Mildred was sick. She was sick of Ethel Hallow constantly bragging and shoving her stuck up nose into her business. She was sick of getting on the wrong side of the teachers. Most of all, she was sick of Miss Bat and Miss Hardbroom constantly at each other's throats. Her head of year and her chanting mistress had never seen eye to eye for as long as Mildred could remember but over the past few weeks things had gotten more and more tense.
Firstly it was the Mongolian chanting. Miss Hardbroom couldn't stand that. After their disagreement Miss Bat had locked herself in her cupboard in the staff room for nearly two whole days. Then there was the incident with the stray broomstick jinxed by some of the third years. That wasn't Miss Hardbroom's fault but Miss Bat blamed her anyway.
Disagreement after disagreement followed, for one reason or another. The two teachers just wanted to fight and Miss Cackle, the headmistress of the school, had tried time and time again to resolve the issue. Nothing seemed to work with the pair of them.
Mildred was sat in the great hall with Enid and Maud, playing with her sloppy, cold porridge. Miss Bat was passing servings of the gooey grey stuff out to the students who grumbled miserably as they sat down in the ice cold room.
"The food is awful," Enid muttered as she nibbled some of the porridge off the end of her spoon, a pained expression on her face.
"Nothing's worse than cold porridge. It's bad enough when it's warm," Mildred said, looking at Enid then at her breakfast, "That's it!" She wiggled her fingers, "Warmus Delicious, Honey and Sweetus, Yummius-"
"That's quite enough, Mildred!" barked an icy voice from behind her. Mildred jumped, sparks flying from the tips of her fingers towards Miss Bat's serving table. Miss Bat yelped as the giant bowl of porridge flipped over in front of her and its contents covered her from head to toe.
Mildred turned slowly towards Miss Hardbroom who actually had a sly smirk on her bony face. As soon as she looked at Mildred, however, her expression turned to stone. Mildred felt as though she was the size of a pea when Miss Hardbroom looked at her like that.
"Sorry, Miss Hardbroom." Mildred murmured.
Miss Hardbroom's expression did not soften. Her forehead that was already stretched by that tight bun of hers, was stretched even further. If Mildred didn't know any better, she would have thought Miss Hardbroom's forehead just kept growing and growing.
"If the food at Cackle's Academy does not meet your expectations, Mildred Hubble, perhaps you should source your own food in future. Perhaps ask your friend Mr Blossom to grow you some of his award winning marrows. For now, three hundred lines of 'I must eat what is presented to me'. I expect you to assist Miss Bat with cleaning up this mess. With your friends." She spat her last words with a venom as she eyed Enid and Maud, and she vanished into thin air.
"I don't know why we've been roped into tidying up your mess." grumbled Maud, as she drank some of her orange juice.
X
"I think she did it on purpose." Enid said as she helped Maud and Mildred scrub the floors.
"H.B cause trouble? I know she's mean but she would never-" Maud started, but Enid stopped her.
"Think about it. Her and Miss Bat have been getting at each other for weeks. Miss Bat's been getting at her with her Mongolian chanting and playing those glass jars. Is it possible H.B was just getting her own back?"
Mildred stopped scrubbing for a moment. Miss Hardbroom, vindictive? She may have a nasty exterior what with her constant lecturing about how Mildred was the worst witch in the school but...
Her thoughts were interrupted by shouting and loud footsteps from the corridor outside the dining hall.
"I don't know what you're talking about Davina! Why would I try to scare Mildred Hubble to soak you in the food you serve the pupils!" A voice boomed from the corridor.
Enid's ears pricked up. She got up off the floor and tiptoed towards the door which was ajar.
"Speak of the devil." She whispered as Mildred and Maud joined her in viewing the spectacle in the corridor.
"You've been trying to get me for weeks, Constance! I know your game."
"The stray broomstick in the courtyard was a practical joke by the third years that was swiftly dealt with by me. You, however, were experiencing more of those palpitations of yours. As for the events of this morning, Miss Bat-"
"Your fault!" Miss Bat shouted childishly, running off towards the staff room, no doubt to lock herself in her cupboard.
Mildred saw Miss Hardbroom look taken aback by Miss Bat's accusation, then she regained her composure and walked swiftly towards the staff room, no doubt to continue their argument. Mildred looked around at Maud who pushed her round glasses up her nose and shrugged.
"I don't see it myself, Enid." Maud said, returning to her scrubbing.
Enid stood over her, a mischievous glint in her eyes, her arms crossed.
"Enid, what are you thinking?" Mildred asked, grabbing her brush off the floor.
She said nothing, but Mildred knew the smile on her friend's face. She knew she was up to something.
X
The next morning Mildred sat between Maud and Enid in potions. Miss Hardbroom was demonstrating the effects of a sleeping draught on her own cat, Morgana, a beautiful sleek black cat with piercing green eyes. They had all been given wild frogs to test their own potions on. Mildred knew that regardless of what she did Miss Hardbroom would be disappointed with her results.
"So what are you up to?" Mildred asked as quietly as she could.
"What do you mean?" Enid replied, feigning interest in Miss Hardbroom's lesson.
"You know with H.B and Miss Bat?"
Enid smirked, that familiar impish smirk of hers. She folded her arms on her bench and looked straight at Mildred, an eyebrow raised beneath her heavy fringe.
"Oh come on, Enid. I know we're all sick of H.B and Miss Bat constantly arguing. It's been going on for weeks, but you shouldn't try to get involved-"
"I didn't say a word, Millie-"
"Shh!" Maud hissed, "H.B will shout-"
"Maud Moonshine, Enid Nightshade, Mildred Hubble. What could possibly be more interesting than your potions class?" Miss Hardbroom called across the potions lab, her arms folded across her chest.
The girls said nothing, returning their gaze to the front of the classroom. Miss Hardbroom looked unimpressed, well actually more unimpressed than usual, given that she was normally disappointed by Mildred's behaviour.
Miss Hardbroom stepped out from behind her desk and walked towards the girls, "If I hear you three muttering anymore whilst I am presenting to the class I will send you all to Miss Cackle's office. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Miss Hardbroom." The three girls chorused.
She walked back to the front of the class to continue her demonstration. Ethel Hallow turned around to look at Mildred, a smug look on her face, then returned to her role of teacher's pet.
"I don't know why she's looking so smug." Mildred grumbled under her breath as she watched Miss Hardbroom pour a little of her elixir into the cat's water bowl. The cat drank from the bowl then looked at Miss Hardbroom, purring loudly. It curled up on her desk and fell asleep.
"Now class, you have the ingredients in front of you to prepare the draught. I expect it to be done in ten minutes," Miss Hardbroom sat down, grabbing her clock and placing it in front of her, "Begin."
The minutes seemed to drag on and on. She poured the scoured pond slime into the cauldron along with the dried lavender. She felt like she had been stirring all day. Maud poured a few more ingredients into the cauldron.
"This doesn't look right." She said, glancing over at Ethel's potion. Hers was a beautiful purple, just like the one Miss Hardbroom had used on her cat. Mildred, Maud and Enid's was a strange shade of orange.
"Maybe we need to add some of this." Mildred suggested, grabbing some of the St John's Wort that had been laid out on their bench. She poured all of the dried yellow petals into the cauldron which bubbled dangerously.
A strange smell drifted from the cauldron. Mildred breathed it in deeply and she felt very strange indeed. The fumes made her skin feel sore and itchy.
"That still doesn't look right, Millie." Maud said, as Miss Hardbroom's clock rang. They had reached their time limit.
She rose from her desk, walking towards each bench in turn, watching as the girls tried their potions on the frogs. Their potion still didn't look right. It had gone from orange to a disgusting pus yellow. Finally Miss Hardbroom reached Mildred's bench.
"Dare I ask you to try your potion on your frog, Mildred?" Miss Hardbroom asked as she gazed carefully into the cauldron. She rolled her eyes, "You have made the wrong potion, yet again, Mildred."
Ethel smirked to her friend, Drusilla, as Miss Hardbroom examined the potion.
"Which potion is it, Miss?" Enid asked, flicking her fringe out of her eyes.
"I believe, Enid, that you and your friends have made a potion that gives the consumer spots all over their body. I would allow you to try it on your frog, Mildred, but sadly I feel that you would somehow create yet another disaster." Miss Hardbroom marched back towards the front of the class, "Unless you want to be scrubbing pus off all of the walls of the classroom."
X
"Have you and Miss Bat come to an agreement, Constance?" Miss Cackle said, pouring herself and her deputy head a cup of tea.
Miss Hardbroom took a sip of her tea, breathed in deeply, then looked at Miss Cackle, "I don't know what you expect me to say, Miss Cackle. The woman is neurotic. She believes I have a vendetta against her," she took another sip of tea and continued, "I don't agree with some of her methods, I admit, but to perform childish pranks like flipping porridge onto her, or attacking her with a broomstick..."
Miss Cackle nodded, her eyes twinkling in the sunlight streaming through the staff room window, "I understand, Constance. Which is why I am asking you both to observe each other's lessons and assist where necessary."
"But Miss Cackle, that's completely preposterous! Miss Bat doesn't know the first thing about potions!"
"And according to Davina you don't know the first thing about chanting. But for the good of the academy the pair of you need to learn how to work together. I've discussed it with Miss Drill and she believes it is a good idea."
Miss Hardbroom looked simply dumbstruck. She furrowed her stretched brow and sipped her tea.
=======================
"And a one and a two and a!" Miss Bat waved her maestro's baton at the girls who broke into a chorus of shrieking and howls. Miss Hardbroom was sat at the front of the class, covering her ears.
"Is this quite necessary, Miss Bat?!" She shouted over the girls' chanting.
Miss Bat stopped waving her baton and turned, furiously, to look at Miss Hardbroom, "If I am to believe that you think you could do a better job of conducting Mongolian undertone chanting than I can, then maybe you should conduct the class."
"This is ridiculous, why is H.B even here?" Mildred asked Maud, folding her arms over her chest.
"Apparently it was Miss Cackle's idea." Replied Maud, who was watching the heated discussion between the two teachers, "To help them understand each other a bit more."
"...For goodness sake, Davina. For the last time I did not-" Miss Hardbroom was up on her feet, towering over Miss Bat.
"Every day I have worked with you you have intimidated me, you have bullied me. You get around it because you're the deputy head but-"
"You just don't like me having the authority, do you?" Miss Hardbroom sneered, as Miss Bat's bottom lip trembled.
The girls looked at each other. Enid cracked her fingers.
"What are you going to do?" Mildred grabbed Enid's arm to stop her, but she just smiled.
"Maybe they should see the situation from each other's perspective," Enid wiggled her fingers, muttering a spell under her breath.
Nothing seemed to change.
"Well that didn't work, did it?" Noted Maud as Miss Bat continued to shriek at Miss Hardbroom, even after Enid cast her spell.
Miss Bat squeeled terribly, running out of the classroom. Miss Hardbroom was left at the front of the class, a fierce look in her dark eyes, her cheeks scarlet and her chest rising and falling rapidly. Mildred and Enid looked at each other. Enid just shrugged as the dinner bell rang and the girls left the classroom to head towards their cold fish heads with thin pale gravy.
X
The girls were sat on Mildred's bed in their pyjamas discussing the events of the day. Miss Bat and Miss Hardbroom's argument in the chanting classroom had spread like wildfire through the school. It wouldn't have surprised Mildred if every single girl in the school was sat up talking about it.
"Did you see the look on Hardbroom's face?" Announced Ruby Cherrytree. She did her best impression of Miss Hardbroom, scowling fiercely at the girls, who burst into laughter. Ruby was as familiar with Miss Hardbroom's glaring as Mildred. She had had countless amounts of earphones zapped away from her by their potions teacher.
"Bet she was dead angry with Miss Cackle after that," said Maud, "I still can't believe she had them teaching together."
"Neither can I." Commented Enid, "H.B can be a nasty piece of work-"
Mildred's bedroom door crashed open revealing Miss Hardbroom, her long black hair hanging around her waist, a lantern in her hand, "When you have quite finished discussing the relationships of your teachers perhaps it would be a good idea to go to bed, Enid Nightshade!"
All the girls, except Mildred, stood up and walked sluggishly out of the bedroom. Miss Hardbroom glared at Mildred, then closed the door behind her. Mildred swiftly blew out the candle on her bedside table and put her head on her pillow. Tabby curled up beside her, purring softly. Mildred scratched his ears. She wondered what on Earth Enid had done to Miss Bat and Miss Hardbroom. They seemed exactly the same in her opinion. She sighed deeply and snuggled up against Tabby.
The next morning, Mildred and Maud walked quietly into the potions lab to see Miss Hardbroom wearing her hair down in loose waves, her usual black gown replaced with a deep magenta dress sewn with golden thread and a green shawl over her shoulders.
"You look different, Miss!" Ruby stated as Mildred and Maud sat down.
Miss Hardbroom smiled. She looked genuinely pleased at Ruby's comment, "Thank you, dear," she turned to look at the class, "Now I've written down on my notepad that we are going to be making an invisibility potion today, but who really wants to do that?"
Mildred's jaw fell open. She looked at Maud, who looked just as shocked as Mildred did. Then the pair of them looked at Enid who was smiling to herself.
"No one really wants to make boring old potions do they? Let's go out for a walk in the meadows! Let's enjoy the weather!"
Miss Hardbroom went to open the door and the girls, who were flabbergasted by their form tutor's change in attitude, followed her.
The girls walked through the castle as hoards of first years and third years gawked at Miss Hardbroom who greeted them all with a smile. Mildred could hear the girls mumbling.
"What's happened to H.B?" She heard one girl cry.
"I love your hair, Miss Hardbroom!" A first year called out, to which Miss Hardbroom chuckled to herself and thanked the girl.
Finally they reached the front door and exited the castle, walking out of the gates and towards the meadows of wild flowers that Miss Bat had taken them to so often.
"What is wrong with Miss Hardbroom?" Mildred heard Drusilla Paddock ask Ethel, "It's like she's had a personality transplant or something."
"Mildred Hubble!" Called Miss Hardbroom. Mildred hated it when she shouted her name. She always felt like she was in trouble. The teacher walked towards Mildred and handed her a small wicker basket that had appeared out of thin air, "I want you to collect some beautiful wild flowers. You have the best eye for that kind of thing. We will present them to Miss Cackle as a gift in assembly tomorrow. The rest of you can enjoy the sunshine."
The girls seemed to disperse and ran around the meadow shouting and playing with one another. Maud and Enid followed Mildred whilst she picked some wild flowers for Miss Cackle.
"She hasn't changed too much. I'm still not allowed to have fun in her classes." Mildred moaned as she picked a cluster of pink flowers.
"I don't know. She seems more relaxed to me." Commented Enid, who stood with her arms crossed. She squinted as the sun beat down on them.
The girls collected the flowers for their headmistress together and as Miss Hardbroom called them over to examine the flowers, they could hear the bells chiming in the castle. They walked back towards the school, Miss Hardbroom carrying the basket of flowers, the girls walking happily behind her, chattering. When they reached the doors of the castle, however, they found Miss Bat glaring at them.
"What is the meaning of this?" Miss Bat said in an uncharacteristically icy tone.
Miss Hardbroom stopped in her tracks, "I simply took the girls for a relaxing walk around the meadow, nothing more," she showed Miss Bat the flowers in the basket, "Mildred picked these for Miss Cackle. Aren't they lovely?"
Miss Bat sneered and without warning, she folded her arms and vanished. Miss Hardbroom turned to the girls, shrugged, then lead them to the great hall where they were to feast on cold, dried out chicken breasts followed by some of Mrs Tapioca's finest sticky toffee pudding.
The girls took their servings from Mrs Tapioca herself and sat down at their usual table. Mildred watched Miss Bat sit down at the staff table next to Miss Cackle, followed by Miss Hardbroom who grabbed a portion of sticky toffee pudding and sat down beside them.
Finally Mildred understood. She turned to Enid, "So that's what you've done to them!"
"I don't know what you mean."
Maud raised an eyebrow, "Millie is right. It's like..." she looked over at the staff table, "Remember that movie? Where the mum and the daughter swap places?"
Mildred took a bite of her chicken dinner. Mrs Tapioca made sure it was swimming in gravy for her.
"Enid, it's not fair." Maud exclaimed, "You need to swap them back!"
Enid smirked, "They haven't swapped places," Mildred and Maud looked at each other, "They've simply taken on parts of each others personalities. Deep down they're exactly the same as they were before..."
At her words, Miss Hardbroom leapt from the staff table, wailing and running away, her long black hair flying behind her. Miss Cackle went after her, shouting for her to calm down.
"Okay, maybe the spell was a bit stronger than I was expecting.." Enid muttered to herself, taking a spoonful of the custard in her desert bowl.
X
Miss Cackle ran breathlessly into the staff room. She was sure Miss Hardbroom had come in here... But there was no sign of her. She took a deep breath and sat down at the small table next to the window and rubbed her forehead. She couldn't understand what had gotten into the pair of them. Davina and Constance... it was like they-
Her train of thought was disturbed by a loud sniff from the cupboard in the corner of the room. But surely she couldn't be in there, Miss Cackle wondered, rising from her seat. She walked slowly towards the cupboard and tapped softly on the door. The door opened ajar and Miss Hardbroom looked back at her, her eyes bloodshot and her cheeks tear stained.
X
"Will you control yourselves, girls?!" Miss Bat barked at the front of the classroom, "Just because your head of year has decided to go hysterical does not mean that you can too!"
The girls were silent at once. Miss Bat sat down at her organ and began to play the school song. The girls followed her lead and sang along with her playing.
Undercover of the class' singing, Mildred turned to Enid, "You need to swap them back, Enid!"
Enid pretended to ignore her, still singing along (out of tune) with Miss Bat.
"Enid, it's not fair!"
"MILDRED HUBBLE!" Miss Bat pounded the keys of the organ as she shot a stony glare at Mildred, "What is more interesting than practicing your singing?!"
Mildred looked down at her trailing boot laces, "Nothing Miss-"
"Are you willing to share your conversation with the rest of the class." Miss Bat tilted her head, an angry gleam in her eye.
Mildred wanted so badly to say what was going on but she knew from her previous experiences that no one would believe her. She mumbled, "I was just talking about tomorrow's assembly, Miss, how we're presenting those flowers to Miss Cackle."
"You can go and present yourself to Miss Cackle then, girl. Get out of my sight," She spat, marching back up to the organ as Mildred escorted herself to the headmistress' office. She knocked on the door and sat outside on the wooden stool, staring at the stone wall opposite her.
The door opened and Miss Cackle looked at her, "Mildred. Come in, dear."
Mildred stood up, and walked into the office and saw Miss Hardbroom, with a cup of tea in her shaking hands, sat in a winged armchair beside the window.
"What seems to be the problem?" Miss Cackle asked, sitting at her desk and inviting Mildred to take a seat opposite her.
Mildred looked at Miss Cackle and then at Miss Hardbroom, "I was sent by Miss Bat. I was talking during our chanting lesson."
Miss Cackle nodded, "Have you noticed anything different about your chanting teacher, Mildred?"
Mildred nodded quickly, watching as Miss Cackle turned to look at Miss Hardbroom.
"And Miss Hardbroom?" Miss Cackle asked.
"Miss Hardbroom seemed more relaxed this morning in class. Normally she is stern but today it was like she had swapped places with Miss Bat."
Miss Cackle eyed Mildred, as though she was x-raying her, "And do you know who is responsible for this sudden change in both of your teachers?"
Mildred looked down at her pale hands folded in her lap. If she told Miss Cackle the truth she would be betraying Enid.
Miss Cackle stood up, "Sometimes it is hard to know what to do in this kind of situation, isn't it? On the one hand you could either lose a friend or have a month's worth of detention. But on the other you would have to deal with the weight of two teachers' suffering on your conscious. You must do what is right, not what is easy. What is right for your school, what is right for your fellow students..."
Miss Hardbroom let out a shuddering breath, dabbing her eyes with a purple handkerchief.
Mildred sighed deeply. Miss Cackle was right, she needed to tell her the truth. But she couldn't tell her it was Enid. She couldn't risk losing her friend, "I'm sorry Miss Cackle," Mildred lied, "It was me."
Miss Hardbroom looked up at Mildred and she saw disappointment in those deep eyes.
"I see." Miss Cackle stated, removing her green horn-rimmed glasses and pressing the bridge of her nose, "Why did you do it?"
"I was sick of Miss Bat and Miss Hardbroom constantly fighting. If it wasn't the porridge it was the Mongolian chanting. If it wasn't broomsticks it was Miss Bat playing glass jars in the staff room. I just thought they should see it from each other's point of view."
Miss Cackle looked out of the window, "I appreciate your honesty."
Mildred's heart sank, "Miss—"
"I will prepare a suitable punishment for you, Mildred. In the meantime I will turn Miss Hardbroom and Miss Bat back into their usual selves. Tomorrow your teachers will be back to normal," Miss Cackle walked towards the door, "You can go back to your class now."
Mildred walked past Miss Cackle and towards her chanting class. She heard the school bell ring, signalling the end of the day. Instead of heading towards the classroom to meet up with her friends, she made her way to her dormitory. She could hear her friends' laughter as she opened and closed her bedroom door. She threw herself on her bed, almost hitting Tabby who jumped out of the way with a yowl.
"I can't believe I lied, Tabs. I know I did it to protect Enid, but it's Miss Cackle!"
Her cat nuzzled her hand gently, looking at her with his big round eyes. Even though he couldn't speak, sometimes Mildred felt that Tabby was telling her something.
There was a soft knock on the door, "Millie?" It was Maud's voice.
Mildred stood and opened the door to let her friend in. Maud sat on her bed, stroking Tabby gently.
"What happened with Miss Cackle? Are you okay?"
Mildred shook her head. She explained the situation to Maud, who couldn't believe what she had done. Maud pushed her glasses up her nose.
"I know you had your reasons for doing it, but I think you should turn Enid in! She has caused enough trouble already!"
"I know, Maud, I know. But if Miss Cackle knows that I lied I'll get an even worse punishment. She still hasn't decided what to do with me."
"I'm surprised she didn't threaten to expel you, to be honest." Maud said quietly. Mildred agreed. Expulsion did seem like an accurate punishment. But it wasn't Miss Cackle's style, was it? It was more like H.B... Or Miss Bat.
Maud and Mildred sat on the bed for what seemed like five minutes, but as the sun set over the hills surrounding Cackle's Academy and day turned into night, there was a soft knock on the door as Miss Hardbroom did the rounds, telling the girls to go to bed.
"She'll be back to normal tomorrow, according to Miss Cackle," Said Mildred.
"Good, I don't like Miss Bat being Hardbroomified." Maud chuckled softly at her statement. She hugged Mildred and left to go to her own room and go to bed.
X
The next morning the girls made their way down to the Friday morning assembly. Mildred had told Enid about what happened with Miss Cackle over a breakfast of smelly old kippers and half cooked toast. Enid was in disbelief, much like Maud had been, and had promised to tell Miss Cackle everything.
The girls sat down in the great hall and looked for the teachers. Miss Drill was the only one there, her short blonde hair smoothed back. Where was Miss Cackle? Where were Miss Bat and H.B?
Had there been a problem returning them back to normal, she wondered. The girls chattered amongst themselves until Miss Cackle walked into the hall, by herself.
Mildred was worried now. Why wouldn't Miss Hardbroom be there? She could understand Miss Bat not being there. She rarely came to assemblies. She was usually locked in her cupboard in the staff room.
Miss Cackle stood in front of the girls, "As you all know there has been a change in both Miss Hardbroom and Miss Bat lately. They have both been acting out of character," she scanned the crowd, "A student at this school took it upon herself to help them get along. I tried to return them back to normal last night." Miss Cackle looked nervously at Mildred, who felt Enid stir beside her.
"I'm sorry, Miss Cackle!" Enid announced, "I know Mildred said she did it, but..." She took a deep breath, "It was me."
Miss Cackle smiled, "I'm glad you admitted that, Enid Nightshade, rather than let your friend be punished for your crimes," she looked at the door through which she had arrived some moments ago, "for both Miss Hardbroom and Miss Bat are back to normal."
"And," a familiar icy voice came through the doorway and Miss Hardbroom stepped through it, her hair tied back in her usual tight bun again and she was dressed in one of her black gowns, followed by Miss Bat who was carrying the wild flowers that Mildred had picked the day before, "I think I have found a suitable punishment for both of you."
Miss Hardbroom looked at Mr Blossom who was holding two pairs of garden sheers.
"Well it's better than being shouted at by Miss Bat, I guess," Enid stated.
Mildred smiled. She guessed that pruning the school's wild rose bushes with her friend wasn't such a bad way to spend a sunny afternoon.
A/N: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.