I murmured in her ear, trying to make this as gentle as possible; I didn't want to hurt her again. I wanted to make it easier for her, and so I tried to make the situation slightly more lighter and humorous. "Would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?"
"Do you want to do that part?" she asked innocently.
I wanted to hug her tighter. She was so cute.
"Not tonight," I murmured quietly. My lips were still moving gently against her cheek, throat, and jaw.
"Edward, don't - "
"I'm not saying no. I'm just saying not tonight," I cleared up.
She didn't say anything for a moment.
"Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night." She was the most breathless she had ever been during one of our kissing sessions.
I smiled. "I wasn't born yesterday. Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing, but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won't go running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am - clearly - much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore...you first," I finished teasingly.
"I have to marry you first?" Bella asked me in surprise.
"That's the deal - take it or leave it. Compromise, remember?"
It seemed like she was beginning to consider it. If my heart could beat, it would be thumping faster unsteadily as I realized I might be close to finally being engaged to the woman I loved for all eternity. I leaned down and kissed her in a very persuasive way, my lips gently crushing hers in a way we had never kissed before. Maybe she would end up saying yes if she couldn't keep her head straight. I smiled to myself.
"I think that's a really bad idea," she said breathlessly when I detached my mouth from hers, knowing she needed oxygen.
"I'm not surprised you feel that way," I replied, smirking. Of course. "You have a one-track mind."
"How did this happen?" she wondered out loud. "I thought I was holding my own tonight - for once - and now, all of a sudden - "
Before she ended up using a bad word, which I knew would hurt me, I finished for her, "You're engaged."
"Ew!" she exclaimed. "Please don't say that word out loud."
I actually found it quite humorous that she was so keen on not being married. Only because of her reasoning. But lately my imagination had been getting the better of me, thoughts of getting wed… "Are you going back on your word?" I pulled back to look at her.
Bella simply glared back, her heart still pounding unsteadily. She was quite cute when she was angry.
"Are you?" I said again after she didn't answer.
"Ugh! No. I'm not. Are you happy now?"
My heart swelled with pride and joy and I grinned widely at her. If only she knew. "Exceptionally."
She groaned once more.
"Aren't you happy at all?" It hurt to have her reacting this way sometimes, although I was trying to find it funny in this situation after what had just happened. But I simply couldn't have her engaged if she wouldn't be happy. I kissed her again, reminding her that the marriage wouldn't be such a bad thing.
"A little bit," she finally said. "But not about getting married."
I kissed her another time, trying to get her brain to work towards our wedding night...I would make sure she would be happy before we got married.
"Do you get the feeling that everything is backward? Traditionally, shouldn't you be arguing my side, and I yours?" I never thought I would see this day. I chortled.
"There isn't much traditional about you and me," Bella said stubbornly.
I smiled again. "True."
I bent down to mold my lips to her soft ones once more, trying to win her over. This time my other instincts got the better of me and I couldn't seem to pull myself away from her lips which were moving with mine, wanting more. I wanted to give her more. Before I could forget, I pulled back so that she could breathe easily. Her face was flushed a dull red and her hair was slightly messed up. She looked adorable. I couldn't help but to lean my head to the side to kiss her small palm.
"Look, Edward," she murmured. "I said I would marry you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."
I made a sour face. "Not funny." My nose was skimming along her wrist, her scent dazzling me again.
"What I'm saying is this - I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone - how often does that happen? - and you've provided this very large and comfortable bed..." she trailed off suggestively.
No reason to wait? Obviously, we had been raised very differently. I was sure my way was right this time and I wanted to do it right for my love. She deserved that much.
"Not tonight," I said firmly. I couldn't waver again and I couldn't let her plead with me again. It was unbearable.
"Don't you trust me?"
Silly Bella. "Of course I do."
My lips were still pressed against her palm, hiding my face. I didn't want her to see anything that might give my reasoning away. In a way, I was a little ashamed of my reasons, proving that the times had changed me somewhat. I knew she would laugh, but it was the right thing to do.
She pulled my face up and I obliged. "Then what's the problem? It's not like you didn't know you were going to win in the end. You always win."
I felt guilty after she muttered the last three words but merely said, "Just hedging my bets."
"There's something else. Are you planning to go back on your word?"
Damn it. I knew I should've kept my face hidden. She knew me too well.
"No," I promised, trying to keep her from figuring out the real reason. "I swear to you, we will try. After you marry me."
Bella shook her head, and laughed once. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama - twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl's virtue."
I instantly ducked my head down, kissing her lightly on her collarbone at her choice of words.
"That's it, isn't it? You're trying to protect your virtue!" She actually giggled.
I knew she would find the concept ridiculous. "No, silly girl," I muttered against her shoulder, still keeping my expression out of her view, "I'm trying to protect yours. And you're making it shockingly difficult."
"Of all the ridiculous - "
I cut her off. "Let me ask you something. We've had this discussion before, but humor me. How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?"
"Two," she answered right away fiercely.
"All right," I humored her. "Maybe that's true. Now, there's a world full of dissension about this, but the vast majority seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed."
"Vampire rules aren't enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones too?" she shot back.
"It couldn't hurt." I shrugged. "Just in case." I had to take every precaution with her. "Now, of course, it might be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul."
"No, it isn't," she said stubbornly. She was always trying to see the good in me, though I couldn't see what possibly could be left.
" ' Thou shalt not kill' is commonly accepted by major belief systems. And I've killed a lot of people, Bella."
"Only the bad ones." I was surprised she said that. Maybe I wasn't such a great influence on her.
But I shrugged. "Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn't. But you haven't killed anyone - "
"That you know about," she interrupted.
I resisted a chuckle. "And I'm going to do my best to keep you out of temptation's way."
"Okay. But we weren't fighting over committing murder."
"The same principle applies - the only difference is that this is the one area in which I'm just as spotless as you are. Can't I leave one rule unbroken?"
"One?" she inquired.
How could she need reminders? "You know that I've stolen, I've lied, I've coveted, my virtue is all I have left." I smiled at her.
"I lie all the time."
I resisted the urge to laugh. I didn't want to make her get any more bad-tempered with me than she already was. "Yes, but you're such a bad liar that it doesn't really count. Nobody believes you."
"I really hope you're wrong about that - otherwise Charlie is about to burst through the door with a loaded gun," she said sarcastically.
"Charlie is happier when he pretends to swallow your stories. He'd rather lie to himself than look too closely."
"But what did you ever covet?" she asked, getting back to the topic. "You have everything."
I thought it was obvious. "I coveted you." For a moment, I hated myself again. "I had no right to want you - but I reached out and took you anyway. And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire," I finished jokingly.
"You can covet what's already yours. Besides, I thought it was my virtue you were worried about."
Like I gave a damn about my well-being anymore. "It is. If it's too late for me...Well, I'll be damned - no pun intended - if I'll let them keep you out, too."
Her expression hardened. "You can't make me go somewhere you won't be. That's my definition of hell. Anyway, I have an easy solution to all this: let's never die, all right?"
I grinned. "Sounds simple enough. Why didn't I think of that?"
I waited, staring at her beautiful face. She finally let out an angry breath. "So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're married."
Once again, she made it sound like a dirty word. I grinned. "Technically, I can't ever sleep with you."
Bella rolled her eyes. "Very mature, Edward."
"But, other than that detail, yes, you've got it right."
"I think you have an ulterior motive."
I played along innocently. "Another one?"
"You know this will speed things up."
I resisted the urge to let out a laugh. "There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever...but for that, it's true, your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this moment." How powerful of an ally they were, she would probably never guess.
"I can't believe I'm going along with this. When I think of Charlie...and Renee! Can you imagine what Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now."
I raised an eyebrow at her. It was one thing to worry about what her parents thought of it - that would surely be an obstacle enough, but she didn't have to involve Jessica and Angela. I knew she was self-conscious, but really. She would be giving everyone up soon enough anyway for my sake.
She was quiet for a long time and I knew she was thinking about the wedding and everyone else around her. Before she could change her mind and start making the worst out of everything, I reassured her, "It doesn't have to be a big production. I don't need any fanfare. You won't have to tell anyone or make any changes. We'll go to Vegas - you can wear old jeans and we'll go to the chapel with the drive-through window. I just want it to be official - that you belong to me and no one else." I probably should've mentioned to this before. It might've made the process go quicker. Also, I'd probably want the mutt to know that we would be married soon, I thought to myself.
"It couldn't be any more official than it already is," she grumbled. But I could see the idea already warming up to her.
"We'll see about that." I tried not to let my thoughts stray towards the dog. This was our night. "I suppose you don't want to see your ring?"
She swallowed noisily. "You suppose correctly."
She was wickedly amusing sometimes. I laughed. "That's fine. I'll get it on your finger soon enough."
She narrowed her eyes at me. "You talk like you already have one."
"I do. Ready to force upon you at your first sign of weakness."
"You're unbelievable," she shook her head.
"Do you want to see it?" I asked excitedly, my eyes lighting up. I was sure she would love it. I knew her taste.
"No!" she exclaimed, though, raising her voice, and my face instantly drooped.
"Unless you want to show it to me," she continued, after catching my disappointment.
I sighed to myself. I wasn't about to show it to her unless she was sure she wanted to.
"That's all right," I shrugged it off. "It can wait."
She sighed, seeing right through me. "Show me the damn ring, Edward."
"No."
Her tactics changed. Her face fell also and she touched the tips of her fingers lightly to my face, making my hard skin tingle. "Please?" she asked softly. "Please can I see it?"
She was pleading with me again. Even if she didn't really want to see it, I couldn't refuse any longer. I narrowed my eyes at her. "You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met."
I got up from the bed and kneeled by the bedside table. I slid open the drawer and found a small black velvet box. Whenever Bella had been over in my room, I had thrilled at the idea of the ring sitting there the whole time, hoping it would be on her finger sooner or later. I picked up the small box and closed the drawer, then joined her back on the bed, placing it on her left knee.
"Go ahead and look then." I didn't want to force it upon her.
She smoothed her fingers across the velvet. Stalling, she asked, "You didn't spend a lot of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did."
"I didn't spend anything. It's just another hand-me-down. This is the ring my father gave to my mother."
"Oh." I could tell she was surprised, not expecting that answer. She placed her fingers on either side of the lid, but still didn't open it. I sighed inwardly.
"I suppose it's a little outdated," I teased. However, I knew she would prefer this ring. "Old-fashioned, just like me. I can get you something more modern. Something from Tiffany's?"
"I like old-fashioned things," she murmured as she finally, and reluctantly pulled off the lid.
I held in my breath, and stared at her face as she examined the ring. She looked unmistakably surprised and gently stroked the ring.
"It's so pretty," she murmured softly.
"Do you like it?" I pressed.
"It's beautiful," she shrugged casually. "What's not to like?"
I chuckled, pleased. "See if it fits." If my heart was still beating, it would be thumping unsteadily right now at the thought of finally having my mother's ring on my love's finger.
But I noticed her left hand fold into a fist firmly.
I rolled my eyes. "Bella. I'm not going to solder it to your finger. Just try it on so I can see if it needs to be sized. Then you can take it right off."
She hesitated, then grumbled, "Fine."
She was reaching towards the ring but I wanted to get there first. I took the ring out and took her left hand in mine. I was holding my breath, as I carefully slid the ring onto her third finger, then I held her beautiful hand out.
The long oval was sparkling against her pale skin, and it looked absolutely beautiful on her. It was almost as if it had been made for her. My heart seemed to be growing bigger and swelling with love and pride for Bella, as I couldn't take my eyes off the ring on her finger.
"A perfect fit. That's nice - saves me a trip to the jeweler's." I tried to keep my tone casual, but Bella looked up at me. I tried to keep my eyes hidden also, but who was I kidding? This wasn't something I could keep bottled up inside me for too long. I felt like I was going to burst with excitement and joy.
"You like that, don't you?" Bella was still staring at me, and she fluttered her fingers in front of me, as if teasing me.
"Sure," I said lightly, "it looks very nice on you."
I wanted to kiss her senseless right there and then, as I stared back into her eyes. Her chocolate brown eyes were searching mine as if trying to find the other hidden message conveyed in them. She was purely an angel.
And then I couldn't help it. I took her face and kissed her, tightening our lips together. My lips wouldn't stop moving and she kissed me back, willing. I knew she could feel the excitement and happiness leaking through.
Over living for a hundred years, I had never felt this happy, and it even made me dizzy. I couldn't believe my luck, at receiving this beautiful angel before me, wearing my mother's ring, finally engaged to me.
"Yes, I like it. You have no idea," I answered her question, as I finally let her go. And she truly did have no idea. She was breathing unsteadily and I was breathing every bit as hard as her.
She laughed. "I believe you."
And then my imaginations came floating back. It was me, kneeling before her, in the meadow, holding my mother's ring, asking her the four magical words, seeing her nod, and then slipping the ring onto her finger. I fantasized her walking down the aisle, looking beautiful beyond belief, saying, "I do," and sealing the words with a loving kiss.
"Do you mind if I do something?" I asked her quietly, trying to get my thoughts coherent again.
"Anything you want," she said generously.
I let go of her and got off the bed.
"Anything but that."
I ignored her, overjoyed with the thought of finally doing what I was about to do. It wasn't as perfect as doing it in the meadow, but considering the circumstances, I was just so pleased we were finally engaged. Everything was going my way tonight. And I had seemed to know all along that tonight was going to be a special night, even after everything that had happened.
Placing my hands gently on her shoulders, I looked intently into her eyes, wanting to explain to her how important this was. "Now, I want to do this right. Please, please, keep in mind that you've already agreed to this, and don't ruin it for me." Just in case she blurted out no without thinking. That would absolutely crush me.
"Oh, no," she gasped, finally realizing what I was doing as I slid down onto one knee.
"Be nice."
I took a deep breath. Even in my human life, I had never thought that I would be doing this. And after I became a vampire, I had never thought in my wildest fantasies that I would find somebody this beautiful and perfect who loved me so much. Of course I loved her more than she loved me and she would never see that, but the thought was incredibly overwhelming.
She took a deep breath too, mirroring me.
I looked up at her, and she met my gaze. I found myself getting lost in those eyes again. "Isabella Swan? I promise to love you forever - every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"
I kept staring into her eyes. She looked like she was hesitating, trying to figure out what to say. I sucked in my breath.
Finally, she whispered, "Yes," and my heart felt like it might burst.
"Thank you." I gently took her left hand within mine, and kissed her long, beautiful, fingertips, then went back to her third finger and kissed the ring that now belonged to my love.