Disclaimer: I do not own Yggdra Union, or any characters in it. Had I, there'd been lots and lots of shojo-ai in it, or more likely, there wouldn't have been any male units for you to use... Shifty look

PS: I lied. I totally am gonna say I own Yggdra and Rosary 'cause I can. :D

Author Note: This is my little attempt at an angst fanfic. I'll warn you ahead of time, this is fueled by my current obession with the angst in Kannazuki no Miko.

Forbidden Desires

It had been at least a week since the end of the Yggdra War, the war that forever changed the world. And in that week, Rosary Esmeralda of House Esmeralda, had been able to barely eat a single bite, drink a few drops, or sleep a few winks. This of course caused no end of pain for her servants, whom were deeply concerned with their mistress locking herself in her room for hours on end, and everytime she came out she almost seemed to be dead; her honey-brown hair normally as smooth as silk and lavishingly cared for was a mess, tangled and knoted it's shiny luster destoryed, and the witch's pale red eyes seemed lifeless and full of sadness.

Rosary lay sprawled out on her bed, staring vacantly at the ceiling of her room as another light knock came on her door.

"Mistress Rosary...?"

But only silence answered, as the witch turned away from the door and in time, she could hear the defeated footsteps of one of her servants.

None of them understand... None of them can imagine how I feel... Why couldn't I have done something? Why did I have to wait for so long, thinking I'd be noticed? Why did I truely believe that my feelings were mutual? You are such a fool Rosary...

With a sigh, the brown-haired witch rolled back onto her back and layed a hand over her heart and sighed. Rosary didn't read much, but she had always scoffed at romance novels about how a hurt heart would feel, believing no such thing could truely exist but now... The witch could believe it, she could feel the pain and the heartbreak.

Yggdra... Why is it that when you agreed to take me with you into the Royal Army that I felt so joyful? I had no right too, I had lost my Ankh and I had failed my people by being played like a puppet by the Empire and yet... When you let me come with you, to fight by your side, I felt such a joy that no words could describe it, it was merely indescribable. Even though we were at war and people would die, being by you gave me strength and I felt like nothing was impossible, that no price was too high just to see you smile.

Your smile alone would've been enough for me to throw myself into the very pits of Hell, just to let it last eternally, to never let it fade, and even if it were the last things I could ever see, even if I had to damn my soul into eternal damnation, I could pass on without so much as a speck of regret. But when did I realize why I felt so joyful around you? Did I realize it when you were taken away from me? When my heart was gripped with such a pain, with so much suffering, I thought I would've died? Was it then I realized I loved you?

Ah... Love, such a simple word, so easy to say but yet, I couldn't say it. I wanted too so much when we came to your rescue, when I held your unconcious body in my arms, I wanted to tell you how I felt... But I couldn't do it, I feared too much that you would be afraid of me and push me away, my mind was plagued with the thoughts of you finding my love 'unnatural', for me loving you despite me being a girl. The very thought of just losing you was worse then dying a million times and feeling the pain of each death for all eternity.

Again, the depressed witch was wrenched from her thoughts by another set of knocks at her door, and again another servant's voice so full of sorrow issued forth, asking for entry. But again, the witch responded only with silence, and again the servant left. With the return of the comforting silence, Rosary was able to return to the hell that was her mind, to plunge deeper into the devouring abyss that was her soul...

You are the Queen of Fantasia, the sole monarch in our world. Me? I'm nothing more then a noble, the leader of House Esmeralda. You may as well be a Goddess, and me nothing more then a lowly insect. You have no obligation to even consider the thought of loving me, no you have the duties of the monarch, you have the burden of having to realize you are the last of your blood and without your children, your line will end and with it, so will the last blood of kings. But me? Even if I am the last Esmeralda, the pain of my passing would be but a drop in the bucket compared to the cascading effects if you died with no heir.

A world full of suffering and war is nothing compared to the pain a small, leaderless country would feel. Yggdra Yuril Artwaltz, why is that fate had to be so cruel as to show me to you, to allow me to fall in love with you, for you to be the sun of my very existence... Without you, there is nothing but a deep hole in my very being, a devouring black hole, a voice that tells me each waking day isn't worth it if I do not wake up to find you by my side... Is it selfish of me to think of this? Is my pain and suffering, my agony not worth it, if the world shall prosper and thrive? Could I even believe that if I could steal you away from your duty as Queen, that I could justify the dooming of everything just so I could love you and you love me? Ha... But what chance is it that you Yggdra, could even love me?

Yggdra... You are everything to me. You are my sun, my life, my hope, and my soul. Ever agonizing moment without you near me, without being able to see your smile, without being able to smell your beautiful smell, and without being able to touch you makes me die little by little inside... The only thing stopping me from throwing myself into the devouring abyss, is the tiny glimmer of hope that you love me... I could not ever think of dying without telling you, without giving you my truth...

"Mistress Rosary...? Please... Answer..." pleaded Rosary's servant for the unknownth time, it dawned on Rosary that the servant had been trying to get a response out of her for quite some time now

The brown-haired witch relented and sluggishly dragged herself out of bed and shoving the door open, to her servant's suprise.

"What?" asked the depressed witch in a flat, emotionless tone

"Mistress R-Rosary I w-was so... Ah, I mean... Your Mistress, it's just, uhm..." studdered the servant, nervously fidgeting

"What?" repeated Rosary, quickly growing tired of being out of the hell that was her room

"A-ah... It's just, I'm so sorry but... When you hadn't come out of your room for so long I uh, sent a messenger to Castle Paltinia and..."

At that news, Rosary's eyes grow wide in shock.

They know...? Could it be...? Is...?

"... Queen Yggdra is here to see you."

"Where!?" said the witch firmly, gripping her servant's shoulders tightly and giving her a shake, her pale red eyes staring right into the shocked purple eyes of her servant, "Where is she!?"

"A-ah... Queen Y-Yggdra is waiting at the guest ro-"

Rosary didn't bother to hear the rest, as soon as the words "guest" were out, the witch knew right where Yggdra would be, where her sun would be. And she couldn't bear another second without seeing her.

Yggdra... Now I can tell you... Tell you everything...

Of course, the witch already had everything planned out. If Yggdra loved her, she could wish for nothing more... But if it was true Yggdra didn't love her, if the very core of her being would refuse her... Then with the crushing of her love, would follow the end of Rosary Esmeralda of House Esmeralda...