Welp, this is happening.

So say you're a normal human fan, and you really really wish you could meet these fictional characters in person, or maybe you just like the world they live in and wish to go there.

Now let's say you're the kind of person who goes one step further and actually imagines it. Sure, I do that all the time; it's not a crime. Heck, when you daydream about it, it doesn't matter what you do! I'm Percy Jackson's long lost twin sister who's a reincarnation of myself and can sometimes read minds. No one cares. (Or they shouldn't anyway.)

But there comes a time when you just can't leave the idea in your head anymore. There comes a time when you want to write a Self-Insert. Well, it happens to some people, anyway.

My point is that you need to stop now and take a deep breath; this is dangerous territory, and most people will just flat out tell you to shut up and keep it in your head. Those people are wimps. You and I? We're about to embark on a quest to find where the line between Mary Sues and Self-Inserts blurs. You and I are about to travel through...

The Valley of Temptation

Imagine for me two places.

There's Mary Sue Gardens, where pretty girls and OOC canons run free. There's free limbo, sexy people doing sexy things, and every Sue has their own personal shrine at which their canons can worship them while they're busy with a different canon. All of them are pretty, most of them have "troubled" pasts, and every single one has SOMETHING to whine about that, to them, is as bad as Hitler. (It isn't.)

Then there's Self-Insert City, where everyone is working under the rule of their own personal god; some people are enjoying themselves, some people are miserable, some people don't know what's going on, some people know too much of what's going on, and some people have long since adopted the "F*** it" mentality. Either way, everyone is unique. Your opinion of each one depends on your preference, and you can usually find canons hanging out in their own personal hotels, now and then getting a friendly visit from an OC. (Or a fatal one from one of the OCs gods.)

These places don't live in harmony. The residents of Self-Insert City look at the Mary Sues with a vague contempt, and the gods and goddesses of Mary Sue Gardens gaze at Self-Insert City with sympathetic pity tears in their shimmering sapphire/golden/rainbow/etcetera eyes. They're always at war, with Mary Sues trying to valiantly save the Self-Inserts from themselves, (invading) and the Self-Inserts trying desperately to push them back. There are many casualties.

Actually, I have the numbers right here. Hold on, lemme get then out...

Self-Insert army: deaths and losses

Dead: 2.3million

Sued: 84.7million

Note: The deaths mean the OCs who were cast aside by their god in the fear that they would become a Sue. Sueds... You can guess.

Salvation army: Heroines Who Sacrificed Themselves for the Cause and betrayals

Sacrifices: 3,235,941

Betrayals: 27,871

As you can see, the war isn't going well for Self-Insert City. My mission right now is to help their cause by raising awareness of their plight.

Remember The Valley of Temptation I was talking about earlier? That's what the SIs call the battlefield on the line between their realms. It's horrible to get caught up there, and easy to be pulled over to the other side once you've considered its offers.

Fortunately, it's also a weakness for the Sues; this is where their poor abandoned god (because yes, Sues have gods too) can reclaim them. Sometimes the Sue joins the SIs, sometimes they take a plane to the OC Circus, but the majority of the time you'll find their gods smiting them in shame.

My mission is to help these gods tempt their Sue into the Valley long enough to either be saved or smited, and to help prevent the Sueing of Self-Inserts. Speak now with your concerns and join the cause.

Next chapter will be the actual guide. I just like visuals.