After this prologue, all the chapters are drabble-sized. Be warned: cannon pairings are here along with Loki/Darcy and Steve/Maria, and - if you want to look at them as such - crack pairings abound.
"It's to help you should you need to go on undercover missions, Mr. Stark," Coulson answered. "I've told you before; just consider it another training exercise."
"But, really," Steve added from where he was standing with the other Avengers and their respective significant others. "Ballroom dancing?"
"Honestly, it won't kill any of you," Phil said with a deep, longsuffering sigh and a note to self to remind Fury that he really did need a raise for this.
"He might kill us," Natasha butted in, glaring at Loki.
"Do we really have to go into the 'why Loki would make a good addition to the team' again?" Phil asked. "Let's not; let's try to stay on point right now. No more whining, anybody; let's just get this thing done. This training exercise really shouldn't be any problem for you, right, Agent Romanoff? You go undercover to dances all the time… so let's make it a bit of a mental challenge for you. Today we are going to be switching you up; taking away your girlfriends and making you all dance with someone you are relatively unused to dealing with, since you never know who you're going to have to end up with in a real-life situation. Agent Romanoff, since you seem so eager to point him out, let's put you with Loki."
"I object!" Darcy yelped, grabbing her boyfriend's arm.
"Objection overruled. Loki, if you would take your partner, please. I'm sure the fallen prince of Asgard is familiar with dancing?"
Loki glared at Phil but nodded as he gave Darcy a kiss on the forehead and took Natasha's hand. He muttered to her, "He's punishing me."
"Who do you really think is getting the worse end of this between the two of us?" Nat asked him.
He glared down at her, saying, "Agree to disagree."
"Okay," Phil said, looking at the remaining Avengers and their girlfriends. "Darcy looks like she needs to calm down a bit, so why don't you go with Bruce; he's good at calm."
Darcy looked warily at the scientist, but allowed him to take her hand and lead her out onto the floor nonetheless. Looking at her dance partner, Natasha only smirked to see Loki tense up a little at that.
"Feeling threatened?" she asked the god.
"Only for Darcy," he replied tersely.
"Now I'm sure that Steve would rather Agent Hill taught him how to dance, but I think that Thor's going to be a little more lost than him, so why don't… Hill partner with Thor and Cap take… Pepper. That leaves Clint dancing with Jane and Tony with Betty; I apologize in advance for your broken toes, Dr. Ross."
"Prepare to be surprised, Agent," Tony said, suddenly sporting a charming smile as he led Betty out onto the dance floor.
"Coulson, I can't dance any more than Steve or Thor can," Agent Hill protested.
"Well, if one prince of Asgard can dance, then so can the other," Thor said, smiling suavely as he took her hand.
Phil took a deep breath, asking, "Is that everybody?"
"Yes," Maria answered.
"Good. The idea here is that you're undercover and you need to convince me that you are desperately in love with the person whose hand you are holding. You're so entirely lost in your dance partner that you cannot possibly be listening in on the conversation that Senator XYZ is having two tables away from you, alright?"
Natasha and Clint both rolled their eyes - could anyone say "old hat" please?
"Got it," Tony said for the group.
"So, for those among us who aren't so comfortable dancing, let's just start with a simple box step," Phil said, retreating to the corner of the room and playing classical music off of his iPod. "And action. Convince me… and remember, part of the charade is that the real significant other of someone can't show that they care what's happening with that person. You've got to make me think your attention is entirely on the person in front of you. And don't forget to keep dancing! Watch Agents Barton and Romanoff for a second if you need to, they know what they're doing here."