Disclaimer: This one-parter was just written for fun, not profit, no copyright infringement is intended. Of course I have no claim whatsoever on McLeod's Daughters or Tori Amos' beautiful song '1,000 Oceans'.  Please listen to it.

It was still here. She couldn't feel it, not as something distinct, but it had to be. If only she had a sign, just a flutter, just a heartbeat to reassure her. Yet somehow, she sensed it, she knew it was there. It was amazing how much it, the tiny human being, whose sex she didn't even know, meant. That grain of life.

if it seems I'm floating.

in the darkness

How close she had come to losing it…she couldn't…but the danger wasn't over yet. She wrapped her woollen jumper around herself a little more tightly and pulled the duvet up. It didn't matter what anyone said, there was no way she was getting up and putting the baby in danger again. Anything but that. The work, the farm, it didn't matter. She'd happily give it all up if she could only keep her child. Anything.

these tears I've cried

I've cried 1,000 oceans

The thought of losing the baby made her sick. She imagined Nick embracing her, telling her everything was fine. Nick looking at the ultrasound picture. Nick discussing names with her. Nick putting his hands on her belly. Her eyes fell on the picture on her nightstand, their wedding picture, in a new frame. All that happiness…how foolish. How stupid, to tempt fate like that. How unfair.

and I would cry 1,000 more
if that's what it takes
to sail you home

Nick. Their baby. A part of Nick. Free-floating, evanescent, fragile. The struggle of keeping it, of raising it on her own, always knowing that there would be no daddy, ever, seemed overwhelming. Scary, and still hopeful. Something to hope for. She wouldn't make a mistake, not again. After her parents, Claire and Nick, this baby was something she would defend with her life. Something she would kill for. It wouldn't leave her. They wouldn't get it.

I'm aware what the rules are
but you know that I will run
you know that I will follow you

One minute with Nick, that was all she wanted. One minute for Nick to see his son or daughter. But she did feel close to him. She did, closing her eyes, putting her arms across her belly. He was still there. She could have screamed. She could have laughed. She could have cried.

I can't believe
that I would keep
keep you from flying

Nothing, nothing would ever happen to that child. She would keep it close, never send it away, never let it be hurt. It was the only thing left.

these tears I've cried

I've cried 1,000 oceans

She breathed without sobbing. It breathed. They breathed. They were alive.

sail you home