Loss
Did you know that you can lose someone, while you are looking right at them?
That, even as you watch them, never blinking, they can be slipping away, snatched by an invisible hand that you can never, ever catch?
I think that's when it's the hardest. When you are watching so hard, trying so much, and you still lose it.
That's what happened to us. It's what's happening now…
Michaelangelo -
It started like any other day. They usually do, though, don't they. It's not a question… it's just a fact.
Not like it should have been a shock, either, you know? Looking back, things like this never really do just jump out at you. There are all those signs that you know that you should have seen before, but only make sense now.
We all knew that sensei was getting older. There are certain… limitations that come along with that. I think that's why we never gave some things another thought. We just accepted that this was a part of getting older. How were we to know?
This really bothers Don. And I mean really. He can't get over the fact that he didn't get it. He thinks that he could have stopped it somehow. And he's the one who should know that something like this can't be stopped.
But he won't accept that.
Which is why I am dragging him off to bed again, after he fell asleep at the kitchen table. He won't sleep. And he's moody when he's awake.
I shake his shoulder gently. I don't need him jumping at me like he did the last time.
"Donnie." I whisper, close to his head. He must be exhausted. He is out.
"Don." I try a bit louder. Moving a few steps back, I sigh. Giving up for the moment, I pick up a paper off the table that surround my brother and I begin to read. My nose wrinkles. I don't wanna read anymore of these things.
All they say are things we should have seen, should have known.
I mean, forgetting is a big part of getting older. We all knew that. So when Master Splinter started forgetting, none of us thought anything of it. It wasn't the first time… It wouldn't be the last.
If only we knew.
But what could we do about it?
Absolutely nothing.
And that, above all else, hurts.