Prologue
And so I thought to myself, "How did I end up in this situation?"
And as if she read my thoughts, the girl next to me responded,
"Do not blame yourself for your death for it is merely how fate commanded it."
The next thing I knew, I had been impaled in the chest by her katana. The edges of my vision were darkening and the last thing that I assume I saw were tears streaming down the girl's face. Is this how a murderer usually acts toward their victims? Oh well, since I'm as good as dead, I might as well explain how I got here.
Chapter 1
To start it off, my name is Akise Kohira. I'm sixteen and a second-year in high school. I'm pretty average in the looks department and I'm not that interested in competitive sports though I don't mind participating in them when they're recreational. The one thing that I do have going for me is that compared to most high school students, I am of a superior intellect. Not that I flaunt that fact around. If I did show this fact to people, I'd be discriminated against for being different and openly at that. Therefore, I sabotage my own grades just to remain among the common people. Doing so allows me to obtain friends. Not that I have many. I really only have one. Her name is Saya Mikado, a blond-haired bishoujo with heterochromia. That means two different congenital eye colors. Her eyes are blue and red. They're truly beautiful like her, not that I'd ever tell her. Truth is, I've liked her for as long I can remember, but I've never been able to tell her how I felt or if she even feels the same way. I'm too scared of rejection and if our friendship were to break apart, I'd be alone. I know it's selfish to hold her as my last tie to the world but it is true.
My parents both died of illness when I was born so I had been placed in an orphanage and that's where I met Saya. Even then, she was radiant and cheerful. I, however, wasn't and I shut off any attempts for people to get to know me. This led to the estrangement of my peers and I. Only a couple of attempts had been made to get close to me in the first place. All that matters is that I didn't let anybody in until Saya. I didn't let her in at first, but she didn't give up even after I denounced her and accused her of ulterior motives. I mean, come on, why would someone as beautiful as her want to know somebody like me? Even though I did such things to her, she told me her story and she cried while doing so. It was then that I decided to let her get to know me. I told her the story of my birth and how it was as if my parents had been poisoned. The police would've accused me if I hadn't been a newborn. My parents hadn't had any contact with anybody besides myself, of course, for a couple of weeks. My mother had given birth to me while she was asleep and she never woke up again. My father followed suit shortly after which left me alone. People wondered how I had managed to survive the few days before they had found me. When I finished my story, Saya betrayed my expectations and embraced me. That was the first time I ever really cried in front of someone else. At the time, I was five and Saya had just turned six. Despite our obvious age difference, we had been in the same grade up until sixth grade. I didn't fail or anything, but instead was deemed a problem child. Saya was upset because she wanted to remain with me. She resolved herself to intentionally fail next year to be with me, but I coaxed her out of the idea. I didn't want her to sabotage her school life for me. She embraced me and called me an idiot. It was at this time that I realized that I liked her. People had told me that she was a tsundere, but I shrugged it off. I resolved myself to watch over her even though I'm her kouhai. Our relationship didn't really change much until recently. She had been cold and distant towards me and when I inquired about it, she slapped me and told me that she never liked me. All I could do was stand there awestruck by her words.
She then left the room with tears on her face. I tried to chase after her, but I collapsed when I ran down the stairs. When I came to, she was there asleep and by my side. When she woke up, she apologized to me and said that she had no reason for such things. I merely nodded at her to show that I understood. This was merely the outside, but inside I was seething with hatred and hurt because she betrayed me. She promised to never hurt me. I told myself that this was the nature of humans and so I distanced myself from her and everybody else. However, today, she came up to me and slapped me again. She told me that I was an idiot for doing what she did to me. I merely walked away, but I was embraced by her. I tried to get out of it, but she then did something unexpected. She grabbed me and interlaced her lips with mine. I stood there dumbfounded by the moment and didn't notice when she changed. It was then that she had a sword drawn and reassured me that it wasn't my fault. She impaled me with her blade and kissed me as I bled out. She let her tears loose and said that this was best for the both of us. I blacked out shortly afterward. This is where we pick up at.
Instead of dying, I woke up and looked around confused and scared. I called out for somebody but no answer returned. I noticed I was in a old style Japanese dojo. I got up and looked around for people, but didn't find anybody. I then checked my chest for the wound inflicted upon by Saya. There was only a red scar in it's place. I wondered how long I was out. Wounds like this don't heal in a couple of days and in fact, most people should die from this kind of injury. I began to think about Saya and why she did such a thing. She went as far as to say that it was fate's fault. I wonder why any relationship I make is cut abruptly. My parents died at my birth and Saya attempted to take my life, hell, maybe she did. I just can't find myself to hate her even after all she did. I'd like to know why though. I'll find her and ask her myself. I got up again and stepped outside for some air. It was then that I saw a girl dressed like a shrine maiden. She really was quite a sight. She had light-brown hair tied into a pony-tail. She had warm brown eyes, but a serious expression. She noticed me and started to walk over to me. I panicked and ran inside to the main room.
By the time I returned to my bed, she was already waiting there for me. I was completely shocked and I collapsed from fatigue. When I came to again, she was waiting there. She spoke and introduced herself as Mina Asami. She said that she is the sole caretaker of the establishment. She told me how she found me on the side of the road in a massive puddle of blood. I asked her how I survived. She said I didn't, and my world crumbled. I asked how I was here, but she claimed she didn't know. I broke into tears at her response. She embraced me and tried to console me. I accepted her help and cried in her arms. A half-hour passed with us like that. When I finally regained my composure, I thanked her for being there. I got up, said bye, and tried to leave, but she stopped me. She told me I couldn't leave with the severity of my wounds. I responded by saying that they were healed. She demanded proof, and so I revealed my chest. She grew a blush as I did so, but she regained her composure. She told me that even though the wound may be healed on the outside, it may not be on the inside. Even so, I tried to leave, but my body was crippled by a lightning-like surge that ran through me. She ran over to me, and brought me back in. She told me that the reason I'm still here is because she bounded my soul to the shrine. By this point, nothing mattered anymore. I was dead and the one who killed me was Saya. She struck me down and had the gall to blame it on fate. 'Why, Saya? Why did you kill me?! Didn't you say we'd be together forever?!' I was hysterical, but only on the inside. On the outside, I was laying down steel-faced while Mina tended to my closed wound.
She sat there with her eyes on other things. I wondered how she could be living here on her own. She opened her mouth and asked what school year I was. I could tell she just wanted to break the silence. I played her game, and responded that I was a second year. She then asked about my attacker. My heart would've skipped a beat, had I been alive. I didn't expect her to immediately be so inquisitive about the incident. I just sat there in the best poker face I could muster. She could tell by my earlier reaction that she was pushing too hard into my affairs. However, she kept pushing and finally I gave in. I told her that it was my friend Saya. I didn't explain just how interlaced we were. She, I think, understood just how close we were based on my reluctance to give her up. Mina stopped pressing the issue and left the room. As she did so, she said night and turned off the light. I sat there for over an hour trying to sort my thoughts. I didn't even notice when I fell asleep, but I woke up with my face bathed in sunlight. I must've walked outside onto the dojo rails in my confused stupor. I noticed that there was a blanket drawn and placed over me. It was obvious that Mina was the one who put it there. I rolled over to find her next to me asleep. At this point, I jumped out of bed for fear of a misunderstanding.
She lazily opened her eyes and rubbed them. When she saw where she was, she moved away.
"Hentai!", she exclaimed.
She slapped me across my face, and boy did it hurt. I profusely apologized even though it wasn't my fault. Believe me, having been with Saya all these years, I've learned a couple of things about girls. Such examples include that they're natural tsunderes. They harshly deny anything wrong or inappropriate that they did and place blame on any boy, especially those that they are infatuated with. If you want to get out in one piece, you take the blame and roll with whatever punishment you happen to receive. She continued to deny my apologies by showing an increasing amount of violence. By the time I was bloodied and mangled, she accepted my apology. Only then did she notice the severity of the wounds she inflicted upon me. She apologized and began to treat them. The stereotype of a miko being a shy and tender person was false. Well, maybe it's just not true for Mina. Although, she did proceed to treat the wounds she inflicted. She actually is pretty nice and she's beautiful at that. The way her uniform constricts her rather large breasts only draws more attention to them. I'd never tell her though. I have no need for any extra misunderstandings. As I was saying previously, she is rather beautiful. The way her almond-colored hair flows in the wind draws attention to her hazelnut-colored eyes. It's quite the alluring sight. It just makes me wonder as to why she would raise my spirit from the dead. I'm so average that it's painful to be with her even right now. Things feel so out-of-place because of this. Of course, it was the exact same when I was with Saya. I asked Mina as to why she would attempt someone such as myself. I went into excruciating detail about the differences between us, and she slapped me with her full strength. I could feel exactly where the mark was. I stared dumbfounded as she told me that I should never look down on myself. She then began to sob while she explained. She said that every kind soul was worth saving. I replied by telling her that I don't have the kind soul she thinks I have. I stood up and moved away from her. I proceeded to lay down facing away from her. Tears began streaming down my face while I thought of what I did to Saya. There should've been no redemption for me, and in retrospect, I'm glad that it was Saya who took my life. Mina noticed my abnormal breathing and walked over. She noticed my tears and put her arm on my back. To be honest, I was glad she was here. I wanted some company, even though I deserve no such luxuries. Even so, I relished in the thought that she was here. By the time I calmed down, she had embraced me and fallen asleep. 'Sigh, another misunderstanding later? Oh well, I appreciate the current effort'. I relaxed and fell asleep in her arms. When I woke up, I found her staring at me. Rather than an angry expression, she showed one of compassion and sympathy. I couldn't help but let out a wry smile. She unwrapped her arms from around me and stood up while pressing down down her skirt. She spoke with a slight accent that I hadn't noticed before.
"D- Don't g- get ahead of yourself! That was merely a favor that used up all your luck. A- Anyways, I understand that your panic is a perfectly human physiological reaction!"
She said this with a growing blush on her face. 'Ah she truly fits the tsundere archetype to a tee.' Figuring I shouldn't stay silent too long, I spoke up.
"Ahh yes, truly I thank you for attending to me last night. However, there shouldn't be another reason for an outburst like that. Even so, thank you from the bottom of my heart."
I guess she was pondering how to take my gratitude, because she started turning red and fidgeting. She finally spoke,
"Oh I o- o- only did what was expected of me, you know!"
I decided to reply with an ambiguous response.
"Hai Hai."
After I said this, I then walked off towards the bathroom. It seems that even as a spirit tied to this shrine, I still had to follow basic human priorities. 'Eh I suppose a shower wouldn't hurt either.' Well, it makes sense seeing as how I'm a tangible and corporeal being. I can only wonder how Saya's doing at the moment. I found it awfully odd about the whole situation. I finally reached the bathroom without realizing it and had been standing there. Finding myself to be no good lost in thought, I shook my head to clear it. No point in worrying about this right now. There's plenty of time later seeing as how I'm a bound spirit.
I, Akise, am now placed into quite the awkward situation. I thought she was the sole caretaker of this place! I'm surrounded on all sides of a table by children who couldn't be any older than ten. I put up a smile to try and break the ice, but I could tell the kids weren't having any of it.
"Oi, who are you to Onee-sama?"
One of the younger males happened to ask me. I was startled by the sudden question and spoke with trepidation.
"Ahh I'm Akise Kohira, and due to certain circumstances, I am now living here."
Trying not to say too much, I only told them basic information. However, I could tell this was the wrong choice. All of the male children glared at me like I was a cockroach on the floor ready for extermination. I shrieked and dodged the plate thrown at the last second.
"Okay, Okay! Like I said, I'm Akise and I'm living here! Not by choice though, I swear!"
Having felt like I lost something as a man, I sighed heavily. The males were keeping up with glares, although they're considerably less intense than before. A couple of the kids that were girls happened to be looking at me with fascination. One of them came up to me and asked,
"Hey Onii-chan, how old are you? How do you know Onee-chan? Are you her boyfriend?"
Not quite sure how to respond, I gave it my best effort.
"Ah I'm sixteen. I know your Onee-chan due to her saving my life, and no, I'm not her boyfriend."
Hopefully, that was satisfactory. The girl then looked to the other girls and they nodded their heads as though they were communicating. I wonder what they're saying. Finally, the little girl with brown pigtails asked,
" U- Ummmm then would you like to be mine?"
"...", was all I could respond. 'What the hell?! This girl can't be any older than eight or nine, yet she had the gall to ask me OUT?!' Okay, so I nodded calmly and responded,
"Sorry, but I think you should wait until you're older and find somebody closer to your age, hmm?"
D- did I do that well? The girl blinked twice and opened her mouth.
"I, I see, you only like girls closer to your age. T- T- Thank you for being honest with me."
I could tell she was stifling her tears, but if I tried to console her, then it would just become more complicated. 'Haaa... Still, to think that I'd be asked out, and by a little girl nonetheless. Thankfully, I'm not a lolicon, or that situation would've been bad.' After the girl was over it, she walked back over. She had a steeled countenance and said,
"Well it's alright. I'll get Onii-chan to accept my feelings one day. Anyways, you said something about Onee-chan saving your life?"
"O-Oh yeah, that's right. You see, I ended up in some sort of accident and Mina-Onee-chan happened to come across me and she saved my life."
Hoping this is a sufficient response to quell the situation, I look across to Mina so as to verify. However, she had a cold glare in her eyes. 'What did I do?!', I thought. I lean over and ask Mina what's wrong.
"Hey what's the matter? I thought I did a nice job there."
All I get in response is another cold glare as well as a punch to the back of the head. 'Owww!' She responded,
"You idiot, I'm not your Onee-chan nor have I given you permission to use my given name so casually!"
Bowing my head, I apologized profusely and hoped to be forgiven. Apparently this took her by surprise, because she started fidgeting and stuttering.
"A- Ah, t- there's no need to go so far. It's okay as long as you know."
Then one of the boys seemingly infatuated with Mina spoke up.
"Hey, Onii-chan! You don't seem to be after Mina-Onee-chan, so I think we could be friends."
His response stumped me for a bit, but after pondering it for a bit, I replied cautiously.
"Ah, then please take care of me. Excuse me for a bit."
Exhausted from the entire ordeal, I decided to step out for a bit. I casually got up and walked over to the door for the main lobby of the shrine. A couple of the kids raised their glances at me, but I ignored them as I walked forward. When I was about to open the door, Mina called out to me.
"Kohira-san, might there be something wrong?"
"Oh sorry, I'm not feeling so well, so I thought I'd step out and get a little fresh air. I can do so, right?"
I replied in a rather formal tone as I asked permission to leave. I wondered how she would take it and looked back to see her fidget in a confused manner. After a couple of seconds, she replied in a disappointed tone.
"O- Oh, I see. Go ahead then, Kohira-san."
Without wasting time, I stepped out of the room with everybody's attention on me. After I was out of earshot, I sighed and regretted my actions. 'There was no need to be so rude. I was just angry at myself, because of the situation that I'm in. However, she took the brunt of it. I definitely need to apologize to her later.' I laid down on the rail on the outside of the shrine, because of the fact that I am bound here. I stared up at the stars and wondered what Saya was doing at the moment. 'Could she be looking at the stars too?' Releasing another sigh, I closed my eyes. I fell asleep shortly after. I laid there for around fifteen minutes before I felt a presence near me. I reacted hastily and instinctively moved away from the spot only to find out it was the same little girl who was asking me questions earlier. By the looks of the expression on her face, I must have surprised her. Not knowing what else to do, I decided to apologize.
"Ahh, I'm sorry. I felt somebody near, so I instinctively reacted and rolled away. I hope I didn't scare you too bad."
I told her my honest feelings and hoped she wouldn't think bad of me. She had a nervous expression on her face as she rolled up a bit closer to me. She hesitated a bit, but then she decided to speak up.
"I'm sorry. I was only worried about where you had went off to. And then when I came across you, you had tears on your face. Not knowing what to do, I sat there for a little while before deciding to put your head in my lap. I- I'm sorry for my insolence, Akise-Onii-chan. Ahh, I'm sorry, but may I call you that? My name is Rena Masato."
'Huh? I had tears on my face while I was asleep? I can only guess what I was dreaming.' I decided that I better rectify the situation.
"Oh sure, you can call me Akise-Onii-chan. I've no problem with it. Nice to meet you, Rena. Sorry about that, I didn't mean to force you to take care of me. Thank you for doing so. I must have had a bad dream."
"Huh?! No, you didn't force me! It just seemed right to do. While we're at it, might I call you Aki-Onii-chan? It's easier and I like the sound of it. What were you dreaming about anyways?"
She seemed to be colored a bright red as she replied to me. I thought about what to say about the dream. 'Can't say I didn't see this coming. She's such a kind girl. She's cute too. Oops, I better stay off that path.' I chose my words carefully as I attempted to respond.
"I have nothing against you calling me Aki. Anyways, about that dream, I was once friends with this one girl. Her name was Saya. She actually used to be my best friend. However, she betrayed me, which somewhat led to this situation. Though even now, I still don't think that I hate her. I wonder why? Maybe I just don't want all the time that I had with her to go to waste. Anyways, thanks for listening to my worries."
I wonder why it's so easy to tell my problems to this girl who's younger than me. Normally, it would be the younger one telling their worries to the older person, but I'm so glad that she did. I didn't realize until just now, but I had tears streaming down my face. I removed my glasses and tried to wipe them away quickly. Rena stared at me with an expression that seemed to be full of conflict. After a little bit, she asked me,
"Did you love her?"
The question took me by surprise, but I decided to answer truthfully.
"I did. I don't know if I do anymore, but, like I said before, I don't hate her."
"I see. However, could I take her place as your best friend?"
I could tell that it took immense courage for her to say that, given how she had these sort of expectant eyes, but I couldn't lie to her and tell her that she could. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and slowly began to speak.
"I'm sorry, but you cannot. At least, not now. I can't just replace her. Even though she betrayed me, I-"
It was then that the young girl named Rena embraced me. I had tears streaming down my face profusely. I accepted her assistance. Unbeknownst to me at the time, Mina had been watching the entire situation, and was unable to step into the situation. The expression on her face showed regret amongst a whole plethora of emotions. She obviously knew that she had listened in on something she shouldn't have. She tried to step back and leave, but she staggered on her last step. I undoubtedly heard it and called out.
"Who's there? Show yourself!"
"U- Umm, sorry, Akise-kun. I grew worried after noticing that you were gone for a while. I truly didn't mean to hear what you were talking about," exclaimed Mina after she had no choice but to reveal herself.
"No, it's quite alright. I suppose you would've heard after some time, but I guess better sooner than later." I responded to Mina's statement.
"It's true that my murderer was my childhood friend, Saya Mikado. She killed me by impaling my chest with a demonic katana. The only thing is, though, that I could tell it wasn't her; it just didn't feel like her. I've been replaying the scene over and over through my head, but I just can't find any concrete evidence. I wonder if I'm just placing my feelings into my judgement," said myself with a displeased countenance.
"However, if that were true, I think you would be hurting much, much worse than you already are. You feel a guilt in yourself for thinking that she murdered you of her own accord, am I right? Well, I think you cast aside all your doubts and pick what your heart desires," preached Mina with a kindly smile. 'Huh, she's sharper than she lets on. Well, I imagine that she's saying what she truly means. This girl is too nice to be frank in her words. Although, she knows how to give a rousing lecture.' I thought to myself on how to thank her for her care and guidance. I decided to apologize for the trouble I've caused as well as thank her.
"Mina, truly, I'm sorry for all the I'm causing you-", I tried to apologize, but she just just shook her head. "No, Akise, it's fine. I'm glad I saved you. Your soul was on the verge of collapse. Not to mention, had I left you, you would have most likely become a vengeful spirit. You know of them, right?", Mina asked me.
"I do. If anything, you could say I know of more than just their existence. I'm acquainted with one, or I was, before it was disposed of when I was a child."
"Ehhh!? You knew one?! How are you still alive?!"
"Well, the thing is, it was actually a friendly, vengeful spirit, or at least towards me. At the time, I was living alone wandering the alleyways at night. I came into contact with a drug-crazed man who tried to assault me, but he was torn apart in front of my very eyes. Needless to say, it caused some mental trauma unneeded by a ten-year-old child. After I got over the shock, I looked around for whatever had caused it. That was when I noticed it. The spirit that killed the man stared right at me. It looked as though it might attack, but when our eyes met, it laughed. It told me 'Those are some good eyes, kid. I want to see how you turn out.' After that, it left, but not without saying something under its breath. I don't know how, but I heard what it said. It actually felt like a link of telepathy. It said, 'Owner of the Infinity Drive'. After that, it left by fading into the shadows."
It was at this time that Rena, who had been silent up until now, spoke up. "Infinity Drive? What is that?", she said. The truth was that I, myself, didn't know either. However, I felt that should at least respond to her question.
We all sat there wondering what it could mean. Several hours passed and it was time for all the kids to leave. This, of course, included Rena. She told us goodbye before she left.
"It's been fun, Aki-onii-chan, Mina-onee-chan. You'll be here tomorrow, right? Oh, that's right. I forgot that you kind of have no choice. In that case, I'll see you tomorrow. Take care, okay?"
"It has, and I'll definitely be here tomorrow like you said. I will and I shall say the same to you. Take care, Rena."
She waved and left out the gate with her parents. After everybody was gone, Mina and I cleaned up around the shrine. It was near dusk now. She sat down on the couch in the main room. I'm actually surprised that she owned something like a couch. What's more surprising is that she owned a television. I was curios about her, so I asked a question.
"Hey, Mina. Are you the only one who lives here? I mean, there's a lot of stuff here, and it's a big place, so I was just wondering."
She replied with a rather lonely face and tone.
"No. They actually ran off while entrusting the estate to me. Leaving a six-year-old to take care of herself and a huge place. It's pitiful, isn't it?"
She looked as if tears were about fall from her eyes, but she maintained her composure. For some strange reason, I felt compelled to console her, but I don't think I've earned the right to do that. Plus, it would make me look like a condescending jerk who only looks down on people through pity. Of course, I haven't had easy times in my life either, but everybody perceives them differently, thus eliminating the held concept of there being a "worse problem than another's".
Mina calmed herself after a bit and showed another smile. She's so beautiful. I can tell though. That smile of hers is false. If only I could do something about that. She opened her mouth to speak.
"Akise-san, is there something wrong? You haven't spoken in a while."
Wow, she's spot-on in her observations. However, I can't just tell her that I want to help her. I searched my head for something to say. After some consideration, I decided to ask her outright.
"Mina, you said you've been staying here alone since you were six, right? Well, how have you managed by yourself? I can't imagine you taking care of this place on your own... I'm sorry if I'm being too impersonal."
She had a look of astonishment on her face. I could tell it was painful for her to call up the thoughts as she had grimaced. She remained quiet for several moments before responding.
"I- it's okay, Akise-san. It's only natural that one would be curious about my living circumstances. When I was left here, I did a lot of crying. After a while, I tried to find ways to pay the rent for the shrine. I paid many visits to debt collectors, but they ridiculed me for my age. They asked me how I expected to pay them back. I couldn't respond to their questions. However, this one man said he'd trust me as long as I promised him something when I was older. At the time I didn't have any doubts about his intentions, so I hastily accepted. It wasn't until I was older that I realized. He had expected me to pay with my body. Just recently was the favor called in. He had me paired with so many men. T- they touched me all over, but they didn't do anything more. However, I can't imagine the next time. I'm sorry... Akise-san."
By this point, Mina was in tears. She painfully recounted her story because of my insensitive questions. I felt I had to take responsibility. I silently embraced her and held tightly. She started shivering and releasing loud sobs. Rights be damned. I couldn't let her shoulder this all alone.