Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and its characters are copyright Square-enix.
It's not something I feel. It's something I know.
You and he are not the same.
And yet you are.
When you scratch your head or shrug like that, the resemblance is uncanny. It threw me at first. It drew me as well.
Yet when you speak, you are unmistakably yourself. It is only when you are silent, when you are thinking, when you are moving, when you are fighting that you and he become one again.
I want to unravel it.
The mystery of you, the mystery of him, I want to unravel them both.
I loved him. He was my first. He was everything you are, but in many ways he was lighter. You carry so many burdens. He carried none. They slid off of him like water, leaving only a kiss of wet to reveal their presence. Yours slide off of you like mud, clinging and clumping.
You can't be him.
But why are you so similar?
I want to know you, to find you. You're lost, more lost than he ever could have been. It's so strange that you don't know him when you are so like him. Sometimes I think you'll open up to me, but then something will happen and you shut yourself up again.
He was always open. He was like me.
Yet you are the one I'm drawn to, you are the one I want to be with. I want to reach you, to support you, to be with you. I want to help you find what you've lost and what you're searching for.
Because you're searching.
I'd hoped he was alive. I'd hoped he had merely forgotten me and moved on with someone else. Better for him to have had a fling than to have died in some horrible way, all alone.
I'm forced to conclude that this may not have been the case. It pains me, for his family. They were so kind, so desperate. All these years have passed, and he has never contacted them. I can no longer console myself with the idea that he just didn't like me or found someone he liked more.
Now I'll never know.
And now you're here, with me. My time with him seems a lost, precious memory, one that I want to treasure. But now I have someone I want to be with instead. I want him to remain locked away, in the place where all first loves go. I want to focus on you. On your pain, your happiness. Not his.
But why are you so like him?
I have to find out. I'll ask you, and together we'll find the answer. It may take years, it may take time, but I know we'll find it. I won't let you walk alone. I won't let you face whatever awaits you alone.
I'll ask you tonight. After all, I promised you one date. After that, maybe, you and I can start searching for the answer.
Right, Cloud?
Author's note: Aerith drabble, pretty self-explanatory, methinks. I don't usually deal with Zack, but I thought it'd be fun to explore Aerith's feelings for both men right before the date. As always, thank you for reading:)