It's been 5 days …. 5 days since my heart stopped beating.

'It's you Catherine'

Vincent had refused to speak again, refused to look at me again. Leaving those words coupled with the indefinable look on his face haunting me for 5 days. JT had pushed me out of the warehouse and 5 days ago I had lacked the strength to fight back. Vincent's words ringing in my ears stripped me of the confidence to hold my position.

But after spending the last 5 days with the all consuming doubts and pain festering I've shored up enough nerve to finally confront MY BEAST.

I say good bye to Tess as I leave the station. I barely register her prodding me to enjoy my three day weekend. I think enjoy is the wrong descriptor for my plans, but the gesture was appreciated.

Its only 3:30 when I arrive at the warehouse and JT's car is not there. I don't know if this 'security system' JT is always complaining about is on or not but nothing is going to stop me from getting to Vincent. Even though I haven't made it three feet from my car yet, I start talking. I know Vincent can hear me, I know that my approach may be affecting him and if he's starting to change I want him to hear my voice. I would hope he finds it comforting.

"Hey, I know. I know JT will be so mad when he gets here and I know he told me not to come back but WE had a deal. No silence longer then a week. Every week we are supposed to check in. So I know your ok. Granted OK is probably not the word you would use to describe yourself lately, and yes I'm bordering on rude by checking in 2 days early, but I cant NOT check in on you today."

By this time I have reached the door to their apartment. The door that separates the creepy dark space of the abandoned warehouse from the warmth of the home Vincent and JT had made.

I took a deep breath trying to steady my nerves. Picking their locks with shaking hands only prolongs the project. By the time I finally get through the door my heart sinks again. I'd hoped against hope that JT and Vincent had come to their senses on their own, and Vincent would be standing on the other side of the door smiling at me, ready to tease me for how long it took me to break in this time.

I look at the old elevator and can't stop the hatred I feel towards the intimate object. Hatred I'm sure is reflected on my face as I slid the door open. My breath catches and my heart sprints at the sight before me. Vincent is sitting a foot from the bars eyes closed head tilted up as if praying for reprieve. But reprieve from what I wonder.

"Please Vincent talk to me" But he doesn't move. "I know you can hear me, I need you to look at me Vincent." He still doesn't move, not even to breathe. If I didn't know that he can hold his breath for 15 min. I'd be terrified he was dead.

'Vincent I'm so sorry. You are so important to me and I missed you these past 5 days. I tried to stay away. I did. I couldn't." At that I reached a hand through the bars and placed a hand over his chest.

"It hurt Vincent. Staying away, it was hurting me and I know it's selfish but I couldn't hurt any longer. Not when it would be so easy to stop the pain." His head slowly started to fall his shoulders slumping down till I felt his chin touch my hand. I wanted to hold him so badly.

"Catherine" Is all he said. But the pain in those three syllables shattered what was left of my heart. I sobbed once, as quietly as I could. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter as if blocking out the sound. I couldn't help it though. I wanted to hold him, I needed to be held.

"Please Vincent, where is the key?"

He just shook his head.

"Please I will come in there. You don't have to come out."

He got up and walked to the back of the cage. Even facing away from me I could tell his resolve was weakening.

"We KNOW the beast won't hurt me. We've been there, whether you're in control or not I'm safe with you."

"You're Never safe with me" He screamed causing me to jump, but also spurring me on. "Vincent, do you want to know why I didn't use the trank dart? The real reason, not the justifications I made to JT. I didn't feel threatened and I couldn't … the gun … the violence of shooting you was too much. Especially because I KNEW you wouldn't hurt me. Was I nervous - Hell yes. Scared - yes but not for myself -for you. I was scared for you. But still I couldn't do it. Did not shooting you make me selfish, in hindsight I guess. But I couldn't HURT you Vincent, in any form."

His body began to tremble like it did in the tunnel.

"Vincent, tell me where the key is. Tell me now."

"Fire box under my bed." Is all I hear before I bolt up the stairs and practically throw his bed over. I find the small safe and carry the whole thing down stairs. Stopping again in front of the makeshift cell I wait. He has to give me the combination. He knows this, as well as I know this.

"11 16 1983" he mutters so quietly I barely hear it. If it hadn't been my own birth date I would have had to ask him to repeat it. As soon as the box is open I'm tearing through it. All that matters right now is that key. Once I have my hands on it swiftly and confidently I unlock the pad lock and start unwinding the chains from around the bars. My anxiousness growing as what seems like hundreds of feet of heavy chains falls to the floor around my feet. I slid the gate apart just enough to squeeze through not even bothering to fully remove the chain and cross the few steps and wrap my arms around Vincent's waist. A bold move considering the most affection I've been able to show previously was ultimately rejected, I know.

I had been so focused on getting in I hadn't noticed Vincent hadn't moved. He is still trembling. He was still standing facing the wall hands extended at shoulder height muscles clenched. He feels warm to the touch and I wrap myself around him from behind clinging to him. He hasn't moved, again he isn't breathing.

"Please Vincent look at me." But before I can finish the sentence I heard JT at the front door cursing.

"I swear to GOD what is wrong with YOU." Is all I really make out before I release Vincent and turn around to face JT.

"If your scared chain it back up" and I threw the key at him through the bars. "I'm not leaving his side till he talks to me and we sort out why the new hypothesis is that adrenaline, anger, and Catherine cause him to Beast out."

"10 years, Vincent and I have been dealing with this for 10 years. No fugue states, no dissociative events. Then you sashay into his life and he can't remember hours at time. He comes home covered in blood and can't explain why. Believe or not you are the cause. You are HURTING him! Can't you SEE that?"

Before I could breakdown, which is all I wanted to do Vincent let out a roar from behind me. Springing into action JT tried to grab me through the bars, to pull me from the cage but I back away stumbling and tripping over Vincent falling to the floor.

I speak quietly dejectedly still stinging from JT's outburst. "Chain it back up, but he won't hurt me and I'm not leaving him alone in here."

Vincent starts hitting the wall but glancing up at him I can tell the transformation isn't complete. He is struggling against it. I can hear JT wrapping chains. I can hear his words replaying over and over in my head but I can't move I can't stop staring at Vincent's back. Willing him my strength, praying for his safety and his sanity that he calms him self. Suddenly the dart gun is thrown throw the bars and with a final disgusted look JT closed the outer doors, plunging me and Vincent into near darkness.

I sat quietly waiting for my eyes to adjust. The small window let a spot of light in, but not enough for my eyes to make out the details of Vincent. He was stiff and unmoving still facing away from me.

But as always what I could see was perfect. I was so entranced by the flexing of his back muscles, and the rhythmic sound of his breathing I was startled when he turned back to face me. His face was red, tear tracks clearly visible down his checks. He kneeled quickly at my side and firmly but gently started running his hands up my legs starting at my ankles.

The pubescent girl in me was transfixed at the sensation of his touch, but the experienced women knew this was his doctors training not desire moving his hands around my lower legs. He was checking for injuries from my fall I repeated to myself hoping to calm my hormones.

Once satisfied with my shins and knee's he grabs first one hand then the other. Checking for broken fingers, I think. When he went to release my hands I clamp my fingers down around his and looked into his eyes.

I want to apologize again. I want to tell him that the shock of his new incarceration and the fear that I'd truly be denied his company made me analyze my feelings. I want to tell him that when done with the endless analyzing I admitted to myself that its love I feel in my chest when I see him. But I'm a coward and I stay silent.

I see tears spring to his eyes and without thinking I pull him down to sit at my side. I pull him close leaning him against my side pulling him into a half hug. I know that he allowed me to do this, and I'm pleased he must still trust me somewhat.

Suddenly I feel him drop. He lays down resting his head in my lap and all I can think is he needs comfort and he's looking to me to give it. This thought raises my spirits despite the melancholy surrounding us.

If I can just get through to him...

"I know we are surrounded by darkness. I know you can't imagine ever seeing the light again. And it scares me so much, but I am not leaving. I will be here to hold you for as long as it takes. I just need you to tell me that we'll be alright."

He turns his head in my lap to look up at me, and I wait with baited breath. "You've stayed despite having seen my pain, my faults, my ghosts, and my hopelessness. If it was possible to do you'd be the only person who could lead me away from the darkness."