Summary: (Kes&T) Kes and B'Elanna talk about the events of Sakari Prime. Set during Blood Fever. Rated PG.
This story was written for capitainejuliette on Tumblr, who asked for a story about "that time when Kes and B'Elanna bonded over being the only one of their species around." This was part of mylittleredgirl's fanfic challenge.
As always, many thanks to RSB for hand holding and bouncing ideas with me. Also thanks to Delwin for betaing and Photogirl1890 for catching typos.
The Way We Are
B'Elanna sat on the top of a cliff, her feet dangling over the edge. Far below, waves crashed against the rocks, creating a calming, rhythmic sound. The wind whipped her hair, stinging as it came in contact with her face. She tried to tuck her hair behind her ears, only to have a gust dislodge it. Of course, she could have just asked the computer to decrease the wind. But then it wouldn't be the way she remembered it.
Leaning on her palms, divested of her jacket and turtleneck, she closed her eyes and let the rays of the sun replace the warmth the ocean breeze removed. Her body cried for her to get up and walk the path to the beach. To remove the remainder of her uniform and swim in the turquoise water. But her mind just wanted to do… nothing.
In the middle of her inner battle, she heard the holodeck doors open and shut. She cursed silently that she had not engaged the privacy lock. She really didn't want to have to answer questions about what happened or have yet another person ask if she was okay.
She was fine.
"You've been avoiding me," a soft voice called out. B'Elanna knew it was Kes without having to open her eyes.
"Yes," she replied simply.
"You know if you don't come in for your follow ups, the Doctor will come after you. And he almost relishes doing that, now that he has the emitter."
B'Elanna nearly cracked a smile at the last comment. The gravel crunched and B'Elanna knew Kes was sitting down next to her. She continued to sit motionless with her eyes shut. Maybe, just maybe, if she was still, Kes would go away.
"This place is beautiful. Where is it?"
"Kessik IV," she replied.
"I don't think I've heard the crew talk about that planet. Is it near Earth?"
B'Elanna knew what Kes actually wanted to know: why did you go through the time and effort to recreate this place? Not feeling like playing some strange form of 20 questions, B'Elanna cut to the chase.
"Not really. This is my home world. My parents chose it in part because it was about halfway between Earth and Qo'noS." She let out a wry chuckle. "Just like me, a strange mixture of human and Klingon."
"It looks like a nice mixture," Kes replied.
"Looks can be deceiving."
A long paused followed as the two looked out at the water. B'Elanna had just dared to hope that she had effectively shut down the conversation when Kes spoke again. "Do you want to talk about it?"
There was no need to define 'it'. B'Elanna's mind immediately flashed to the day before. She saw herself throwing Tom on the ground and straddling him. She remembered the feel of his hot breath on her neck, her teeth on his skin… Just what she came here to try to forget.
"No."
Kes continued, undaunted. "Have you talked with anyone about it? Maybe Tom?"
B'Elanna turned her head, a look of surprised disgust crossing her face. "He is the last person I want to talk to right now."
Drawing her legs up, B'Elanna rested her forehead on her knees. She could remember Tom setting her down on the biobed and telling Kes she needed help. As she drifted off to sleep, he was giving his report to the Doctor as Kes began to heal her wounds. Faint in her memory, she could feel him squeezing her hand and telling her it would be okay. But did this even happen? Or was it just wishful thinking, conjured by her Pon Farr-addled mind?
What she knew for sure was, when she woke up, he was gone and she hadn't seen him since. All she had now were her memories of how she had acted. How she had assaulted him and tried to push him into having sex with her.
"B'Elanna…" Kes' voice interrupted her dark thoughts.
"You wouldn't understand."
"I wouldn't understand what? That you," Kes paused, seeming to search for the correct words, "and he are close?"
"It's not that," B'Elanna murmured. As if we can ever be close again after this mess...
"Then what?"
B'Elanna lifted her head to look Kes in the eye. "Well, on top of throwing myself at him repeatedly, I just… I acted so Klingon."
"You are Klingon."
"But Tom isn't! And neither is anyone else! Hell, I'm not even fully Klingon! And I've never acted like that before!"
A long pause followed her outburst. B'Elanna sighed as she watched Kes shift uncomfortably. As usual, her Klingon nature was driving people away. First her father. Now Tom and Kes.
"Maybe it was the Pon Farr changing your behavior?" Kes ventured.
Resting her head on her knees again, B'Elanna mumbled, "Vulcans don't bite each other. I did that because I'm Klingon." A moment passed before she continued. "And that makes me feel…" B'Elanna trailed off, not quite knowing how to finish the thought.
"Different?" When B'Elanna failed to respond, Kes continued, "I know how you feel."
B'Elanna's head snapped up at that. "How would you know how I feel?" she demanded.
Their eyes met for a long moment before Kes looked away, turning her attention to the crashing waves. "When I went through the false elogium last year… there was no one else who could appreciate what was happening to me. It really hit me how I was the only Ocampa on board." She turned her attention back to B'Elanna. "So I understand what it means to feel… different. To think that no one understands." Another moment passed. "So you can tell me. I may not 'understand', but I can empathize."
B'Elanna stared out into the ocean, unable to look at Kes as she confessed, "I've never bit anyone like that before. And… I liked it. The taste of his blood… it…" she let out a disgusted sigh in lieu of completing the sentence. The wind swirled around her as the memory of Tom's blood on her tongue churned in her mind. She took a deep breath of salty air, trying to quell her body's very Klingon response to the metallic tang of his blood.
"I ate mashed potatoes with dirt mixed in during the elogium."
The simplicity with which Kes stated this caused B'Elanna to snap out of her introspection. "You what?"
"I ate mashed potatoes with dirt. And several beetles."
B'Elanna made a face, the mention of the beetles reminding her of the Klingon food her mother had made her eat. "But… why?"
"Why did you bite Tom?"
B'Elanna paused. She tried to tuck her hair behind her ear again, but the wind just whipped it back out. "I don't know. It just… it felt right in the moment."
"So did eating the dirt."
B'Elanna let out a bit of a laugh at that, trying again to tuck her hair away.
"Here, let me," Kes said, moving closer and reaching out for B'Elanna's hair. Her first instinct was to withdraw, but Kes' warm smile stopped her. She could feel Kes' fingers creating a small braid along the side of her head. While Kes worked, she continued, "I know sometimes I feel a bit... isolated being the only Ocampan. But I find that sharing my culture with others and learning about theirs make me feel like I belong."
B'Elanna harrumphed. "Everyone here already knows about Klingons."
"I don't. Neelix doesn't. And I bet there are a lot of things about Klingons that the others aren't aware of. And a lot of people who would like to learn more." There was a pause, then Kes continued in what B'Elanna could have sworn was a suggestive tone, "Like Tom."
B'Elanna was about to deny any possibility of this when Kes retracted her hands. "There, finished. This should keep it out of your face." B'Elanna felt the braid as Kes continued, "Although I don't have a pin to hold it with."
"I wouldn't think you would know how to braid with such short hair." B'Elanna could already feel the wind tugging pieces of hair out.
"I used to have long hair. I've actually been thinking of growing it out again."
B'Elanna tried to picture Kes with long hair, but having only seen the woman with her current look, she could not fully imagine it. Not knowing what else to say, she replied, "I think that would look… nice."
Kes smiled warmly. "Thank you."
A gust of wind blew past the women, unraveling the last of Kes' efforts. Her hair whipping her in the face again, B'Elanna spoke. "We should probably go to sickbay for that follow up."
"Yes, that will keep the Doctor from tracking you down." The pair stood, but right as B'Elanna was about to call for the program to end, Kes spoke. "And maybe we could go to the mess hall after?"
B'Elanna smiled as she replied, "I'd like that." Then directing her voice upward, she called out, "Computer, end program."
Fin