In the dreams he can walk, if they're good. If they're bad he falls in the hallway in slow motion, he sees Rick coming toward him, unable to stop what he knows will happen.
"Shouldn't you be in school?" he said as Craig strolled in, snapping off the radio, sitting down.
"Study hall," Craig said dismissively, and he still pulled himself up by the bar as Craig started talking about Ashley. Rapid fire Ashley, she was going to break up with him, what should he do, blah, blah, blah. He let the bar go hard, and it swung violently until Craig stopped it.
"Sorry. I'm just talking about myself. I shouldn't," Craig said, contrition in his eyes.
"No, you should," he said, and he meant it, was usually glad for the distraction Craig provided. He was the only one who didn't ask awkward questions about how he was feeling and how he was doing. Craig was, as always, self-centered.
"Look, it's not rocket science. Talk to her," No, he wasn't upset that Craig talked about himself. He looked at him, letting go of the bar, sitting on the bed, something no one else does, either. Fear of hurting him, fear of his injury.
He watched Craig lick his lips, stare off into space, and he knew those lips would kiss Ashley's lips and that those eyes would gaze into Ashley's eyes.
Ashley Kerwin, difficult opinionated girl. He'd lost her. Lost her to Craig in fact. Ninth grade, and he hadn't been friends with Craig then. The troubled rich boy who'd somehow seen through the vampire goth of his girlfriend's wardrobe, seen through to her soul. The day of that Shakespeare skit, Ashley had been his girlfriend. He'd lost her though, boy, wanting the prom teen queen she'd been back, wanting the bubbly personality and the pretty hair and clothes. What were those things? Just decoration.
No. Craig won her fair and square and he couldn't blame him or even himself. He felt his numb legs through his pants, feeling only the pants and the legs like they were someone else's. He had to stop blaming people.
"Her house is full of wedding," Craig was saying, not looking at him, "and Caitlin and Joey are painting at my place, so it looks like something out of a horror flick,"
Jimmy squinted at Craig. He seemed a little off. He couldn't figure out what it was.
"Want me to see if there are any vacancies here?" he said, still looking critically at Craig. Just sitting on the edge of his bed but every one of his muscles seemed to be moving. Both legs were shaking up and down.
"Yeah. Vacancies," Craig said, and stood up, looked down at him and seemed to see him at last.
"I better get back to school," he said fast, and patted his shoulder, "see you later,"
"Yeah. Okay,"
"Okay. Okay, Jimmy. See ya. Bye,"
He left, and he was alone again, thinking of Ashley. Craig won her fair and square, but cheated on her. And what was he thinking of anyway? He had Hazel who came to see him faithfully two to three times a week, her eyes still filling with tears, asking in her small voice if he felt okay.