KOTONE'S POV:
He was my first, you know. No, not my first time with a man, or even my first kiss. No, I was never so lucky with him. Silver was didn't give me my first anything, but he was my first love. Still is, even. I'm the kind of idiot who loves a man who would no sooner love me than he would a wild Beedrill.
The first time I saw him was the very moment I fell in love. I didn't recognize his face, handsome as it was. Even if I didn't live in a place like New Bark Town, where I know everyone like family, I would have instantly known he was a stranger. He was staring intently into Professor Elm's lab window, so I knew he didn't see me. I tried to speak to him, but he pushed me away… both figuratively and literally. So, I went about my business with Professor Elm and my new Pokémon: Cyndaquil. He remained on my mind like some kind of poison, however, and grew stronger with the same relentless attitude that plagues poisoned Pokémon.
The next time I saw him, he had a Pokémon of his own: a Totodile. We battled, and I beat him. His anger shone in those red eyes of his, and I could see he was a troubled boy. I called out to him as he ran off, but he disregarded me. As he would do many times later. I picked up his trainer card and saw his name: Silver. Of course, he thought I took the card from him, and gave me the kind of glare that made the strongest Pokémon shiver and fear and left even faster than before. His image wouldn't leave my mind as I returned home to give Professor Elm the egg Mr. Pokémon left for him. When the police man told me about the stolen Pokémon, and Gold gave a description of him, I put two and two together. My brooding knight with garnet eyes was the thief. A smart girl would have known that this boy was trouble and immediately drop any girlish dreams of grandeur she might have had and let her feelings die. However, like I stated earlier, I'm an idiot. As I told the police Silver's name, I made a vow to myself: I would show him how to be good, and love his Pokémon. All hope was lost at that point.
Each time I heard him call out my name, demanding a battle, my heart skipped a beat. Even when my Pokémon were gasping from the force of our battles, I could not draw any sort of negative feelings for him. Even when he would shove me aside in his angry tantrums when he lost, I felt no pain other than his leaving. I defeated him every time, and every time he wondered why. I told him it was because I loved my Pokémon, but he ignored these words like he ignored the hopeful looks I gave him: the ones that were begging him to see me as a woman, and not just a rival.
It was after one of these battles that I met Lance. I had just caught the poor red Gyrados that was forced to evolve, and with all the grace expected of the Pokémon League champion, he encouraged my skills and asked me to assist him in stopping Team Rocket's scheme. If only I knew how accepting his request would have changed my life, I might have thought twice before dashing off to keep Team Rocket from hurting any more Pokémon. But I did go, and because of what I saw there I was forced to reality with a crushing blow.
I saw Silver while I was in Team Rocket's base. I expected him to want to fight me. Even while my heartbeat quickened at the idea of spending time with him, the blood drained from my face when I thought of how weak my Pokémon were from battling all those Team Rocket members. But he didn't want to fight me. He barely even noticed I was there: he was just venting to my always available ears. He was talking to me about Lance… how the dragon tamer had defeated him. Like I do, Lance lectured Silver on the love Pokémon needed… but this time was different. Silver's eyes were swirling with perplexity… I only noticed because I loved him so much. When he looked at me, his eyes were like precious stones: beautiful and cold. But now they churned with unpredictable flames that threatened to scorch him from the inside out. Lance's words had affected him in a way mine never could. He stormed off without even mentioning the idea of a battle with me. My heart hurt as he stormed off, not even shoving me aside like he normally would.
When I saw Lance, he seemed uneasy as well. It was obvious he shared my need to change Silver's path of darkness. He wanted Silver to love his Pokémon… where I wanted Silver to love me as well. His longings were nobler than mine, and their impact was greater in return. Even at that point, I had not lost hope.
I was clothed in the outfit of Team Rocket grunts when I saw him. Just like before, a fire burned in his eyes as he demanded I take the uniform. As my face turned a bright red and hope fluttered like a butterfly, he tugged at my clothes. Surely, he didn't know I had my clothes on underneath my disguise? He was trying to seduce me… in his own, brusque way, right? But no, he spoke of Lance again, saying how he wanted a rematch with him. But he didn't need to say what it was he really sought: because I could see it anyways. He wanted to just see Lance again, the same way I wanted to see him. This time, I offered to battle, but he blew off the suggestion and left me. I still had my loyal Quilava nosing sympathetically at my hand, but I felt so alone. My love, short and hopeless as it was, had been shattered.
The worst part, however, was after I beat Lance at Indigo Plateau. A part of me was sure that if I proved to Silver that I was a better Pokémon trainer, he'd acknowledge me instead. A part of that was right: immediately after my victory, Silver demanded a final rematch between us. But he was changed now: and it was thanks to Lance. His Golbat had evolved into a Crobat; a feat impossible without true feelings of friendship. And soon after my victory over him, he offered to return the Feraligator he had stolen as a Totodile, but the Pokémon loved him too much to return to Professor Elm. Silver had undergone a change of heart, but it still had no feelings for me. Only for the one who helped Silver to see the error of his ways. Only for that man.
I fought him after that, and my heart fluttered at the sight of him after that, but things were never the same for me. To this day, I long for him. Even as he longs for the Dragon Trainer I can't help but look up to. I heard from Clair that Lance is completely bisexual, so maybe Silver's love has a chance. Or, more than mine does at least…
AN: Dear Gawd… the first Soulsilver piece I write and its one-sided? Do not be fooled my readers! I love these two as a couple sooooooooooooo much. And I dun like Silver with Lance. At all. So why did I write this? … Good question. Maybe it has something to do with my own hopeless love life. I promise my next Soulsilver will not be one-sided!