Just a Dream
. . . . .
Lorelai's eyes fluttered open and she stared up at the ceiling for a few seconds. When she realized where she was, she exhaled a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God, it was just a dream," she muttered as she covered her face with her hands. Every moment of it felt so real, so emotional, so complicated, and she was happy for it to be over. But it also gave her some things to think about, things she needed to deal with.
She turned to look at the empty space beside her and remembered that Luke didn't sleep over last night, and then she groaned when she remembered how their night had ended.
The previous night, after she and Luke had gone out for dinner, he'd brought her home and they'd ended up in bed. That was a fairly common ending to the many dates they'd had since Rory's going away party 3 weeks earlier... they were having fun making up for a year of lost time.
Afterwards, as she was cuddled up against him in bed, her head resting comfortably against his chest, he'd said, "We should talk."
"About what?"
"About us, about the future," Luke replied, and he kissed the top of her head.
Lorelai opened her eyes and her heart started racing a little. "Right now?"
"Yeah."
"Um, I'm kind of tired," Lorelai said. "Maybe another night?" She heard him let out a soft sigh, and that's when she lifted her head to look at him. "What was that for?"
"That's what you said the two other times I've tried to bring it up," Luke pointed out.
Lorelai sat up in the bed. "Well, you keep trying to bring it up in bed right after you've spent a long time tiring me out, so what do you expect?"
"So, that's really what it is, it's not you avoiding the topic?"
"No, why would I be avoiding it?"
"I don't know, Lorelai, that's what I'm trying to figure out."
"I'm not avoiding it, I'm just tired," Lorelai said.
Luke let out another soft sigh. "Okay, well, then... maybe I should let you get some sleep." He pushed the blanket off of him and climbed out of the bed.
Lorelai watched as he started to gather his clothes. "Wait, are you leaving?"
"Yup," he replied shortly as he started getting dressed.
"Luke, come on, stay," Lorelai urged. "We can talk if you wanna talk, it's fine... just stay, please."
"You're not ready to talk, that's obvious," Luke said. "So I'm not gonna make you."
"You're not making me," Lorelai insisted. "I wanna talk, I love talking, I'm addicted to talking, I'm literally the most talkative person you know."
"Except when it comes to serious topics," Luke retorted. "Sure, you can rattle on about The Sopranos for an hour, but I mention our future and it's radio silence."
"Well, it's been bad timing," Lorelai said.
Luke rolled his eyes. "Yup, it's my fault."
"That's not what I meant," she said softly.
They were both quiet as Luke sat on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes. When he stood up, he turned to face her.
Lorelai got on her knees and moved to the edge of the bed in front of him. "Come on, you don't have to go," she said. "Let's sleep on it and we can talk in the morning."
"We need some time to think before we talk," Luke said. "You need to think about what you want."
"I know what I want." Lorelai put her hands on his cheeks. "Luke, I love you, okay? I love you. I'm in this completely." She pressed her lips to his for a kiss that he lightly returned, and then she slowly pulled back. "Okay?"
Luke rested his hands on her waist. "I just wanna make sure we're both in this at the same level. I'm ready to pick up where we left off, and it feels like... I don't know... you're back at year 1, like we're starting all over from the beginning."
Lorelai narrowed her eyes at him. "That's not true."
"Well, that's what it feels like and I don't know what that means," Luke said, and then he sighed again. "Look, we shouldn't do this right now. You're tired, I'm tired, let's just... let's hold off, okay?" He kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye."
Lorelai watched him as he walked out of the bedroom, and then she fell back onto her pillow with a heavy sigh. That was how their date ended.
And then she'd gone to sleep, had an emotional rollercoaster of a dream, and now here she was the next morning, trying to figure out how to prevent that dream from becoming a reality.
. . . . .
. . . . .
Lorelai showered and dressed, took Paul Anka for a quick walk, and then headed to the Dragonfly Inn. She found a staff member to cover the desk and then pulled Michel and Sookie into her office for an impromptu meeting.
"Okay, so, things are going well," Lorelai said. "We have a great occupancy rate, everything's running smoothly, we don't need to change anything right now."
"But," Michel prompted her.
"But I think we need to plan for the future," Lorelai said. "We should think now about what kinds of improvements we might want to make."
"Improvements?" Sookie asked, and then glanced between Michel and Lorelai. "Is this about my food? Do you guys think it needs improving and this is some sort of intervention under the cover of a staff meeting?"
Michel rolled his eyes. "My God, this pregnancy has made you more insane than the other two."
Lorelai shook her head. "No, Sookie, your food is fine," she said, and then when she saw Sookie start to respond defensively to that, Lorelai quickly added, "Not fine, fantastic, literally the greatest food I've ever tasted."
Sookie smiled. "Really?"
"Yes, really," Lorelai confirmed. "But this isn't about your food, it's about the inn. What we have now is good... it's great, actually. And we're still relatively new, so I think we're fine just as we are for a few years. But I don't want us to become stale or boring, so we should have changes in mind for the future to keep things new and fresh."
"I agree," Michel said. "We can't just stay the same forever, we need to evolve."
"Evolve how?" Sookie asked
"Well, for example, and I can't believe I'm saying this," Lorelai said as she shook her head at herself, "...but my mother had an idea about maybe adding a spa."
Michel's eyes lit up and he gasped. "I was born to run a spa!" He realized his overexcitement and cleared his throat before calmly adding, "I mean, that's an okay idea."
Lorelai smiled. "That's an example of something we might want to do down the road, and I want you guys to think about other potential ideas."
"What about the money?" Sookie asked. "If you're looking for a big idea like that, it's gonna be expensive."
Lorelai inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Well, my mother said that she and my father would be willing to invest some money in the inn, so that's an option."
Sookie's eyes widened. "That's an option? Since when is your parents' money ever an option that you're okay with?"
"Is this some sort of joke?" Michel asked, narrowing his eyes at Lorelai. "Are you pranking us?"
"No, I'm not pranking you," Lorelai said. "I'm just trying to put what's best for the inn above my own personal pride."
Michel and Sookie exchanged a look. "This is weird, right?" Michel said quietly to Sookie.
"Very," Sookie confirmed. "Maybe she's sick."
"I'm not sick," Lorelai said firmly, and then she added, "Oh, Sookie, do you think you can whip me up a small batch of those healthy cranberry pistachio cookies by this afternoon?"
"Sure thing," Sookie replied.
"Thank you." Lorelai folded her hands on the desk in front of her. "Okay, that's all I wanted to mention. Let me know if you come up with any other ideas, and we'll look at the options and decide what'll be the best fit."
As Michel and Sookie stood up to leave, Lorelai said, "Wait, one more thing." She glanced out the window of her office into the side yard. "Are there swamplands and weird lizards surrounding the inn's property or was that something my crazy imagination cooked up?"
Michel eyed her curiously. "Not that I'm aware of."
"Okay, just checking, thanks."
Michel glanced at Sookie. "Let's keep an eye on her," he muttered, and Sookie nodded in agreement as they walked out of the office.
. . . . .
. . . . .
That afternoon, Lorelai drove to her parents' house and knocked on the front door. The maid answered and led her out to the back patio where Emily was gardening.
"Hi, Mom," Lorelai greeted her.
Emily looked over, surprised. "Lorelai. What are you doing here?"
Lorelai held up a container of cookies. "Well, Sookie made some of those cookies that Dad really likes, so I thought I'd go for a ride and bring them over."
Emily eyed the container. "You drove all the way out here for that? Aren't you coming for dinner on Friday?"
"Yeah, but I felt like going for a drive, so..." Lorelai set the container down on the patio bench. "Here."
"Well, thank you," Emily replied. "I'm sure your father will enjoy the treat."
Lorelai sat down on the bench. "So, Dad's staying on top of his follow-up appointments with the cardiologist, right?"
Emily's eyes widened. "Where did that come from?"
"Well, I read that people who've suffered a heart attack are at a high risk for having another, so we definitely want to make sure he's going for a checkup every few months."
"Yes, well, you know how your father is," Emily said. "He hates going to the doctor."
"Yeah, but we need to stay on top of him," Lorelai insisted. "Make him go."
"Well, I'll certainly try, but there's not much I can do," Emily said. "If he won't go, he won't go, especially if he feels fine."
"Well, you'll need to do something to encourage him," Lorelai said. "Lie to him if you have to. Tell him you'll leave him... tell him if he doesn't go, I'll stop coming to Friday night dinner and that you'll blame him for that for the rest of his life. Do whatever it takes... he needs to go, Mom, okay?"
Emily shook her head with confusion. "What on Earth is going on? Is Luke sick? Is that what this is about?"
"No, Luke's not sick, but I'll make sure he goes to the doctor for routine checkups from now on just in case," Lorelai said. "Heart disease is a silent killer and you never know who it might strike."
"You're being very strange today, Lorelai," Emily said.
"Yes, well, that's one of the nicer descriptions I've received in my life," Lorelai said. "There's one more thing I wanna talk to you about, Mom."
"What, you wanna make sure I'm having my yearly mammograms?" Emily guessed.
Lorelai smirked. "No, but you should," she said. "Um, I just wanted you to know that I mentioned your spa suggestion for the inn to Michel and Sookie."
A small smile appeared on Emily's lips. "Did you, now?"
"Yes, and we think we might want to do some sort of expansion in a few years, either the spa or maybe something else," Lorelai explained. "So I just wanted to let you know that if your offer to invest in the inn still stands, we might take you up on it. Not any time soon, but... eventually."
"It still stands," Emily confirmed.
Lorelai nodded. "Okay, good. Thank you." She stood up and glanced toward the house. "Is Dad at work?"
"He is," Emily replied.
"Okay, well, tell him I said hello," Lorelai said. "I have something I need to go do, but I'll see you on Friday."
"All right," Emily said. "Goodbye, Lorelai."
"Bye, Mom."
Lorelai walked back through the house and out the front door, and got in the Jeep. As she pulled out of the driveway, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Rory.
After a few rings, Rory answered, "Hey, Mom."
"Hey," Lorelai replied. "Is this a bad time?"
"Nope, we just got out of a briefing and we're on the bus heading to a town hall," Rory replied. "So I've got about 15 minutes."
"How's everything going?" Lorelai asked. "How's Barack?"
"Everything's good. Nothing new since we talked a few days ago," Rory replied. "How are things there?"
"They're okay," Lorelai replied. "Listen, this might sound weird, what I'm about to say, but all you have to do is sit there and listen so that I can look back and know that I shared this with you, okay?"
"Um, okay," Rory confusedly replied.
"Okay, here goes," Lorelai replied, and she took a deep breath. "There have been many times in my life that I've found myself doing something that may not have been the right choice, but the comfortable choice. A good example of that is... your dad. He was someone who I knew cared for me and we had a long history and that made him easy to keep going back to. You with me?"
"Yeah, but I don't know where we're going."
"You are the greatest thing I've done in my life, and yes, your dad played a small part in that," Lorelai said.
"A very small part," Rory interjected.
"Like, ten minutes worth of a part, and I'm being generous," Lorelai said. "But after that, all of the other times he and I connected with each other over the years... well, they shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have kept repeating things with him. I knew in my heart that while, yes, he was a good friend, he wasn't the right man for me. I knew it and I just kept ignoring it and I just kept throwing myself back into the same situation over and over."
"Mom, why are you telling me this?"
"Because I want you to think about this conversation if you are ever in a situation like that," Lorelai replied. "I don't want you to keep repeating what feels comfortable if you know in your heart that it's not right. You need to be stronger than I was, you need to resist the temptation better than I did. Because I regret some of the choices I made, kid, and I don't want you to look back on things years from now and have the same regrets, okay? Promise me you will remember this conversation."
"I promise," Rory said, and then she concernedly asked, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Lorelai replied. "But have you ever had a dream that felt so real that it influenced your real life choices?"
"Sometimes, but it's usually about some sort of food," Rory replied. "Like when I have a piece of pizza in a dream, and then I wake up and desperately need to go get pizza."
"Yeah, that's common with me, too," Lorelai said. "But I had a crazy dream last night that kind of... I don't know... it made me realize some things, and one of the things I realized is that I needed to tell you what I just told you."
"Okay. Can I ask you a follow-up question?"
"Yes."
"Well, you're back with Luke now," Rory said. "How do you know that getting back together with him isn't just another easy comfortable choice, that it's the right choice?"
Lorelai's lips curved into a smile. "Because everything about this choice feels right, I don't second guess it or question it. There's just this feeling that he's the one I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with and have that cheesy but romantic happily ever after with. And I'm on my way right now to go tell him that because I haven't really done a good job of making that clear."
"I thought you guys talked about things when you first got back together?" Rory asked.
"We did. We talked about the past, we apologized for things," Lorelai replied. "But we didn't really talk extensively about the future."
"Got it. So you need to tell him that he's your future."
"Yup." Lorelai cringed a little before adding, "Oh, and I have to throw one more thing out there... don't get mad at me for saying it."
"Okay."
"Please don't ever be the other woman again, okay? Nothing good will ever come from that. If you wanna be with someone and he's not single... you wait for him to be single or you move on. It's just the right thing to do. Remember that, okay?"
"I got it," Rory replied. "Geez, that must've been some dream."
"Yeah, it was," Lorelai replied. "I gotta go. Thanks for listening to your mother's random blabbering, and for not directly telling her that she sounds completely crazy, but instead just thinking it in your head."
"You're welcome," Rory replied. "Love you, Mom."
"Love you, too."
. . . . .
. . . . .
Lorelai drove from Hartford to the diner and parked on the street out front. She walked inside and saw Luke behind the counter, and slowly walked over to him.
"Hi," she said.
"Hey," he replied.
"You have a few minutes to take a walk with me?" Lorelai asked him. "So we can talk?"
"Yeah."
Luke told Caesar he'd be back in a few minutes, and then he followed Lorelai outside. They walked across the street to the grassy area next to the dance studio.
Lorelai turned to face him. "I'm sorry for how last night ended."
"Me, too," Luke replied. "I shouldn't have left, that was stupid."
Lorelai shook her head. "No, it's okay." She took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. "Look, I'm terrified of a lot of things right now, and most of them are related to you."
"Me?"
"Yeah. I'm terrified to screw this relationship up, to lose you again, to have things fall apart the way they did before," Lorelai explained. "And so it just felt like the easy thing to do was for us to start dating again and keep things casual and simple for awhile and not try to rush into the serious things. Which is why I freaked out every time you wanted to talk about the future."
"I wasn't trying to rush you into the serious things, I just wanted to talk about them," Luke said.
"I know," Lorelai assured him. "But in my mind, if we started talking about them, if we got to that serious level, things would get more complicated and there would be more chances to screw things up." She shook her head a little. "I know it sounds crazy, but I just need you to know that's the reason I kept avoiding the conversation. It wasn't because I don't want a future with you... it's because I do and I don't want to ruin it."
"Well, then, let's have the conversation," Luke said. "Are we on the same page here, Lorelai? Are you in this for the long haul... because I am."
"I am, too," Lorelai replied with a nod. "Of course I am."
"Okay, good," Luke said. "Because honestly, that's something I wasn't sure about. You didn't want to talk about the future and I didn't know how to interpret that... if it was you being unsure about us or something."
Lorelai frowned apologetically. "I'm sorry it came off that way. That's not what it meant."
"It's okay, I get that now," Luke replied. "And now that I know we're on the same page, we can decide together what pace we want. If you want to keep things simple for awhile, we can... I'm okay with that."
Lorelai adamantly shook her head. "No, I don't want that anymore. I had this crazy dream last night that helped change my mind on that."
"A dream?"
"Yeah, it felt so real. We lived together for years and years, but we didn't open up to each other, we didn't talk about marriage, about kids, about anything. It's like we were together, but separate... and we just kept things simple for way too long." She shook her head slightly. "And the dream actually ended with us getting married, but it made me realize the only thing worse than us going too fast is us going too slow. I don't want us to miss out on all the things we want to do. We need to make sure that doesn't happen."
"So... what does that mean?"
"It means I don't want to keep things simple, I want to pick up where we left off. I want you to move in now, I want us to get married soon, I want us to have kids," Lorelai said, and then she swallowed hard before adding, "... if you still want those things."
Luke smiled at her. "I still want them."
Lorelai smiled as she stepped closer to him. "Let's do it," she said excitedly, and she pressed her lips to his for a deep kiss.
As they separated, Luke asked, "You're sure about this? You're kind of going from one extreme to the other, and I don't want you to regret it."
"I'm completely sure," she confirmed. "This is the future we were on track for, and I still want it."
"Me, too," Luke agreed.
"We just need to communicate better than we did last time," she added. "We need to be open with each other, okay? We can't keep things from each other. We have to say what we want."
"So, we shouldn't avoid conversation topics that terrify us?" Luke teased.
Lorelai smiled and nodded. "Yes. We should definitely try not to do that thing that I've been doing."
Luke slipped his arms around her and pulled her closer. "So... just to make this more official," he said, and then he kissed her gently before whispering, "Will you marry me?"
Lorelai grinned. "Yes, I will."
. . . . .
. . . . .
The End
Author's Note: I just had the urge to send these two toward the middle they deserved. Thanks for reading!