"I wasn't the one driving!"

"But you were the one who pulled the wheel, you maniac. Did you hit Donald, too? Is that why he left?"

Eric stepped between the fuming women and raised his hands. "Look, just calm down. There's a man on the ground over there."

Darcy broke eye contact first and looked to the guy. "Think he's alright?"

Jane shrugged nervously. "I...I don't know."

Darcy sighed and kneeled by the strange hobo, yanking his eyelids up and lifting his lips to see his teeth.

"Well, he's not dead."

Suddenly the man jolted upward and stumbled back away from them. He glanced at them confused.

"I thought she was supposed to be there when I woke." He pointed a meaty finger at Jane and Darcy huffed.

"Dude, didn't you read the script? I'm your new love interest."

Jane's eyes widened and she covered her mouth from a laugh. "Oh. My. God."

"Thor Odinson...I name you...Frost Giants."

Thor's forehead creased and he stared at his father in confusion. Did he just...?

Frigga stepped forward and whispered something in her husband's ear. The old man's bearded face grew more wrinkled as he smacked his fist into the throne.

"I'm not revealing that yet! Good Valhalla, woman, there are Frost Giants in the armory!"

"And what stopped you from elaborating that fact?" Frigga asked him sharply. Odin shook his head and stood, charging down the center aisle with Gungnir at the ready.

"Read the script, woman!" he called back to his wife as he left the gathered Asgardians in the audience chamber.

Thor and Loki both ran to their father's side as he rushed off down the halls, neither one asking what their father was speaking of.

The bodies of the Asgardians were frozen, the Frost Giants crisped and the armory was intact.

Loki came forward angrily as Odin touched the Casket of Ancient Winters. "This deserves our fury. We should come down on the Jotuns like a storm. Teach them to know when they are defeated. This means war."

Thor glanced over oddly and Odin peeked over his shoulder. "I...I thought...never mind."

"Calm yourself, brother. We must think this through." Thor lifted a hand to his brother and Loki sneered.

"This is the time for action not for thoughts. We must reassert our power over Jotunheim. Now."

Odin stepped away from the casket and turned to his boys. "This isn't right. Are you sure this is how it goes?"

Both of the sons nodded. "Didn't you read the script, Father?"

"I need a horse!"

The pet shop clerk frowned, scratching his neck in confusion. "Uh, we don't have those here. We've got cats, dogs, and birds, though."

"Well, then give me one of those big enough to ride."

The clerk raised his eyebrows but turned and entered the back. The sound of a lock being undone echoed out and there was an enormous bark. A commotion began outside and Thor was drawn to it. He exited the same way he had entered and the sounds of the animals within quieted with the jingling of a bell.

There was another bark and Thor hurried to see what could have caused it.

Standing at least ten feet tall, with fur as red as a rose, was a dog. Thor's eyes widened beyond measure and he stared at the thing in awe. Surely this could not be native to Midgard?

The pet shop clerk stood beneath the behemoth and was holding a leash that appeared more like reins. "His name's Clifford. He's pretty docile but he doesn't know his own strength. He's about a month old now."

Thor met Clifford's eyes and frowned. "This...this isn't how it went."

The clerk handed him the reins and smiled. "Hey, guy, didn't you read the script?"

A/N: This may be multi-chaptered, depending on feedback and if I can twist enough scenes that I remember. I've only seen it twice, so not everything is word for word, but I remember the scenes well enough. Hope you enjoyed! Tickle2Kill