One
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Chapter One
It was a cold winter day when they buried her husband, her lover, her best friend. She leaned into her son's embrace as they lowered him into the ground with a simple prayer. All of Genovia was gathered on the lawn behind them, uncaring that it was almost zero degrees, and one of the coldest days on record. They had lost their best friend as well, their King, their Rupert. Clarisse was quick to show the country that he was her Rupert first. True, their marriage had been arranged, but it had been as wonderful as possible. They hadn't fallen in love over the course of 40 years, but they had loved one another immensely.
The cold wind blasted past her darkened veil, which she tried her hardest to hide behind. Joseph walked one step behind the royal family, as he had for the past 39 years. He joined the palace at the tender age of 21, first guarding the front doors, then befriending the king as his personal body guard, then graduating to protecting what meant most to Rupert: Clarisse.
Joseph had been there for nearly as much as the grieving woman in front of him. Although he had been on the outside, he knew what the palace was truly like and who the Queen was as a woman. He saw right through her brave persona, through to the terrified little girl inside.
'What will I do now?' was the mantra reeling in her worried mind. The tears stung at her eyes, as she looked out at the mourning crowd. She couldn't protect them like he could. Philippe wanted another year before he took the crown, and he was adamant about it, even now. Clarisse was ready to drop the crown at his feet and run as far away as her legs would carry her. She was nothing without her partner in crime, nothing without her Rupert.
She could hear the mourners' dark whispers and saddened shouts of 'Viva Clarisse'. They wished her all the best, this she knew, but living long was not what she wanted to think about at this moment. She hadn't imagined his not-so-sudden death to affect her this much.
Joseph watched as she turned to leave, and her sons helped her to stay upright. She was dangerously close to meeting the ground. Her body shook and trembled with sobs as she left her husband's frail figure behind. Joseph wished so badly to take her into his arms, to soothe away her pain as he often had when she and Rupert had fought. But there was nothing he could do, especially in front of such a large crowd. He would only make it worse under these circumstances. He watched her put one foot in front of the other, until she finally made it to the limousine safely. He heard her muffled sigh of relief at sitting, knowing she could no longer stand, for if she did, she may well have collapse.
Joseph drove slowly, followed by what seemed to be an endless line of cars, none of which were invited back to the castle. They parked outside, determined to stay by the Queen's side until they could do so no more. Clarisse made a motion to dismiss them all, saying that they needn't stay, for they could not help. They couldn't make it better for her, her family or themselves. It was far too cold outside for people to be camping in a parking lot.
She made it to her chambers, dismissed the maids, the cooks, all the security that Joseph would let her dismiss, and her family. She needed to be alone. Her thoughts were better gathered without the noise and distraction of another person. So she sat, alone and hurt, for two hours. Until she heard a knock on the door.
"Enter." She whispered softly.
"Your majesty?" Joseph asked, poking his head in the door.
It was no question to the outside world that the queen had befriended her body guard over the years. Sometimes the person who had the most trouble defining their relationship was Joseph. At times he felt as if he were walking on water, other times it was fire. Clarisse sometimes accepted his loving touch and his tender words, and other times, she pushed him away and rejected his intimacies.
Somehow, for Clarisse, seeing the only friend she had left made her break down again. He rushed to her seat by the window and took her in his arms at last. "Oh, my dear." He repeated, rocking her back and forth. For once in their lives, neither had anything to say. But Clarisse welcomed the attention, and welcomed the warmth provided by his arms. All day she had been cold and empty inside, and having protective arms around her helped to fill that void, even if just temporarily.
Joseph had lost a friend as well. He had a running joke with the king that he would one day steal his wife. Rupert had never actually felt threatened by Joseph's relationship with his wife, but Joseph almost felt he should have been. He and Clarisse had often come close to a forbidden encounter. But nothing ever happened, because neither could do that to Rupert. But even now, Joseph fought to keep the thoughts and ideas out of his mind. The woman in his arms was deeply depressed, and sobbing into his shoulder because she could trust him. He couldn't break that trust, not for anything.
He kissed her head softly, feeling her relax beneath him. The tension from her body was slowly releasing. It would be a long night.
--
"Joseph . . . darling . . . " He felt gentle hands on his shoulder. "Joseph . . . " Her voice was tender and loving. He loved the fact that her voice no longer contained the despair it had last night. "My love . . . " This woke him instantly. Had he heard her correctly?
"Clarisse?" He responded softly.
"We fell asleep." She had just a hint of wonderful laughter in her voice.
"Here?" He sat up. "Ow . . . " His head ached from resting it on the hard wood of the window. He chuckled slightly, and pulled Clarisse into his arms again. She willingly leaned against him, trying to drown herself in his warmth. Perhaps she could make the world go away if she listened to his beating heart. But nothing like that seemed to work. Everything she thought of led her to Rupert, and to the image of him on his deathbed . . .
"Clarisse?" She heard him squeak, reaching out to hold her hand.
"Oh, my darling." She whispered, taking his cold hand in hers.
"I'm sorry, Clarisse." He apologized.
"For what, Rupert?"
"For letting you down. I know I wasn't your dream man."
"Oh, my love. You were, I was the one who let you down. I was a terrible wife . . . "
"You were more than any man could ever wish for."
"I love you." She confessed softly. "I should have said it more often."
"I love you, too" The words became few and far between, separated by ragged breaths. "Where's Joe?"
"Right here, your majesty." Joseph stepped forward, kneeling by the bed.
"Come here, son." He reached a boney finger out to him.
"Sir?" He leaned close enough for a whisper.
"You stay by her side, and love her as I have failed to do, or I will come back and haunt you. She's yours now. I expect you to take care of her." Joseph was completely taken aback.
"I would think of nothing else."
"Thank you." Rupert shook his hand limply. Clarisse walked to the bed again, unaware of the conversation preceding. She kissed his forehead, and the line gradually went flat.
Clarisse shivered herself out of her flashback and back into the real world. The world where the only person she had was holding her close.
"Clarisse?"
"Yes?" She climbed off the window seat, grabbing her coat from her closet.
"Clarisse . . . it's three in the morning, where are you going?" He tried to stand.
"We are going to the cabin." Clarisse watched Joseph as he stumbled to her. He was only half awake.
"No . . . no, no, no. Clarisse, it's snowing."
"I have faith in you." She slipped her coat on.
"Clarisse, I don't have faith in me. It's dark and icy. We can go in the morn . . . " He saw her expression change. "Is it really that vital that we go right now?"
"Yes." She pouted her bottom lip out slightly. He wasn't sure if she was doing it on purpose, because she knew he could not say no, or just out of habit.
"Why?" He challenged her, knowing that in the back of his mind, it was not a good idea.
"Because that's the last time I saw Rupert happy, and I want to go get some of his things from there."
"I think you're being ridiculous." Joseph remarked. She took offense.
"I'm not." She crossed her arms. "I need to be close to him, and that's the only place I can be."
"All right, just give me a second." His hand traveled up his cheek to rest on his forehead.
"Headache?" She exited and came back with a bottle of Ibuprofen. "Thank you, for agreeing to take me, my darling." Clarisse kissed his head softly.
"And the headache is gone." He whispered. She smiled slightly. "Well, lets go." Clarisse stopped, a familiar forbidden thought coming to her mind.
"Joseph . . . " She placed her hand on his arm.
"What is it, Clarisse?"
"Never mind, it's nothing." She mumbled, walking out. How long could she possibly avoid telling him how she felt?
--
"Are you still sure you want to do this?" Joseph opened the back door, waiting for her to get in.
"Yes. And I'd like to sit in the front." He shook his head. She could really baffle him sometimes.
"All right." He gave in and changed doors.
"Thank you." She rested her hand on his cheek. He smiled weakly and shut the door behind her.
Clarisse closed her eyes and felt the engine start. She felt the cold air chilling her to the marrow and shivered. Suddenly as it had come, the cold had gone away. She opened her eyes to a leather jacket lying across her figure. "You'll freeze."
"I'll risk it." Joseph smiled, pulling out of the iced driveway. They drove for a long while in silence. Clarisse could feel the tension rising in the car. He was concentrating harder than he ever had. One false move could be deadly. When he felt a hand on his leg, he swerved slightly . "Darling . . . " He inhaled sharply.
"Sorry, you seemed so tense." The innocence in her voice almost killed him. She didn't move her hand.
"It's all right." He took one hand briefly off the wheel to blanket hers in his. Clarisse welcomed the physical contact. She'd been wanting to touch him for the past hour. She tried to lace her fingers in his, but he pulled away to concentrate once again.
An hour longer into the drive, Clarisse was fast asleep. Joseph was blinking fiercely, finally realizing he would not be able to continue for the last hour.
"Clarisse." He woke her by running fingers through her hair. God, she was beautiful when she slept.
"Hmmm?"
"I'm gonna pull over for an hour or so, I need to rest, my darling. There's a parking lot up about a mile."
"All right." She nestled back into the seat and waited for the car to come to a stop. But the car seemed to be going faster than ever. It seemed to be spinning. At first, she thought perhaps her sheer exhaustion had caused the dizziness, but she soon realized that it was real. The car seemed to fly off the edge of the road, until it stopped head on into the nearest tree.
The car smoked and sputtered, and she couldn't move. The crushed vehicle pinned her to her seat. She felt blood rushing down her arm, and screamed.
"Joseph!" She yelled, trying her hardest to move. "Joseph!" She repeated his name desperately. His eyes were closed, and his breathing stilled. A tree branch poked through the glass in the window. She used all the strength in her body to turn and put a hand on his wrist. He was alive. "Joseph, oh my Lord, please no." She screamed for help, from anyone, anywhere. She could hear sirens in the distance. "Joseph, stay with me, please...please..." Her pleading mantra continued until the sirens were upon her. She felt glass around her, and someone pulled her from the wreckage.
"Your Majesty!" They yelled. "We'll keep you safe." The officer told her.
"Get Joseph, please, I can't lose him, please." She kept repeating.
"We'll get him." He told her. "I promise."
"Don't let him die, I never got to tell him...please..." The officer looked at her, confused.
"Don't worry, madam."
"Please..." She whispered, reaching her hand out from beneath the blanket that was being placed upon her. She watched helplessly as they pulled Joseph from the car. He was mangled and covered in blood. It shocked her to see him so different from what he had been only moments before. They strapped him to a stretcher and put him in the ambulance. She noticed that there were two ambulances, but she refused to take her own. She was going with Joseph if it was the last thing she did.