What Dreams May Come
(Epilogue to Siamese Dreams: At the end of Siamese Dreams, Clay Marshall had died after forcing his way into the missile room and dismantling one of the missiles for the explosive liquid inside. He had kidnapped Lucas and Dagwood and used his powerful psychic abilities to force Lucas to give him the codes for the missile deployment system. Marshall was convinced to give up his plans by Dr. Smith and died trying to save Dagwood from the explosion of the dismantled missile after Ford and Jim helped to get an unconscious Lucas out of the room. This story picks up three days later.)
Dark, dark and scary. Where was he? Where were his friends, his parents? Captain! Help me, help me! Don't tell, don't tell, don't tell. Hide, must hide, NO!!
Captain Nathan Bridger sat quietly in the dark medbay and stared at his young charge lying in the bed. Lucas had been unconscious for the last three days. Bridger had gone from worried to anxious about the young man. He could only imagine the terror that the teenager had gone through while held by Marshall. Marshall's tremendous psychic powers had bored through Lucas' brain and torn out the code to the missile deployment systems. Bridger could only guess at how Lucas had suffered and gave another round of thanks for Piccolo's newfound telepathic abilities.
Tony had used those abilities to talk to Dagwood and convince the man to protect Lucas instead of help Marshall. Tony was now back at the Chatton Parapsychic Institute to learn more about his abilities. The rest of the senior crew members had taken turns staying with Dagwood and helping him to understand that he wasn't at fault for helping Marshall. Dagwood's understanding of the world was simple and childlike. He didn't have the 'human' ability to lie and manipulate others, a fact that endeared him to his crewmates.
Bridger looked up when he heard the door open. Dr. Wendy Smith stood in the doorway, quietly lending her support to the captain. She entered quietly and stood by Lucas' side, reading the machines and caressing the side of his face gently. She knew what needed to be done, but she didn't think that the young man was able to stand the procedure. Wendy was a talented telepath and needed to be able to do a deep scan of the teenager's mind to check for psychic damage. The physical damage was healing and the neurological scans had indicated that no damage had occurred.
Her musings were interrupted by Nathan's harsh voice. "It's been three days. Three days! You said he would be fine, there wasn't any permanent damage, the scans were negative. But he hasn't woken up. Why not? What aren't you telling me?"
Wendy thought hard for a few moments before speaking slowly. "Clay was a very powerful telepath. I know for a fact that Lucas has a very remarkable mind and can be very resourceful."
"Stubborn." Nathan corrected.
"Stubborn," Wendy allowed. "I think that he was trying so hard to protect himself and not give up those numbers, that he overdid it. I'm afraid that he lost himself, his way out."
"You mean, he may stay in this coma, never wake up?" The despair in the captain's voice was heartbreaking.
Wendy forced herself to go on. "It is possible. I've seen it happen before. I need your permission to do a deep scan on his mind, see if I can find him and lead him back out."
"You can do that?"
"I can try. The danger is that he may not recognize me and retreat farther away, so far away that he may never find his way out." She stared into Nathan's dark eyes and held her breath.
"I don't know. Let me think about it for a while. Can you sit with him while I go to my quarters for a bit?" Bridger stood up, feeling the stiffness in his legs and back from sitting in the hard chair for so long. He left the medbay, feeling Wendy's sad eyes on his back for a long time.
His first step was the mess hall. He knew that Dagwood would be there this time of day with one of his friends. Tim and Miguel were sitting with the large man, trying to get him to eat. The pain and loneliness on Dagwood's face made Bridger's heart break even more. The GELF, as Dagwood was officially known, was a prototype of man made humanity, bred to war but flawed. His mind was that of a child, without the higher reasoning ability that would have marked him as fully human. The captain knew that Dagwood was blaming himself for Lucas's injury. He pasted on a smile and approached the table.
"How are you doing, Dagwood?" he asked gently.
"Okay." was the soft answer. "Is Lucas better?"
"No, not yet." Bridger couldn't bring himself to lie.
"My fault. I shouldn't have let that man hurt Lucas. He was a bad man." Dagwood's simple statement brought instant denials from both of his friends at the table.
"You didn't know that. He used you, Dag. He hurt you too." Miguel insisted.
Dagwood crossed his arms and shook his head. "Dagwood's fault. I hurt Dr. Smith and Lucas."
Bridger tried a new tack. "You saved Lucas, Dagwood. You listened to Tony and you saved Lucas. I'm proud of you for saving Lucas. Marshall was the one who hurt people. He hurt you, but you still helped Lucas." Bridger knelt down in front of his crewman. "Do you understand me? I'm proud of the way you helped Lucas."
Confusion crossed the GELF's face. "You're proud of me? But Lucas got hurt? Dagwood is better. Why isn't Lucas better?
"Yes, I'm proud of you. You helped even when you were hurt and confused. You knew what to do and who too listen to. It takes a brave person to do that." Bridger looked at Tim and Miguel.
"Why is Lucas not better?" Despair colored the big man's tone.
Bridger tried to find the words to describe Lucas's injuries. "When you saw Tony's dream, it hurt, right?"
"Uh, huh."
"Okay. That is how Lucas feels right now. It is his mind that is hurt. He isn't big and strong like you, so it takes him longer to get better."
"His mind is hurt? Lucas is very smart. Dagwood isn't smart. Dagwood brain not strong like Lucas?"
"Your brain may not be as strong as Lucas', but you are smart, just in a different way. But because Lucas is so smart, he got hurt really bad when Marshall was in his brain. Remember how you heard Tony? In your head?" At Dagwood's affirmative nod, the captain went on. "Lucas could hear Marshall in his head but tried to block him out. He tried so hard to hide in his mind, that now he can't wake up. He is still hiding. We just have to find a way to help him come out of hiding."
"Dagwood will help. Dagwood will protect Lucas. Is that the right thing to do? I didn't do the right thing at first, but I did later?"
"Yes, Dagwood you did the right thing, just a little later when you listened to Tony."
"He's right, Dag." Tim spoke up. "None of us could have done any better. You did good."
"Dagwood did a good thing?" Hope was returning to Dagwood's face.
"Yes, you did a good thing. Now can you do another good thing for me?" Bridger pressed his advantage. "I need you to sit with Lucas for me. Can you do that? I have to get some things done and I don't want Lucas to think that he is alone. He knows you were with him when Marshall hurt him so it will do him good for you to be with him now. Get it?"
Dagwood stood up. "I sit with Lucas."
"That's right. You sit with Lucas and tell Dr. Smith and me if he starts to wake up or if he is having any problems. You can do that, right?" Bridger let a smile cross his features as Dagwood stood up quickly.
"I can do that. Dagwood protect Lucas." With that profound statement, Dagwood left the mess hall.
"Do you think he understands, Captain." Tim asked.
"On some level, Tim." Bridger turned to face his officers. "I want to thank all of you for taking care of Dagwood. I know babysitting isn't in your job descriptions..."
"Taking care of an injured crewmate isn't babysitting, sir." Miguel corrected. "We stick together."
Clapping Miguel on the shoulder, Bridger felt proud to be part of this Seaquest crew. "Thank you."
Leaving the mess hall, Bridger made his way to his own quarters. He wasted no time in trying the comcode that he had memorized.
The call was answered by a busy looking man with dark skin, a bald head, and bad manners. "Energy Encore, Dr. Wolenczak's office."
Nathan came right to the point. "This is Captain Nathan Bridger aboard the SeaQuest. I need to speak to Dr. Wolenczak."
"Is this about his son, again?"
"Yes." Nathan's answer was blunt.
"I'm sorry, but Dr. Wolenczak is very busy. You can just give me the update and I'll pass it along to him." The man on the screen gave every impression that he had better things to do besides listen to Captain Bridger.
"Lucas is still in a coma. Dr. Smith is unsure of what other damage may have occurred. She wants to run some more tests." Bridger fought to make his voice pleasant.
"Dr. Wolenczak left instructions that you can call any specialist that you need and send the bill to him. Please keep us informed. Good day, Captain." The screen went blank and Bridger swore loudly. He didn't even try the other number that he had. Lucas' mother had made it plain that she didn't have time to nurse an invalid son and had given Nathan the name of a specialized nursing facility to send Lucas to. Nathan laid down on his bunk, intending only to rest for a few moments. He slipped quickly into an exhausted sleep.
Pain, pain and darkness. Where is he? Captain! Captain! Where are you?! Help me! I can't think, it hurts. Can't give in, can't tell, can't can't can't can't...
Early the next morning, Bridger made his way back to the Med Bay. There he found Dagwood sleeping in the chair, his hand resting protectively on the railing of Lucas's bed. His head jerked up as he registered the captain's presence. "Sorry. I fell asleep."
Bridger couldn't help but smile. "That's okay, Dagwood. You go on to bed now and get some real sleep. I'll watch Lucas now. You did a good job."
"Can I come back later?"
"Of course you can. But first, I want you to get some sleep and finish healing up. How are the burns?" Nathan nodded at Dagwood's arms and neck.
"They don't hurt now. Dagwood heals quickly. Daggars don't get hurt much." Dagwood was stating a simple truth about one of the reasons that GELFs had been designed. In a war, a soldier that got hurt easily or couldn't heal quickly, was a handicap.
"As long as you are okay, that's all I care about." Bridger gave Dagwood a big smile. "Now go on, I'll have someone check on you later and you can come see Lucas this evening."
"Okay. Bye Lucas. Feel better. The bad man is gone now." With that, Dagwood left the medbay.
Bridger turned to Wendy. "How is he this morning?"
"Not good. I think that he is slipping deeper. I don't think we have a choice anymore. I need to go in and see if I can find him."
Bridger didn't even have to think it over. Losing Lucas just wasn't an option that he cared to think about. "Do what you need to."
"This may take a little time. Don't interrupt me. I'm going to try to find him and bring him back. Watch the monitors for me. If you aren't sure what is going on, call for help. This could be dangerous for both of us." Wendy waited for her captain's nod before beginning.
Taking Lucas' hand, the young doctor wrapped both of her hands around his. She closed her eyes and became very still. Bridger could see the movements of her eyes behind her closed lids, but that was all. Her breathing became slow and deep and her face became pale.
Lucas? Lucas, it me, Wendy. Where are you? I've come to take you home. Talk to me, Lucas.
Go away! You're one of him. I can't, can't hurts. Help me! It's dark I'm lost. He hurts, can't give in, can't give in. Go AWAY!! I won't help you hurt Seaquest. Captain! Help me! I'll die first. Can't give in, can't give in...can't...
Lucas! It's safe now. Marshall's gone. It's safe to come back now. Come with me. Come to me, Lucas. Take my hand.
GO AWAY!!
Wendy felt a tremendous shove, then felt herself falling. Darkness crowded her mind, darkness and the pain of intense loneliness. Pain lanced through her head and clutched at her chest. Breathing became difficult, forcing her to pant for breath. Slowly, she became aware of words.
"Doctor? Wendy? Are you alright? Wake up now. Come on, that's a girl. Come on back." Bridger's face came into focus as Wendy opened her eyes. She found herself on the floor with Bridger holding her tightly. One of the med techs was beside her holding a scanner. Wendy took a few deep breaths to clear away the last of the pain before speaking.
"He's there, Nathan. But he is very scared. Marshall hurt him even worse than I thought. He doesn't know who to trust. He is pushing everything away to try and save himself and the SeaQuest. He doesn't know that Marshall is dead."
Bridger helped Wendy to stand and guided her into the chair. "Did you sense anything else?"
"You're the only one he trusts right now. He was calling for you to save him. I think that you are the only one that can bring him out of this."
"I can't enter someone's mind!" Bridger gasped in denial.
"Nathan, you already know that you do possess some psychic ability. I need you to use that now.
Bridger started to object again, but instead he turned to the still figure on the bed. Lucas looked much younger than his seventeen years. His abilities and resources had at first amazed the captain but now, he was counted as a valuable member of the crew. How could the captain say no to that? He nodded once, staying silent, never taking his eyes off the young man who had come to mean so much to him.
"What do I need to do?"
Wendy thought for a moment. "Take his hand. Just think to him. Think of how much you miss him. How you need him to come back to you. Project feelings of security, familiar things, his games, his friends, Darwin. Anything you can think of that he values and finds safe. That is what he is searching for, safety."
"I'll try." Copying Wendy's earlier pose, Bridger took one of Lucas' hands in both of his and closed his eyes.
"Lucas? I'm here kid. Come on back now. You're safe now. The ship is safe. Your friends need you here. Come on back now."
Captain!! Where are you? Help me! I can't tell, can't tell, can't tell. Hurts so bad. Have to save SeaQuest. My fault, my fault, coming! He's here, hide hide hide hide... Go Away! No!!
Bridger was dismayed by the images of darkness and the feelings of pain and guilt that flowed from the young man's mind. He tried harder to reach his friend, but finally was forced to give up, exhausted. He sank into the chair and put his hands over his eyes.
"I can feel him, but he can't hear me. Now what do we do?" Wendy's heart broke at the simple statement. She had always regarded Nathan Bridger as one of the strongest men she had ever met. The captain's depth of loyalty to his crew was one of the deciding factors for her to accept the SeaQuest assignment. Now, the man before her was barely recognizable as the tower of strength that so many counted on.
The young doctor knelt beside her friend and stroked his back. "I'm sorry, Nathan. I don't know what else to try." With nothing left to say, Wendy went back to her work, leaving her grieving Captain alone with his young charge.
An hour later, Bridger burst into the office where Wendy was working. "What if we all tried it?"
Wendy looked askance at him. "We all tried what?"
"What if the whole group of us, the senior staff, tried to reach Lucas together? He's trying to save the SeaQuest, well, we are the ship. Maybe if he sees all of us, he'll feel safe enough to join us."
Wendy thought for a moment. "It just might work. Let me call Tony back from the institute. With the three of us leading the way, the others can form a safety net of sorts. You explain things to the rest and I'll get in touch with Tony. It'll take him a couple of hours to get here."
"You do that." Bridger pulled his PAL out of his pocket and thumbed it on. "Bridger to Ford."
"Ford here, Captain."
"Commander. Assemble the senior crew in the ward room. Dr. Smith and I have an idea that could help Lucas. Make sure that Dagwood is there as well."
"Aye-aye Captain!" Bridger could hear the hope in his xo's voice.
Two hours later, Bridger looked around the table at the hopeful faces seated there. Jonathan Ford, Tim, Miguel, Tony, Dagwood, Jim Brody, Wendy, and Lonnie Henderson. Lonnie was new to the ship, as was Brody, but both had quickly become part of the tightly knit bridge crew. The eight officers were looking at their captain expectantly, hope fighting out with worry in their eyes. Bridger launched right into the explanation.
"Lucas isn't getting any better. It is Dr. Smith's opinion that Lucas tried to shield himself from Marshall by retreating into his own mind. The fact that Marshall did get the code from him proves to me just how badly Lucas was mentally injured. We all know how stubborn and protective Lucas is of this ship and the people on board. Now he thinks that he has failed and that it isn't safe for him to return to consciousness. Dr. Smith and I have both tried to contact him mentally and neither of us has had any luck."
Lonnie spoke up. "What do you mean by not feeling safe?"
Wendy answered that one. "The feelings and images that I get from him are ones of danger, darkness, loneliness, guilt..."
"Guilt? About what? Marshall forced him into the bunker. He tore the information right out of Lucas' mind. He has nothing to feel guilty about!" Ford stated emphatically. Jonathan Ford may not have been comfortable about psychic abilities, but he knew better than to dismiss them. He had seen a lot of strange and mysterious things during his tours of duty on the SeaQuest, and had learned to simply accept that the fact that not everything could be explained away.
"We know that, but Lucas doesn't." Wendy answered. "You have to remember, for all that we depend on Lucas, he is still only a teenager. Emotionally, he isn't an adult and isn't able to rationalize guilt or assign blame. I think his unorthodox childhood may have played into that."
"Yeah, ignore a kid long enough, tell him he's in the way, and soon he'll begin to think that everything is his fault." Miguel put in. It was no secret that Miguel found the behavior of the Wolenczak parents disturbing. "So, how do we help him?" Miguel was blunt as usual, but that seemed to be the opening that Bridger was looking for.
"I think that all of us should try together to reach him." Bridger started.
"I ain't doing no seance thing." Piccolo stated flatly.
"You hold a seance to contact dead people, Tony, not living ones." Tim corrected him, blandly.
Bridger snorted softly in amusement. "It's not like a seance, Piccolo. We're just going to try to reach Lucas on a mental level, just like you did to talk to Dagwood."
"Hey this head thing is really weird, but for the kid, I"ll try."
"Good." Dr. Smith said with a small smile. "The sooner we start, the better. I'm afraid that Lucas can't hold out much longer."
"What do you want us to do?" Tim asked.
"Let's go down to medbay and decide there." the captain suggested. Without waiting for an answer, he rose and led the way to the medbay and the bed holding their young friend. Now Wendy took charge.
"Nathan, you stand there and hold his hand. Everyone join hands and think at Lucas."
"Think of what?" Lonnie asked shyly.
"Think of the fun times you've had with him, the times he's helped each of you, the times you've counted on him for something, anything that will bring him back to us." Wendy explained. "If all of you can do that, Nathan and Tony and I can try to make those memories and messages reach Lucas. We can direct them into his mind."
Everyone nodded and formed a semi-circle around Lucas' bed. Wendy and Nathan each took one of Lucas' hands as the others held hands with each other. Following Wendy's example, each person closed their eyes and thought of their friend Lucas.
"Lucas, come back to us. We're here, waiting for you. Everything's okay now." Nathan thought.
Captain! Help me!
"I'm here Lucas. Grab my hand."
It hurts! The Seaquest is gone, he took the codes. Everyone's dead.
"We're here Lucas. You saved us. Remember?"
"We need your help Lucas. I can't do this on my own."
"Time to rise and shine, kid."
Pain! I'm scared. Go away! Help me Captain!
"I'm here. Come back to us. You're safe now. Everything is okay now."
"Lucas is safe now. The bad man is gone."
Long minutes went by with no sound or movement from anyone in the group. Nathan opened his eyes and looked at his crew. Each person had their eyes tightly shut and wore a look of intense concentration. Even Dagwood was trying his hardest to help. The captain shut his eyes again and tried to reach Lucas again,
"Look Lucas. Everyone is here and waiting for you." He made his tone as gentle as he could. "Please Lucas, I need you to come back."
Captain? Is it really you?
"Yes! Can you feel me?"
"He's gone?"
"He's gone. You did it, you can come back now. Your friends miss you. I miss you. You're safe now. Come on back, you can do it. Come one, reach for me. That's it! Just a bit more now."
Nathan opened his eyes when he felt the slight movement of Lucas' hand in his. "Lucas?"
Startled by their captain's whisper, the rest of the team opened their eyes and looked at the young man. No one dropped hands as they watched Lucas begin to move his head and grip the Captain's hand tightly.
Wendy bent down close to her patient. "Lucas?" she whispered. "Open your eyes for me. Come on, you can do it."
"Wake up, Lucas. Please" Dagwood pleaded. The others quietly added their encouragement to the janitor's plea. Minutes later their efforts were rewarded.
Lucas opened his eyes and raised his head slightly. He seemed mildly surprised to find both of his hands held and his closest friends gathered around him. "What's going on?" he asked weakly.
Nathan smiled widely. "We just thought we'd stop by and say good morning. You've been out for a while now."
"Out?" Lucas was confused.
"Do you remember what happened?" Wendy asked.
Lucas thought for a moment. "Marshall. He was in my head." Fear was beginning to creep back in his voice and eyes.
Nathan sat down beside Lucas and placed both hands on the young man's shoulders. "He's gone now. You're okay. You're safe now."
"Safe?" That small word was all it took for the rest of the group to gather in closer and begin talking at once. The fear left Lucas' face and he relaxed back into the bed, talking to his friends and knowing that he was safe and loved.