Twilight Sunset
~Blu~
I was slightly annoyed when the sun's glare penetrated into my hollow, drifting me away from my wonderful dream, the one I wouldn't probably forget anytime soon. The soreness from my aged back came to me, and my blurry eyes scanned the room, awaiting their proper function to be restored. The dull and chill sensation was penetrating my skin, sending a jolt of shiver to my body.
The sensation lasted until I grabbed the some moss to encase my body, allowing my body's heat to remain still. I let out a blissful sigh as the warmth slowly returned into my body, and began to effort to rise from my nest.
The silence was drumming my ear in deafening intensity, something I'd started to grow accustomed after all this time. I lifted my weak body and pacing through the opening of my tree's hollow, tasting an ample of evening's air filled my lungs. I closed my eyes to let the atmosphere sinking in, before reopened them and exhaled blissfully.
The sunset was marking the end of the day, the usual time for me to watch them. The yellow sun's ray reminded me of my state right now, being old and aged over the years, with much grey feathers already covering my body.
I chuckled, the fact that I wasn't in my prime anymore was something amusing to my life. I really wish the earth rotating slower than it should be, allowing me to spend some more time with my family and friends.
I recalled the tragic event that happened to Tulio for… maybe five years ago when he got in a flight accident, the one that devastated Linda and Fernando; I still recalled their sobbing as the news announced that not a single survivor was found from the crash.
The once bright and colored life from my life was started to lose its vibrant saturation, leaving me with bleak state. True, that I wasn't really that close with Tulio… but still, Linda's anguish cry pierced my heart, being close as we used too.
She was tempted to bring me back to Minnesota along with Fernando, but being a free bird as I should, she left me behind with my family. Sure, I would miss her a lot, the fact that she was the one that tended and raised me for fifteen years.
The mixed feelings still raged until today, even after all this years. I really want to send her something, asking her about what she was doing or how was she. Well, that still classified as silly things I guess, how come a bird sent a mail to humans; the silly thought passed by eventually, but still, I wished for the best for her.
The sun's ray was basking with its glorious light, the moment for the entire tribe to spent some time together with family and friends, maybe shared a laugh, or just enjoying the translucent golden beam touching their body as they chatted about everything that comes up in their mind, simply divine experience to missed on.
But the metaphor of the twilight sunset was more deeper than what people might think, and I already know the much bigger picture of the golden beam that somehow never tired to shrouds the land with its glow.
Still, it was too early for someone to enjoy the twilight at its best, and my belly was asking me a snack, another sustenance to keep me alive and endure another day. I opened my wing, the cracking joint were audible as my wing extended into its full stretch. I let myself wonder what kind of medicine or secret that allowed Eduardo to stay active in this age. Then again, it was always too late for me to ask about everything, I might be quite intimidated with his presence, but still he gave me a sense of yearning.
Maybe that's because I never know my parents, and his existences in my life somehow gave me some consolation that I still gained some opportunity to have a father. Yeah, I know that he wasn't my blood father but still, my bond with Jewel as mate allowed me to taste the experience of having a father.
It should be noted that I quite wondered the whereabouts of my parents, I never met them in my entire life, and certainly with my current state; it wasn't something I hoped anymore, sometimes I had to understand that not all secrets of life should be revealed, and maybe it was for my own good. Ignorance is a bliss they said.
I flapped my aged wing; some of my plumages were shredded with my movement, sending those grey-bluish feathers fell slowly onto the forest floor, and heading straight into the jungle to search my meal.
It's funny when I realized I was craving for some hot chocolate and marshmallow Linda used to give me, the chocolate's sweet flavor combined with the perfect ratio of the marshmallow made my beak watered. I also recalled the aroma of the brewing chocolate swept over my nostrils, sending a delighted sensory input into my brain, and finally took a sip of that liquid goodness.
I chuckled as I remembered the havoc I created back there in Minnesota when someone accidentally startling me and ending up throwing the chocolate to his face, sending him into a panicked state as the warm sticky chocolate made contact with his face. His priceless face was among some good memories I got from Minnesota.
Then again, I wouldn't trade Rio – or rather the Amazon for that white and cold land anymore, even that meant I was going to be separated from Linda for the rest of my life. The retrospect comparison between colorful Rio with Minnesota was merely a tiny fraction of what I was aiming. While Minnesota might be the place where I grew up and thrived, Rio was my home.
I admit that the exact reason was her, my gem. She is my reason to live another day, to saw her beautiful face as she rose from slumber like a hatchling, yawning and shot me her beautiful turquoise eyes.
My beak possessed a smile at the thought, it was true that Jewel never failed to bring a smile to my face when I saw her, because the love that manifest from my heart for her was pure, something that wasn't tainted by the fact that we were the last among our species – well until we moved to the Amazon of course.
My flight was uneven as my aged wing started to get strained from my flight. I was quite annoyed to know that I wasn't able to do what I wanted to do like I used in the past. Well, the price of life was always expensive, and now I suffered the consequences of loaning too much time from life.
Still, I wasn't going to give up just yet. I might be old, but not useless. I began the effort to keep myself afloat, the task was excruciating, and it gave me a panted breath. This kind of situation always reminded me of my first flight with Jewel, the day when I jumped out of the plane for her, because I couldn't live without her, and I would never be.
I still remembered the sensation of my first flight (and kiss). The sea breeze ruffled my plumage as I stretched my wings wide, and the freedom of the flight I was thinking was more wondrous and joyful than what I was expected. Mainly, because of her, I found the courage to fight my disability and became birds.
But for the most part, the kiss was the reason I could do it. the fact that Jewel loved me, and I loved her too; her mutual love sent me a rhythm to my heart, something I wasn't sure what it was, but the sensation activated my instinct, ignoring every single facts, calculations that once drummed into my head that overwhelmed my heart's soft voice.
I decided to land on a nearby branch, panting heavily. My body wasn't as fit as yesterday, plus my low energy reserves from my body only intensified the fatigue I gained from the short and brief flight to the Brazil nut grove. I scratched the branch below me, the manifestation of my frustration over my condition. I let out a sigh, as my eyes scanned the sky, revealing the almost peak of the twilight.
Jewel had always loved to watch the sunset; and together our moments were serene and surreal; something that I always enjoyed as long as her presence bore existences next to me. My eyes finally caught a glimpse of the tribe's current leader, my son.
Tiago's eyes were widened when he saw me on the branch, his beak possessed a frown and his face quickly radiated a concerned look. While I did appreciate his concern towards me; he made me like a weak and fragile macaw.
He fluttered next to me. "Dad! What are you doing out here? You could catch a cold." He said, concerned.
"I am not that weak, Tiago." I said, but my panting betrayed my denial.
"I've told you to just call Bia if you need anything." He stated, eyes glued on his father's tired state.
I shook my head. "No, I'm fine…" I said. "Besides the brazil nut grove isn't that far."
Tiago let out a sigh. "You can't eat those nuts again remember? Your beak will shatter if you eat them again."
"I'm just…" I sighed, "Really?"
Tiago was more than understand the reason why I kept choosing nuts over any other fruits. I never really liked nuts, but it was the one thing that kept reminded me of her, something that brought some little consolation over my weary and broken soul.
"I'll grab you some star fruits." He said, then squawking loudly to grab attention of the passing macaw, "Oh hey there Tiago! What's up?"
"Can you help me bring my Dad back to his hollow?" He asked. "He is tired and I need to grab some fruits for him."
The macaw scratched his head with his wing; his face was obvious that he would decline the request. "Uh… I'm sorry Tiago, but I need to get back to my family, the sunset almost reached its peak."
Tiago wasn't pleased with his answer; nonetheless, he nodded and urged him to go. He looked over to see another passing macaw, but none was bore existences. Tiago then dwelled into deep contemplation, he then walked towards me. "Dad, I want to take the star fruit, you stay here, okay?"
"Okay." I said simply; he then stretched his wing and soared into the jungle.
I was quite proud of him that he finally grew into a good, strong macaw. The exact opposite of what he was before. He also remembered Bia and Carla. While Bia still lived here in the Amazon, Carla took a step further and stayed in Rio. I missed my eldest daughter greatly; I might not be as close with her as I was with Bia – personality wise; still, she is my daughter, the one that I praised with joy when she was born.
I recalled the rush of happiness when her egg's shell finally cracking, revealing the chubby yet cute chicks inside, my eyes were tinted with tears as I named her along with Jewel; One of the biggest happiness in my life other than meeting Jewel.
But ever since she stayed in Rio, not a single year she returned to see his aged father, Bia told me that Carla was a superstar right now in Rio and her name floating into the clouds with adoration and praise from her fans. I was happy to hear that, yet saddened when Bia told me that she was too busy to return home.
I missed the time when the whole family was here to share joy and laugh, enjoying sunset as the whole family, exchanging some little rivalry or jokes among siblings. But all of them right now just a distant memory in the past, and my restless soul finally deteriorated with time.
Tiago's departure was felt like an eternity; the twilight was minutes on to reach its peak. He later returned with two yellow fruits on his talon. "Okay, let's go home." He said as he landed next to me. "Come on, Dad. Hop in."
I was confused with what he was saying, but he sensed my bewilderment quickly added. "Just hop on my back, I'll carry you home."
I nodded my head, and hopped on his wide back. "Ready, Dad?" he asked. "Yes." I answered. He began to flap his wing and soared into the twilight sky, the hues of blue and red adding more beauty to the golden ray in the horizon.
My ride on his back reminded me greatly on how many times he was riding on my back when he was a hatchling, and he remembered those times. I was greatly pleased with him, being a faithful son as he was; my heart was filled with delight in my dawn age, at least, if I'm going to die, I would be happy to know that my chicks had grown into awesome and good birds.
My tree residence finally within sight, Tiago gently landed in the entrance, slowly guiding me until I reached the hollow's floor. He set the yellow fruits aside. "Okay, Dad. I need to get back to the village. If you need anything, just call Bia, okay?"
I nodded my head again, giving him a big hug. "Thanks a lot, son." I said, my voice cracking. "Thank you for being here for this useless old bird."
Tiago was shedding some tears when he heard me saying that. "No, Dad. I am the one should be thankful that you gave me life, that you raise me with love." He embraced my hug. "You will never be a burden to me."
I flashed him a smile. "Thanks."
He wiped his tears, returning the smile. "You're welcome, Dad."
His departure left me once again with a deafening silence that blanketed me. I averted my gaze to the sky as I picked one of the star fruits and enjoyed the twilight at its peak.
I watch the night turn light blue, but something was missing… ah yes, the chat. Because it took two people to whisper quietly wasn't it?
The silence wasn't so bad, as I'd started to get used to it, but the moment I saw the gap in my wing where Jewel perfectly fit to cuddle against me, sadness swept over me.
I wasn't expecting her to be gone that fast, but then, I couldn't do anything to safe her. Ever since I know the disease was something unknown, pray was the only thing I was relied for her restoration. The once Amazon post was abandoned the moment Tulio's death was announced, therefore, Jewel's illness became an incurable disease. I still remembered her last word, the one that she told me how lucky she was to have someone like me by her side, and how much she loved me.
Fragments of our happy memories were the only thing that became a beacon for me to keep reminded of her, a cold nostalgia that chilled me to my core. While she was dead physically, in my heart, she still lives on, as love in my heart and as memories in my head.
I took a bite of the fruit, the juice was flavorful, and I let out a delighted sigh as I swallowed the fruit with a satisfying gulp, taking another bite.
The sunset was painting the twilight with extra hues today, splashing some more color from its pallet like a true artist, waving its brush to create a stoke of heaven on earth. The divine sight, however was quite incomplete without Jewel presence next to me. Oh how I was craving for her presence.
The twilight in the sky reminded me of my not-much-longer time as a bird, that I would likely reach mortality soon after some more days. I didn't afraid of death anymore, no. Mainly because it would finally brought me together with Jewel once more, to be reborn in the heaven and cherish my time with her for the eternity.
I recalled the last thing I did when they decided to bury her; I kissed her with all of my love for her, hoping such act would somehow resurrect her; my mind also flashed all the kiss we have shared for the rest of our life, until that day, the last kiss we would ever shared together.
I looked at the diamond blanket that already replaced the pastel hues before; my eyes searching for so many constellations that existed in the sky. A star represents a soul and constellation represents the connection of them. I spotted the one I picked random in the sky and named it with my family. Jewel already up there, shining brightly, and soon I would be shining next to her, watching our kids from up there for eternity.
Still, I had one last request before I closed my eyes for the last time, the one that I wanted all of my family here with me and spent the last twilight sunset together, laughing, joking, eating, chatting, anything.
Because I wanted to see them before I go and joined Jewel in the heaven.
When I get old…
When I get old, I'm no longer myself
Please understand, be patient with me.
When I spill my meal on my shirt
When I forget how to tie my shoe
Remember the time I taught you multiple times,
Guiding you until you succeed.
When I keep forgetting what I already said
And started to bore you
Be patient and listen to my words, don't cut it
Because, when you were little I have to repeat
A story that I've told you a thousand times
Until you lost within the fantasy.
When I need you to help me take a bath
Don't yell or frown at me
Remember how many times I tried to bath you.
When I become confused with new things
Don't laugh at me
Remember how patient I was to answer
Every "why" you asked me.
When my legs are too weak to walk by my own
Give me your youthful and strong hand to help me
As how I guided you to take your first step
Until you could walk on your own.
When I forget our chat before
Give me some time to remember it
Because the chat actually doesn't matter
As long as you there beside me to listen
I'm happy.
When you saw me grow grey hairs
don't be sad
understand and support me
just like how I did to you
When you learnt the lesson about this world.
I have guided you through this road
Now, accept me until the end of my life
Give me your affection and love
I will always accepted it with grateful smile
Because within that smile, hidden my unlimited love for you.
-A parent's hidden requests.
A/N: happy father's day. I know I'm late to the party but still I tried, hoped you like it.
don't forget that your parents risk everything for you, remember them, hug them, tell them how much you love them, you wouldn't be exist without them.
Thanks for reading.