Disclaimer: I do not own anything (characters and settings) you might recognize from the TV Show Harper's Island. I do own, however, Jamie Mance.
Chapter the First – Memories
I was late. I looked down at my watch and saw that I was more than 20 minutes late. Abby was going to kill me! I asked the cab driver to go a little faster, and he grunted something under his breath and just gave me the evil eye. Well I couldn't care less about his mood; all I wanted was to get to my friend.
We had taken the same flight, but I had to make a small detour, to pick up the wedding gift I had ordered in a small store in downtown Seattle, while she came straight from the airport.
As we reach a traffic jam, I muse at everything that happened in the past seven years of my life. I mean, I was born in Harper's Island, to Marilyn and Hank Mance, the younger sister of Jimmy. Who knew little Jamie Mance, would, one day, become a doctor living in Los Angles?
That is the only good thing that came with the Wakefield killings, it gave me perspective. I realized how small that island really was, and that I needed to change.
Seven years ago, a maniac by the name John Wakefield, came to the island and killed six people. One of them was Abby's mom. My friend never recovered.
She left the very next day, breaking my brother's heart in the process. I should hate her, like Shane, but I couldn't. I knew how much it cost to lose a mother, and she had the added fact that her mother was murdered and that she found the body. I understand and so did my brother.
I still remember the day I told him and dad that I had won a full scholarship to Stanford University. Jimmy was stunned but my dad… he was furious. He yelled, he threatened, he even tried to hit me, but Jimmy stopped him, of course. I just packed up my bag and left. I still hear his words in my head…
"If you dare to walk out that door, I swear on your mother's grave that you'll never come back... You'll be dead to me!" He yelled at me.
"If you can't understand and be happy for me then I don't want to be your daughter anymore, Hank." I snapped. He wouldn't change my mind. No one would.
So, with my small bag on my back and a bigger one in my hands, I left the Mance household. Jimmy came after me.
"Jamie. Jamie! Please stop." I didn't budge. "Damn it, Jay, stop right there." Jay was the nickname our mom gave me when I was younger. He knew not to use it. I stopped and turned to him, angry.
"What? "
"Jesus Jamie, stop for a second and think things through. He's not kidding. I know what we have is not much, but it's better than nothing."
I sighed and dropped my bags. My brother was giving me a pleading stare.
"I did, Jimmy. I've been thinking things through for one whole year. I want to get off this island; I want to see the world; I want to be someone not just some fisherman's wife." I said with a slight sneer in my voice. A look of pain flashed across Jimmy's eyes at my harsh words, but if it made him understand my point of view, then so be it.
After a pregnant pause he just looked at me sadly and hugged me.
"Okay. I didn't know you felt this way. You should have said something… I would've understood it. You know I would."
"I… I was just… I'm sorry Jimmy."
"Nah, don't be. Just promise me you won't forget me, okay?"
The tears were flooding my eyes. I was going to miss him so much. He was my big brother, my protector, my friend, I adore him. How could I be thinking about leaving? Especially after Abby, he never recovered from her absence and now I was making him lose another person he loved. I should stay.
I think he saw my internal battle, because he picked up my big bag and put one arm around my shoulders, as he took me to the pier, where the boat was waiting to take me to mainland.
On the way there he kept my mind busy with his warnings and advices. By the time we got to the pier I was laughing my ass off at some of the things he was saying. I was sad cause I was gonna leave him but I was relieved that he at least was on my side on this thing. But just as we were saying goodbye he asked me the one question I really didn't want to answer.
"Wait a minute. It's still early, you won't be designated a room in the dorm for another three weeks where are you going to stay?"
"I'll be staying with a friend." I hoped that would satisfy him.
"What friend?"
Guess not.
I took a deep breath. He would be mad, worse, he would be hurt. You see, after Abby left, she never called anyone in Harper's Island… but me. She gave me her number and address and begged me not to tell anything to Jimmy. She put me in between a rock and hard place, he was my brother, she, my good friend. In the end she won, because she only wanted to know how Jimmy was faring, and I didn't want her to lose anything else. So I kept it to myself, I hide the fact that I knew were she was.
But now I had to tell him because he would never let me leave without telling him where I would be staying. So, in a little voice I answered, "Abby."
"What! Are you crazy? You don't know where she is, how you can be …"
I think he must have seen something in my face because he didn't finish. Instead he said, "You know were she is." It wasn't a question.
His voice was cold, hard, like I never heard him using on me. I looked at him and just nodded. He turned his back on me and I was about to say something, when he sharply turned, almost makin me crash against him, "How long?"
At first I didn't understand the question so Jimmy clarified.
"For how long have you been in contact with her?"
I lowered my head and uttered, "Almost a year."
He said nothing, just looked at me with those big brown eyes filled with something I had never seen directed to me: disappointment. I wanted to say something, explain and maybe defend my actions. Instead I just stood there and watched him turn his back on me and leave. I felt a tear running down my face but didn't even bother to clean it up; I knew there were more to come.
The sound of a horn brought me out of that memory, and the line moved a bit, only to stop again. The memories pulled my right back in.
I landed on LAX some hours later, having already cried all the tears I had and ready to start my new life. Abby was there waiting for me. She then took me to that small studio she had and we spent the night talking.
For the next three weeks I tried to call home everyday. Everytime my dad or brother picked up the phone they disconnected right after. I was getting antsy and worried. What if something happens to dad or to Jimmy? I would never forgive myself for not being there.
Finally, after three excruciating weeks of no news, I managed to talk to someone, though it was neither dad nor Jimmy. It was none other than Shane Pierce.
"Shorty! How's the big city treating you?" he never called by my name, only by that stupid nickname he got me when I was little. I never confessed to him, but I kinda like it. Of course when I was younger it used to drive me mad.
"Fine, Shane. What about them? Is everything alright?" Worry laced my words.
"As good as they can be, under the circumstances." He paused and I knew the recrimination shouldn't be far off. But Shane seemed to change his mind. "Jimmy and I landed a job today."
My mind was a racing a mile a minute. What kind of a job could they possibly have found on the island? When it dawned on me what the job probably was, I started cursing. To which Shane just laughed, obviously.
"Don't let your brother hear those words, Shorty. Who knew you had such a foul mouth?"
"Shane what job did you and Jimmy got?"
"You know, on a boat." His voice was quite sombre.
"NO! Jimmy has such a potential why the hell does he have to follow in Hank's footsteps?" I said spiting my father's name like it was some sort of disease.
"You know, Shorty, everyone has a right to make their own decisions..."
Finally we were getting somewhere. "Just say it already, Shane, I know you want it."
"Why did you have to go? Jimmy needed you. I needed you." There was so much pain in his voice, which made me wince all those miles away. Shane Pierce hated to discuss his feelings, so that could only mean that he was really hurt. And that was all my making. My god, what's wrong with me? How can I hurt so many people?
I must've spaced out for quite a bit before Shane's voice brought me out of my self loathing, "Hey Shorty? Are you still there?"
"I'm still here, Shane." I answered in a meek voice. There were so many things I wanted to say. The only that got out was an apology, "I'm sorry."
I truly was. But not for going away, just for the way I handled everything. If I were to be honest with myself I knew that all this came as a shock to everyone. My brother was right, I should've told him something. Should've vent to someone. Instead I kept it all to myself, putting up a front that everything was fine when it wasn't true. I've thrown a curve ball at everyone and hit every single one of the people I loved.
"I know you are. But you better be a damn good doctor or else I might be tempted to go there to kick your ass. And don't worry about him. I got his back until your safe return. And his stubbornness is breaking already. He'll be talking to you in no time. Bye, Shorty. Behave." The care in his words was unmistakable.
I smiled. I knew everything would be fine now, "Thanks Shane. Bye."
Shane had been right. By the next time I called, Jimmy was the one who answer my phone call, and while he hadn't been the warm, caring brother I was used to, he was nice enough.
The line moved a little bit further. I could now see the sea at the distance. I should be getting very close. The big boat that would be taking the wedding party to Harper's Island should be just around the corner. Of course that leads me to yet another memory…
Spring break of my second year at Stanford University was one of the best of my entire life. Abby convince me to go spend those weeks with Henry Dunn, her best friend from growing up. I didn't really wanted to go, but she annoyed me until I accepted her proposal. So, three days before the official beginning of Spring break, Abby and I hit the road to Washington State University.
We caught the big end of semester blow out. Abby just smiled and said I had been cooped in my dorm room for far too long, that I need to have some fun. And there was this smile in her face, a peaceful one. I liked this Abby; it reminded me of the one from before.
As we got closer to the frat house we were accosted by several boys. We just smiled and moved along. And, as we were laughing, my eyes caught a pair of blue ones.
They belonged to this gorgeous guy. He was clearly a frat boy, and judging by the quantity of girls he had around him, I would say he was a player. He was tall, not that strongly built, but toned enough, with dirty blond hair in a spiked style, and a smirk adorning his face.
As he was coming in our direction Abby pulled me towards the entrance of the frat house, and by the time I looked back at him, he had disappeared. I frowned briefly at my best friend, but followed her nonetheless. When my friend yelled and started to frantically wave her arms I looked in that direction and saw four guys.
I recognized Henry Dunn immediately, he was taller and bigger since the last time I saw him, but he had that same goofy grin and warm eyes. Next to him was a young African-American boy that I deduced was Danny. He was cute and had an easy smile in his face. The other two I wasn't sure, after all they were suppose to be five of them, not four.
I followed Abby and watch as Henry hugged and lifted her off the ground and then passed her to the other three guys with several shouts of "ABBNER" in their midst.
I laughed and that made them turn their eyes to me. My mirth instantly vanished. Henry was the first to approach me, "Hi Jamie, how's everything going?"
With a smile I answered, "Great Henry, it's nice to see you, it's been so long."
"Yeah, but we'll have time to catch up later. Now it's time to do some introductions." He put an arm around my shoulders, turned me to his friends and I noticed a new addiction to the group: Blue Eyes. The guy was talking and laughing with Abby in a way that demonstrated closeness.
"Guys, you all know Abby Mills." Henry said pointing to my brunette friend who had a smile on her lips. "Now let me introduced you to Jamie Mance. She's also from Harper's Island. And she's not legal enough to drink yet, so no beer for her got it Sully?" He joked.
I pouted and they all laughed.
"So this is Danny" He indicated the dark skinned boy, whom smiled and waved. "That's Booth" This boy was a brunette with glasses and a very nervous look on his face. But he too, smiled and waved. "That big guy over there is Malcolm" When the boy didn't say anything, because his eyes were glued to a girl dancing around, Henry passed to the final boy, Blue Eyes, "And finally, the last but not the least, Sully" The blond smirked rather than smiled and gave me a once over.
Danny and Henry both gave him foul looks, but he just ignored them. As I got closer to him, I just repaid him in the same way, checking him out. Abby laughed the same as the others. That made an even bigger smirk appear on his face and he grabbed my hand and kissed it, softly. Then, turning to the lot of them, he said, "Now this is my kind of a girl. Where have you bee hiding her, Abbner?" I was elated.
As the night progressed our big group split into smaller ones. Henry and Abby were dancing and laughing. Malcolm and Booth were at the sole pool table. And I was left at a table with Danny and Sully playing some sort of drinking game with some of the boy's friends.
Some time later I was already a little tipsy. My inhibitions had flown out the window and I was openly flirting with Sully as well as Danny. I was in the process of explaining, to the two clearly amused boys, why I thought Danny would look better with longer, braided hair when the smile was wiped out of his face. I frowned and followed is eyes to Henry, who was also frowning. From there I looked to the door and saw the cause of the sudden tension in the room was a petite and beautiful brunette.
She was looking rather contrite as she caught sight of Henry and I wonder if she was the girlfriend, Trish, which had recently broken up with him. Then I noticed Sully's eyes were fixed on her. When she noticed his stare she smiled and waved, right before disappearing from our line of sight.
I decided then and there I didn't really liked Trish Wellington.
As my taxi gained some more ground on the big line I wonder if I was going to survive this wedding. The only things making me strong were the facts that I was there to show my support to Abby and to see my brother Jimmy.
His name brought both a smile and a tear to my face as I recalled the last time we had been on the island together, about four years ago…
Sully and I were fighting, again. It seemed that's what our relationship was all about, that and of course, making up with heated make out sessions.
That summer our group decided to spend some time together. So Sully and I were close, like really close, and the attraction was there. Had been there since the first time we had met. But he was a player, just like I suspected, and the fact that he couldn't keep his eyes off Trish, even after she and Henry had been together again, was really starting to bug me. And of course Trish had some friends over, which broadened his horizons and put me in a foul mood. He couldn't make up his mind and I wasn't the type of girl that shares.
My cell phone had died somewhere in that first week and so Jimmy had trouble finding me. The call came when we were all in the pool. The maid came out, holding the telephone, but I didn't really pay any attention to her. Danny was trying to get me so he could dunk me, but I was faster than him. Sully was giving us the death glare while Abby looked disapprovingly to me. She had warned me of Danny's interest, but I was so mad at Sully that I shut her out. Even though, I knew what I was doing was wrong.
Then the maid called my name and everyone fell silent. I was just stunned. Who could possibly call me at Trish's house phone? I felt a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and all but run to her.
"This is Jamie Mance. Who's this?"
"Jay…" That was Jimmy's voice. Something was wrong. I could hear it in his voice.
"What's wrong Jimmy? Are you hurt? Is Shane hurt?" When he accepted none of those hypotheses I felt a lump in my throat. Dad… "What's wrong with dad?"
"He died." The phone slipped from my hands.
I didn't hear Abby's concerned tone; I didn't respond to Henry's queries; I didn't saw Sully flying to my side, beating Danny to it; I didn't hear Jimmy's worried cries on the other side of the line. I just kept repeating my brother's words in my head in an endless loop.
He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died. He died.
I felt the tears in my face seconds before I lost my balance. I fell onto a broad chest and just cried. I was full blown sobbing when I felt arms slip around my shaking form and carry me inside.
"He died" I whisper to Sully who had me in a towel as soon as he dropped me in the living's room couch.
"Dad died." He holds me to him and allows me to cry all over his shirt, making shushing sounds and whispering nothings in my ears. I fell asleep on him.
When I woke up, Abby was with me. She told me how Trish had offered her family chopper to take me to Harper's Island. That Henry had spoken to Jimmy who had informed him about the burial date. I nodded and then drift off to sleep land, again.
When the next morning arrived I was numb. I had cried last night so much I didn't know if I still had tears left. But as I saw my friends and heard there sympathies I felt my eyes fill up with water again. It wasn't surprised that Abby wasn't coming. I knew she had seen enough funerals in the island; she didn't need to see another. The big surprise came when Henry, Trish, Danny and Sully all boarded the helicopter with me.
"Thank you." That was the only thing I could say. Sully came to my side and held me for the entire trip home. Kissing my temple every once in a while.
As soon as we landed I ran to my brother. We just stood there, hugging, for the longest time. He looked older, much older than his 22 years. His grey orbs were sunken in; he had bags under his eyes and was pale. I felt like crying all over again. I should have been here for him. Instead I was miles away playing with the rich kids. I wanted to kick myself.
"It's not your fault. You couldn't have done anything. The cancer was far too spread. He…He didn't even told me. He just… accepted his sickness." Jimmy said, as if he could hear my thoughts.
"I should've been here for you, for both of you."
He pressed his lips to my forehead, "Take my word for it Jay. It wasn't your fault."
"Yeah Shorty, it's not your fault your old man was stubborn."
I turned around and saw Shane Pierce standing near us. I ran to him and hugged him just as much as I had my brother. After a few minutes I heard someone clear his throat. I turned and saw Sully, a strange look on his face.
I introduced everyone and returned to my brother's side. From the moment they met, Sully and Shane didn't get along. They even fought once, just before the funeral, Danny and Henry separated them but they kept glaring at each other.
The funeral was simple and quiet. The people from town, my friends and my brother and that were it. When it ended I looked at my brother.
"You were right, Jimmy. What we had wasn't much but it was better than nothing. We don't have anyone left."
"Wrong sis, we still have each other. I promise you'll never lose me."
As I cried harder, I said, "You can't promise that! Dad said the same thing after mom's funeral and look at him now." I ran then. I didn't want to be around anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.
I was jolted aware as the driver finally found an opening and sped up in the direction of the pier. He parked just beside another cab and I smiled as I saw my friend inside. She had a faraway look on her face, while holding the wedding invitation. I paid him, got my bags out, and walked toward her taxi.
"So, are we having second thoughts? We could always go back home and stuff our face with Rocky Mountain ice cream." I said, offering, hoping she would accept.
Abby gave me her thousand watts smile and payed the cabbie, getting out of the car and retrieving her bags from the trunk. "Nope, we're going. I can't to that to Henry. Besides I have to go back and face my fears, don't I? Isn't that what you're always preaching?"
I cursed myself and just accompanied my best friend down the pier to the ferry that was very merrily decorated. A mariachi band was playing and then we saw Henry leaning in the railing, smiling down at us.
He hugged both of us and then turned his attention to Abby.
"I thought you might never get out of that cab!" I smirked at her from over his shoulder.
"Huh, I…I needed a moment."
Showing a great understanding of Abby, he said knowingly, "Second thoughts?"
"I told her the same thing." As she glared at me, she forgot to answer Henry's question which gave time to Trish make an appearance.
"I told him you'd come." Her smile was beautiful. She then looked at me. "Hi Jamie." I was happy she gave me even that. We we're not the best of friends.
As she and Abby hugged I followed them all inside, trying no to look too nervous. This would be the first time I would seem him after that night…
It was pouring out. I wrapped the jacket tighter around me, although my shaking had little to do with the cold and everything to do with the boy that I had left in that apartment, holding my broken heart in his hands.
I could remember vividly every moment of our relationship. The first time we locked eyes outside his fraternity; the first kiss we shared; our first fight… I recalled the happiness of seeing him came to me, after months without seeing each other, hug me, and spin me in the air, while I giggled like a school girl. The way his strong arms felt around me, the taste of his kisses and the feel of his touches. His smile…
And then flashes of everytime I had been mad at him flooded my mind much like the rain was doing to my body. There was always another girl, always someone in between us. He had hurt me before, but not like this. Never like this.
I was so distracted that I didn't hear him call my name. Only when a hand closed around my arm and pulled me against a drenched body did I look up into those blue eyes of his and saw something akin to guilt in them.
But I was angry. More than that, I was furious so I punched him, hard, just like Shane had taught me all those years ago. Sully opened his mouth to say something but I advanced on him until I was practically on top of him.
"Don't. Save it. I don't want to hear it. I don't want your excuses. What you did… you hurt me Sully, more than I've ever been hurt. I never want to see you again. I'm done with you. I don't want to see you ever again."
With that I left, the tears mixing with the rain, and I never looked back.
I was brought back to earth when Danny hugged me. I smiled and hugged him back. It felt good to be with him again. Booth and Malcolm hugged me as well. And then I was face to face with Sully.
Author's note: I hope you enjoyed it.