"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
Acceptance
She sits quietly in the dark. The stone cell is cool refuge from the hot and humid summer weather outside. The girl sits, her head leaning against the wall. Her hair disheveled. It was such a shame. She always had such beautiful hair.
Cold.
I can't feel my fingers. Zuzu certainly wasn't taking any chances. Not that I blame him.
But I do blame you.
Yes. You...
Why are you even here? Come to make sure the monster is safely tucked away in its cage? Well I'm certainly not going anywhere any time soon.
They don't respect me any more. I'm no fire lord... I'm no princess... and I'm not Azula...
They took her away... yes... they took her away. They took her away and left me. Oh but don't worry, she's still safe... ha ha ha ha... she's fine... so don't worry. Ha ha ha ha ha!
I took her away! And then I took her place!
What is wrong with that child, you say?
I'm no child.
I'm no princess.
I'm a monster.
And you always knew it.
You knew it!
That's why you never cared!
You were afraid of me!
But that was fine...
That was perfectly fine with me.
I didn't care. In fact, I thrived on your fear.
I learned about my power. My power to control people through their fear. I learned how to dig into a person's soul. I learned how to find the things they wanted to keep hidden away. I learned how to make them wake up screaming from their dreamland to face their nightmares. I learned how to make them do anything I wanted. Not in the stupid way that Zuzu would, brandishing his power as the Fire Lord's son. Oh no...
No... no... no...
I had other ways of making people fear me. So many different ways...
I tested them... perfected them... and they worked. Oh did they work.
You knew. You saw it. I know you saw it. I know you saw it.
I know you saw that I was a horrible little monster.
But what did you do?
You rejected me! You left to fester and die in the all the things I had done. You left me! You never even said good bye! You hated me!
Hated me! Hated me and hated everything I Was! Everything I hAd done! Everything I had become! Hate! HaTe! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate hA hA ha aHa ha Ha hated! hA hate hated hate hate hated me hated everything I would be! hated hate STill hate hate hate HAte ha ah Aha ha haTed me hAted haTe hate! Hated everything I was! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate Ha ha Ha aha forever ha Ha hated! Ha haTe haTed hate HatE hatEd me hated hate still hate hate hate hate ha ah aha HA hated ME hated haTE hAte! hATed me! HAted me! HAted everything I am! Everything I did! Hated! Hate! Hate hate ha ha Ha hate! HATEd me! Hated Everything I had become!hate STill hate hate hate Hated everything I did. HAte ha ah forever Aha ha haTed me hAted haTe hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! hate hate ha ah aha HA Hated everything I will do. hated ME hated haTE hAted everything I am doing! hATed me! HAted me! HAted everything I am!haTed hate HatE hatEd me hated hate still hate hate hate hate ha ah aha HA hated ME hated haTE hAte! hATed me! ForEveR HAted me! HAted everything I am! Everything I did! Hated! Hate! Hate hate ha ha Ha hate! hate still hate hate hate hate ha ah aha HA hated ME hated haTE hAte! hATed me! HAted me! HAted everything I am! Everything I did! Hated! Hate! Hate hate ha ha Ha hate! HATEd me! Hated Everything I had become!hate STill hate hate hate Hated everything I did. HAte ha ah forever Aha ha haTed me hAted haTed everything I Was! Everything I hAd done! Everything I had become! Hate! HaTe! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate hA hA ha aHa ha Ha hated! hA hate hated hate hate hated me hated everything I would be! hated hate STill hate hate hate HAte ha ah Aha ha haTed me hAted haTe hate! Hated everything I was! Hate!Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! hate hate ha ah aha HA Hated everything I will do. hated ME hated haTE hAted haTe hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! hate hate ha ah aha HA Hated everything I will do. hated ME hated haTE hAted everything I am doing! hATed me! HAted me! HAted everything I am!haTed hate HatE hatEd me hated hate still hate hate hate hate ha ah aha HA hated ME hated haTE hAte! hATed me! ForEveR HAted me! HAted everything I am! Everything I did! Hated! Hate! Hate hate ha ha Ha hate! hate still hate hate hate hate ha ah aha HA hated ME hated haTE hAte! hATed me! HAted me! HAted everything I am! Everything I did! Hated! Hate! Hate hate ha ha Ha hate! HATEd me! Hated Everything I had become!hate STill hate hate hate Hated everything I did. HAte ha ah forever Aha ha haTed me hAted haTed everything I Was! haTE hAted everything I am doing! hATed me! HAted me! HAted everything I am!haTed hate HatE hatEd me hated hate still hate hate hate hate ha ah aha HA hated ME hated haTE hAte! hATed me! ForEveR HAted me! HAted everything I am! Everything I did! Hated! Hate! Hate hate ha ha Ha hate! hate still hate hate! Hated! Hate! Hate hate ha ha Ha hate! HATEd me! Hated Everything I had become!hate STill hate hate hate Hated everything I did. HAte ha ah forever Aha ha haTed me hAted haTed everything I Was! Everything I hAd done! Everything I had become! Hate! HaTe! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate hA hA ha aHa ha Ha hated! hA hate hated hate hate hated me hated everything I would be! hated hate STill hate hate hate HAte ha ah Aha ha haTed me hAted haTe hate! Hated everything I was! Hate!Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! hate hate ha ah aha HA Hated everything I will do. hated ME hated haTE hAted haTe hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! hate hate ha ah aha HA Hated everything I will do. hated ME hated haTE hAted everything I am doing! hATed me! HAted me! HAted everything I am!haTed hate HatE hatEd me hated hate still hate hate hate hate ha ah aha HA hated ME hated haTE hAte! hATed me! ForEveR HAted me! HAted everything I am! Everything I did! Hated! Hate! Hate hate ha ha Ha hate! hate still hate hate hate hate ha ah aha HA hated ME hated haTE hAte! hATed me! Hated me.
You hated me.
You hated me!
Hated me!
You...
… You still hate me.
No... no that's not right.
You don't hate me. You keep saying that. "I don't hate you Azula. I love you."
You keep saying that.
But you're lying.
I know you're lying.
You may not hate me. But you don't love me. You never have. You never will. You're not real. You're not really here. And I know it. I know you're not here.
But then you never were.
You were never here.
You were always somewhere else.
You didn't hate me...
You feared me.
And you still do...
I can see it in your eyes.
That look that I've seen in everyone. That shiver in the eye. The darkness that creeps over their shoulder. The contraction of their voice. The cold sweat that drips from every word that slips through their frozen lips.
I know it all too well.
You've never loved me.
You've never hated me.
But you have always feared me...
And you know what?
I think I prefer it that way... Mother.
Azula never really did find the forgiveness she was looking for.
But she has finally accepted it.