Alphabet; Laven week FANFICTION
ALPHABET
A is for Answers;
''How can someone be that much of an arse?! How is it even possible he annoys me even more than Bakanda?..'
Allen stomped around the Order halls aimlessly, a dark aura surrounding his usual 'cheery façade.' No… Allen's mood did not lessen in the least…
'That's just a lie.' No one in the Order knew he was just a fake. That his smiles were just muscles moving, his happy attitude just a cover up to his true feelings and intentions, or that he lost his soul a long time ago. Allen Walker was just a character that he molded, so that people wouldn't get too close to him. Everyone thought they knew him, but he couldn't tell people how it was all a lie…
… But he knew… He knew it from the start. Lavi was a Bookman in training after all, and Bookmen always digged past the surface of a book to see the real truth. Allen's heart wrenched in agony, suddenly wishing he wasn't there.
He felt violated. As if he had been stripped away from his clothes and put out on a display to be seen by the whole world. In just a couple exchanges of words, and Lavi had managed to make him revert back to his old self, back to when he was with Mana.
"idiot…" Allen growled lowly, suddenly making a sharp to head towards his room when he bumped into someone. Allen hit them at full force, falling back on his butt with a grunt. "Oww…"
"You okay?" The other person asked quietly, and Allen looked up. He cursed and frowned when he realized just who he had bumped into.
"You."
Lavi raised a brow, actually feeling a bit insulted at the white haired boy's look and tone. But it didn't matter, Lavi thought to himself immediately, riding the pesky feeling away and giving the boy a blaze smile. "Allen, why'ja leave like that? Lenalee's worried about you."
Allen's eyes hardened. "Lavi, you must think I'm an idiot, don't you?"
"Eh?"
"DON'T BULLSHIT YOURSELF! YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Allen yelled, pushing Lavi away when he went to touch his shoulder. He felt sick. His body felt as if it had been lighted on fire, and he could feel the familiar shadow over his heart… The fourteenth was writhing within him, begging to be let out. Allen swallowed hard, trying to force the overwhelming feeling out of him.
Lavi seemed to notice this because he actually had the balls to look worried. "Whoa there Allen, take it easy."
"FUCKING HELL LIKE I WILL! GAH- WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!... "
"… Allen, if this is about what I said back at the exorcist lounge, th-"
"Shut up. I don't want to hear your fucking apology." Allen spat harshly, glaring at him. He felt as if he were going to crack. "… Has that always been what you think of me, Lavi? Do you thin k I'm just a lie, and that I'm just like you?"
Lavi's lone emerald green eye steeled over. "Allen!"
"- You think- HA, THAT'S NOT RIGHT, BECAUSE YOU DON'T THINK ANYTHING! WE'RE JUST NAMES ON PAPER FOR YOU, AREN'T WE?! AFTER ALL THE SHIT YOU'VE GONE THROUGH WITH US, WE'RE JUST IRRELEVANT PEOPLE IN YOUR RECORDS! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT OUR TRUST, OR EVEN THE WAR! SAVING PEOPLE WAS NEVER YOUR MOTIVE! YEAH, I GET THAT YOUR FIRST PRIORITY IS TO RECORD, BUT YOU'RE ALSO AN EXORCIST! YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN CHOSEN IF YOU WEREN'T MEANT TO SAVE PEOPLE! WERE ALL THOSE WORDS- WHEN YOU CHEERED LENALEE THAT DAY… THAT TIME… YOU HELPED ME… IT WAS ALL A LIE. AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CALL ME THAT, AND SAY THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU GUYS BECAUSE I'M FAKE, AND I DON'T LET ANYONE IN?! I'M SORRY, BUT THERE CAN'T BE ANYONE MORE FAKE THAN YOU… I FUCKING THOUGHT YOU WERE A FRIEND LAVI! BUT YOU DON'T THINK OF US THAT WAY! YOU NEVER HAVE! YOU'RE A BOOKMAN, AND BOOKMEN AREN'T SUPPOSED TO GET ATTACHED, RIGHT?!... I HEARD YOU AND BOOKMAN."
"SO IF YOU KNEW THE SITUATION, THEN WHYYYY ARE YOU BOTHERING WITH THIS!? YEAH, EVERYTHING YOU SAID IS THE FUCKING STONE HARD TRUTH! I DON'T CARE! I'VE NEVER BEEN A PART OF THIS 'ORDER FAMILY' AND NEVER WILL BE. FEELINGS LIKE THAT WILL ONLY GET IN MY WAY OF RECORDING! IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER PUT IT OUT THERE TO YOU GUYS THAT WE WERE EVER FRIENDS! ONCE THIS STUPID WAR IS OVER, BOOKMAN AND I WILL JUST UP AND LEAVE, AND 'LAVI' WILL JUST BE A FAKE MEMORY TO YOU GUYS."
"… FUNNY, NOT SO LONG AGO, YOU CALLED ME FAKE."
"WELL, THAT'S ONE THING WE HAVE IN COMMON."
Allen smiled. But he really wasn't. "I finally understand now. Thank you."
"What are you talking about?" Before he could even continue, Allen had punched him with all the force he could muster. Lavi was knocked off his feet, and he looked up at Allen with a strange emotion. Allen's anger was only fueled by this.
"I'm sorry if we ever bothered you with our feelings, sir. It won't happen again."
"What are you-?"
"You're right. Being fake is something we both have in common." Without another look, Allen left.
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So I know I'm posting this really late in the week of LAVEN, lol. This is actually my first time posting for one of those couple weeks, and also a boyxboy fic.