Really really random. Don't own by the way (thank god!)
Jacob's Imprint
Jacob strolled back from town. Another failed day of trying to imprint on someone. He gazed at his reflection in the shop windows, sighing. Nothing could make him get rid of his love for Bella. Suddenly something caught his eyes. Slicking his hair back in a supposedly suave way, he walked in the shop to do business...
"Dad I'm home!" he yelled "and I have a surprise."
Billy Black wiped his hands and walked into the living room.
"What is it son?"
"I have imprinted!" said Jacob excitedly.
"Great! Where is she?"
Jacob drew someone or something from behind his back. Billy squinted at it. It was a cage with a gerbil inside.
"Nice joke son."
"It is not a joke father. I love her and she I," Jacob declared proudly. Billy pinched his arm.
"For some random reason I've decided to call her Renesmee Carlie Cullen!"
Billy blinked. Jacob stuck his finger through the cage and wiggled it.
"Come here my lovely Renesmee!" he cooed.
Billy went back to the kitchen making a note to call the psychiatrist.
Renesmee the gerbil sniffed Jacob's finger and savagely bit it.
Jacob screeched and burst into wet babyish sobs while kisssing his bleeding finger.
"Nasty Renesmee. Dirty Renesmee."
As I said before REALLY REALLY random!