Touga Must Die
As most people know, the gods are fickle. They can change their mind in a split second, which is about five hundred years for us, and they can also change it faster. Of course, most people don't know that one of the most fickle gods of all is the dean of a certain all-encompassing school. Ohtori Akio lay in his car, arms around the latest conquest of the latter. Very quickly, his fickle mind changed. He realized that Kiryuu Touga was of no use to him any more. He could get as much sex as he wanted, with any student in the school.. Well, practically. Arisugawa wouldn't give him more than a second look, but that really didn't matter much to him. Now that he had had Utena, Touga just wasn't of any use to him, as for manipulating her. Akio had his own methods for that, most of which would make Dr. Ruth blush. So, he picked up his cell phone, and called his sister.
Later that same night,
"What is it, Onii-sama?" Anthy asked. Akio smiled evilly.
"I need you to take off the Setokaichou spell.." he said. Anthy gasped.
"You mean that one?" she questioned. Akio nodded. Needless to say, Anthy was surprised. But, as she was used to her brother's fickleness, (one night he wanted chains, the next whips) and the fact that she hated Kiryuu Touga, she lifted the spell.
In the middle of the night, Kiryuu Nanami woke up and realized three things.. No, wait, she realized a hundred things. She pondered over these things in the night for a few moments, then got out of bed. She almost tripped over the curled up body lying in her way, which woke Mitsuru up. Then they both went out into the hall, called by a hate they finally remembered.
Also in the middle of the night, Arisugawa Juri and Kaoru Miki woke up. For some odd odd reason they were in the same bed, but what they do on their own time in Juri's own room was no business of this quiet otaku. They turned to look at each other, each running through their minds all the private jokes and insults that Kiryuu Touga had made that, for some reason, they all ignored. And, at the same time, they realized that just not voting for his side, was not doing either of them any good in the least.
And as well, in the middle of the night, Tenjou Utena woke up. She jumped out of bed, not daring to notice that Himemiya was not in her bed either, and stalked off, half asleep, but with a mission.
Finally, Saionji Kyouichi awoke. His eyes widened, then narrowed, then he laughed. Which, of course, woke up Shinohara Wakaba, who followed him as he left the room, both of them hurriedly putting on their clothes. ::ahem:: Riiiiiight. Of course, other people woke up in the middle of the night, realizing that they hated Touga, but most of them didn't hate him as much as these, and so, did not feel that call of 'Murder me! Murder me in my sleep!' coming from his general direction.
As these newfound Touga haters wandered to the Kiryuu mansion, they bumped into each other.
"OW!" Utena and Miki said in unison as they bumped into each other.
"Utena!" Miki said, surprised.
"Miki!" Utena said, even more surprised, "and.. Juri?" Utena really really tried to ignore the fact that they both looked a little.. Rumpled, but failed, and decided to just keep her mouth shut, "Why are you guys here?" she asked.
"We, um, we just decided. Well, it was the strangest thing.." Miki held up a dagger, "to murder Touga." Utena nodded, smiling.
"Oh, yeah, really? Me, too. Hm, that's a little odd." Juri blinked.
"Why would that be odd?" she asked. Utena shrugged.
"Well, I'm almost positive that we're not homicidal maniacs.. In fact, I thought the only homicidal maniac at Ohtori was.."
"Saionji!" Miki shouted, looking behind Utena. Utena nodded.
"Yes, exactly." She said. Behind her, someone 'ahem'ed. She turned,
"Oh, Saionji, hi! And. Wakaba?" Miki said, a little confused. They were a little rumpled as well, but Miki decided to ignore that. Then after he failed, he decided just to keep his mouth shut. His mind moved to other things. Juri, meanwhile, was hmphing, and fingering the lead pipe that was concealed somewhere in her outfit. She kind of noticed Miki was zoning out, and wondered what he was thinking about.....
"So, what possessed you to write such a stupid plot?" Miki asked the author, who was filing her nails in his daydream. She blew on them, and went back to filing.
"Well, I thought that since everyone seemed to put up with Touga's bastardly antics, the only reason for that would be because he's Akio's ho, and Akio wants to protect him." She said distantly.
"Ok, that makes sense, but why all the murdering stuff. I mean, we don't like him, but you can't just kill what annoys you!" he said. The author smiled, and ran over to him, attempting to smash him with her thumb. He sputtered, pushed her hand away and frowned, "That's another thing, what's with all the private jokes in stories like this?? Anyone who hadn't read Scream, would not get the noticed three things thing." He said. Then, at the mention of Scream, he paled. The author regarded him through slitted eyes.
"What's the matter, Miki-kun?" she asked smugly.
"I just realized one reason to murder Touga.." he said. The author smiled.
"Good. You get the wrench." She said. A wrench magically appeared in his hand, and he stared blankly at it.
Meanwhile, Juri was still wondering what Miki was thinking about, her speculation guiding her into fantasies of her own, then she decided to just shake him out of it, and ask him. She put her hands on his shoulders. He jumped.
"What were you thinking about, Mickey?" she asked. He smiled.
"Oh, nothing, just some girl." He said. Juri's eyebrow raised involuntarily. Utena had been glancing at Wakaba for the last few minutes, she was a little.. rumpled. Utena dismissed that thought, and asked,
"Why are you guys here?" Wakaba shrugged.
"I don't know, I guess we just sort of realized how much we wanted to- " the rest smiled and said in unison,
"Murder Touga!" except Saionji. He was blinking.
"You all hate Touga too?" he asked. The rest nodded. He smiled, "I thought I was all alone!" he said, eyes misty. Just then, Nanami and Mitsuru ran up. Utena blinked.
"Nanami? Mitsuru?" she said, confused. They looked rumpled, too, but it was common knowledge that Mitsuru slept on Nanami's floor like a dachshund. Juri blinked.
"What are you both doing here?" she asked. Nanami smiled in a superior manner.
"Well, I had just realized what a jerk my Onii-sama was to me, and how much I wanted to kill him, when I remembered that my parents keep all the weapons in our house, even the butter knives, under lock and key, so I went out to find a murder weapon." She said, holding up the revolver. The rest were more than a little amazed, but not about the weapons thing, about how everyone wanted to kill Touga.. No, wait, that wasn't it. It was how everyone wanted to kill Touga at this point in time, in the middle of the night, when they all could have killed Touga at a much earlier date. They pondered that one for a second, until they realized that they could all be killing Touga right now, and they ran into the Kiryuu mansion, searching out the red-headed bastard.
It was the middle of the night, and Kiryuu Touga was asleep. Everyone knows that Touga's sheets are a pitifully ugly fruity pink, but no one knows, except maybe his kitten, that he sleeps with a stuffed chu chu doll, and sucks his thumb. (perhaps it reminds him of something else..) In any case, that was what Kiryuu Touga was doing right now, and he was totally not expecting what was coming into his room. Suddenly, he woke up, and sat bolt upright in bed. He had just realized something.
Meanwhile, the ill-meaning horde of messed up people with various weapons, (Juri had the lead pipe, Miki had the wrench, Nanami had the revolver, Utena had the dagger as Miki had given it to her, Saionji had a noose, and Wakaba had a candlestick. Notice some sort of trend here?) made their way up to Touga's room with ill intentions on their minds. They were going to murder him, duh. They reached the room, and readied themselves around the bed. Utena stood, with her dagger raised. She threw off the sheets, and plunged the knife into. a stuffed chu chu doll? Well, it was almost as good as killing Touga, so the rest all took a turn, until the chu chu doll was no more than fluff strewn around the room, an earring, and a tie. They all gave each other high fives for that brilliant piece of murder practice, and sighed at the theraputic nature of killing chu chu in effigy. Then they remembered what they were there for.. (they were going to kill Touga.) They crept around to the corner. There, curled into a little fetal ball, was Touga. He was shaking, and so pitiful that they just had to ask him what was wrong before they murdered him.
"Touga, what's wrong?" Utena asked. Touga blinked at them, tears in his eyes.
"I don't know." he said, "Suddenly, I just woke up in the middle of the night, and realized how much I hated myself. I want me to die!" The entire rest of the room sweatdropped, looked at the now suicidal Touga, and sighed.
"You know what?" Utena said.
"What?" the rest said.
"I just can't kill someone so pathetic." The rest nodded, even Saionji. Miki brightened.
"Hey, now that he's so pathetic, maybe we don't need to kill him.." he said, smiling. The rest turned to him.
"Naniyo?" they asked.
"Yeah!" he said, "This is worse torture than any of us could bring onto him.." he said. Saionji nodded.
"Unless." he said thoughtfully, "we tore off his balls, and fed them to him raw on a silver platter.." he said. The rest nodded. Then paused.
"Anyone want to touch his balls?" Juri asked. Everyone shook their heads. They left the room, leaving the shaking Touga on the floor. He sighed in relief, and got up.
"Heh heh heh.." he thought, "They fell for it, hook, line, and sinker!" he grinned, and made his way, smiling, back to his bed. His face fell suddenly.
"NOOOOOOO!!!!" he screamed, "CHUUU CHUUU!!!" he said. He cried for a moment, then realized that he had another plushie, and brought out his Ryo- ohki plush. He cuddled it into his bed, sucking his thumb.
Meanwhile, outside the door,
"I still want to murder Touga." was the consensus. It had only brought them a little joy to hear Touga lament the loss of his beloved plushie. They still really wanted him to die! Or better yet.
"Let's torture him!" Saionji said, lightbulb flashing above his head. The rest liked that idea. They rushed into his room, and saw that he was asleep, not shaking or wussy or anything. They realized that they had been had, and so, quickly grabbed the sleeping Touga. He woke up, struggled, and screamed. The rest grimaced at the painfully, and sickeningly orgasmic scream, as was Touga's trademark, and then decided that that wouldn't really alert the Kiryuus, as they were used to Touga screaming in the night. Like that screaming anyway. They dragged Touga from the room, still kicking and screaming.
(Author's interlude: Touga By DragonGirl)
I met him at a dorm down in Ohtori/Where you drink random iced drinks just like Akio A-K-I-O Akio.
He walked up to me and he gave me a glance/I asked his name and in a bright red voice he said, "Touga"
like in T-O-G-A Touga, To To To Touga/Well, I'm not the world's most sensitive girl,
But when he touched my hair it made me wanna hurl/Oh that, Touga, To To To Touga
Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand/Why he always has to be such a bastardly man
Oh that, Touga, To To To Touga, To To To Touga
Well, we drew swords and had a duel, I'm sure he thought he was pretty cool,
He felt me up and took a slash, you see/and said, "Didn't your prince look just like me?"
Well, I'm not the world's most romantic girl, But when I found out that's how it was in this world,
I almost fell for that Touga, To To To Touga, To To To Touga/I pushed him away. I walked to the bride.
We said our goodbyes and I nearly died. I looked at him, and he at me.
Brides will be gods, and Princes will be girls/It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world,
all because of Touga. To To To Touga. To To To Touga.
Well, I felt now like a stupid girl, and I never ever thought it was like that before,
Touga smiled and took me by the hair/Wakaba said, "This normal's, not like the other one there."
Well I'm not the world's best swordfighter/ but I know what I am and that I'm a prince, and not Touga.
To To To Touga. To To To Touga. ~_^)
When the author's beautiful song was finished, we went back to the action, of course.
"NOOOOO!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!! HELP HELP, HE'S A PERVERT!!! AHH!! Noooo!!!" What? That's Touga's voice, but, saying that kind of thing? The door to the room opened, and Touga was revealed, cowering in open terror at a dark figure standing in the corner, "Stay away.. just stay away.." he said. The shadowy figure blinked and said in a familiar voice,
"Me? But I wouldn't hurt a fly!" Touga grimaced.
"Look, I've read enough lemons to know that's just not true!" he said.
"Come now, try me!" the shadowy figure said, advancing, "You don't know the real story.. There are things that go on behind that scenes. things that even the fanfic writers are too afraid to record." Touga shuddered at the utter thought. (Actually, the author shuddered too. She can't even imagine anything that horrible.)
"You get away from me!" Touga warned.
"But why?" the figure asked, "I won't hurt you. much. And, believe me, you won't mind." He stepped into the light to reveal the purple hair, one open eye, and glowing staff of Xelloss Metallium. He smirked, holding up the staff, "Let me show you what this is for.." He said, grinning like a madman.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Touga screeched. Juri, Miki, Utena, Wakaba, Saionji, Mitsuru, and Nanami sat in the room next to it, blinking in horror at the scene before them. Well, all but Juri. She was smiling.
"J-j-juri-sempai.." Miki stuttered, "Isn't this a little. harsh?" he asked, "I mean, won't it desensitize him to give him the worst punishment first?" he asked. Juri put a finger to her lips.
"Shhh." she said, pointing to the door.
"AHHHH!!!! NOOOO!!!" Touga screamed. Miki and the others cringed. Juri smiled,
"Don't worry, Mickey, the worst is yet to come.." she said, "we won't let him get off that easily." Juri smiled devilishly. Utena cowered. Saionji blinked at Juri.
"Wow, she's sadistic. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.." He said.
"Kyouichi. what will your punishment for him be?" Wakaba asked. Saionji smiled, evilly. Almost as evilly as Juri herself.
Moments later, after a certain priest had been sent packing back to his own realm..
"NOOO NOOO NOOO!!! THIS IS MUCH WORSE!!!" Touga screeched, "WHY DO YOU WISH TO TORTURE ME?? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU???" he asked. Everyone in the observation room sweatdropped.
"There's a poser." Miki said. Mitsuru blinked.
"Actually, he hasn't done anything to me.." he said.. Saionji rolled his eyes,
"Don't worry, he will.." he said. Juri shuddered, watching the action in the other room.
"I wouldn't wish THIS on anyone.." she said.
Miki smiled, "Too surreal for you.." he said.
Juri made a wry smile, "It would be a miracle if he came out sane.." she said.
Utena blinked, "I don't know, what's so bad about that?" she asked.
Juri and Saionji rolled their eyes, "You'll figure it out when your older.." they said in unison, and then looked at each other and frowned. Utena frowned too. She looked up, as the faint strains of,
"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family.." Came out through the non-sound-proof walls. She shuddered,
"I suppose your right.. it is sort of. hypnotically evil.." she murmured.
Wakaba nodded, "Even I'm not genki enough to be able to withstand that.." she said in agreement..
Utena blinked at Wakaba, "How're you going to torture him, Wakaba?" she asked curiously.
Wakaba smiled genkily, "Oh! I have an idea!!" She said, "We'll have to call in a few favors though."
And so.. after a few favors were called in..
"What now??" The battered and mind-weary Touga asked, frightened, "I'm really really sorry.."
"We don't believe you!" came a voice from the other side of the door, "Here comes your next torture!" A sliding door in the wall opened, and out ran shrilly screaming little creatures..
"You're our true love!" they screeched.
"Yeah! Go get 'im girls!" Wakaba shouted, as the chibi Wakabas swarmed over Touga like some type of insects..
"Nooooooooo!!" he shrieked, "They're everywhere!!!!" They swarmed over him, glomping onto every square inch of his body.. Wakaba gave a discreet high five to Xelloss, and he warped out, waving. The rest blinked at the poor screaming Touga..
Saionji smiled, "Whose next?" he asked.
Nanami raised her hand, "OHH! Me! I have a superb torture!" she said, "It's called operation Onii-sama doesn't love me, and is a big hentai weirdo." Tsuwabuki held up a folder marked, "Onii-sama doesn't love me, and is a big hentai weirdo." The rest sweadropped.
So then, after contacts were made, and people were flown in, and CD's were burned..
"We'll get him good this time.." Saionji murmured, "I commend you, Nanami.." he said.
Nanami smiled, "I know, I'm just too beautiful and wonderful to comprehend sometimes." she said.
Mitsuru pointed, "Look, it's starting!" he said. A dramatic buildup of music started..
Touga shuddered, and started to sweat profusely, "What now?" he asked. A door opened and a few figures walked in, "Who is it?" he asked, frightened,
"Your worst nightmare.." a voice said.
He blinked, "Where do I know that voice from?" he asked.
"You bought the CD, Kiryuu.. Now you'll pay." Touga's eyes widened as he recognized the voice..
"What a girl wants, what a girl needs, whatever makes you happy, and sets me free!" The music over the PA blared..
"Not just that.." said another voice, "We're all here."
"Backstreet's back, ALL RIGHT!!" said the speaker, "Bye bye bye!" Touga's eyes widened, and went dull.. His mouth opened slack, and he collapsed to the ground. The figures kept coming. and kept singing..
"Noooo! It's hypnotic! AUGH!!" Shouted Saionji, who was clutching his ears in agony. Utena curled up in a corner, with Wakaba, and shivered.
"DEATH BY BOYBAND!" Shouted Nanami, the only unaffected one. Miki and Juri stared at her in a sort of awe-stricken terror. Tsuwabuki curled his legs close to himself, and blinked in wide eyed fright at Nanami, and very soon, it was over.
"What next?" Nanami asked. No one answered..
"Noo.nooo.nooo. Need the strength.. To be strong.." Muttered Utena weakly. Her eyes were wide and staring.
"I must admit. It's killin me." Wakaba said, twitching..
"Help me Nanami-sama! I DON'T want it that way!!!" He ran around in circles like his hair was on fire.
"Great." Nanami said.
Thirty high priced psycho-fixy guys and a good CD for each of them later.
"All right. now that that's over." said Juri darkly, as she wiped off the Pepsi endorsement from her clothes, "And that Bob Dole is not coming anywhere near me ever again!" she shouted angrily, "What do we do next?" she asked.
"Well, only three people haven't tortured him yet.." Utena said, "Miki, Me, and Mitsuru. I want to save mine for last, so everyone else can go before me." she said.
Miki thought, "Well, mine is going to take a lot of preparation.." he mumbled.
Nanami nodded, "Good, then Tsuwabuki can go." She said, "Mitsuru!" she shouted. There was no answer. She frowned, "Mitsuru!" She shouted with a snap of her fingers..
Still no answer.
"MIT-SU-RU!!!" she screamed, and snapped her fingers as loud as she could. Mitsuru looked up..
"Like a bat outta hell." he was singing, "What?" he asked, like a child who had their hand caught in the cookie jar.
"Torture my Onii-sama!" she ordered.
"Um. Ok." he said, and then he thought for a moment, "How about I push him down the stairs.." he said.
"No, too unoriginal." Nanami dismissed.
"A flowerpot?" He queried.
"It's been done.." she said.
"Ooohhh, I have the best idea! And it'll give another one their revenge, too!" He said, and ran off, grinning.
Not too long later, in a magically conjured fighting ring..
"Iiiiiin this corner!" shouted Mitsuru, gesturing towards the red corner, "Our local bastard, the bane of most of our existences, barring Miki's sister. Kiryuu Touga!" He pointed at the corner, where Touga was struggling against the ropes that held him to the pole. Unfortunately, (for him anyway.) they were tied by the aforementioned Kozue, and so were impressively tight without being binding.
"Aaaaannnd in this corner!" Mitsuru continued, "The randomly placed animal champ of the world, also known as Fast Fists and Feet, The Awesome Aussie! The Kangaroo!" the Kangaroo chomped down on its mouthpiece for a moment, and knocked its gloves together.
"Let's get it on!" Mitsuru said, and jumped out of the ring.
"Ding ding!" shouted Miki, who was timing the round. The camera watched as the Kangaroo leapt up to Touga and stood there for a few seconds, shifting its weight from left to right. Then it decided to go.
"Ooooh.." Utena said, shielding her eyes. Wakaba stared.
"Owch.." Saionji said, wincing. The beating sounds were coming from off camera, and the torturers were being rained down on by stars and little curlicues and clouds of dust, and various other 'I'm in pain' signals.
Wakaba grinned, "Oooo, a star, pretty!" she said, and stuck it in her hair. She turned to Saionji, poutily, "How come I have to put this star in my hair.. Huh?" she asked.
"Uh." Saionji said, turning red.
"Because I." Wakaba prompted.
"Because I'm stupid?" Saionji asked, conscious that everyone was looking at him.
"No. Because I gave." Wakaba said.
"Because I gave your leaf away like a big insensitive jerk who doesn't understand what it means to have a great girl like you.." Saionji said, in surrender.
"That's right.." Wakaba said, "Now give us a smooch." She grinned. She kissed Saionji on the cheek. He was blushing. Each of the rest exchanged glances.
"What the heck?" seemed to be the consensus. By that time, however, Touga was little more than a compressed ball 'o pain, topped off with a flag of two gloves and a kangaroo mouthguard.
After three tubes of Neosporin, eight rabies shots, (Four to the buttocks and four to the spine) and some band-aids..
Touga regained consciousness in the same padded room. However, the light was stronger and sharper here, flickering and wavering and glowing. Touga's eyes weren't yet used to the light, so at that time, he couldn't tell what the source was. As the world lazily swam into focus, and his eyes got used to the light, Touga realized what the source of the strange light was. Perhaps a dozen television sets. The one directly in front of him showed a familiar face to him. It was Utena, smiling and waving at the camera. She walked away, and started to brush her hair. Touga twitched. That hair was just begging to be run through by his fingers. He turned away from it, and towards another. On that one, it showed Saionji at the kendo room, winning battles. Touga was surprised to see people come up and congratulate him.
"Why are they doing that? They can't still like him!" He protested. One of the kendoists slapped Saionji on the back in a friendly manner, and he smiled.
"SMILED!" Touga choked, starting to cough. He turned to another view. This one showed Nanami, sitting next to a moderately good looking guy. Her three friends were near her, and they were all laughing. They seemed to be at some sort of malt shop. The waitress came with a milkshake, and stuck two straws in it. Nanami and her boyfriend shared the drink, smiling, and looking into each other's eyes. Audio recording started, long enough for Touga to hear Nanami say,
"Oh, Daisuke, life is so fun with you that I don't even miss my Onii- sama at all!"
"WHA-AT?!" Touga shouted, "This is a dream! This must be a dream. Oh god, oh god, oh god." He turned away from the screen in horror, but all he could see was another screen. On this one was Miki, playing the piano for a group of smiling ladies. He stopped, and grinned at them, and they smiled back.
"Thanks, ladies. Now that you're not spending so much time with Touga, I think you're helping me to get back that shining thing that I've so been searching for." Miki said.
Touga's mouth hung open, "This. This doesn't make any sense! What the freakin heck!!!!"
Behind the darkened screen, Miki grinned, "Oh, this is priceless." He said.
Utena nodded, "You are quite awesome, Miki. I should have known that Touga would hate having to watch stuff happen to us without him being able to manipulate it to his evil plans. It's a sort of 'It's a Wonderful Life' kinda thing."
Juri snorted, "It would be a wonderful life, without Touga." She said.
Saionji turned from his hungry vigil on Touga's pain, "So, Utena. What's your torture going to be?"
Wakaba nodded, "Yeah, Utena, you implied that yours was going to be the worst." She said.
Nanami laughed evilly, "Oh, you're going to have to do really well to top all of ours, most of all mine!" she shouted, shaking her fist.
Utena steepled her fingers, "Oh, don't worry, mine is quite good." She grinned.
Some time later, in Touga's depressive sleep cycle.
"Touga. Oh, Touga.." Called a familiar voice to Touga..
Touga looked up, blinking tiredly, "Whaaaat?" he whined.
"Touga. I'm coming for you, Touga." called the voice.
"Utena?" Touga said, recognizing the voice.
"Yes, Touga.. It's me.. I'm coming, Touga.." Utena said, from the shadows.
"Utena! Oh, thank you, you're coming to rescue me! You're coming to set me free!" Touga said, almost crying with relief.
Utena grinned, "In a way.."
Touga frowned, "What do you mean?"
Utena stepped forward. She was wearing her normal uniform, and just looked.. generally.. normal.
Touga was doubtful now, "Wh.. What do you mean?"
Utena smiled blissfully, "Oh, Touga.. Thank you so much. It's all thanks to you!"
Touga frowned, "What is?"
Utena reached into the shadows, and led out Anthy, "Oh, Touga, you dueling me, and taking Anthy away made me realize."
Touga's eyes went wide, "No." he said futilely.
"It made me realize how much I really loved her. Thank you Touga, you showed me the truth. And now all I want to do is.. this!" she leaned Anthy back and kissed her, with tongue and everything.
Touga's eyes widened lecherously, and then he realized what this meant. He lifted his head up, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" he screamed.
Back in Touga's bed.
"Noo!" Touga shouted, sitting up, the sweat pouring off of him. He coughed as he remembered the dream.
"..The chick will die without being born.. We are the chick, the world is our egg. If we do not break the world's shell, we will die without ever truly being born. Smash the-" there was a click as Touga reached up to turn off the tape player.
He rubbed his sweaty face with his hands, "Oh god.. Maybe I shouldn't go to sleep with that on anymore." He said.
He looked straight ahead in the dark room, "Damn.. Maybe I should start being less of a bastard. Lord knows I don't want that to happen.." He said to himself, turning over in his bed.
Author's note: All right, who saw that one coming? ::notes raised hands:: Thank you. Anyway. This was started when I really really wanted to kill Touga.. But then I realized that. He's a fictional character, and I can't kill him, so why get all bent out of shape because of it? I can write off all inconsistencies as part of "it's Touga's dream" except for grammar errors, and I tried to keep those to a minimum. Oh, by the way, I don't see Juri and Miki, Wakaba and Saionji, Utena and Anthy, or Nanami and Mitsuru as viable couples. All of them have some fatal flaw. Oh, and my song is not too awesome, but still very cool. In any case, I hope you enjoyed my little romp through the world of fantasy.. Mine mostly. I hope you weren't too scared of it. And maybe those who hate Touga, can email me at DragonGirl17@Aol.com, and tell me about it. JA NE!!!
As most people know, the gods are fickle. They can change their mind in a split second, which is about five hundred years for us, and they can also change it faster. Of course, most people don't know that one of the most fickle gods of all is the dean of a certain all-encompassing school. Ohtori Akio lay in his car, arms around the latest conquest of the latter. Very quickly, his fickle mind changed. He realized that Kiryuu Touga was of no use to him any more. He could get as much sex as he wanted, with any student in the school.. Well, practically. Arisugawa wouldn't give him more than a second look, but that really didn't matter much to him. Now that he had had Utena, Touga just wasn't of any use to him, as for manipulating her. Akio had his own methods for that, most of which would make Dr. Ruth blush. So, he picked up his cell phone, and called his sister.
Later that same night,
"What is it, Onii-sama?" Anthy asked. Akio smiled evilly.
"I need you to take off the Setokaichou spell.." he said. Anthy gasped.
"You mean that one?" she questioned. Akio nodded. Needless to say, Anthy was surprised. But, as she was used to her brother's fickleness, (one night he wanted chains, the next whips) and the fact that she hated Kiryuu Touga, she lifted the spell.
In the middle of the night, Kiryuu Nanami woke up and realized three things.. No, wait, she realized a hundred things. She pondered over these things in the night for a few moments, then got out of bed. She almost tripped over the curled up body lying in her way, which woke Mitsuru up. Then they both went out into the hall, called by a hate they finally remembered.
Also in the middle of the night, Arisugawa Juri and Kaoru Miki woke up. For some odd odd reason they were in the same bed, but what they do on their own time in Juri's own room was no business of this quiet otaku. They turned to look at each other, each running through their minds all the private jokes and insults that Kiryuu Touga had made that, for some reason, they all ignored. And, at the same time, they realized that just not voting for his side, was not doing either of them any good in the least.
And as well, in the middle of the night, Tenjou Utena woke up. She jumped out of bed, not daring to notice that Himemiya was not in her bed either, and stalked off, half asleep, but with a mission.
Finally, Saionji Kyouichi awoke. His eyes widened, then narrowed, then he laughed. Which, of course, woke up Shinohara Wakaba, who followed him as he left the room, both of them hurriedly putting on their clothes. ::ahem:: Riiiiiight. Of course, other people woke up in the middle of the night, realizing that they hated Touga, but most of them didn't hate him as much as these, and so, did not feel that call of 'Murder me! Murder me in my sleep!' coming from his general direction.
As these newfound Touga haters wandered to the Kiryuu mansion, they bumped into each other.
"OW!" Utena and Miki said in unison as they bumped into each other.
"Utena!" Miki said, surprised.
"Miki!" Utena said, even more surprised, "and.. Juri?" Utena really really tried to ignore the fact that they both looked a little.. Rumpled, but failed, and decided to just keep her mouth shut, "Why are you guys here?" she asked.
"We, um, we just decided. Well, it was the strangest thing.." Miki held up a dagger, "to murder Touga." Utena nodded, smiling.
"Oh, yeah, really? Me, too. Hm, that's a little odd." Juri blinked.
"Why would that be odd?" she asked. Utena shrugged.
"Well, I'm almost positive that we're not homicidal maniacs.. In fact, I thought the only homicidal maniac at Ohtori was.."
"Saionji!" Miki shouted, looking behind Utena. Utena nodded.
"Yes, exactly." She said. Behind her, someone 'ahem'ed. She turned,
"Oh, Saionji, hi! And. Wakaba?" Miki said, a little confused. They were a little rumpled as well, but Miki decided to ignore that. Then after he failed, he decided just to keep his mouth shut. His mind moved to other things. Juri, meanwhile, was hmphing, and fingering the lead pipe that was concealed somewhere in her outfit. She kind of noticed Miki was zoning out, and wondered what he was thinking about.....
"So, what possessed you to write such a stupid plot?" Miki asked the author, who was filing her nails in his daydream. She blew on them, and went back to filing.
"Well, I thought that since everyone seemed to put up with Touga's bastardly antics, the only reason for that would be because he's Akio's ho, and Akio wants to protect him." She said distantly.
"Ok, that makes sense, but why all the murdering stuff. I mean, we don't like him, but you can't just kill what annoys you!" he said. The author smiled, and ran over to him, attempting to smash him with her thumb. He sputtered, pushed her hand away and frowned, "That's another thing, what's with all the private jokes in stories like this?? Anyone who hadn't read Scream, would not get the noticed three things thing." He said. Then, at the mention of Scream, he paled. The author regarded him through slitted eyes.
"What's the matter, Miki-kun?" she asked smugly.
"I just realized one reason to murder Touga.." he said. The author smiled.
"Good. You get the wrench." She said. A wrench magically appeared in his hand, and he stared blankly at it.
Meanwhile, Juri was still wondering what Miki was thinking about, her speculation guiding her into fantasies of her own, then she decided to just shake him out of it, and ask him. She put her hands on his shoulders. He jumped.
"What were you thinking about, Mickey?" she asked. He smiled.
"Oh, nothing, just some girl." He said. Juri's eyebrow raised involuntarily. Utena had been glancing at Wakaba for the last few minutes, she was a little.. rumpled. Utena dismissed that thought, and asked,
"Why are you guys here?" Wakaba shrugged.
"I don't know, I guess we just sort of realized how much we wanted to- " the rest smiled and said in unison,
"Murder Touga!" except Saionji. He was blinking.
"You all hate Touga too?" he asked. The rest nodded. He smiled, "I thought I was all alone!" he said, eyes misty. Just then, Nanami and Mitsuru ran up. Utena blinked.
"Nanami? Mitsuru?" she said, confused. They looked rumpled, too, but it was common knowledge that Mitsuru slept on Nanami's floor like a dachshund. Juri blinked.
"What are you both doing here?" she asked. Nanami smiled in a superior manner.
"Well, I had just realized what a jerk my Onii-sama was to me, and how much I wanted to kill him, when I remembered that my parents keep all the weapons in our house, even the butter knives, under lock and key, so I went out to find a murder weapon." She said, holding up the revolver. The rest were more than a little amazed, but not about the weapons thing, about how everyone wanted to kill Touga.. No, wait, that wasn't it. It was how everyone wanted to kill Touga at this point in time, in the middle of the night, when they all could have killed Touga at a much earlier date. They pondered that one for a second, until they realized that they could all be killing Touga right now, and they ran into the Kiryuu mansion, searching out the red-headed bastard.
It was the middle of the night, and Kiryuu Touga was asleep. Everyone knows that Touga's sheets are a pitifully ugly fruity pink, but no one knows, except maybe his kitten, that he sleeps with a stuffed chu chu doll, and sucks his thumb. (perhaps it reminds him of something else..) In any case, that was what Kiryuu Touga was doing right now, and he was totally not expecting what was coming into his room. Suddenly, he woke up, and sat bolt upright in bed. He had just realized something.
Meanwhile, the ill-meaning horde of messed up people with various weapons, (Juri had the lead pipe, Miki had the wrench, Nanami had the revolver, Utena had the dagger as Miki had given it to her, Saionji had a noose, and Wakaba had a candlestick. Notice some sort of trend here?) made their way up to Touga's room with ill intentions on their minds. They were going to murder him, duh. They reached the room, and readied themselves around the bed. Utena stood, with her dagger raised. She threw off the sheets, and plunged the knife into. a stuffed chu chu doll? Well, it was almost as good as killing Touga, so the rest all took a turn, until the chu chu doll was no more than fluff strewn around the room, an earring, and a tie. They all gave each other high fives for that brilliant piece of murder practice, and sighed at the theraputic nature of killing chu chu in effigy. Then they remembered what they were there for.. (they were going to kill Touga.) They crept around to the corner. There, curled into a little fetal ball, was Touga. He was shaking, and so pitiful that they just had to ask him what was wrong before they murdered him.
"Touga, what's wrong?" Utena asked. Touga blinked at them, tears in his eyes.
"I don't know." he said, "Suddenly, I just woke up in the middle of the night, and realized how much I hated myself. I want me to die!" The entire rest of the room sweatdropped, looked at the now suicidal Touga, and sighed.
"You know what?" Utena said.
"What?" the rest said.
"I just can't kill someone so pathetic." The rest nodded, even Saionji. Miki brightened.
"Hey, now that he's so pathetic, maybe we don't need to kill him.." he said, smiling. The rest turned to him.
"Naniyo?" they asked.
"Yeah!" he said, "This is worse torture than any of us could bring onto him.." he said. Saionji nodded.
"Unless." he said thoughtfully, "we tore off his balls, and fed them to him raw on a silver platter.." he said. The rest nodded. Then paused.
"Anyone want to touch his balls?" Juri asked. Everyone shook their heads. They left the room, leaving the shaking Touga on the floor. He sighed in relief, and got up.
"Heh heh heh.." he thought, "They fell for it, hook, line, and sinker!" he grinned, and made his way, smiling, back to his bed. His face fell suddenly.
"NOOOOOOO!!!!" he screamed, "CHUUU CHUUU!!!" he said. He cried for a moment, then realized that he had another plushie, and brought out his Ryo- ohki plush. He cuddled it into his bed, sucking his thumb.
Meanwhile, outside the door,
"I still want to murder Touga." was the consensus. It had only brought them a little joy to hear Touga lament the loss of his beloved plushie. They still really wanted him to die! Or better yet.
"Let's torture him!" Saionji said, lightbulb flashing above his head. The rest liked that idea. They rushed into his room, and saw that he was asleep, not shaking or wussy or anything. They realized that they had been had, and so, quickly grabbed the sleeping Touga. He woke up, struggled, and screamed. The rest grimaced at the painfully, and sickeningly orgasmic scream, as was Touga's trademark, and then decided that that wouldn't really alert the Kiryuus, as they were used to Touga screaming in the night. Like that screaming anyway. They dragged Touga from the room, still kicking and screaming.
(Author's interlude: Touga By DragonGirl)
I met him at a dorm down in Ohtori/Where you drink random iced drinks just like Akio A-K-I-O Akio.
He walked up to me and he gave me a glance/I asked his name and in a bright red voice he said, "Touga"
like in T-O-G-A Touga, To To To Touga/Well, I'm not the world's most sensitive girl,
But when he touched my hair it made me wanna hurl/Oh that, Touga, To To To Touga
Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand/Why he always has to be such a bastardly man
Oh that, Touga, To To To Touga, To To To Touga
Well, we drew swords and had a duel, I'm sure he thought he was pretty cool,
He felt me up and took a slash, you see/and said, "Didn't your prince look just like me?"
Well, I'm not the world's most romantic girl, But when I found out that's how it was in this world,
I almost fell for that Touga, To To To Touga, To To To Touga/I pushed him away. I walked to the bride.
We said our goodbyes and I nearly died. I looked at him, and he at me.
Brides will be gods, and Princes will be girls/It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world,
all because of Touga. To To To Touga. To To To Touga.
Well, I felt now like a stupid girl, and I never ever thought it was like that before,
Touga smiled and took me by the hair/Wakaba said, "This normal's, not like the other one there."
Well I'm not the world's best swordfighter/ but I know what I am and that I'm a prince, and not Touga.
To To To Touga. To To To Touga. ~_^)
When the author's beautiful song was finished, we went back to the action, of course.
"NOOOOO!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!! HELP HELP, HE'S A PERVERT!!! AHH!! Noooo!!!" What? That's Touga's voice, but, saying that kind of thing? The door to the room opened, and Touga was revealed, cowering in open terror at a dark figure standing in the corner, "Stay away.. just stay away.." he said. The shadowy figure blinked and said in a familiar voice,
"Me? But I wouldn't hurt a fly!" Touga grimaced.
"Look, I've read enough lemons to know that's just not true!" he said.
"Come now, try me!" the shadowy figure said, advancing, "You don't know the real story.. There are things that go on behind that scenes. things that even the fanfic writers are too afraid to record." Touga shuddered at the utter thought. (Actually, the author shuddered too. She can't even imagine anything that horrible.)
"You get away from me!" Touga warned.
"But why?" the figure asked, "I won't hurt you. much. And, believe me, you won't mind." He stepped into the light to reveal the purple hair, one open eye, and glowing staff of Xelloss Metallium. He smirked, holding up the staff, "Let me show you what this is for.." He said, grinning like a madman.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Touga screeched. Juri, Miki, Utena, Wakaba, Saionji, Mitsuru, and Nanami sat in the room next to it, blinking in horror at the scene before them. Well, all but Juri. She was smiling.
"J-j-juri-sempai.." Miki stuttered, "Isn't this a little. harsh?" he asked, "I mean, won't it desensitize him to give him the worst punishment first?" he asked. Juri put a finger to her lips.
"Shhh." she said, pointing to the door.
"AHHHH!!!! NOOOO!!!" Touga screamed. Miki and the others cringed. Juri smiled,
"Don't worry, Mickey, the worst is yet to come.." she said, "we won't let him get off that easily." Juri smiled devilishly. Utena cowered. Saionji blinked at Juri.
"Wow, she's sadistic. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.." He said.
"Kyouichi. what will your punishment for him be?" Wakaba asked. Saionji smiled, evilly. Almost as evilly as Juri herself.
Moments later, after a certain priest had been sent packing back to his own realm..
"NOOO NOOO NOOO!!! THIS IS MUCH WORSE!!!" Touga screeched, "WHY DO YOU WISH TO TORTURE ME?? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU???" he asked. Everyone in the observation room sweatdropped.
"There's a poser." Miki said. Mitsuru blinked.
"Actually, he hasn't done anything to me.." he said.. Saionji rolled his eyes,
"Don't worry, he will.." he said. Juri shuddered, watching the action in the other room.
"I wouldn't wish THIS on anyone.." she said.
Miki smiled, "Too surreal for you.." he said.
Juri made a wry smile, "It would be a miracle if he came out sane.." she said.
Utena blinked, "I don't know, what's so bad about that?" she asked.
Juri and Saionji rolled their eyes, "You'll figure it out when your older.." they said in unison, and then looked at each other and frowned. Utena frowned too. She looked up, as the faint strains of,
"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family.." Came out through the non-sound-proof walls. She shuddered,
"I suppose your right.. it is sort of. hypnotically evil.." she murmured.
Wakaba nodded, "Even I'm not genki enough to be able to withstand that.." she said in agreement..
Utena blinked at Wakaba, "How're you going to torture him, Wakaba?" she asked curiously.
Wakaba smiled genkily, "Oh! I have an idea!!" She said, "We'll have to call in a few favors though."
And so.. after a few favors were called in..
"What now??" The battered and mind-weary Touga asked, frightened, "I'm really really sorry.."
"We don't believe you!" came a voice from the other side of the door, "Here comes your next torture!" A sliding door in the wall opened, and out ran shrilly screaming little creatures..
"You're our true love!" they screeched.
"Yeah! Go get 'im girls!" Wakaba shouted, as the chibi Wakabas swarmed over Touga like some type of insects..
"Nooooooooo!!" he shrieked, "They're everywhere!!!!" They swarmed over him, glomping onto every square inch of his body.. Wakaba gave a discreet high five to Xelloss, and he warped out, waving. The rest blinked at the poor screaming Touga..
Saionji smiled, "Whose next?" he asked.
Nanami raised her hand, "OHH! Me! I have a superb torture!" she said, "It's called operation Onii-sama doesn't love me, and is a big hentai weirdo." Tsuwabuki held up a folder marked, "Onii-sama doesn't love me, and is a big hentai weirdo." The rest sweadropped.
So then, after contacts were made, and people were flown in, and CD's were burned..
"We'll get him good this time.." Saionji murmured, "I commend you, Nanami.." he said.
Nanami smiled, "I know, I'm just too beautiful and wonderful to comprehend sometimes." she said.
Mitsuru pointed, "Look, it's starting!" he said. A dramatic buildup of music started..
Touga shuddered, and started to sweat profusely, "What now?" he asked. A door opened and a few figures walked in, "Who is it?" he asked, frightened,
"Your worst nightmare.." a voice said.
He blinked, "Where do I know that voice from?" he asked.
"You bought the CD, Kiryuu.. Now you'll pay." Touga's eyes widened as he recognized the voice..
"What a girl wants, what a girl needs, whatever makes you happy, and sets me free!" The music over the PA blared..
"Not just that.." said another voice, "We're all here."
"Backstreet's back, ALL RIGHT!!" said the speaker, "Bye bye bye!" Touga's eyes widened, and went dull.. His mouth opened slack, and he collapsed to the ground. The figures kept coming. and kept singing..
"Noooo! It's hypnotic! AUGH!!" Shouted Saionji, who was clutching his ears in agony. Utena curled up in a corner, with Wakaba, and shivered.
"DEATH BY BOYBAND!" Shouted Nanami, the only unaffected one. Miki and Juri stared at her in a sort of awe-stricken terror. Tsuwabuki curled his legs close to himself, and blinked in wide eyed fright at Nanami, and very soon, it was over.
"What next?" Nanami asked. No one answered..
"Noo.nooo.nooo. Need the strength.. To be strong.." Muttered Utena weakly. Her eyes were wide and staring.
"I must admit. It's killin me." Wakaba said, twitching..
"Help me Nanami-sama! I DON'T want it that way!!!" He ran around in circles like his hair was on fire.
"Great." Nanami said.
Thirty high priced psycho-fixy guys and a good CD for each of them later.
"All right. now that that's over." said Juri darkly, as she wiped off the Pepsi endorsement from her clothes, "And that Bob Dole is not coming anywhere near me ever again!" she shouted angrily, "What do we do next?" she asked.
"Well, only three people haven't tortured him yet.." Utena said, "Miki, Me, and Mitsuru. I want to save mine for last, so everyone else can go before me." she said.
Miki thought, "Well, mine is going to take a lot of preparation.." he mumbled.
Nanami nodded, "Good, then Tsuwabuki can go." She said, "Mitsuru!" she shouted. There was no answer. She frowned, "Mitsuru!" She shouted with a snap of her fingers..
Still no answer.
"MIT-SU-RU!!!" she screamed, and snapped her fingers as loud as she could. Mitsuru looked up..
"Like a bat outta hell." he was singing, "What?" he asked, like a child who had their hand caught in the cookie jar.
"Torture my Onii-sama!" she ordered.
"Um. Ok." he said, and then he thought for a moment, "How about I push him down the stairs.." he said.
"No, too unoriginal." Nanami dismissed.
"A flowerpot?" He queried.
"It's been done.." she said.
"Ooohhh, I have the best idea! And it'll give another one their revenge, too!" He said, and ran off, grinning.
Not too long later, in a magically conjured fighting ring..
"Iiiiiin this corner!" shouted Mitsuru, gesturing towards the red corner, "Our local bastard, the bane of most of our existences, barring Miki's sister. Kiryuu Touga!" He pointed at the corner, where Touga was struggling against the ropes that held him to the pole. Unfortunately, (for him anyway.) they were tied by the aforementioned Kozue, and so were impressively tight without being binding.
"Aaaaannnd in this corner!" Mitsuru continued, "The randomly placed animal champ of the world, also known as Fast Fists and Feet, The Awesome Aussie! The Kangaroo!" the Kangaroo chomped down on its mouthpiece for a moment, and knocked its gloves together.
"Let's get it on!" Mitsuru said, and jumped out of the ring.
"Ding ding!" shouted Miki, who was timing the round. The camera watched as the Kangaroo leapt up to Touga and stood there for a few seconds, shifting its weight from left to right. Then it decided to go.
"Ooooh.." Utena said, shielding her eyes. Wakaba stared.
"Owch.." Saionji said, wincing. The beating sounds were coming from off camera, and the torturers were being rained down on by stars and little curlicues and clouds of dust, and various other 'I'm in pain' signals.
Wakaba grinned, "Oooo, a star, pretty!" she said, and stuck it in her hair. She turned to Saionji, poutily, "How come I have to put this star in my hair.. Huh?" she asked.
"Uh." Saionji said, turning red.
"Because I." Wakaba prompted.
"Because I'm stupid?" Saionji asked, conscious that everyone was looking at him.
"No. Because I gave." Wakaba said.
"Because I gave your leaf away like a big insensitive jerk who doesn't understand what it means to have a great girl like you.." Saionji said, in surrender.
"That's right.." Wakaba said, "Now give us a smooch." She grinned. She kissed Saionji on the cheek. He was blushing. Each of the rest exchanged glances.
"What the heck?" seemed to be the consensus. By that time, however, Touga was little more than a compressed ball 'o pain, topped off with a flag of two gloves and a kangaroo mouthguard.
After three tubes of Neosporin, eight rabies shots, (Four to the buttocks and four to the spine) and some band-aids..
Touga regained consciousness in the same padded room. However, the light was stronger and sharper here, flickering and wavering and glowing. Touga's eyes weren't yet used to the light, so at that time, he couldn't tell what the source was. As the world lazily swam into focus, and his eyes got used to the light, Touga realized what the source of the strange light was. Perhaps a dozen television sets. The one directly in front of him showed a familiar face to him. It was Utena, smiling and waving at the camera. She walked away, and started to brush her hair. Touga twitched. That hair was just begging to be run through by his fingers. He turned away from it, and towards another. On that one, it showed Saionji at the kendo room, winning battles. Touga was surprised to see people come up and congratulate him.
"Why are they doing that? They can't still like him!" He protested. One of the kendoists slapped Saionji on the back in a friendly manner, and he smiled.
"SMILED!" Touga choked, starting to cough. He turned to another view. This one showed Nanami, sitting next to a moderately good looking guy. Her three friends were near her, and they were all laughing. They seemed to be at some sort of malt shop. The waitress came with a milkshake, and stuck two straws in it. Nanami and her boyfriend shared the drink, smiling, and looking into each other's eyes. Audio recording started, long enough for Touga to hear Nanami say,
"Oh, Daisuke, life is so fun with you that I don't even miss my Onii- sama at all!"
"WHA-AT?!" Touga shouted, "This is a dream! This must be a dream. Oh god, oh god, oh god." He turned away from the screen in horror, but all he could see was another screen. On this one was Miki, playing the piano for a group of smiling ladies. He stopped, and grinned at them, and they smiled back.
"Thanks, ladies. Now that you're not spending so much time with Touga, I think you're helping me to get back that shining thing that I've so been searching for." Miki said.
Touga's mouth hung open, "This. This doesn't make any sense! What the freakin heck!!!!"
Behind the darkened screen, Miki grinned, "Oh, this is priceless." He said.
Utena nodded, "You are quite awesome, Miki. I should have known that Touga would hate having to watch stuff happen to us without him being able to manipulate it to his evil plans. It's a sort of 'It's a Wonderful Life' kinda thing."
Juri snorted, "It would be a wonderful life, without Touga." She said.
Saionji turned from his hungry vigil on Touga's pain, "So, Utena. What's your torture going to be?"
Wakaba nodded, "Yeah, Utena, you implied that yours was going to be the worst." She said.
Nanami laughed evilly, "Oh, you're going to have to do really well to top all of ours, most of all mine!" she shouted, shaking her fist.
Utena steepled her fingers, "Oh, don't worry, mine is quite good." She grinned.
Some time later, in Touga's depressive sleep cycle.
"Touga. Oh, Touga.." Called a familiar voice to Touga..
Touga looked up, blinking tiredly, "Whaaaat?" he whined.
"Touga. I'm coming for you, Touga." called the voice.
"Utena?" Touga said, recognizing the voice.
"Yes, Touga.. It's me.. I'm coming, Touga.." Utena said, from the shadows.
"Utena! Oh, thank you, you're coming to rescue me! You're coming to set me free!" Touga said, almost crying with relief.
Utena grinned, "In a way.."
Touga frowned, "What do you mean?"
Utena stepped forward. She was wearing her normal uniform, and just looked.. generally.. normal.
Touga was doubtful now, "Wh.. What do you mean?"
Utena smiled blissfully, "Oh, Touga.. Thank you so much. It's all thanks to you!"
Touga frowned, "What is?"
Utena reached into the shadows, and led out Anthy, "Oh, Touga, you dueling me, and taking Anthy away made me realize."
Touga's eyes went wide, "No." he said futilely.
"It made me realize how much I really loved her. Thank you Touga, you showed me the truth. And now all I want to do is.. this!" she leaned Anthy back and kissed her, with tongue and everything.
Touga's eyes widened lecherously, and then he realized what this meant. He lifted his head up, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" he screamed.
Back in Touga's bed.
"Noo!" Touga shouted, sitting up, the sweat pouring off of him. He coughed as he remembered the dream.
"..The chick will die without being born.. We are the chick, the world is our egg. If we do not break the world's shell, we will die without ever truly being born. Smash the-" there was a click as Touga reached up to turn off the tape player.
He rubbed his sweaty face with his hands, "Oh god.. Maybe I shouldn't go to sleep with that on anymore." He said.
He looked straight ahead in the dark room, "Damn.. Maybe I should start being less of a bastard. Lord knows I don't want that to happen.." He said to himself, turning over in his bed.
Author's note: All right, who saw that one coming? ::notes raised hands:: Thank you. Anyway. This was started when I really really wanted to kill Touga.. But then I realized that. He's a fictional character, and I can't kill him, so why get all bent out of shape because of it? I can write off all inconsistencies as part of "it's Touga's dream" except for grammar errors, and I tried to keep those to a minimum. Oh, by the way, I don't see Juri and Miki, Wakaba and Saionji, Utena and Anthy, or Nanami and Mitsuru as viable couples. All of them have some fatal flaw. Oh, and my song is not too awesome, but still very cool. In any case, I hope you enjoyed my little romp through the world of fantasy.. Mine mostly. I hope you weren't too scared of it. And maybe those who hate Touga, can email me at DragonGirl17@Aol.com, and tell me about it. JA NE!!!