Shepard was trying. Really trying. And failing miserably.
"You have to be more aggressive!" was Kasumi saying, almost yelling at her
Shepard lay sitting at the thief's couch sipping a glass of wine, trying to figure out how to implement Kasumi's advice.
"C'mon Shep! You are a spectre, an N7 operative! You should be more resourceful and don't give up! He'll realize it sooner or later" said Kasumi sitting in front of her
"Argh! It's killing me. I don't know what else to do! At this point I don't know if he is just oblivious or Grunt is sexier than me" she said hiding her face in her palms
"But, didn't he show any sign of, you know, acknowledgement? I mean he realized you were there doing all those things you told me right?" asked Kasumi, leaning forward with complicity write on her face
"Yeah, I mean yeah he did, but he just laughed or acted like his normal wisecracking self" Shepard let out an audible sigh "Damn you Jeff Moreau!" she finished raising her hands to the ceiling.
/
It all had started when she arrived to the new Normandy. After dying and having realized she had lost two years of her life, things were really put in perspective. Things had changed, people who she thought had always going to be there, were not. She was working with Cerberus and sometimes that still sounded like an impossible reality. The only good thing had come in the form of an ornery and snarky helmsman; Joker was still there, Joker of all people.
Back in the SR-1 she had had a crush on him, but never acted on it. Later she got bedazzled by Kaidan and the rest was history. At a point she had come to think that her feelings for the biotic were stronger than they really were, but it all changed the day the Normandy was destroyed. That day, as she climbed the stairs and fought against debris to get Joker, the reality hit her. He was the only one that really mattered to her. She had sworn to herself that if she survived, she would tell him, but … yeah, she died.
Now, two years later, she couldn't shake off the idea that she had to tell him. It seemed so unfair though, she had died so her vow should have been broken, but now Cerberus had brought her back. Feeling the adrenaline rush of the fear of being spaced out of a crashing ship on fire, telling him she loved him had seemed a lot easier. Easy peasy. But now, she felt like a coward again.
Maybe, she thought, maybe I can show him instead of saying something.
And with that idea in mind she had started to throw hints at the pilot. Hints that seemed to have been flying way over his cap.
/
Shepard had decided that bringing him his morning cup of coffee was subtle enough, and she put hands on deck. That morning she woke up very early to prepare everything, approaching to the cockpit feeling like a nervous school girl.
"Hey Commander! Fell of your bed huh?" he asked turning around in his chair to face her
"Yeah, kinda. Here…" she said giving him the cup. Did I blush? No, crap!
"Mmmm" he mumbled grabbing the cup and smelling it "You know what would go great with this? A hamburger. Not vat-grown. An honest-to-god dead cow. With horseradish."
"Maybe we could get one on the Citadel" great. He is talking about a dead cow. Way to go with the flirt Jess.
"Awww, are you trying to bribe your favorite pilot?" he asked grinning over his cup
"Do I have another?" she asked quirking a brow. She knew she should say something more interest, and funny but this was already harder than she had thought.
"My, you offend me Commander. What about the replacement pilot?" he asked amused
"That guy still around? What for? You never let him pilot anything" she answered sincerely
"I could never leave my baby girl in the hands of another man" he said caressing the panels
Why can't he talk that way about me?! Command the conversation Commander!
"So, how's the coffee?" she asked with a very rehearsed indifference tone
"Great, thanks Shepard" he said sipping it "Now, back to my girl" and with that said he spun in is chair waving at her.
Walking down the bridge she felt completely deflated.