CHAPTER ONE:

'SO I MAY BECOME'

Change (def.):

Verb: To make or become different

Noun: An act or process in which something becomes different.

The walls loom up around me, high and dark, trapping me completely within the place. I swallow nervously, trying to push the panic down within me. I remind myself that I've been prepared for this. I knew what this would entail. But as my fingertips scrape against the cold panels, I realise that no amount of training could ever truly prepare me for what I had become.

I sit down, keeping a hand on the wall to remind me where I am. Taking a deep breath, I cross my legs neatly, and focus on something, anything other than the situation I've currently ended up in.

It can't be as bad as I think it is, even though I'm already sure I know what's happened.

She came to me, a few hours ago. I can't remember the time. I'm not even too sure what the date is anymore. She said that she'd be back, so I just have to wait it out until she returns for me. It can't be long. I refuse to think about what happens if she breaks that promise and doesn't return for me. I know that if I think about that, I'll lose the scraps of sanity left to me.

The change is a scary process, they all said. It will always surprise you, shock you, horrify you. You have no idea what might happen to you once you step into the mist. You may hate it. You may hate yourself. But whatever you feel, once you've entered the mist, there's no going back. You're stuck like it for life.

I educated myself on all these processes, I learnt all that had happened to those chosen before me. But even though I had prepared myself for anything: an extra head maybe, or an ability to kill all who touched me, I hadn't even entertained the possibility that I might lose the thing most precious to me.

My sight.

I concentrate on my breathing. In, out. In, out. I keep to the simple pattern, to keep myself calm as I stare into the darkness that is to become my world now. I know this room well, so I think I could navigate myself around. But I don't want to move. If I remain still, maybe it won't be true. Maybe I'll wake up from this nightmare.

I was one of the special ones. I was chosen for the change after years of being prepared, mentally and psychically. And then, when it was determined that I was ready, I went through with the change. Even now, as I stay in the dark, I don't regret following through with my destiny. Everything happens for a reason, right?

I want to explore my change. I want to discover what I can do. But after the last time, when she came, I'm scared. I couldn't stop moving all over the place, with this thrumming energy inside of me that demanded to be released. But when I allowed that energy to take over, I couldn't stop it. It took over and like a bouncy ball released in a small contained area, my body was forced to move unable to come to a stop until I hit into her. And when she hugged me, the energy calmed for a while. But I can still feel it within me, constantly moving, uncontainable. I imagine a cage, a locked silver box, and I try to shove the ball of energy away, at least long enough for me to stop feeling as restless as I am. But my attempt to calm myself fails, as the energy within me slips out of my grasp yet again. I let out a small growl of annoyance. It could be years until I learn to control this power. Years of being restless! I don't know if I can stand it.

I get to my feet, sitting down not helping me anymore. Slowly, keeping my hand touching the wall, I begin to pace, up and down, to try and calm the restless energy. I walk up and down, always touching the wall to orient me. The walking seems to help calm me, and for the briefest of seconds I relax.

And then it happens. My body, just as I'm about to take the next step, moves. One moment I'm standing next to the wall, the next the wall is nowhere to be found. I wave my arms around violently, keeping my fear trapped deep within. My fingers flail in the air, passing through it and finding nothing to hold onto. I'm alone, trapped and I have no idea where in this room I am anymore.

The urge to cry in desperation passes through me, but nothing happens. The fear, the anxiety I'm feeling starts to build up in my chest, until I can barely breathe through the blind panic. I clench my hands into tight fists, until my hands shake from the effort. I've never felt so… powerless before. My body is no longer controlled by me, but instead this power's whims. If it wants me to move, I will have no choice but to obey. My will is no longer my own. I am at the mercy of my change.

My chest heaves as I breathe rapidly. Although I can feel the floor under my feet, it feels like I'm adrift, with nothing to anchor me to the earth.

"Gordon." A soft voice speaks, appearing from nowhere. I turn my head, trying to locate the position of the noise's source. I hear footsteps, light and quick as the person pads over to me. My hand is seized quickly, gentle fingers pulling mine out of a fist. The hand holds mine in an attempt to comfort me.

"Gordon." The voice repeats in that soft tone. I take a shuddering breath.

"Jiaying." My own voice is uncertain as I grasp onto her hand tightly. "Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me again Gordon." Jiaying says with a smile in her voice. "How are you feeling?"

"I can't keep still." I tell her as the energy within begs for a release. "I can't-"

"Shhh, Gordon." Jiaying soothes, using her free hand to stroke my hair away from my feverish skin.

"I can't control it." I mutter, clinging to Jiaying's hand like it's the only thing keeping me grounded. I feel like if I let go, I'll drift away into the abyss.

"No-one can, not at first, Gordon." Jiaying remind me. "It's perfectly normal."

"My eyes?" I have to ask, the question slipping from my lips. Jiaying is silent for a moment, confirming my worst fears. Some of us, when we change, only change on the insider, remaining the exact same on the outside. The others, we change on the outside as well as the inside. And if Jiaying's silence is anything to go by, I fall into the latter category. Whatever's happened to my eyes… it's permanent now. I can never return to normal.

"What happens now then?" I gather my composure. I have to be strong. I can't let the news of my change affect me. I've prepared long enough for it; I can deal with it, I know I can.

I sense a hesitation from Jiaying. Maybe she's worried about how well I seem to be taking this, I don't know. But whatever the reason for her hesitation, she seems to dispel it from her mind mere moments later.

"The usual process." Jiaying tells me in a calm voice, a source of wisdom and serenity. "I'll help you through your change a little longer, if you would like-"

"No." I interrupt her sharply, my voice surprising loud and firm. "Don't attempt to pamper me, Jiaying. I am not a child anymore. I'll move onto my transitioning as planned."

"If you wish." Jiaying accepts my decision after a few beats. I know she probably doesn't think I'm ready to move on from this chamber for a while. I've lost my eyes, and god knows what's going to happen when my gift fully manifests, and only a few minutes ago I couldn't even breathe through the uncomfortable feeling my gift causes me. But I know that I can not be coddled. I knew what was coming, hence I have no right to act pathetic. I will master this power, this curse. I will not be choked by it.

"Who will be my transitioner, my guide?" I ask her next, still blinking into the never-ending darkness. It scares me, this dark, but I won't allow that fear to consume me. I am stronger than that.

"Gordon, please don't try to be brave." Jiaying seizes my hand anew, with a strange fervour. "I know what it feels like. Don't hold it all in. Confide in me."

"I was prepared for this." I repeat the words that are currently echoing through my head. "I am fine, Jiaying. I don't need to talk about it, because it simply is."

"Gordon, my poor boy." One of Jiaying's hands touch my cheek suddenly, her fingertips light and soft against my skin. I wait for her next sentence, her next consoling attempt. I predict a few ore words about it's okay to hold back, that I should rest and come to terms with my change. I wait with bated breath for the words, so I can deny them before they are passed through her lips. But they never come. Maybe Jiaying knows me better than I thought. Or maybe she's just too tired to fight me over it anymore.

"I have picked out your guide, Gordon." She resumes answering my earlier question. "She has accepted to guide you through your change, to help you discover your gift and all the blessings it contains."

"'She'?" I pick up on the pronoun. "Do I know her?"

"No. Before you, she has never accepted to take on a changed one to guide, even though her skills are great." Jiaying's answer comes swiftly. "You will spend time with her, until you are more familiar with her ways than you are with yourself. And then together, you will ford into the uncharted waters of your gift, until you can reveal it for all to see."

My gift stirs within me, twisting at the mention of it. I grimace as it shoots a wave of pain through me, as I try to bury it. Supressing a gift can come to no good, but I know no other ways to deal with it. And that is where my guide will come in. She will teach me to control my gift, to embrace it, until I no longer feel like suppressing it. Until it becomes second nature for me to use it, instead of hiding from it.

"When will my transitioning start?" I ask Jiaying. "When am I released from this room?"

"I would like to see you wait a few more days." She responds, her fingertips tracing light patterns on my hand to reassure me of her presence. I hate the feeling of blindness, not being able to see what's displayed on her face and instead having to infer it from what I can assume. "But I know that you believe that not to be an option. So you will start immediately." Jiaying pauses, before dropping my hand suddenly.

"Come in." She calls in an authoritative voice. My spine stiffens at the thought of another person seeing me, seeing what I've become, but I lock those thoughts away. I must have no embarrassment with my guide. She will have no judgement visible, so I must return the courtesy.

The door opens and I hear footsteps. They pad over the floor, and I hear material shift against legs as they move. Hair is tossed over one shoulder as I hear the light thud of the strands hitting their back. The person stops in front of where I presume Jiaying stands.

"Jiaying." The person speaks in a soft gentle voice, like the tide retreating away from the beach, creeping back over the sand. I focus on the noise.

"Gordon." Jiaying takes my hand again, and slowly pulls on it, indicating I should take a step forward. Stumbling, I allow myself to be dragged forward a few steps, until I can hear shallow breathing loud in my ears. Jiaying moves my hand and then I flinch as it comes into contact with another one. The skin is warm and soft as Jiaying lays my hand against this unfamiliar palm, the natural heat reassuring me in a strange way. "This is Liliana."

Liliana. The word rings clear in my ears, as my mind immediately connects this skin with that name. I memorise the soft suppleness of the skin, and imprint the name on it. If I can no longer see, I must learn how to hear what I can't see, touch what I can't view, and remember what I can no longer just notice.

"Liliana." Jiaying's robes shift slightly as she moves and then another hand is covering mine. This Liliana's other hand. Like her other one, it's warm and reassuring. Her fingers curl over my tense hand, her fingers gently squeezing the hand, as if she's introducing her skin to mine. "This is Gordon. You will guide him through this. You will help him receive the full capabilities of his gift. You will be his light in the darkness, and you will help him transition from his old life to this new, permanent existence."

"Hello, Gordon." The voice speaks again, this time to me. I swallow as I realise that I can't even look towards her as I reply.

"Hello, Liliana." I respond to her polite greeting.

"I look forward to working with you." I hear a smile laced into her words. "I'm sure we will have a lot to teach each other."

I go to say something else, and then it happens again. Everything shifts, and I'm thrown off balance as my feet leave the floor, and I'm sent back out into the dark. Instead of landing upright this time, my body is sprawled out on the cold floor, my breath completely stolen from me. As I use my hands to pull my body into a seated position, trying to remain calm and in control, not wanting to lose it in front of both Jiaying and my guide Liliana.

This will be my life now. A messy, dark existence where I will forever be dependent on others. I will not be able to live as a free person again, unless I master this gift. And to do that, I must trust my guide, trust that she will lead me into the blinding light so I may emerge a new and changed person. So I may become a true Inhuman.

I hope you enjoyed the first instalment of Translucence. Did you know that this is the first Gordon/OC fic to be posted? When I had this idea, I had to check if there was an idea like it, and it turns out that I'm the first so far! How awesome.

Thanks to anyone who's reading this!

Please leave me a review to tell me what you thought so far?