Blackmail Material

"Gimme a break Hobbes.  I haven't worn rollarblades in over two years."

            "You're just mad because I'm beating your sorry ass."

            "Just shoot the damn puck."

            "It's a ball in street hockey."

            "Whatever!"

            "You don't have to get mad, Fawkes.  It's just a game."

            "Shoot the damn-"

            "Ok, ok.  You don't have to yell."

            whoosh  "Lucky shot."

            "Sure, Fawkes.  Whatever you say, buddy."

            whoosh  "You're cheating!"

            "Am not!  I'm insulted you'd even suggest such a thing."

            "Oh please.  You're only acting indignant because you're guilty."

            "Ha!  You're just a sore loser."

            "I haven't lost yet."

            "Sure, Fawkes.  You must be hiding some pretty stellar moves then."

            "Just gimme a minute, Hobbesy.  Perfection requires concentration."

            whoosh  "That's your idea of perfection.  The ball's over in the neighbor's yard.  Fawkes?  Fawkes?"

            "Hobbes, I think I've got a problem."
            snort  "I'll say."

            "Are you gonna stand there laughing or are you gonna help your partner?"

            "I was considering standing here laughing."

            "Cactus spines imbedded in one's arm is not a funny matter!"

            "It is when Darien Fawkes is the recipient of said spines."

            "Some friend you are!  And what am I supposed to do now?"

            "How should I know?  I'm no doctor."

            "You gonna make me drive myself to the Keep one-handed?"

            "I would never endanger the community like that.  Of course I'll drive."

            "Who the hell plants a cactus under their mailbox?!!"

            "Someone who doesn't feel their mail is safe from unsuspecting, amateur street hockey players?"

            "I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer."

            "Get in the van, Fawkes."

            "I'm sure Claire's going to get a good laugh out of this."

            "I'm sure she will.  And I'll make certain that the Official, Eberts, and Monroe all get to appreciate the situation as well.  Maybe if I spread the word fast enough, I can sell tickets to Claire's de-spining party."

            "You are a very cruel little man."

            "I do what I can.  I should also make sure I get photographic evidence in case any of us ever start to forget that you fell off your skates and into a cactus."

            "So you're going to blackmail me too, huh?  I'll remember this, Hobbesy.  The next time you do something stupid, I'll be certain to get pictures."

            "I don't plan on ever falling in a cactus, my friend.  You're going to have to wait a long, long time."

            grrrr  "Some friend."

            "What was that, Fawkes?  You're mumbling."

            "Aren't we there yet?"