Hello, again, everybody! It's me, Mario! Except it's not! Ha...I don't know why I decided to start of with a wave to an unfeeling murderer, but I did. So...please don't sue me. I'm not Mario, and do not own anything but my plots and certain OC characters in my stories, so don't take them! So far the only character you guys know is Ana, Allen's little sister, who seems to have an affinity towards dying. :|P I have no real idea as to why. Other than that, today marks the 13th anniversary for the 9/11 tragedy that happened 2001 in New York. Though there was four planes, with the two most famous ones being the passenger planes that were forcibly taken over and flown into the Twin Towers, the third, and least well-known, being the one that crashed into the Pentagon, as per the terrorists plans. The last, and famous second to the Twin Tower planes, is the passenger plane known as "The Plane That Fought Back", with the passengers of the plane fighting back the terrorists, killing them and taking back control of the plane, deciding that if they were going to die, then they weren't going to let the terrorists win by having bystanders hurt in the crash. They crash-landed the plane in an open field... They all perished, but no pedestrian was hurt. This is a horrifically sad event, that I wish I could effectively forget, but there are people out there who lost their whole families on those planes, and were only able to get a panicked and quick "I Love You" and "Good-Bye". It's kind of strange for me to have this in a story, especially one as random as this, but I wanted to have something written for those who lost their lives, and those who lost their loved ones, and i'm not sure if i'll be able to write a new chapter for any of my stories as I have a Psychology paper to write, but I definitely wanted to say at least this: Although humans are despicable, and I sometimes wish for their extinction so that no one will be hurt anymore, I always find a reason to have hope, and believe, that we, as a race derived from lies and broken promises, will on day redeem ourselves with the saints hidden within our society. May you all have a beautiful day, and know that it's not the end that we should fear, but the memory people will have of us when we are gone. :)
The reason why it started is lost to me now, but what I do remember is that the fight was somehow different than normal.
Though we still threw insult after insult at each other, it no longer had that hint of playfulness that meant we didn't mean the words we said. The venom was real, and it hurt more than I thought it would have coming from Kanda.
We were never on the best of terms considering how we met, but our first mission together showed me so much more than I thought was to the stoic man everyone feared.
And I think that's when I started to fall for him.
But as everyone said before, "There's no time for love in war." No matter how much I disagreed with them. It slowly dawned on me after each mission I came back on with another companion dead: that maybe they're right. Maybe there is no place for something as fragile as love in something as cold as war.
But the nights wasted telling myself this didn't diminish the feelings that budded every time I saw Kanda.
So strange to think that the same man I supposedly hated beyond anything, would be my very first crush...
Even with these confusing thoughts in my mind I yell at Kanda about how stupid he is, but I guess in a way he's smarter than me...
At least he's got his feelings of hate settled, while I'm fighting myself as I try and figure out what I'm really feeling.
I laugh inside at the pain that thought brought me. I really love him, huh?
Just another fucked up thing about me that I'll have to keep locked away inside along with all my other monsters...
I open my mouth to say something harsh to him about his beautiful hair, when he yells something at me that makes me freeze.
The people around us stop along with time; everything is silent as I see the sudden recognition on Kanda's face as to what exactly he had said. He didn't even mean to say something like that... Guess that means he was thinking about it and he just let it slip... I was wrong about Kanda.
I'm the stupid one.
Bitter tears prick my eyes as I shut my mouth immediately after I realized it hanging open similar to all the shocked gazes. He tries to say something else, but simply stutters. He's at a loss as to what to do next, but I'm not giving him the time to hurt me more. I scream something that is lost to me now, but his shocked and pained face will forever be burned into my nightmares.
I turn and walk away at first as I wipe my eyes trying to grasp at my slipping dignity, but I eventually give up and let the tears fall. When I get far enough away that I'm pretty sure the stunned crowd can't see me anymore...I run.
As fast as I can, I blindly run away from Kanda, and the strange fight we had. The same insults, the same threats, and the same witnesses...but for some reason it hurt so much more!
Why does loving him have to hurt so much?
When my tired feet finally give way, and I'm no longer able to keep up my fast pace as I'd reached my limit, I collapse to the floor. Slowly, I curl up into a ball, lean against the wall...and cry.
I cry as loudly as I can before my throat gives up. Screaming at the pain that's spreading throughout my body, I beg for someone to have mercy on me and simply end it. But it seems as though no one can hear me as I cry out and curse everything that has ever hurt me.
Eventually, I start to make less and less sense as my body goes numb from the sadness.
The day had been going so perfectly, yet for a reason I cannot remember, I ruined that content moment where we sat and ate and sometimes spoke.
I ruined another happy moment in my life that I will never get back...
I picked my heavy, unfeeling body off the floor as I looked up to see where I had ended up. Ironically enough I had found my own room in my blind madness.
Never before had my room looked so cold, lifeless, and as sad as I felt, but I was far too empty to care how the room seemed to reek of darkness. It was something I had to get used to all my life; I didn't expect the life of an exorcist to be any better.
And though my bed and the picture of the clown above it used to make me feel more whole as I could reminisce all my memories of Mana together with Allen*, this time was different, as the picture looked like any other piece of art, simply drawn from a sudden desire, with no meaning to its existence.
Even Mana felt lifeless in my precious memories, as if he was merely a puppet who's had his strings cut.
The darkness of my room, the heaviness of my body, and the dizziness from crying made it difficult to stay awake. Almost as if someone was trying to make me sleep.
Panic flared inside me as I felt the familiar pain of Nea's presence. I tried to get up, but my limbs refused to listen.
Then Mana's voice started to sing...the same melody that was found in Timcampy...
And I realized it was pointless to fight. The only reason why I ever fought Nea to begin with was because I didn't want him to hurt my friends... But Kanda won't let that happen. He has already promised me that he would kill me when Nea showed himself, and I'm sure he'll do it without any hesitation.
Mana's voice neared the end of the song as I let my eyelids fall closed, and I slip away from the pain and the sadness.
"You're just a host for a traitorous Noah!"
I really am stupid...
My whole author's note was above, so I don't really have anything to say now...poo...I guess I didn't really plan this out all too well... It would be normal for me to say please review and tell me what you think, I really appreciate it, but I don't think that's appropriate for the conversation. :) Thanks for reading, and never forget. :D
crazynicky101: You are, I just don't know what to say...Thank you! Oh my god, you have a way with words my friend, but I can assume that you aren't at all happy at the fact that i'm not adding new chapters, instead, i'm changing the ones you seemed to like. With that said, I would like to know if the re-written ones are up-to-par, or if I should be changing all my stories, simply the ones that suck. (Though that would include all my stories. :)P) It's really nice for you to say that I have a lot of creativity, though that's the real reason, beside my short attention span and my inability to focus on one thing for too long, that I can never finish a story before starting a whole new one. :) And although a lot of people don't really care about my stories, I don't care about that, I treasure those who stay with me even when I take forever, and disappear of the face of the map, and only ever write kind and supporting words. Thank you for reviewing, and everyone who has followed and favorited.
Tyki075: *Whimpering* Please don't hurt meh! I will definitely finish this story, as I don't believe in adoption of stories, though children and animals are a different matter! And I know I put it on a cliff hanger, because that's the best way to end a story. XD Though I didn't do it to make my readers cry! A I'm sorry! AHH! ...Yu, does indeed, have issues, but that's what makes me treasure you all. :) So don't start acting normal! You got it?! 'Oh my god, i'm threatening my readers...What has writers block and months away from Yullen done to me? I'm a monster! WAHHH!' - Don't know why i'm crying, and your name is very fitting. |^ v^)/
*Allen is the dog Mana that was, his partner in his circus act, and owned before he adopted an orphan known as Red; whom he named Allen after the dog was kill by Cosimo, a rival performer in their circus.