So this was my dream last night...
It might not make much sense if you don't know me in person, this is mainly written purely for the lovely Ria. :)
But if you are reading this then I hope you enjoy it :)
Something buzzes by my head. It takes me a few moments to realise it's my phone, and it's ringing.
I stab the screen blearily trying to see which of my lovely irritating friends decided they were more important than my sleep.
Ria.
'Hello,' I mumble sleepily in the vague direction of the microphone.
'Wakey, wakey!' Her overly energetic voice rings in my ears for a full five seconds while I hold the phone away from my ear. 'Turn the TV on,' she tells me.
'Why?' I complain making no effort to do that.
'Just do it!' She whines. 'Now.'
I swing my legs off the sofa where I was asleep and press the button to turn the television on. 'Why?' I ask again as the light flickers across the screen uncooperatively blinding me.
The TV is on mute and I can't find the right remote to put the sound on so I leave it.
'Just go to channel one.'
I do. It's showing the Graham Norton show. 'Why am I doing this?' I repeat stifling a yawn.
'Look who the guests are!' Her excited voice squeaks down the line.
I focus my eyes on the two figures sat on the sofa. Benedict Cumberbatch and Eddie Redmayne. 'Yes, Ria. They're beautiful but it's recording, can I go back to sleep now?' I sigh curling up again.
'No!'
I'm fairly sure I can hear someone laughing in the background but I'm too tired to care. 'Why not?'
'I have a surprise for you!' she sings. 'Go get dressed, you'll be picked up in about three minutes!'
'What!?' No, I can't-'
'Just get ready,' she laughs. 'Where you're going you'll want to be dressed.'
'Fine,' I concede though I make no move to get my clothes. I was happy asleep, and unhappy being woken up by some sort of irritating guessing game. 'Are you going to explain what's going on?' I ask hopefully already knowing the answer.
'Nope,' she sings popping the 'p'.
I groan again.
'But don't hang up!' She suddenly blurts. 'Whatever you do, don't hang up until I say you can.'
'But-'
'Just go with it!' She orders like a small child who wants attention.
I roll my eyes but agree.
'Are you dressed now?' She asks.
'Yep,' I lie. 'All ready.'
'Good.'
She's so pleased with herself. And so dead.
A shrill ring sounds through the house. I yawn at it and tell it to shut up. 'That's the door, I'm going to-'
'Don't hang up!' Ria interrupts me.
'I won't hang up,' I laugh humouring her.
I open the door to see two men in black suits standing outside. 'Hi-' I start but they grab my arm, the one not holding my phone, and my waist and drag me into a waiting shiny black car.
'Was your plan to have me kidnapped or is this just really bad timing?' I ask the phone.
'Just play along!' She whines.
'I will actually kill you if you don't tell me what's going on.' I complain finding myself sat on my own in the back of the car.
'No you wont!' She sings happily. 'And wake up! You're too grumpy when you're tired.'
'I am awake,' I lie supressing another yawn.
'You don't look very awake,' her 'I know better' voice sang.
'What? You can-' I notice the small camera in the headrest of the seat in front. 'Ria!'
'I told you to get dressed, it's not my fault you didn't listen.'
I could hear the grin on her face.
'Maybe if you told me what was happening...'
'I gave you a clue, the Graham Norton show.'
I raise an eyebrow. 'Seriously?'
'Yes.' she says seriously. 'Now come on... think!'
'It's too early for this,' I complain. 'Can you please just tell me?'
'No I cant. That would spoil the surprise,' she tuts.
'I hate surprises,' I grumble but she doesn't even seem to hear me.
'And its 9! That is not early!'
'Well I'm lazy! So leave me alone.' I glare at the camera and she laughs.
'It'll be worth it, I promise!'
'It better be... or I will throttle you.'
She laughs again and I swear I can hear someone laughing in the background.
'Where are you?' I ask.
'Can't tell you stupid, that would give it away. But I'm watching the Graham Norton show.'
I yawn again. 'If you're driving me across... who knows where, just to watch that you will be dead by tomorrow morning. Benedict and Eddie may be two of the most perfect human beings on the planet but even they don't get to interrupt my sleep,' I let out a small laugh.
Ria doesn't reply for a moment but I can hear her laughing. 'You're nearly here,' she sings.
As she says that the car pulls to a stop and the door is swung open and a blindfold shoved over my eyes. 'Really?' I ask her. 'A blindfold?'
'Yes, don't complain.' She tells me off and I roll my eyes under the thick cloth.
I fell myself lifted from the car into the cold air and the gentle sway of wind against my arms as I'm carried, somewhere. I feel the heat hit me as we enter what I guess to be a building. 'Can you tell me yet?' I almost beg.
'Nearly,' she sings irritatingly.
I sigh again. I feel a jolt as I'm dropped heavily onto something soft. I think it's a sofa. 'Ow,' I complain to whoever it was who dropped me.
'You can hang up now!' I hear Ria sing but her voice doesn't come through the phone.
'It would help if I could see the phone screen,' I say just to be annoying.
Someone takes the phone from my hand.
'Thank you?' I say to the air. 'Can I take the blindfold off now?'
'Guess where you are first?' Ria says from somewhere in front of me.
I sigh but comply reaching my arms out around me to find something to give me a clue. My right hand hits something that feels a lot like a leg, I poke it feeling the suit material beneath my fingers. 'Who is this?' I ask guessing I'm not going to get an answer.
The only response Ria gives is a high pitched giggle. I sigh and poke the leg again following it until I find the rest of the body attached to it. It's not anyone I recognise. 'Do I even know you?' I ask laying my hand on their shoulder. Whoever they are they're quite tall. A deep laugh rumbles from their chest underneath my fingers.
I know that laugh.
Oh my-
RIA!
She didn't...
'Is that-' I don't even want to say it. If it's true I'm going to look like a complete moron. 'Ria, you are so dead right now.'
She laughs again. 'Nope!'
My hand finds his cheek and I wince as I nearly poke him in the eye. 'Sorry.'
Another familiar laugh comes from behind me and I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders moving to untie the blindfold. The cloth falls away from my face but my eyes stay tightly shut.
'You can open your eyes now,' I hear Ria laugh.
'I don't want to,' I say sounding like stubborn child, but I can't help the smile creeping determinedly onto my face.
The hands that were untying the blindfold move to my waist and before I know it I'm leaping away from the tickling with a small scream of protest. My eyes snap open just in time to look into Benedict's face before I find myself half on his lap with Eddie laughing beside me.
I gulp back a laugh and let go of Benedict's neck, which I don't even remember grabbing. 'Sorry,' I say awkwardly as I sit on my hands on the red sofa between both men.
Ria is standing in front of me laughing so hard she's leaning on the table. 'You're face-' she tries to say but she's laughing to much to manage more than those two words.
I try to glare at her but I can't keep the smile of my face. Suddenly it dawns on me: the phone call, the camera in the car, that was for the show. I bring my knees up my chest covering my face with my hands. 'You all heard everything I said, didn't you?' The silent laughter is answer enough. 'I am actually going to murder you.' I pull my hands down my face stretching the skin so I can see Ria still laughing, but able to compose herself.
'You love me really.'
'And it was very flattering,' Eddie chips is and I burry my face in my hands again.
'No, no, no, no, no,' I groan quietly. I'm not sure if I want to laugh or cry.
'No, really, it was,' Benedict flashes me a smile that makes me thankful I'm already sitting down. 'Very complimentary.'
I pull my face into an embarrassed smile. 'I'm actually sat... on the Graham Norton show... with Benedict Cumberbatch and Eddie Redmayne.' I say quietly. 'Oh for- I'm in my pyjamas!'
Ria laughs again. 'I told you to get dressed.'
'You still look beautiful,' Benedict winks and I know that I'm blushing.
I turn my eyes to Ria who was laying out some pieces of paper on the table. She is definitely going to die for this.
Eddie picks up one of the sketches of him and holds it next to his face. 'A perfect likeness I'd say.'
'Ria!' I yell.
'You know you like showing off your art...' she excuses herself with a grin.
I bite my lip tying to comprehend what's going on. I'm sat with Benedict and Eddie who are now busy looking through my art, of them, and commenting on it. I take a deep breath and try to calm my heart which is racing so much I can hear it in the back of my skull.
'Hey, I saw this one on Instagram didn't I?' Eddie asks holding up a small sketch of him putting a coat on.
I nod slowly.
'I did like the caption,' he grinned elbowing me lightly.
I blush again and Benedict starts asking me about a sketch of him as Sherlock in the 'ear hat'.
Ria and I end up talking to them for what seems like hours while they're making fun of me for being in my pyjamas and for what I said on the phone. They both sign several pieces of work and we take photos of us and them with the drawings.
Ria's trying to explain to Benedict what a selfie is and Eddie is attempting to draw a picture of me, but I keep laughing at his attempt which apparently is why it's so bad, because I keep moving.
'My nose is not that big!' I laugh trying to take the pen away from him but he snatches his hand back and draws a thick black line down my face.
'Well stay still then!' He complains with a smirk, ripping the disastrous sketch out and starting again. 'I'll get it right this time.'
He doesn't, but he signs it anyway and Ria packs it, along with the other art work into my sketchbooks. There's also a sketch Benedict attempted of Ria and I but it looks more like two hedgehogs than anything else.
They both give us a hug as we leave and Ria pokes me in the side. 'Still going to kill me?' she asks grinning.
'You won't survive till morning,' I tease and she jabs me in the side. 'But I do love you very much.'
'Of course you do,' She grins. 'I'm amazing.
Yes you are Ria ;)
I love you very much, even if you were extremely irritating at the beginning of the dream :p
