Special thanks to Justyouraveragebearcub and the-impala-diaries for helping me.

Author Notes: I went through and tried to fix the mistakes. I'll be more careful. I guess transferring to this format from my other did weird stuff and pressed words together and such. Sorry if it was hard to read. I'll go through and check the future chapters as closely as I can next time. Let me know if you see any mistakes. (next chapter will be up by tomorrow)

Enjoy

A year ago there wouldn't have been anyhesitation on who Stiles would have called. He doesn't doubtthat Scott wouldcome,he's not the type to leave a friend hanging, unless Allison is involved, especially if sheis naked. Scott is his brother from another mother and it may be just the shock but in his moment of need he didn't even think to call him, instead he called Derek. Although inhis defensehe did have a few good reasons to call him, arguably logical ones.

He is experienced and was somewhat helpful with Scott ...in I'll kill you if you out yourself sort of way.

He's Da dog, the Alpha, red glowing eyes and has 'I killed my psychopathic Uncle' Authority.

The dude owed him. Several times over in fact. Knowing him had put years on him, years.

All of which are good grounds to call Derek, but his reasoning was just because he had thought it would be funny. Stiles could fault his sense of humor on the loss of blood, or the traumatic stress disorder that he will likely develop after today but itreally just came down to being weird. He blames had gotten Derek's number from Scott's cell two years ago and counted it as evidences in his favor that his luck had improved when the phone rang, although considering a werewolf had bitten him in the ass he had nowhereto go but up. He was disappointed that Derek didn't have a ring back. He pictured him as a98 degree fan. It would have been epic if his ring back was rocking 'Heat it up', sadly it was as generic as his wardrobe. After the fifth ring it occurred to Stiles that he might not answer. They weren't really on friendly terms, he kinda got the feeling that Derek viewed him as Scott's annoying side kick and barely refrained from eating him.

"What?" Answered a voice growled from the other end. Stiles grinned. Derek's indefinite sour mood bought much amusement to him, he was and still is very terrified of him,but there is something comical about a man that never smiles

"Hello?" He was annoyed now, his voice was drippingwith irritability and Stiles knew he had to say something or risk being hung up on. This was always the awkward part, starting aconversation. Getting to the point would be a should say 'Help me! A flamboyant werewolf bit me in the buttocks and I'm lyingin a pool of my own blood' buthis mind went blank. He has never performed well under pressure and if you would ask Amy Smith,a brunette with cute dimples he met at freshmen Orientation, she would agree. She had invited him to the Kappa Sigma party and after a couple of drinks she asked him to her dorm...He had offered to pay for her dry cleaning,but she insisted that he leave.

When he joined college things were going to be different for him. He wasn't going to be the side kick anymore, he had planned on taking the University by storm, no party un-crashed, deflowering virgins by the bucketful but instead Three Second Stilinski was born. So long story short, he didn't perform well under pressure.

"I can hear you breathing Stiles," Derek growled.

"How you doing?" Stiles asked impersonating Joey from Friends. He had a bit of insomnia due to Mountain Dew and internet porn and tended to watch a lot of late night reruns of 90 sitcoms. The impersonation was pretty spot on most days, but most days his mouth isn't full of blood.

"Are you drunk?"

"I was...but I'm pretty sure I ran it off," Stiles replied. He hadn't been that drunk when he had left the bar. Maybe a little tipsy, he wasn't falling down or making an ass of himself,but his inhibitions was way lowered...way, way lowered.

"How didyou know it was me from just hearing me breathe...I can't decide if that's romantic or creepy."

"Shut up Stilinski," Derek barked angrily into the phone.

Stiles obediently closed his mouth. Derek is such an angry person. He's pretty sure it's from a lack of release. He was probably too self-loathing to masturbate and despite havingthe body of a god, rugged good looks and thatbad boy attitude that girls seem to like, his personality scared everyone away.

"What the hell do you want?" Even though it was in the form of a question, it was irrefutably a threat. Derek probably didn't have anything going on so clearing his schedule to come up and kick his ass was a real possibility.

"Well-I-was-at-a-bar-and-this-dude-kept-buying-me-drinks-I-was-like-what-the-hell-he's-not-bad-looking-and-college-is-the-time-for-experimentation-well-I-left-with-him-and-he-attacked-me-and-bit-me-on-the-ass-then-another-werewolf-showed-up-and-tackled-him-and-they-started-having-this-werewolve-death-match-fur flying-and-biting-not-my-idea-of-Saturday-fun-so-I-ran-I'm-currently-behind-my-dorm-bleeding-pretty-bad-and-I-can't-go-into-my-dorm-because-my-asshole-roommate-has-a-girl-over-and-threatened-to-shave-my-hair-into-the-shape-of-a-penis-if-I-come-back-tonight," Stiles said in a rush, trying to get it all out as fast as he could,and immediately let out a hurried other end of the line was silent as Stiles recovered. His breathing labored.

He'd had a broken rib once after taking a shot from Jackson in Lacrosse practice and this felt a lot like that. It was hard to keep on any oneline of thought, his head felt foggy, he was burninghot and icycold all over and the pain really sucked.

"So...um are you busy?" Stiles was worried when there wasn't a response. He hoped that Derek hadn't hung up on him.

"Hello?" He asked softly. Surprised at how vulnerable he sounded. He really hoped that Derek couldn't hear it as clearly as he could.

"I'll be there in forty minutes."

"It's a ninety minute drive." Stiles said and rolled on his stomach to relieve some of the pain in his ass.

"Not the way I drive," Derek retorted and Stiles heard shuffling. "How bad is the wound?"

Stiles turned his head and examined the backside of his pants that was ripped and soaked with his blood. "I can't really see it,being that it's my ass and all, but I don't think I'm going to bleed out...I think my wrist is broken it's the size of a softball and it hurts to take deep breaths."

"What dorm?" Derek inquired. Stiles heard a door slam and then the roar of Derek's Chevrolet Camaro engine come to life.

"Bradly Hall," Stiles responded. "I'm...in the tree line in the back. Kinda near—"

"I'll be able to smell you once I get there," Derek interrupted. "I'm hanging up now."

Stiles mouth opened to say something but closed it when he heard the click of the ended call. Stiles closed his phoneand laid it in front of him. Maybe he should have called Scott, at least he would have stayed on the phone with like this isn't a traumatic experience or anything. He sighed heavily and tilted his head and looked back at the bite. He couldn't see through the blood, and shredded fabric, but he was certain his ass was mangled.

"I don't want to be a werewolf," he whined softly to himself.

He wouldn't mind the speed and strength,but no way would his dad let him sit on the couch now, and not to mention the baggage that came with being one. Scott's emotions werealways bouncing around. One minute he wanted to kill Stiles and the next he was acting like he was in heat and rubbing against stuff and mumbling about Allison. Stiles doesn't need a reason to rub against stuff, that's pretty much his down time as is! Plus the Hunters...oh god, the hunters. He's not a bad ass like Derek, or lucky like Scott. He's gonna end up in two halves by the end of the tombstone is gonna read:

Here Lies Three Second Stilinski
 Bit on the Ass
 And cut in half.

He lays his head down in defeat "I am so dead."

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