Summary: Kelly was a normal girl living a normal life. Okay, having an 800 year old, snarky ghost for a conscience isn't exactly normal. Neither is having a major crush on a certain evil someone. But she just put it out of her mind as crazy thoughts that would disappear once she found a real boyfriend. She couldn't have been more wrong.

Sorry about the html, I have this posted on my DA site and I wrote it for that originally. It is a companion to Tails of Konoha, a comic I run there and a story by my sister called Kakashi's Kaze Koneko.

Okay, so, this is classified as AU (Alternate Universe). In this, in case you can't tell from further reading, I've left out the whole 'body hopping' ordeal that's in the manga. This really started out as a release from my cannon centric Living Blade Alchemist. Also, not all the characters associated with this guy will be appearing, I might change my mind though. I have a habit of doing that. Anyway, enjoy and go with the flow! :D

Opening Song: True to Your Heart-98 Degrees and Stevie Wonder

End Song: Down to Earth-Peter Gabriel

Introduction

"All I'm saying is that none of the one's I've met have seemed right Baldwin…"

If you had seen me then, you would have very well suspected that I was crazy and sent me down the road to the Four Winds mental institution. Heh, isn't that like every town? Always a nut house nearby. But yes, it looked like I was talking to myself as I strolled through the woods behind my house. But I wasn't talking to myself technically, I was talking to Baldwin.

Most people are born with a little voice in their head, their guardian, conscience, daemon, call it what you will but it is a little voice of reason that nudges us in one direction or the other. Well, my conscience is terribly chatty. Not only that, but he's actually a ghost from the crusades. Baldwin IV, leper king of Jerusalem and slightly cantankerous for all the years he's waited for this job. As crazy as it sounds, it's true; I have an 800 year old snaky ghost of a king for a conscience/guardian. But as annoying as he can be, Baldwin and I get along just fine. Perhaps Phillip Pullman was onto something after all…Tim Lebbon too if he can ever get himself outta the angst rut he dug in Dawn.

But back to the story:

"I wonder if I'll ever find the right guy." I sighed, flopping down on a rock.

"Oh quit being so melodramatic. " Baldwin grumbled "In my day…"

"You're one to talk! You never married you old corpse!" I retorted.

He hates it when I comment on the 'state' of his body. As much as I love the man in my head, I can't help but tease him. I guess you could say that's how I let him know I care…no wonder I was having trouble finding a boyfriend.

We sat on that rock for a while. Baldwin saw silent for the most part, only bothering me once to point out a deer. We have enough of those in Westchester; so much so that now we don't even look out the window when they come by. You've seen one deer you've seen 'em all, including the ones all over I-95…

"You know why you can't get a real boyfriend?" Baldwin asked.

"Why Dr. Phil?" I drawled.

"Because you spend too much time fawning over those manga people!"

"I oughta smack you for that. I can't help that they're attractive."

"They take away from reality!!"

"Well when I find my one true love I'll forget all about those incredibly cute manga men! How's that you old geezer?"

"Hmpf, if you say so you geek-chick." Baldwin sneered.

I got up and prepared to walk back to the house when something caught my eye.

TG: (thegriffin) I recently heard that Dr. Phil's wife left him. Ironic much?